https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 17:15:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865440 Mon, 07 Jan 2019 15:41:02 +0000 alphagam84 2865440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We keep spare car seats at my parents house as well for when we travel down there. The infant one expires soon and I mentioned to my parents I would need to get a new one for our next visit (I buy it from Amazon and ship to them) and my dad did not believe me the car seat would expire. He was like "what expires? how can it be fine one month and expired the next month?". He acted like it was all a scam. I was so annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865300 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 20:34:22 +0000 pachamama 2865300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: my mom does this too. She gets him to do whatever (get dressed, get in the car, etc) by giving him a jelly bean. He doesn't pull that crap with me so it's not a huge deal but I like really, did you forget how to parent?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865212 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 10:18:43 +0000 LadyDi 2865212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom gives DS1 sweets all of the time when I ask her not to, or she doesn't check with me and he'll follow her into the kitchen and she'll give him fudge or cookies or whatever. It drives me nuts. This summer we were on vacation together and one of her friends brought a container of chocolate covered raisins. I told her to only let him have a few, but when I went outside to check on him he was literally eating them by the fistful while my mom laughed and encouraged him. I was so furious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865202 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 09:15:40 +0000 Foodnerd81 2865202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: I don’t sneak- I blatantly double check. I do it for DH sometimes too. Whatever. I’d rather offend than have my kid not properly secured. If I have a problem with the way DH did something I show him too. I also just say car seats are my crazy area and humor me even if you don’t agree- I’m not strict about screen time or sweets, but this is my area that I am strict. Since my three siblings have different areas where they are “crazy” it works out with my parents. They also say things like “oh your nephew was just in the seatbelt and a thing underneath him when he was 3” to which i respond “well, recommendations have changed in recent years so maybe they changed since he was 3... but also he was in that seat too soon. And it’s called a backless booster.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865198 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 08:53:01 +0000 Becky 2865198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Car seat issues drive me INSANE. I literally sneak into my parents and MIL car to tighten them. They are just flying all over the place otherwise. My mom is also super snippy about jackets in cars. She basically thinks my kids will freeze if not I’m huge puffer coats. My mom also made comments to my older daughter last year that my younger daughter would surely be FF when we went on vacation—when she was just barely 2 🤦‍♀️ I’ve always been able to get a reasonably good install after a good video search—did you try that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865187 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 07:56:31 +0000 wrkbrk 2865187@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: Aww I’m sorry mama! How frustrating!! This is very common grandparent behavior 🙄 My mom brings C junior mints when we meet her out for breakfast. ??!! I think they just want to be liked... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865183 Sun, 06 Jan 2019 06:26:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2865183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Umm, I feel like I need to turn LO’s car seat back around. @Jess1483: I knew RF til 2 was best, but hadn’t heard of internal decapitation as to why. Thank you; just Googled. LO is 2.75 yrs old and about 32-33 lbs. He’s likely going to revolt and I’ll just have to play up being careful and safe- two things we discuss regularly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865174 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 22:52:27 +0000 periwinklebee 2865174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Iced Tea: this sounds like the visit from hell, wow, that's awful... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865173 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 22:51:34 +0000 periwinklebee 2865173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: My MIL is very negative on breastfeeding. DH repeatedly told her to shut up about it at the hospital, but since then I just let it go in one ear and out the other. If we have a second though I honestly don't want her there commenting non-stop on the breastfeeding again when I'm breastfeeding around the clock in those early days, though we may not have a choice if we need her for logistical purposes to watch LO1. </p> <p>Thankfully never had any comments about car seats. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865164 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 21:37:24 +0000 Iced Tea 2865164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents aren’t living, but I have grandparents who are a trip. We only live 1.25 hours away, but we haven’t visited them in their house in a year because, despite my reminders before each visit, they couldn’t remember to 1. put all their guns and knives away 2. Lock the gun cabinet and 3. Remove the key from the cabinet. They aren’t even right in the head 100% of the time, so it is beyond my understanding why they should even be allowed to own any. Then there are the dozen medication bottles with caps turned upside down, stored on the coffee table of all places. I brought it up every time, and they never moved them, even temporarily. A visit to their house was always so anxiety provoking for me. Now that I have two mobile kids, I simply cannot visit because I can’t physically keep them both in arms reach at all times. I wish it wasn’t this way, but here we are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865158 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 21:21:49 +0000 peaches1038 2865158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you all for responding and sharing in my misery! I was pretty cranky today and DS hugged me and said “I just want you to be happy mama, please be happy”. So I’m getting myself together and will continue to set boundaries with them but not let them ruin my day or our trip together. Hearing all your stories definitely makes me feel better. Solidarity mamas!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865144 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 20:28:20 +0000 pachamama 2865144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@peaches1038: ugh. Definitely been there with the car seat thing. My mother would watch my son 2 days a week and didn't know THE STRAPS TIGHTEN. she would make them relatively tight and just try to squeeze him in. Ridiculous.<br /> Her house is a death trap. Medications (closed but still), stairs, glass, fireplaces, literally an old dagger we found in a cabinet (?). But my son is not a "getting into shit" kind of kid. We never babyproofed, just kept a close eye on him. It seemed to help him respect space and danger. Or maybe we just got lucky. But I have relaxed about certain things. There's only so much you can do and parents are so absurdly stubborn and clueless. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865137 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 19:09:04 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2865137@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: absolutely. I immediately shut it down by snapping he was overtired/hungry because his schedule was all over the place because we were travelling, and that he would settle (which he did right on cue) She would never say it to DW thankfully. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865131 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 18:07:29 +0000 MrsBucky 2865131@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first is just ignorant but I’d just insist and let them think what they want. I had a similar experience with my dad and just said “once you’ve done the research on safety I’d be glad to discuss this with you. Until then, I’m done discussing it.” For the second, oh hell fucking no. No one is allowed to undermine me in front of my children. Period. I’d honestly sit them down after my kid goes to bed and say “you are welcome to disagree with my parenting decisions, but if you’d like us to visit, I need you to commit to not ever undermining me in front of my kid again. Can you do that?” I feel strongly enough about it that is honestly be prepared to leave and stay in a hotel if they didn’t apologize and agree not to do it again. I know that’s a bit nuclear, and I’m ok with extra treats and bent rules when grandparents are babysitting (because it’s so rare) but downright ignoring a limit I’ve set is not ok at all. I’m lucky neither my parents nor my in laws have done that, but if they did I would 100% call them out and be prepared to draw a firm boundary with them over that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865130 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 18:04:35 +0000 ElbieKay 2865130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: when I have an active nursing relationship with a baby, I basically refuse to tolerate any unsupportive comments. I shut them down. Breastfeeding is hard enough without criticism. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865123 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 16:29:42 +0000 Jess1483 2865123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sent my mom a video or article about internal decapitation when my parents wouldn't stop harping on rear-facing. She apologized and stopped asking ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865121 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 16:22:41 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2865121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs asked about DS's weight. We don't have a scale, so we let them know what it was at his 4 yr check up. We asked why and they want to know if he can be moved into a booster seat. Our response was when he is more mature. Technically, he fits booster seat requirements, but we're not ready. He falls asleep in the car and leans forward. I don't trust him to be in a booster seat yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865114 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 15:39:29 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2865114@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely been there with the car seat issue. They have NO CLUE because it just wasn’t a thing in their generation. My mom gave it up about the rear facing thing when I told her to go look at crash test videos to prove rear facing is safer :silly: I go over installation and putting my son in the seat every time I have DS1 travel with my parents or in laws and I don’t care if they roll their eyes. It’s either that or he doesn’t get to go in the car with them. My grandma still says oh poor baby has to look at the seat the whole way. But she also thinks I should put cereal in our 4 month olds bottle, asleep on stomach, breastfeeding is weird, etc. so I ignore that. </p> <p>Over the holidays my parents were pretty good but my mom did make a comment that maybe we should switch to bottles when DS2 was giving DW a hard time during a nursing session. She thinks breastfeeding is ridiculous because she FF both my brother and I :meh: They also seem to think that when I was a baby, I just stayed awake all day and then slept all night through. They constantly make comments that DS2 (4 months) doesn’t look that tired and we’re taking him away from the fun and whatever when we need to have him take 4 naps during the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865112 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 15:29:29 +0000 Foodnerd81 2865112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. I find a lot of grandparents totally don’t get car seats. I mean, that seat they bought installed terribly was probably safer than when my DH slept laying across the back seat with a pillow to keep him from falling off as a baby. My parents don’t really get it but they don’t give me grief about it and follow whatever I say when it comes to my kids. The cookie thing is just totally obnoxious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-my-parents-vent#post-2865107 Sat, 05 Jan 2019 14:57:41 +0000 peaches1038 2865107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m visiting my parents this week who are generally pretty great but they do question and undermine me. Example 1: I still have DS rearfacing at just over 3 yo. He weighs 35 lbs so he is well within the limits. My dad says stuff all the time about how uncomfortable he must be or how we are preventing him from seeing while we are driving (like what?! That one doesn’t even make sense but whatever). Well this trip, I didn’t bring my car seat bc I am traveling solo with my son as DH had a work thing and had to stay behind last minute. So my parents graciously bought a car seat but when they installed it, it literally moved at least 7 inches side to side. I refused to let my son ride in it like that and spent an hour (with my engineer brother in law) trying to fix it with no luck. Meanwhile my mother is saying “it’s fine, I’ll just lean into it and hold it steady. “ ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Like WTF?! So I went and bought a new one and now they are all huffy that I’m being dramatic and an overbearing mother. Example 2: DS asked for a cookie and I told him no and my dad told me shut up (in a “joking” tone, but still) and gave it to him anyway. I was so dumbfounded I didn’t even know what to say. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. We haven’t even been here 24 HOURS 😫😫😫</p> <p>I’m sure you all have stories like this too so join me in venting!!! </p>