https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 05:23:22 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786419 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 16:50:50 +0000 periwinklebee 2786419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so glad that people have been supportive so far, but am sorry about your sister. I know a lot of bees here have had similar issues with siblings, I hope it doesn't put too much of a damper on the holiday :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786370 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 12:34:53 +0000 karenbme 2786370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: Thanks :heart: </p> <p>@LCTBQE: Thanks, I've been trying to let myself off the hook for some things. It feels crappy to skip a trip I go on every year, but no one wants to travel with a weepy mess.</p> <p>@bhbee: Thanks for the tip. I'm not sure when I'm going to be ready to put myself out there again, but I'll definitely check it out.</p> <p>@skinnycow: Thanks, and hugs back to you. Also, you're not irrationally angry/sad, you are 100% reasonable in your anger and sadness, the scope of your emotions are proportionate to the scope of the tragedy we're going through.</p> <p>@periwinklebee: I'm so sorry you had to deal with those sorts of responses. I haven't told many people so far, but thankfully all have been really supportive and not tried to find reasons for things that sometimes don't have reasons. I know that the friend with my due date would/will be supportive if/when I tell her. I don't know what I'm going to do about Thanksgiving. I'm sure my older sister will say something along the lines of "This one wasn't meant to be, I'm sure you'll have another," and move on, but I want to tell my other siblings and my Dad and Stepmom already know so it's going to be out there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786333 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 11:44:10 +0000 periwinklebee 2786333@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: Ugh... this is a big part of the reason my mom doesn't know about my miscarriages. It's amazing to me how many people still think that if a woman has a loss, she's done something wrong, usually being too career driven or stressed about TTC or whatever....I had a loss that resulted from two sperm fertilizing the same egg, which is by definition a random event (they just happened to get there at exactly the same time) - so explain to me how I caused that? Agreed, insanely condescending and false... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786315 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 10:39:16 +0000 LCTBQE 2786315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: DAMNNN re without a pause back to the Your Friend show, ugh ugh ugh. I also had a number of people (particularly my mother) insist that "stress" is what was causing the miscarriages and I should "just calm down". Is there a suggestion that exists more condescending and patently false: no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786304 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 10:13:18 +0000 periwinklebee 2786304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry :heart: Been there and know it really sucks. </p> <p>I think your feelings are totally normal, and you're handling it the right way, being polite when interacting but doing whatever it takes to shield your well-being, even if it means not hanging out with people for awhile. Sometimes the reminders of what is lost just sting too much... </p> <p>I had a friend with exactly my due date, when I told her what had happened she was really understanding and gave me all the space I needed. I had other friends that were insensitive to my loss, not because they are insensitive people in general but just because they hadn't had that experience and hadn't stopped to think what it would be like. I had a later first tri loss, followed by an earlier loss at 5 weeks. When I told a friend (who has kids and is pretty oblivious that people might have issues with TTC) about the earlier loss, when it was still really raw, her reaction was "oh, I wouldn't have known I was pregnant", and then w/o a pause continuing to talk about her life. One of my DH's friends suggested I had a loss because I have a stressful job. Anyways, just to say opening up and sharing can be very helpful when your friends understand why you need to retreat a bit, but also can lead to some insensitive remarks when you're most vulnerable, so not sure where I stand overall on sharing... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786302 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 10:08:57 +0000 skinnycow 2786302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I'm so sorry. It really, really sucks. I have no advice as I'm still only two weeks out and still irrationally angry/sad. I second joining the TTC after loss thread - it's a good place to vent :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786297 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 09:41:22 +0000 Pollywog 2786297@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I am so sorry. Have you told them? Either directly or indirectly? I went through two losses and I have found being a little open to those close to me really helped. People stopped asking and were so supportive when we finally got pregnant and were so understanding when I wanted to out out of activities </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786296 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 09:41:14 +0000 bhbee 2786296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I’m so sorry. It just sucks. We have a great group on our ttc after loss board if you need a place to vent or get support as you’re dealing with this! Hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786294 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 09:36:31 +0000 LCTBQE 2786294@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I've been there on both sides. I remember my SIL telling me breathlessly that she was pregnant when she *knew* I had just (literally, days before) had my second miscarriage in a row. We generally have a good relationship, but no mention on her part that it was a difficult thing, not done with sensitivity. I was totally wooden during the conversation and got off the phone and just cried and cried. That feeling that someone else has something that belongs to YOU is very real. Yet, my SIL's pregnancy was indeed hers to enjoy, as is your friends. You don't have to be happy for her if you don't really feel it right this second, it doesn't make you a bad person. And I think it's great that you're protecting yourself by not going on a trip you anticipate being painful. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Sounds trite but it's the best thing you can do :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786291 Tue, 14 Nov 2017 09:26:45 +0000 MrsBucky 2786291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@karenbme: I’m so sorry for your loss. What a crappy situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2786228 Mon, 13 Nov 2017 21:44:39 +0000 karenbme 2786228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Bumping this post because I'm currently in the MC process, and it feels like everyone is announcing. A friend with nearly the same due date as me announced in group chat the day after we found out our baby had likely died in utero, and the talk eventually came back to when DH and I were going to have kids. Thank god it was group chat and not face to face because I 100% broke down, and pulled out of a group trip in Feb because I don't think I can deal with a week of watching her have the pregnancy I so wanted. I know time will make it easier than it is now, and I am happy for friends, but it STINGS. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670607 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 15:11:15 +0000 Alba4 2670607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had MC, DS1, MC, DS2 and inbetween the miscarriages and viable pregnancies, hearing any announcement always stung. I remember my BF announced her pregnancy a few weeks after my first miscarriage, and I was silently crying on the phone. I was so happy for her, but it was so hard to share in the joy while I was lost in doubt and fear. I'm sorry for your loss. Your reaction is totally normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670587 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 14:43:28 +0000 Mrs. Washi Tape 2670587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have had three losses and it took four years for us to get a sticky baby. Since then we have had two babies but during that time pregnancy announcements were so hard. I wanted to be happy for others but every time I couldn't wait to get away so I could cry in peace. </p> <p>At the time I felt bad that I couldn't be happy for other people, but now I can see that it is just OK to feel how you feel. It is really hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670565 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 13:48:48 +0000 Banana330 2670565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had two MC's before we had my DD. The second was twins due around the same time as a good friend. I found her delivery hard, but I still cry when friends (or strangers) announce twins. I found just saying congratulations and finding some space to deal with my reaction the best thing for me. I'm three years from my first one (almost to the day) and just found out I'm pregnant again. I feel all the anxiety rushing back. I don't think loss ever leaves you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670551 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 13:03:06 +0000 winniebee 2670551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry :( It is really hard. I'm 13 weeks pregnant now and pregnancy announcements still kill me a little bit. Since we lost our last pregnancy at 18 weeks, I don't think we'll ever feel confident enough to "announce" this pregnancy. Right now, I just mutter something awkward and am still terrified for anyone to know. Pregnancy innocence has been taken away from me and I am very jealous of those who get to 12 weeks and get to announce in a carefree kind of way. </p> <p>I hope you have your healthy pregnancy and get to take home a baby very soon :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670547 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 12:56:50 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2670547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been three years since my miscarriage and I still have a hard time with announcements. And, I have a 2yo so I've even had a successful pregnancy since then! This year we just started trying and the christmas announcements were driving me crazy. When it was fresh to me, even celebrity announcements bothered me. So I feel your pain, and I think just hang in there and be kind to yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dealing-with-pregnancy-announcements-after-loss#post-2670544 Tue, 27 Dec 2016 12:51:47 +0000 mrskansas 2670544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi ladies - for other loss mamas, how do you deal with pregnancy announcements from friends/family? I had a miscarriage around 3 weeks ago and was due in July. This morning a good friend of ours was over and said "oh by the way (wife's name) is knocked up and due in July".<br /> I am very happy for them but it took everything in me not to cry right there. I am really surprised by how difficult the miscarriage has been because I had an ectopic in October and didn't feel nearly as many emotions.</p> <p>Oh and Christmas doesn't help because everyone and their dog is announcing a pregnancy. </p>