https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 17:27:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920802 Fri, 13 Nov 2020 14:50:19 +0000 lindseykaye 2920802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Carrot: Just posted on your wall :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920795 Fri, 13 Nov 2020 13:02:19 +0000 krispi 2920795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My kindergartener is also having a really hard time adjusting to virtual school, although in a different way (super excessive crying, clinging, etc.). We started noticing some other unhealthy trends like obsessive thoughts over old friends from daycare and such. We're trying out play therapy sessions virtually. So far, the books and tools recommended by the therapist help some days, and other days are still a struggle. We're about 3.5 weeks in so far, so we'll see how it goes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920787 Fri, 13 Nov 2020 09:04:32 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2920787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: Would you mind sharing (via PM if you'd prefer) what pushed you toward therapy with your daughter? No pressure at all if you'd rather not. Mine is 7 and I'm definitely seeing anxiety in her but I'm not quite sure what constitutes manageable vs not, and therapists for kids are so hard to get in my area so it just keeps lingering in my brain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920785 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 22:11:01 +0000 Litebrite 2920785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I think the scripts were mostly about recognizing his big feelings and trying to get to the root of what was making him upset. And also helping him understanding the size of the problem. Like getting upset over a small mistake. Mine was also really hard on himself, and small mistakes would trigger him.<br /> I think these scripts helped us because we weren't getting anywhere when we tried to address his negative talk head on. (Like "what makes you say that? Do you really mean that?"), and this helped us focus on what he was feeling instead of what he was saying. It's hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920778 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 18:07:49 +0000 bhbee 2920778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: thank you! Definitely tucking that away for if we end up going that route. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920772 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 15:01:48 +0000 lindseykaye 2920772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I’m so sorry you and your son are going through this. It’s so hard to hear your child you love so much express these feelings.</p> <p>Lots of great advice here already, but I wanted to share that we started our DD (just turned 8) in counseling earlier this year for anxiety and it seems to be helping tremendously in combination with medication. We tried a lot of things on our own and with help from her teachers, but found ourselves out of our depth eventually. So, if that is something you have thought about and want to talk more with someone, I am happy to share more of our experience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920770 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 14:13:48 +0000 bhbee 2920770@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Chuckles: that’s an interesting thought! I think it definitely could be in play as part of the whole, being middle child and all!</p> <p>@Litebrite: Curious if you remember what the scripts were like? I’ve really been focusing on expressing that he is not replaceable - we would not be the same without him, he brings something special, etc - and that seems to be helping some. He’s still really hard on himself, which seems a little more normal if also something to work on. I’m glad at least to have made some headway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920768 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 13:03:04 +0000 poppygirl15 2920768@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know if this is an option, or if it would help, but when Covid really started to get to our DD and we could tell she was feeling super down, we finally gave in to her greatest wish and got her a pet (rats - low stress/care needs). It has help immensely. Like totally night &amp; day for her to have a "companion." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920767 Thu, 12 Nov 2020 12:57:05 +0000 Chuckles 2920767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oof, that must be so hard to hear from DS. I'm sending you both good thoughts. It does sound to me like more than just regular, trying out feelings talk. I know some therapists are doing teletherapy, so maybe that would be an option? I also wondered - You said that he gets some more negative attention because he's more "spirited" and that you're trying to also give lots of positive attention. Do you think you're giving lots of positive attention/cuddles/etc when he talks or behaves in a sad, depressed way? I wonder if it's partly attention seeking?<br /> ETA: I don't think it started as attention seeking, but maybe he was feeling pretty down and is learning that expressing that is a great way to get your attention? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920706 Wed, 11 Nov 2020 11:06:42 +0000 MoonMoon 2920706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have much advice, I just want to give your DS a big hug. I've been thinking a lot about how this pandemic will have psychological effects on kids and how we'll be dealing with the fallout for a long time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920678 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 18:32:41 +0000 Litebrite 2920678@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: hi, we had a similar situation in kindergarten and it was very upsetting for me. I spoke with the school counselor about it and she put it in the context of where my son was developmentally and gave me some scripts for when he started talking that way. The problem kind of resolved itself during lockdown, and so far hasn't come back in the new school year. Just wanted to share our experience, good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920674 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 17:02:46 +0000 mdf106 2920674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son's martial arts studio has zoom classes, and they have gone pretty well, although he is slightly older (6 and in 1st grade when the pandemic began) and was already doing martial arts. He does it completely independently, in a room with the door closed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920673 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 16:50:51 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2920673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is he getting enough sunshine and fresh air? Exercise? As a point of reference my boys need 3 hours a day or more outside.<br /> Since this whole thing started we have made it a non negotiable to go on a hike every weekend. It’s socially distant and helps the kids reset from being around the house all the time.<br /> Also, this may seem a little woo-woo but EMFs are a thing and some people are more susceptible. One thing that helps is putting our WiFi on a timer so it goes off at night.<br /> Also would look at diet. When our bodies feel better so does our mind, but kids don’t know to articulate that.<br /> Good luck! It’s so hard with the littles sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920668 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 15:59:25 +0000 hellobeeboston 2920668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there a local child psychologist seeing kids in person? 1:1 with masks? If you're comfortable with that as an option I would look into it. Therapy for a kindergartener can be so fun for them with the play therapy usually involved, and he may enjoy that 1:1 attention and his own time.</p> <p>For outdoor activities - how about skiing or ice skating outdoors? </p> <p>I'm sorry, it's so hard right now. stupid covid.... If those idea aren't working maybe designate a special mom/son and or dad/son time for an hour every week, where he gets a lot of individual attention to do something special, or work on something together that he would enjoy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920667 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 15:52:43 +0000 bhbee 2920667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Myicitygirl: good question about local! I will have to look into it. Sometimes I feel like he misses teachers as much or more than other kids so it might still help remotely! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920666 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 15:44:50 +0000 Myicitygirl 2920666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>can you find a local martial arts studio that is doing zoom classes? my kids have been on zoom for taekwondo since march (but they were not beginners) and it has been going pretty well. I recommend casting the zoom on a TV and giving them a large gym-type mat to use. Once it is safe, he can try studio classes with the same instructor </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depressed-talk-in-5-year-old#post-2920665 Tue, 10 Nov 2020 15:00:39 +0000 bhbee 2920665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know I probably need to have a conversation with our pedi too, but always find others’ experience so helpful. </p> <p>Our 5 (almost 6) year old is in virtual Kinder this year. It’s not ideal but we have two high risk family members (including him) and cases in our area are now getting bad again. He seems ok with the academic parts (not super demanding - 1 hour zoom, a few assignments from school, some supplementing at home) but I know he really needs the social and we just don’t feel comfortable doing that beyond playing with another family or two outside. He’s also the middle child and I suspect just really needs some space away from his older sister to be his own person, even though they get along well, she’s the boss in a typical oldest child way. He’s sensitive and a bit (a lot) wild so he does hear more “don’t do that” type words than I wish. I think he also gets caught by being somewhat on his sister’s 3rd grade level - since he’s always looked up to play with her - but doesn’t have all the skills she does, just because he’s 3 years younger, so feels inferior. I wish he could do martial arts or something that would be his own, but we just don’t feel comfortable with indoor activities this winter. </p> <p>Since covid I think he has struggled the most of any of us. Lots of sadness he can’t say why ... he just knows he is sad. Lately it seems to be escalating. Talk about how he shouldn’t be in our family, it would be better without him, he can’t do anything, nothing sounds fun except maybe tv time, on and on. He wouldn’t eat lunch today, just sat in a ball. Nothing we say or do seems to change it much - we are trying hard to be positive and thoughtful in what words we use, even when he’s misbehaving, with lots of praise and encouragement. It just all seems like more than “trying the words out” when kids say out there stuff. </p> <p>DH and I both brought mental health issues to the gene pool so surely that is not helping. I know the feeling of being mired in sadness but I never felt it until a teenager. </p> <p>I don’t know what I’m looking for, but if you have experience, would love to hear it! I know a big part is we need covid to end so he can go out and find his place in the world again and feel good about school and activities, but that’s a long road likely. Thank you in advance! </p>