https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 09:05:29 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2766105 Wed, 09 Aug 2017 00:32:23 +0000 Eko 2766105@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: I completely understand. It sometimes helps me to keep daily reminders of reassurances, so that I don't get overwhelmed by negative emotion. I also keep a journal just to express my emotions daily. When I journal I am mindful to focus on positive things so that I can redirect my thoughts and attitude. Journaling is actually something I do to help manage my stress and anxiety in everyday life. Wishing you and your family the best outcome in this sucky situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2766097 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 22:56:31 +0000 Dahlia 2766097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kitty: I want to ask her to record some videos but I'm not sure if that's saying "hey, you're going to die!" when at this point it's still possible she'll live? </p> <p>@Eko: Thanks, that's really helpful. I hate negative emotion, so it's so hard for me to be okay with the fact it sucks and I'm going to cry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2766056 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 20:09:30 +0000 MaryM 2766056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family photos while you're home is a good idea. My sister arranged that for us before my dad lost his hair. It was a little morbid at the time, but it's good to have those photos </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2766019 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:47:40 +0000 kitty 2766019@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry about your mom's illness :sad: </p> <p>I would say try to organise something that will allow you to remember her and to show your children if she does pass away, so then you can be a little more at peace with her passing. Like a photo shoot or some letters or some videos with her.</p> <p>Also, make sure you have a leisure activity that really engages(distracts) or switches off your mind once a week or so, because grief and anxiety can be so tiring and sometimes you need to take a break from it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2766013 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 17:39:52 +0000 Eko 2766013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am really sorry to hear that :heart: </p> <p>I'll mimic others about therapy and praying, if that is something that you are interested in and might work for you. I think it also depends on how you deal with grief. My mom has gone through various cancer episodes and treatments. I am fortunate that her cancers so far have not been terminal. I just always focused more on helping her and being there for her and trying to not think about what ifs. My husband helped me a lot since he lost his father at a young age so being with someone that can understand helps. Also, and this mentality it not for everyone, but understanding that it is going to be terrible and trying to remind yourself it is ok to be upset and it's ok to mad helps things pass faster. </p> <p>Both my grandparents passed away about a year ago. I was very close with them and thinking about how they won't get to see my kids grow up or meet one of my kids has been and still is upsetting. I have also seen the effects on my dad and aunt who lost their parents in such a short amount of time. Everyone processes differently. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765909 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 11:44:37 +0000 Dahlia 2765909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, everyone. Sounds like I should call my old therapist ASAP and see if I can get back in.</p> <p>Part of the problem is that I live on the opposite side of the country from her. I'm going to try to go next week. We'll get more info on Thursday so then I can think more long term. </p> <p>This sucks so much. I can't believe it's happening. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765890 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 10:37:04 +0000 catlady 2765890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom got her first cancer diagnosis about 10 years ago (out of 3, the final one being terminal). It was very hard on me, especially since I was in my PhD program and trying to plan a wedding. The idea that my mom would never meet my children was so, so hard for me to overcome. I agree that therapy is probably the very best thing you can do for yourself. Other stuff that helped, to varying degrees: meditation, exercise (only if it helps you become less stressed and doesn't make it worse), allowing yourself to go out with friends and forget about things for awhile. I am not religious, but if you are, I think you can really find comfort there too.</p> <p>One tip is to try to have people outside of your family (i.e. who are not as affected) that you can talk to. My mom's illness made my family crazy and there were times when we tore each other apart. That made the whole thing so much worse. </p> <p>Spend as much time with your mom as you can right now. I literally moved cities to be back home after my mom's first diagnosis, even after she went into remission. I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is not spending even more time with her when they said she was terminal (doctors told us she'd have 6 months and we got 3 weeks). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765881 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 10:07:55 +0000 periwinklebee 2765881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so, so sorry :heart: </p> <p>This is maybe a bit idiosyncratic, but I've found acupuncture helpful in processing grief. I went to a group place where they put in the needles at the beginning and then let you relax in these big comfty recliners for as long as you want undisturbed. For me, it was a quiet time where I cold lay still and process my feelings. I think it's similar to meditation, but I somehow found it more calming. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765823 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 05:39:23 +0000 Ajsmommy 2765823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you're family is going through this. I just wanted to chime in and agree w pp's about starting therapy asap. We lost my dad to cancer and my whole family didn't deal with it au at all. We basically lived in denial. Then when we lost him it was like a fog. It seriously affected a few members in a very bad way. Looking back I wish we'd gotten therapy!!! Not that it would have made it great or anything but it would have helped us all deal with the emotions and loss/grief </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765821 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 04:22:45 +0000 lamariniere 2765821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would definitely recommend therapy. Additionally, if you aren't the praying type, mindfulness/meditation can really help with anxiety. It definitely helped me a few years ago when I was going through a very anxious stage. I used an app called Headspace that guided me through mindfulness sessions, but there are a number of apps out there. I'm not nearly as anxious as I was then, but when I start feeling the anxiety creep in, I recall back to the meditation techniques and they can really help me find my sense of calm again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765818 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 02:10:08 +0000 MaryM 2765818@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second therapy, and sooner rather than later. </p> <p>I hope your mom has a better prognosis. But my dad had brain cancer (one of the "worst" kinds) and most of my family was in therapy when he was sick. I think going before he died made grieving easier when we did lose him. And it helped us deal with the entire journey better. </p> <p>Meds made it slightly easier to function, but therapy made it a lot easier to actually deal with the emotions </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765814 Tue, 08 Aug 2017 00:11:45 +0000 Coral 2765814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dahlia: I'm so so sorry. My mom was diagnosed with cancer almost exactly a year ago. I teetered between being in denial and an anxious mess. I, too, deal with anxiety and have been on Zoloft for nearly my whole adult life.<br /> I recently saw my therapist and was sharing an unrelated fear I have about the future. She told me it's ok to feel these feelings of worry, sadness, etc but that's it's "not ok" to come up with a narrative for it because we simply have no idea what will happen. I found that spending time with my mom and focusing on small goals (finishing chemo, etc) to be the most cathartic.<br /> Not sure of your religious/spiritual beliefs, but I also agree with<br /> @808love: that prayer got me through some really tough times.<br /> Once again, I'm really sorry. :heart: :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765812 Mon, 07 Aug 2017 23:38:52 +0000 808love 2765812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry!!That is unbearably painful to experience. To deal with anxiety and get strength in dark times, I pray, pray and pray some more. It is powerful, hopeful and healing...and nothing else comes close, for me. I am sure you will hug everyone tight every chance you get. Reading up and getting information, going to the appts. and being a listening ear to your mom can get you moving. Be available and present in every way possible. HUGS :crying: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-grief-and-anxiety#post-2765810 Mon, 07 Aug 2017 23:23:20 +0000 Dahlia 2765810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What do you do to manage grief and anxiety? My mom was just diagnosed with cancer, and I'm a mess. I'm already on Zoloft for anxiety. Would like to hear about any strategies you might have for other ways to manage anxiety and deal with grief (I'm especially upset that she might not be around to see DD grow up). Thank you. </p>