https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 18 May 2026 13:05:55 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827772 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 20:05:59 +0000 Becky 2827772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I’m in the same boat. I love when people just pop by (especially because t helps pass the time in the evenings) and it seems like most of my neighbors don’t mind either (when I was wary of it at first I got a lot of “No seriously, stop being weird and just come hang out” kind of responses). If they’re new to the neighborhood they’re probably trying to make friends. Coming from someone who is probably doing the interrupting I like the suggested response from @mrsbucky. Or next time you’re hanging out and about to leave you could just say something like “Just shoot me a text next time you guys want to come over.” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827760 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 19:25:19 +0000 Jennibenni 2827760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: I agree, I would find it super strange to have the kid show up with a mother’s helper. It just seems odd. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827751 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 18:21:29 +0000 Alba4 2827751@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hellobeeboston: Yea, I plan to be super clear next time I see the mom. My kids aren’t really old enough to play outside alone yet... so there’s that. Also Mom coming to play and chat is one thing it’s another thing to send a mother’s helper. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827671 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 11:56:52 +0000 kiddosc 2827671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: I agree. Our neighborhood works in a pretty similar way. If someone is outside, it's pretty much fair game to let the kids play together or drop in and chat for a bit. There are kids ringing our doorbell everyday to see if our kids can play, and I love the opportunity for the kids to play and entertain themselves without me. </p> <p>If it's not a good time, we just say so. If it's a meal time, we just send all the extra people home. I don't actually think it would be very practical to keep trying to only have the kids play together on a scheduled basis. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827663 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 11:45:13 +0000 hellobeeboston 2827663@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2PeasinaPod: same! this is how we play too...</p> <p>@Alba4: I feel like maybe they should be getting the hint not to do the "pop in" but like others said, just be clear and say planning ahead works better for you guys. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827619 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 10:07:01 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2827619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awe, this makes me really sad. Our boys play outside and when they see our neighbors, they run over to see what they're up to. Or, if they want to play baseball or something, we'll walk up to knock on their door to see if they're around to play, and they'll do the same with us. It's how I played as a child, and I didn't realize others thought it was annoying. It's ok if you can't or don't want to...just decline. But you can't expect people to read your mind and know that we're annoying you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827571 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 08:15:47 +0000 Mrs D 2827571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Agree with everything @birdofafeather: and others have said. We also function well as a "just dropping by" family, the girls love it, but I get that it doesnt work for everyone - including us some times.</p> <p>One of my fave neighbor families is very laid back and casual about things. They stopped by one night when we had just sat down to dinner and it just wrecked everything. She and I chatted and I explained that the minute they stopped by it was down hill from there, tantrums, not eating, etc...She totally understood - we now have a firm "text first" if its near dinner time. And its been no issue....all it took was a 5 minute conversation...</p> <p>I vote for being upfront and it will work better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827559 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 07:28:50 +0000 MaryM 2827559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with talking to them about it and/or establishing a sign that you're home and open to visitors. </p> <p>Most houses in our neighborhood don't have windows that face the street. Only our guest rooms do. So a lot of people leave their garage doors up when they're home as a sort of "Hey, we're home. Ring the doorbell" sign to others that might be walking by. If garage doors are closed, we assume people aren't home or don't want to be bothered. I'd try establishing something like that or just be sure you clearly let them know to text or call first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827552 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:54:19 +0000 birdofafeather 2827552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we're a family that likes to drop by (and have always had an open invite for others) but i've figured out who wants to be bothered and who wants the heads up by people being clear about expectations! so i would say, be clear that you'd like a heads up! i would never think it's annoying to drop by, but i also don't have a problem saying that a time doesn't work for us or come back at another time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827549 Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:40:42 +0000 Littlebit7 2827549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: yeah I agree with this. If you keep saying no, instead of saying why you are declining, they are just going to think you guys are jerks (which you aren’t). It might be a little more uncomfortable to explain, but I think it will work better in the long run and foster a better relationship between your two families. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827537 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 21:15:06 +0000 ElbieKay 2827537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have to just ask them to check first. You are not being fair by expecting them to read your mind. Tell them that you really enjoy spending time together but you would like advance notice, even if it's a same-day txt, before stopping by.</p> <p>If you are not clear up front then you will never have a good relationship with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827535 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 20:36:17 +0000 MrsBucky 2827535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Id just be honest and say “we love seeing you guys but itnworks better for us if you text first or we make plans a head of time!” Continuing to be firm is fine, but might not be as clear as explicitly asking for a plan or a text ahead of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827529 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 20:07:01 +0000 Hypatia 2827529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If the above advice doesn't work (unfortunately, it really doesn't with some people) tell them that they can either text to ask OR if they happen to be walking by (yeah, whatever), you will place a sign on the door if your kids are free to play--but if it isn't there, they aren't free and please don't disturb them during dinner/homework/family time by knocking. It could be a little sign from Etsy or some sort of ribbon, or just a piece of paper with a handwritten note, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827523 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 19:40:35 +0000 erinbaderin 2827523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think keep doing what you’re doing, and maybe keep throwing in “it’s really better if you text first to see if we’re free!” </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-neighbors#post-2827517 Sun, 10 Jun 2018 19:13:29 +0000 Alba4 2827517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have new neighbors that are very friendly but keep doing things that annoy us. We’ve had scheduled play dates and picnic dinners before and we really enjoy that. What bothers us most is that twice recently they have sent a mother’s helper,who is 14, down to our house with their 3 year old daughter to see if our boys wanted to play without texting first. </p> <p>The first time I was annoyed, but let them stay for about 25 minutes before fibbing and saying we were about to start dinner. The second time we just said that the boys couldn’t play and we basically sent them back home.</p> <p>Tonight the mom and daughter stopped by to say hi at 6 PM (on a Sunday). We were literally sitting down for dinner. We were polite but said firmly that we were eating our family dinner and they left. </p> <p>We are getting a swingset installed next week and I fear that they are going to be asking themselves over often or just “dropping by”. My husband and I plan to be really firm and strict with boundaries, since this family isn’t really “getting” us. I like to hang out with them, but I really prefer a planned time and a courtesy text. We both work and like our routines as it helps us manage our very active boys. </p> <p>Does anyone have experience with these types of situations or any further advice? </p>