https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 22:12:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140464 Sat, 11 Apr 2015 06:30:18 +0000 matador84 2140464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up loosely going to church but it wasn't until around the time I was married, slightly before I started wanting to get involved in the church again. I had to do some church shopping to find a parish that was right for me. I sort of feel like Goldilocks...one was too liberal, one too conservative and then I found a Catholic Parish that was just right. I ended up becoming a member of the parish and have enjoyed and found comfort in it so much. Best of luck to you whatever you decide! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140393 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 22:04:30 +0000 charlotte 2140393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very interesting topic and close to my heart at the moment. I've enjoyed everyone's thoughtful discussions. I was raised Protestant in a great, welcoming, "celebrate and share Gods unconditional love" church. Then I decided to do RCIA and convert when I married my husband. At first I loved it...pre kids when we went regularly and belonged to a great parish with very positive and welcoming priests. </p> <p>Now we are in a new city with a 2 yr old and baby 2 due in the fall and have a hard time getting there and I feel ....like I miss church but am also resentful of the "rules" that say now I'm out of good standing or whatever. I feel bad for not going to mass every week and truly WANT to go but it's just not always doable right now and it feels like Catholicism says that makes me a terrible person unless I go to confession etc etc. It's honestly made me more anxious and worried, like "what if I die tomorrow and I'be committed all of these "sins""?! Then I read things from non Catholic friends on Easter about how the whole point of Jesus' death was our salvation and I wish I could go back to getting strength and peace from faith instead of guilt and worry. </p> <p>Agh. Those are really problems with me and not the religion I guess but I do worry about my son growing up with "catholic guilt". My husband still thinks when bad things happen that it's some sort of payback for something he's done wrong in the past. It's awful!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140377 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 21:30:46 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2140377@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: nicely said. I grew up in a Parish that was social justice oriented, so I really had no other point of reference... Though now my home parish is über conservative, but what would you expect from the main cathedral in the state? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140373 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 21:26:06 +0000 jedeve 2140373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: on the issue of salvation, you won't really ever hear Catholics say a defenitive "yes, this is what happens." The church has moved away from the interpretation that baptism was necessary for an infant to go to heaven, to it being a rite of initiation into the church. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140371 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 21:23:34 +0000 jedeve 2140371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a practicing Catholic, so take this for what you will. :wink: </p> <p>I believe being catholic is like any relationship. It waxes and wanes. Some days I feel it, some days I go through the motions, other days I feel God. I doubt, and I love that it's a religion where doubt and mystery is part of the framework. I've had a different experience than many Catholics, since I had liberal parents and have lately gone to Jesuit parishes. The Catholics I know and am friends with are the ones actively campaigning for LGBT rights, working with the poor, etc. it baffles and saddens me that there are so many who haven't had this experience. But it is true - sometimes we really suck as a community. Like in my church, there is nothing for young families. I want to do a potluck or something, because there is just nothing. And mass with a toddler is just f-ing hard, and I don't get much out of it. </p> <p>So yeah, I'm going through the motions half the time right now. But I know it's where my home is, and because of that. I will accept all the doubts and struggles to create a more perfect home. </p> <p>We are getting LO2 baptized this weekend. I'm excited to welcome into our faith, to bring him into what I feel is our home. It could be a much better home. But I think it's structurally sound - just needs some spring cleaning. </p> <p>If it's not where you are finding your home right now, I get it. I don't think you have to decide. That's the best part about a home - you can come and go and return when you need it or when you want to. </p> <p>Good luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140370 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 21:15:09 +0000 futuremama 2140370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also could've written your post. We've decided, after being raised and married in the Church, not to baptize dd. My IL's took it rough at first, but we explained to them that they are more than welcome to explain their faith to her. We want her to understand that people have different beliefs, and that's ok. After a few weeks of processing, they have accepted it, and the topic hasn't been mentioned since. I think they worried that we made the decision hastily, and we explained our stance. We consider ourselves agnostic. Once they realized that it was a thoughtful decision, things were much better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140356 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 20:57:16 +0000 honeybear 2140356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: Fair enough. The document I linked notes that the Magisterium had essentially discarded the notion of even limbo by Vatican II, and that started in 1962. I think your friend is incorrect. If one believes that God is merciful and wants the salvation of all people (and Catholics do believe this), there isn't any other conclusion to be drawn from the statement that the eternal lives of unbaptized infants are "entrusted to God's mercy" than that they will be spent with God in heaven. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140326 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 20:29:21 +0000 ShootingStar 2140326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@honeybear: I think that's a fairly updated view, and that's why I referred to the "traditional" view. When I was researching, I did read that the Pope at the time had revisited the topic, but left it kind of vague and said that it was a decision left to God. Which to me isn't a resounding "Infants go to heaven in all cases". Believe me, there's many Catholics that still take the traditional view. Including a very good friend of mine, who when I asked her about this, said "Oh yes, the devil is in all babies, so they must cry during the baptism so you know he's gone". I figured we'd just disagree on that one, lol. </p> <p>And I don't want to start a religious debate. I did do some research on the topic and what I found didn't sit well with my personal beliefs, that's all :). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140275 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:59:21 +0000 honeybear 2140275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: I think you have been misinformed about Catholic theology regarding unbaptized infants. The church does not teach that unbaptized infants go to hell because they have not been washed clean of Original Sin. </p> <p>This text might interest you: <a href="http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/cti_documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20070419_un-baptised-infants_en.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/cti_documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20070419_un-baptised-infants_en.html</a></p> <p>Specifically, this part: "the Catechism teaches that infants who die without baptism are entrusted by the Church to the mercy of God." I recognize that trusting in the mercy of God is not possible if one does not believe that God exists, but for those who do believe in a merciful God, it is inconceivable that infants would not be welcomed into heaven with open arms, regardless of their baptismal status. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140268 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:56:03 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 2140268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Contrarian here-<br /> Family was very Catholic for most of my life. When they went to a more conservative church, I peeled off and bagged it all. I toyed with some other traditions from Buddhism to Judiasm. Now in my 40's I recognize that my family has been Catholic as far back as I can trace every single part of my family tree (well and crypto Sephardic, but they ultimately ended up Catholic) I felt sort of like it was my culture... And religion and culture are really just two sides of the same coin.</p> <p>Another factor was that we live in a part of the world with a dominant religion. We wanted our kids to be familiar with religious traditions and to have one that they could say that they belong to. </p> <p>So after all that, we will get all three kids baptized when adoption is finalized. How involved we are after that remains to be seen, but being in my 40's has given me new perspective on religion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140197 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 18:57:14 +0000 ShootingStar 2140197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up as an atheist and DH grew up Catholic. Over the last several years he's very much moved away from the Catholic mindset. But there was a time when baptism was a subject of much debate for us. Personally, I am not ok with Catholic baptism. The traditional Catholic belief is in Original Sin, and the belief that babies need to be baptized in order to not go to hell, if they were to die as infants. This goes against everything that I believe in and I just wasn't on board with it. I believe there's nothing more innocent than a baby and I wasn't going to stand up in front of people saying otherwise, or saying that I'd raise him Catholic.</p> <p>Luckily, by the time DS was born DH and I were on the same page. I was a little concerned that his family might bring it up, but honestly I have no interest in doing something that goes against my beliefs in order to make someone else happy. </p> <p>We're going to raise our son according to what we believe. And if some of it goes against what the grandparents want, then that's just going to have to be too bad for them. I'm sure religion won't be the only thing that we disagree about when it comes to parenting. And that's fine, they can have their own opinions. But they've already raised their children and they can't raise mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140171 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 18:25:46 +0000 Applesandbananas 2140171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would still baptize him. If it's incredibly important to your family, I think that should be considered. Maybe ask them why they're pushing for baptism and explain your thoughts and concerns. I don't think baptism prevents you from exposing him to other religions or teaching him to be loving, inclusive, and respectful. But, I'm just a random person on the internet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140139 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 17:21:03 +0000 hellobeeboston 2140139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: i probably could have written your same post... Me &amp; Dh were both raised catholic, did the whole communion/confirmation/sunday school thing....DHs parents are VERY catholic - and they have voiced their unhappiness about our non-catholic wedding and choice not to baptize, but they're mostly over it. We thought long and hard about whether or not to baptize our son in the Catholic church, but ended up really deciding Catholicism was something we'd rather he AVOID than partake in personally... We are still considering alternate churches/religions, we like Unitarian Universalist since they incorporate so much, but haven't found a church locally we love - but we would like our son to have some kind of spiritual/religious side to his upbringing... still trying to work it out ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140129 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 17:09:47 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2140129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand how you are feeling. I was raised catholic, and had all my sacraments as well as attending catholic school from 7th grade through college. My high school was the last time I was really active in the church, in terms of attending mass and practicing. I have felt less and less connected to it, and occasionally would attend mass with my grandmother, and never get anything out of it. I honestly don't even want to, I like the cultural aspect of it, but don't identify with most of the social teachings and core beliefs, aside from charity and general moral decency. Too much discrimination, too. Having a child has temporarily made me reconsider, and I kind of want to get him baptized so my grandmother can see that happen, but not enough to actually do it. I just hope to raise him as a good person and teach him right from wrong. I also really hope I can instill a sense of social justice in him. Honestly, I don't see those things as seeming to important to most devout Catholics I know anyways. I suppose it will be an ongoing process. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140115 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 16:41:14 +0000 Cole 2140115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: I feel culturally Catholic but I am honestly not sure I believe in a higher power. My family has been in the US for so long that most of our family traditions are tied to religion and mass marketing as opposed to cultural heritage. I find mass comforting because of the ritual but not spiritually fulfilling. When my father was dying we discussed what to do about his funeral since he felt the same way as me and ultimately decided to do a Catholic service. It felt like... home? That's how all the funerals have been so had we done something else it would have felt foreign. I guess just something to think about. </p> <p>No one has pressured us to baptize our lo but I think if my grandparents were still alive we would consider it if only to carry on tradition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140095 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 16:02:41 +0000 catlady 2140095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was born Catholic and went through baptism, communion, and confirmation. My parents were not church goers but we went through the motions of getting me and my brother confirmed to satisfy my grandparents (my father had also had to convert to marry my mother). I never felt like I was a part of the church and resented it growing up. The last straw for me was when my parents told me that I could choose whether or not to get confirmed, and when I choose not to, they back-tracked and forced me to go through with it.</p> <p>DH was also raised Catholic but does not practice, and we specifically chose to have a secular wedding and to not baptize our LO. Even though everyone threatened me that my grandmother would basically die if I did not get confirmed, no one has said a peep about LO not being baptized. I'm not sure why things changed in my family, but I feel lucky not to have to worry about it.</p> <p>We've thought about having secular "godparents" for LO, but we haven't gone through with it because we don't want to draw attention to the fact that LO is not baptized! But that could be an option. </p> <p>We've also talked about potentially joining a church that we feel more in line with in the future, and I think we decided that Unitarian Universalists would be a good fit, but so far, we haven't joined a congregation. I know some families are less offended by a different christian religion than by no religion at all, so we sort of kept that one in our back pocket in case of conflict. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140056 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 15:06:13 +0000 deerylou 2140056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I both grew up Catholic. Coming from Irish and Italian families, it was very much a part of our culture and traditions. My parents are now non-practicing, while his remain very involved and somewhat devout. </p> <p>Both of us strayed from the Church as young adults, mainly in opposition of their positions on some key social issues. We were married by his (Catholic) father in a secular ceremony and were totally undecided about baptizing DD, when she was born. My in-laws inquired and suggested it a few times, but never really pressured. However, it is obvious that they would prefer we have a baptism. My folks are totally supportive, either way. </p> <p>After a ton of thought and soul searching, we joined an Episcopal Church. Much of the same feel and formalities, but we personally find it much more forward thinking, and incredibly liberal, in comparison. We were drawn to their sense of service, as well as their advocacy and support of female and LGTBQ clergy. DD is 21 months, and will be baptized around her second birthday. This was the compromise for us. We had to feel connected and passionate about our church and denomination, and not feel as if we were hiding our beliefs and putting on a show in regards to who we truly were and what we stood for. Otherwise, it would have been a wash and felt totally inauthentic.</p> <p>You have to do what's right for you, and not what will appease others. You'll figure it out. Best of luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2140031 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:51:42 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2140031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: hmmmm I don't even know if I identify with being Christian anymore, I guess is how I feel. Like I don't feel that I have much of a belief system...</p> <p>Oh, obviously churches are very accepting of families like ours, since all the people we adopted with were very Christian. We had not prayed for our child to be matched with us, nor had we been guided by faith to adoption, so we were very much the odd ones out. So that reinforced the feeling that I'm not really identifying much with religion anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139968 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:59:40 +0000 Mrs. Lion 2139968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: My dad grew up catholic but has identified as athiest his entire adult life. He agreed to baptize us in the church for the sake of my grandparents when my brother and I were babies. I think it made them happy and he didn't care one way or another. It didn't affect us growing up at all. My mom was agnostic and always said she would take us to any church we wanted to go to if we were interested, and I became a Christian as an adult and was baptized many years later (because I chose to, not because it is required by the church). </p> <p>I say this only because you only mentioned that you don't attend church, not that you aren't a christian, but our church (which is a huge non-denominational christian church) is extremely diverse and accepting of all. It is also highly populated by people who grew up Catholic, left the church, and embraced this one later in life because it was a better fit for them. If you are interested in that sort of community it may be worth checking out one in your area. It makes me so sad that you feel your family wouldn't be welcomed by your church community, because there are plenty out there that aren't that way at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139964 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:54:34 +0000 Torchwood 2139964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was raised strongly Christian, moving into Southern Baptist Fundamentalism as I got older. I definitely don't remember a time when I wasn't dragged to church multiple times a week. Around high school I started questioning things some, and by the time I was 21-ish I moved to complete non-belief/atheism. I didn't tell my family that for several years, so if we had had a baby during that time, when they thought I was just not into religion but assumed I still believed, there would have been a lot of pressure to take the baby to church, have a baby dedication (they don't do infant baptism, so the dedication is when you go before the church and vow to raise the baby to be a Christian, basically), etc. Since I'm "out" now as an atheist, that will be more limited. But I guarantee you they'll be asking to take her to things at church, like VBS. The churches my family attend do a LOT of very kid-oriented things with the specific intention of catching them while they're young. Now that I think about it, converting kids in the hope they'd convert their parents was definitely a thing I heard about growing up, so my family may be hoping to be able to work that angle.</p> <p>DH and I have discussed it (he wasn't raised religious, beyond maybe going to church on Christmas or Easter a handful of times, but his family does nominally believe in God), and our basic plan is no church or religious teachings when she's still very young. It's not like we're going to atheist church or planning to read her anti-religious books or anything, so she basically just won't be terribly aware of the existence of religion early on. As she gets older, and starts asking questions, we'll teach her about the beliefs from a variety of religions/cultures. Any discussion of personal beliefs (or non-belief, in our case) will be prefaced with some qualifier along the lines of, "I/some people believe," not just stated as an obvious fact. Family will have the same requirement, and won't be allowed to talk to LO about religion if they refuse. I grew up genuinely believing that Christianity was 100% self-evident, and non-believers really did believe, deep down, they just didn't want to give up their life of sin. I don't want my family trying to instill that same attitude in LO (because they really do believe it to this day; they can't even conceive that I'm not "angry at God" or something, and really genuinely just don't believe there is one). We'll take her to a variety of religious services if she's interested, but no church camps or VBS. Those settings are very isolating and high pressure to convert, which isn't healthy. In the end, it will be up to her to decide for herself what she does or does not believe, but we're not allowing anyone to put pressure on her one way or the other, or use scare tactics ("do you want to burn in hell forever") etc.</p> <p>Sorry for the novel! Dealing with religious family as a non-religious person is a topic that hits really close to home. It's been hard on my relationships with everyone in my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139962 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:54:03 +0000 meredithNYC 2139962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: it sounds like your mind is made up, but I do have to say that New York has some really nice and inclusive parishes. I particularly love St. Francis Xavier in Chelsea. Diverse group of people, liberal priest, beautiful church. I miss it a lot now that I'm in the suburbs. That said, if you don't believe, then even the nicest congregation is unlikely to change your feelings, and I get that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139951 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:46:35 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2139951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Peasinapod: that's exactly the thought I had ---- I actually feel the church is very exclusive. Even throughout the adoption, those who were religious were very standoffish to my husband and I, while spending a lot of time together in-country themselves. I'm also afraid it would no longer be welcoming for my "conspicuous" family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139950 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:46:31 +0000 lawbee11 2139950@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not quite the same because I abandoned my Catholic beliefs when I was in college (so before I got married or had children), but I was raised in a religious household (went to Church every Sunday, baptized, confirmed, went to Catholic school, etc.). Mine was a more gradual transition and I dropped hints until it became pretty obvious to my mom (my dad is Agnostic so he was obviously supportive). When I was pregnant I was pretty blunt about not baptizing LO. I wanted to just rip the bandaid off and let it be known. My mom was fine with it, but my mom's family wasn't happy about it. Oh well...can't please everyone! Good luck with whatever you decide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139941 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:42:39 +0000 meredithNYC 2139941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a practicing Catholic so haven't dealt with this situation myself, but I think you have to be true to your beliefs and values. Your family may have a hard time with that initially, but I expect they would come to respect your decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139913 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:25:51 +0000 looch 2139913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We didn't have external family pressure, but I thought my parents would react badly when they learned that my son wouldn't be baptized Catholic. I think they knew the writing was on the wall though, when I married a Protestant and we didn't do Catholic ceremony.</p> <p>It's turned out to be a total non issue, thankfully. My son does have godparents, but not in the religious sense. It was an opportunity for us to add some additional folks to my son's village in case he has questions later on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139896 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:09:51 +0000 hilsy85 2139896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not Cathlolicism, but I was raised quasi-Jewish (although we never went to temple, and I was never bat mitzvahed). When LO was born/around that time, my dad started to become much more religious, and there was an expectation that he would have a briss and be circumcised. We chose to not do either, and my dad flipped his shit. It was a teeny bit tempting to just do it and make him happy, but ultimately, we decided what we felt was right for our son. It was really tough, my dad didn't talk to me for about 3 months, including 6 weeks after LO was born. But everything worked out (i.e. he got over it) and now things are fine. I would not let your family pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do for your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139894 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 13:07:26 +0000 Eko 2139894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up Catholic and went through baptism, communion, and confirmation. It was never something I ever believed in and was forced into. So once I received my confirmation it was sort of that is that. My whole family is still religious though. </p> <p>DH grew up mormon and he still believes in it, but overall has conflicting feelings and isn't something he actively practices anymore. </p> <p>My family has been vocal and upset that we are not baptizing our child. My IL's are supportive as they are generally supportive of whatever our choice is. My logic to it is that since our family is religious LO would be exposed and learn about it and if he chooses to become a member of the church then he can be baptized later under his own will. The catholic church will still allow you to be baptized later if you weren't as a baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139876 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:49:33 +0000 .twist. 2139876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was very young when I made up my mind and moved away from Catholicism. My parents, while the praying sort, never really questioned me or pressured me into believe one thing or another. I just didn't really talk about my feelings until I was an adult. </p> <p>Both my parents and IL's asked if we were going to baptize L. We told them that we weren't, that we don't believe and we're not going to baptize him just to get him into a school (the argument being that we would "have the option to put him into a Catholic school system"), which isn't where we would want him to go anyway. I told them his religion, or lack thereof, would be a decision for him to make and mould as he grew up. </p> <p>@hotchildinthecity: I think, if this is the route you want to take, you have a great reasoning. As you said, it isn't like that is what he J was born into and if I were you, I would just say "nope, in staying close to his roots, we aren't going to baptize him and we will let him choose the religious direction he wants to take". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139868 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:43:25 +0000 Peasinapod 2139868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm also struggling with this decision right now. I received all the sacraments as did my husband so we decided to be married in the Catholic Church. I liked the community aspect. </p> <p>However at our wedding the priest made multiple comments I outright disagree with. </p> <p>Now my parents are asking when our lo will be baptized, not that they're pressuring but it's just assumed we will.</p> <p> But I don't know if I want to, it's not the inclusive community I remember it being, and I'm not super religious myself so I'm not sure what I'd gain by having her baptized. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/deciding-not-to-be-a-catholic-anymore#post-2139867 Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:42:00 +0000 Mamaof2 2139867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hotchildinthecity: this isn't going to be helpful but I am kinda going thru something similar right now.</p> <p>We did baptize both kids but now I need to decide if I want them to take PREP classes for 1st Holy Communion and Confirmation.</p> <p>DH never goes to church<br /> Taking the kids is stressful<br /> I go "sometimes"</p> <p>I cannot decide if its important enough to me or not....</p> <p>I am leaning towards skipping it and letting them decide when they get older. </p>