https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 05:43:38 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853463 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:14:58 +0000 aprk 853463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: that's a great quote!</p> <p>@blackbird: detached - definitely</p> <p>@jmarionsmith: I felt like crap about it at the beginning too, which is why I wanted to keep bringing it up. I really never heard anybody talk about it (outside of a PPD symptom, which is way different)</p> <p>@Adira: I think it's hard to enjoy the beginning anyway! Especially compared to now when they are smiling and interacting </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853456 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:10:52 +0000 Adira 853456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES! This was exactly me too!!! I kept WAITING for that overwhelming love when he was first born and it just DIDN'T HAPPEN. And while I thought he was cute right from the get-go, I definitely wasn't in love with him at first.</p> <p>It took us WEEKS before I suddenly realized I loved him. Before that, I was actually looking forward to returning to work and was jealous of my husband for being able to go to work while I was home with the baby! I mean, I LIKED him and I cared for him, but I definitely hadn't bonded with him.</p> <p>It wasn't under 7-8 weeks that I fell in love with him. And then suddenly the thought of going back to work and leaving him was unbearable! I wish it hadn't taken so long because I could have enjoyed all that time so much more, but it's definitely normal for it to take a while! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853384 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 06:14:29 +0000 jmarionsmith 853384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i remember in the first week of pp calling my mom, barely able to talk through the sobs, because i was convinced everyone loved my son more than i did and i felt like the worse mom ever.</p> <p>like you, i always cared for him and the thought of him being in pain broke my heart, but i just didn't have that overwhelming sense of love until he was a few months old. even now, at 9 months old, it comes in rushes. i mean, i absolutely love him all the time, but every once in a while i will get a overwhelming feeling of love and emotion for him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853361 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 05:57:18 +0000 blackbird 853361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes yes yes x100. It took me awhile. Just like you, I felt protective, but I also felt a little detached, too, I suppose. When she started smiling around 4-5 weeks old, I went from "aw she's so cute!" to really feeling attached. </p> <p>What @hersilvinglining on a post of mine where I asked how long it took to bond said really resonated with me--that we are essentially strangers at birth and have to get to know each other. And i repeated that to myself A LOT. It was easier when I watched my husband with her. That REALLY melted my heart. </p> <p>It was especially hard b/c my mom kept saying things like, 'Isn't it beautiful and amazing and instant love and unconditional, didn't you cry?!" and yadda yadda....and I just wanted to say, "no". I felt so bad because she made me feel so guilty when it wasn't like that for me (no surprise, I'm not an overly emotional person and she is easily the MOST emotional, over-the-top person i know). But still, she made me feel like a freak. And I know a lot of people don't get how you can NOT feel that way. </p> <p>But yes, IT'S OK. And it DOES happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853350 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 05:43:54 +0000 Kemma 853350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprk: I can honestly say that it took me at least six weeks to really bond with Miss A. I even remember sitting in the chair feeding her one day thinking "you know what? I actually quite like you now!"</p> <p>I remember reading a parenting book written in 1977 and the author wrote "You cannot turn on your love for the baby at the flick of switch or the cutting of the umbilical cord" and I remember it really resonating with me because whilst the love does come, sometimes it just takes a little time :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/delayed-bonding-its-ok#post-853336 Thu, 13 Jun 2013 05:23:39 +0000 aprk 853336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I often read about how parents fall in love with their babies at first sight. I presumed that's what would happen to me, and I so looked forward to the rush of emotion when he was placed on my chest after delivery. </p> <p>Well, that didn't happen. I just wanted to write this to say that delayed bonding with your babies is normal and ok, for anybody else who may be experiencing something similar. </p> <p>Some people might not understand, but it took me a few weeks to like my baby. And then a few more to actively love him. From the beginning I felt protective of him and have always cared for him with no problem, but it was a different kind of feeling than I expected. It was like I just needed to get to know him. </p> <p>Now at 10 weeks, I can say we've definitely turned the corner. I feel like I just gained entry to the "head over heels in love with your kid" club. He just let out a cry in his sleep and I felt it so deeply in my heart that it gave me shivers. </p> <p>Motherhood is a journey, and it's different for everyone. </p>