https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 15:12:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121979 Sat, 14 Apr 2012 00:44:29 +0000 Mrs. Train 121979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have already got a lot of great advice the one other thing I would recommend for the emotional aspect of breast feeding is to coach the people around you how you want to be supported. I had talked to my husband about breastfeeding and how important to me it was so I needed him to support that. But we were having twins and I knew I might have to supplement so I wasn't against them having formula. In the early weeks when I was having such a hard time my husband was great because we had talked about it but I ended up screaming at my mom. I was crying while feeding them (trouble latching and pain and constant feedings were wearing me down). My mom kept saying you can always quit you don't have to do this. I blew up at her and screamed that I wanted to and I just wanted her to believe in me and stop telling me I could quit when what I wanted to hear was you can do it keep at it, it gets easier. Granted I shouldn't have screamed at her but after that she was my biggest support. She helped me latch my twins ( literally grabbing my breast and shoving the babies head toward me). She helped me set small goals. I know she was just trying to help by saying I could quit but it wasn't what I wanted. Let you support system know how to help you. If its to leave you alone while you cry so be it. If its to sit next to you while you nurse and talk you through it let them know. </p> <p>Good luck to you. You are not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121947 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 22:10:17 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 121947@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh honey! Don't be so hard on yourself - I know that's hard in itself to do. You're doing a great job and I know that because you care enough to put your thoughts out here. </p> <p>My LO used a nipple shield for 3 weeks and it took another 3 weeks after that to get her to learn to correctly latch on to the nipple. And it wasn't until just a week or so ago that I was able to get her to stop nursing to sleep. </p> <p>You're doing the right thing by setting small goals for yourself. 20 minutes is a great time to try at it each time. Go ahead and make up a few bottles of formula so that they're all ready if she doesn't eat to save you some time. And know that if you do have to supplement with formula, it's ok. It doesn't make you a bad mom!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121946 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 22:05:40 +0000 SAHM0811 121946@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>your plan sounds awesome. small goals are the way to go with breastfeeding... it is so difficult in the beginning, but like everyone says, it does get easier. best of luck. we are here for support too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121881 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 20:34:36 +0000 keiki_mama 121881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*BIG HUG*</p> <p>I could have written this post myself! Breastfeeding freaking SUCKS! I feel your pain. I had a baby about three weeks ago and I feel like I'm still on the same boat as you. My baby also went to NICU (for the first 48 hours) and I didn't get to do skin to skin with him until 24 hours later. My collostrum didn't come in until day four and my milk didn't come until day seven--we had to supplement with formula from the beginning. I've seen three lactation consultants and worked with three nurses on breastfeeding but I really dislike it. </p> <p>I rented a hospital grade pump (Medela Lactina) and have been successful at establishing my milk supply to meet my baby's needs. </p> <p>It's not too late for you! Yes breast is the best but if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy! There is nothing wrong with supplementing with formula, exclusively feeding your baby formula, or exclusively pumping. </p> <p>Another thing that none of my lactation consultants caught was that my baby was tongue tied hence breastfeeding was incredibly painful for me. Maybe that's the case for your LO as well?</p> <p>I actually really enjoy pumping! I feel like it gives me exclusive "me time". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121876 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 20:09:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 121876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That sounds like a great goal. Those first few weeks (she was healthy full term) I also tried to limit feedings to every two hours. Sometimes that meant dealing with an upset baby for a little bit and even fudging the clock a bit (meaning sometimes she would feed at 4pm and by 5:30 she'd be starving again, we could hold her off until like 5:45 but would go ahead and feed her just shy of the 2 hour mark). </p> <p>I would highly suggest going to the LC group. I went to one twice a week while on leave and it was SOOOO wonderful. I think the other thing that people don't mention is that yes the first few days are the hardest, but the first few WEEKs are still really hard because everything is changing so fast. You never know if its a growth spurt, low milk, their latch changes, etc. Its really helpful to be able to see a LC/other moms to help discuss. </p> <p>Keep setting small goals, you can do this if thats what you want. If you need a break, do like others have said and try just pumping! I know a mom in another group pumped at first and around 4 months was able to get her daughter to nurse again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121870 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 19:58:29 +0000 mrs. wagon 121870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JustlikeHeaven: That sounds like a really great plan. Honestly it's all about setting goals that you are pretty confident you can achieve because then you don't feel like you're failing, and with each feeding you are both adjusting and learning. And reaching out for help is so key. I was stubborn and suffered in silence for a long time. Then I reached out to the moms from my church, asking if anyone had gone through any of the physical and emotional issues that I was going through, and EVERY SINGLE ONE responded that they had gone through the SAME thing that I had gone through and that I was totally normal. Just hearing that made me feel 50% better.</p> <p>Also, in the end, know that whatever decision you make as a mom, you just need to do what makes you and baby happy. If breastfeeding is not for you, you'll be a better mommy to your baby if you switch to exclusive pumping or formula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121764 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:35:42 +0000 DpeachLu 121764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you SOOOOO much everyone. I have set a small goal. I will continue to breastfeed but limit it to 20 minutes per breast and after that i will bottle feed expressed milk if available or formula, if she needs it. I will try that until next tuesday when i will be going to a breastfeeding support group at a hospital near home to see what they tell/suggest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121744 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:07:53 +0000 hilsy85 121744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't breastfed yet, but from what I've heard, it is SUPER HARD for almost everyone for the first 6 to 8 weeks. But then IT GETS BETTER (for most people). The important thing is to stick with it through that really awful period. So all I can say is ((hugs)) and I would agree with pp about meeting with a lactation counselor or a La Leche League in order to get some support. And if you do end up not breastfeeding, that's okay too! You need to do what is right for you and your baby, not what anyone else tells you is right. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121614 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:37:09 +0000 pelikila 121614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Deep breaths, small goals, even if it is one feeding to the next. If you want to switch exclusively to formula, don't feel guilty about it. If you want to find a way to make breastfeeding work, please consider finding an IBCLC in your area and a great support group through a resource like LLL. Breastfeeding requires a heck of a lot of emotional support and championing - more than I ever imagined before I did it. Make an appointment with an IBCLC to watch you during a feeding (or two or three!) and give you suggestions for things that might help make it easier for you and baby. You and baby are both learning and though your body may know what to do, that doesn't mean your head and heart do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121584 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:26:52 +0000 sulli301 121584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a HORRIBLE time breastfeeding for the first month &amp; honestly didn't have it 100% down until 6 weeks. I cried so much those first few weeks. At 2 months I breastfed under a nursing cover. It gets easier, the pain goes away &amp; baby gets the hang of it!! Also, it gets faster! LO is now 11.5 months &amp; breastfeeding is 10 minutes max. I read the book Breastfeeding Made Simple 7 Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers (they have a website breastfeedingmadesimple.com) &amp; it is pretty one sided but helped so much. I also originally was using a boppy but switched to a my breast friend pillow &amp; that helped so much. I pumped a ton in the beginning &amp; then always pumped 2 times/day &amp; still do. </p> <p>All the best...I'm sorry you're having such a hard time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121567 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:21:05 +0000 mrs. wagon 121567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know just how you feel. Just like a commenter above, I have some confessions:</p> <p>1) I never enjoyed breastfeeding.<br /> 2) I had an emotional breakdown (as in full-out bawling and saying "I'M DONE") almost every day. At least 5 a week in the beginning.<br /> 3) There were times when Wagon Sr. would bring Wagon Jr. to me because he needed to be fed and I would say no. Obviously I'd end up giving in, but I resented the baby so much for needing me just an hour after I had fed him. Just as I was done cleaning up and settling back in to sleep!</p> <p>For me, I really didn't care if I gave up... but I couldn't dispute the facts that 1) breastmilk is free, formula is expensive and 2) nursing was keeping Wagon Jr. from getting sick because he was getting all my strong antibodies. </p> <p>I made little goals. Just make it through the end of this week, and if it's still horrible, you can quit without feeling guilt. Just make it to month 3 and you can quit, that's when all the big benefits start to fade off anyway. Just make it to month 4...</p> <p>It just so happened that every time I reached one of my goals, it was a good day, so I'd grudgingly say "ok fine, I guess I'll try one more week" or one more month, towards the end. I made it to 7 months when 1) Wagon Jr. stopped having interest in nursing and 2) my milk supply dried up due to stress and a decongestant I was taking. I'm really proud of the fact that I lasted so much longer than I expected to, especially when I "officially decided to quit" (hah) so, so, so many times.</p> <p>I did not expect to be so emotionally affected by breastfeeding... still definitely the hardest thing I've ever done!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121545 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 15:13:53 +0000 purrpletulips 121545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. </p> <p>Are you feeling this way all the time or just during feedings. It may be a good idea to call your doctor and tell him/her what is going on just to get checked out.</p> <p>I was determined to BF and ran into difficulty as well. I second what @mrstilly said. I called my local LLL group and the leader was able to give me some very helpful advise on the phone.</p> <p>You are not a failure. You have to do what is right for both you and your LO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121367 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:01:17 +0000 heffalump 121367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry you are going through this! I also had trouble breastfeeding, but for different reasons. My milk didn't come in on time and LO would try for hours at a time to feed and she wasn't getting anything so she would cry and cry. Naturally it killed my nipples, and it was just crazy painful. We ended up supplimenting with formula, but by the time my milk came in I was done. It was just too painful. I would dread feeding her, and I'd be crying every time she ate. Finally I decided it just wasn't worth it. I wanted feeding time to be a happy time, and then it was just unhappy and stressful for both of us. So I told my husband I was finished breastfeeding, and I cried and cried and cried for days. I felt so guilty. Like you, I spent tons of money renting a breastpump and buying the extras, and I felt awful about that too. But for us it just wasn't meant to be.</p> <p>LO has been on formula most of her life now and she's healthy and happy. And that's what matters to me most.</p> <p>Hope you figure out what works best for you and your LO. Just know that if you decide on formula, although it might seem like the end of the world, it's not! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121334 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:37:41 +0000 itsmejules 121334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>3 confessions</p> <p>1) It took me at least 6-8 weeks to fully get the hang of breastfeeding<br /> 2) I pumped exclusively for the first 4 weeks<br /> 3) I had 3 visits with a lactation consultant in the first two weeks</p> <p>When I first got pregnant, a friend told me that the HARDEST thing ever was breastfeeding - I always thought she meant it was hard physically. It was much harder emotionally for me. I thought the baby was rejecting me, I thought I wasnt good at it, and it definitely did not come naturally. </p> <p>The choice is yours, if formula feeding will allow you to enjoy life with your baby more, then I say go for it. But I just wanted to say that it was something that I had to learn, it did not come easy to me, but it was worth it in the end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121311 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:25:26 +0000 mrstilly 121311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>IF you want to keep breastfeeding, one of the first things I would do is look online at the Le Leche League website and try to locate an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) in your area. Many hospitals and pediatricians offices have people "trained" in lactation, but an IBCLC is more trained and has to pass an exam to be certified, rather than just get some training. A lot of places have LLL meetings run by IBCLCs where they can help you out for free, or set up a consult/initial meeting to help you breastfeed your LO. </p> <p>I was given a nipple shield at 3 days post partum and it really wasn't the best solution at the time, but I didn't find that out until I went to a LLL group meeting. </p> <p>Second, are there any other moms who you know who have breastfed? Any new mom groups you can get out to? Other moms can be a great resource for support and tips that worked for them that you can try. </p> <p>Next, take it one day at a time. It WILL get better, one way or another, and you WILL get sleep again! If you are breastfeeding and your LO's jaundice improved, then you are certainly doing something right! Count that as a huge success and pat yourself on the back. Breastfeeding is hard. There is a HUGE learning curve for you and your LO. </p> <p>There were plenty of times in the early months when I yelled at DS, usually around feeding or sleeping, and we are still together, doing great and happy a year later. This will pass. If there is something he can do to help you, let him know at a point in time where you are not super stressed. </p> <p>Supplementing with formula isn't the end of the world, and it also doesn't mean that you will have to continue once you start. If you need a nap, have DH take over and use the bottle for a feeding, while you rest. </p> <p>Have you been pumping at all yet? </p> <p>*Major HUGS to you mama! I remember those days and just know you are doing great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121300 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:19:43 +0000 banana 121300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe you can try exclusively pumping? I knows lots of moms that did this and it's totally fine! That way you're sane and your baby is getting breastmilk. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with formula! I think the whole "breast is best" can get out of hand at times. I grew up formula-fed and I'm totally healthy and fine!!! Honestly, I think babies can feel when their mommies are feeling sad and that may be worse than not breastfeeding. Happy mommy = happy baby = happy family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121290 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:15:34 +0000 Mrsbells 121290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you know why she yells at the end of the feeding? Does she just get frustrated and start crying or is this only when you try to stop nursing? You can pump for a while and take a break from breast feeding until you feel relaxed and ready to give it another try </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121273 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:09:22 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 121273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You know, you shouldn't feel guilty if breastfeeding is not working for you. Everyone's bodies are so different, and our babies are all different too. If bottle feeding with formula is what works for you and your baby, then GREAT! She is getting the nutrients that she needs to be healthy, and it's helping with your own mental and emotional health. It's not worth going nuts over.... really. Dealing with a new addition is hard enough as it is, don't be hard on yourself!</p> <p>Now, if you want breastfeeding advice, I haven't started yet. The only thing that I keep reading in all of my books is make sure that your working on your baby getting a full feeding at every feeding. She needs to get the calorie rich hind milk that only comes out at the end of a feeding. If she gets this on either side, she will stay full longer and feedings will be about 2.5 hours apart. Is there a way you could focus on this? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121265 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:04:55 +0000 DpeachLu 121265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>please exc<br /> use all typos as i did this from my cell phone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/depression-and-breastfeeding#post-121262 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:04:17 +0000 DpeachLu 121262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Breastfeeding is causing me to get depressed. I have written a few entries on this board already (thank you lemondrop for always commenting.) as i sit here after having my third breakdown since my daughters birth 9 days ago.... I reaaaaally want to just say thats it im done... but then i think about all the moms that do breastfeed and lets be honest the $300.00 i just spent on a breastpump... and i want to keep going. but it hasnt been easy at all. since day one.<br /> they took her away to the nicu and i wasnt able to do skin to skin, later that day when she was brought back to me she did not latch well and the nurse got me pumping and supplementing with formula. a lactation consultant came to see me the day we were released and gave me a nipple shield which she latched on to... GREAT... since then its been a battle. rarely she feeds and ends up falling asleep an hour later just fine to feed again in an hour or two... but mostly she will cluster feed... i spend up to 3 hours with her on the couch switching breast on and off and on and off... getting NO sleep.. but as long as she is on my breast and sucking its okay. however.. when that happens most of the times those 3 hours end up ending with her yelling at the top of her lungs... and me yelling out at my husband to give her a bottle of formula following with me breaking down. i mean full breaking down. crying, panicking, having thoughts like.. im a failure, what am i doing wrong, i cant do anything right, im a bad parent, what do i need to do... and the list goes on.<br /> i know getting like this does NOT help my milk supply but im just on the edge and NEED to breakdown. i feel so alone. i dont know what to do. my husband gets frustrated i dont think he understands but then ends up listening to me but i know he just doesnt get it, ive had my mom drive to my house during one of my breakdowns to calm me down... but i dont want<br /> to keep worrying her ... i dont know what to do. </p> <p>a few days ago my daughter had a high level of jaundice the doctor gave me some advice and asked us to have her blood retested yesterday we were then told her jaundice level went down so feeding must be going well.. if so, why does it end up like this???? </p>