https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 19 May 2026 15:16:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2277707 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 10:36:22 +0000 Happygal 2277707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: have things improved? I hope so! </p> <p>I just checked in on our January 2015 thread and more than 1 baby has decided to party on at night time, including mine. It seems like 7 months can be a bumpy time.</p> <p>Regarding stopping nursing to sleep--I still turn on the white noise and fan and have a dim light on when we nurse. I hope she gets drowsy, just not all the way asleep. Once she slows down or rolls off to look around, I go over and turn off the lamp, sing her a song, put her in the crib. She'll cry most of the times, but it doesn't last long (5-10 minutes?) She cried longer in the beginning of the switch, but I haven't let her go longer than 15-20. I'll go back in and nurse her again. last night I went after 10 b/c I could tell she was going for it and was not going to stop.</p> <p>When I first started paying attention to the timing of naps, I watched the clock, not her. After 2 hours of awake time, it was time to try for a nap. I find that schedule is still true today. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2277687 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 10:26:31 +0000 rosegold 2277687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: i do play, bath, nurse to sleep for bedtime. try it? a 2hr nap sounds normal to me during the day, but i know some kids will sleep more. are you a sahm? i would definitely mentally lock myself into baby mode and not stress about anything else for a few days so you can really focus on the daily routine and making sure lo gets enough sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2277656 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 09:57:58 +0000 bushelandapeck 2277656@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm definitely no expert with a DD who is still waking 1-2x/night at 10.5 months but.....she does fall asleep easily on her own and I attribute it to having a sleep consult and to changing our routines a bit. We had been nursing to sleep (or close to bedtime) and the consultant had me change it to nursing at least 20 mins prior to putting her in her crib. I also took away other sleep associations (pacifier, rocking, etc) and it helped with the night wakings almost immediately. She had been doing what your DD did last night, and is now waking just once or twice. I still find that if she is overtired or not tired enough, this can cause the frequent night wakings, but this is very rare now. I hope you figure something out and get more sleep soon!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2277642 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 09:45:00 +0000 snowjewelz 2277642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: I am so sorry! 5 hrs def seems like a long time and that she is either over or under tired. I haven't read through all the posts, but did you already talk about what her wake times are like? With my almost 9 mo old, we haven't sleep trained, she doesn't STTN either, but when she fights sleep, it's usually b/c she isn't tired yet, or is already over tired. I find that I really have to learn her schedule and figure out when to put her down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276739 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 15:33:54 +0000 Kemma 2276739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: have you tried loosely wrapping your LO when she's getting that overtired? My big girl used to find being wrapped very soothing. </p> <p>I'm not really a fan of CIO so I think I would do whatever I could to catch baby up on sleep and then work on self-settling.</p> <p>ETA I just had another thought, maybe your LO finds the rocking too stimulating so could you try just "being the bed"? Do the bedtime routine, nurse baby till she's drowsy, wrap her up in a nice soft blanket / cloth then just hold her to your body while stroking her nose or eyebrows. Once she's asleep you could unwrap her and pop her in to bed (maybe try putting her on her tummy?) then keep stroking until she's in a deep sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276737 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 15:13:24 +0000 autumn865 2276737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Trailmix: you are so right! There are some nights she's so over tired you is just hysterical in my arms crying :( so what really is the difference... Either way she's going to cry :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276711 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 14:16:36 +0000 Trailmix 2276711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you're going to like my advice but if it were me in your shoes, here's what I would do: Do your consistent bedtime routine, put the baby down in her crib, shut the door and put on some headphones or ear plugs. It will suck but she will go to sleep eventually and what you are going through sounds worse than any CIO to me, to be honest. I'm sorry you're going through this! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276710 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 14:16:35 +0000 Freckles 2276710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: I always do nursing last, but i know some people prefer to do it before bath. I have all the lights on with the noise machine going on and then turn off the lights, walk around the room and sing for a bit until i see she gets drowsy and put her in the crib. At 7 months, i remember i had to get him in his crib within 2, maybe 2.5 hours of his last nap.</p> <p>Do you think maybe she needs 3 naps? At 7 months, she needed at least 3 hours of naps. Maybe you could get her to have a cat nap to get her to bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276708 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 14:10:37 +0000 MamaG 2276708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you have someone else put her to bed? We found when we first sleep trained that I couldn't put her to bed, DH needed to. Now she will go to bed easily for either of us. We bottle feed at bedtime, and some nights she will fall asleep and not finish her bottle. Other nights she's awake when she goes to bed. But regardless, when she goes in her bed, we don't go back. She has a tendancy to "play" in MOTN, sometimes this includes whining. If the whining persists for 30 minutes we go in. That's rare, she normally gets back to sleep without help.</p> <p>We didn't use a "method". We had tried CIO with checks at 5-10-15 minutes. Two nights and it wasn't working. We switched to DH doing the last feed and never looked back. That was probably 4 - 5 months ago and she's now 9.5 months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276706 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 14:08:59 +0000 autumn865 2276706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you so much everyone for the support and suggestions. With my older LO she loved to nurse to sleep and eventually figured out self soothing in her own. I think for tonight we will change up the routien so she doesn't fall asleep nursing and then try some cry it out with no checks. </p> <p>Should I still nurse last but with the light on, no sound machine or sleep sack and then do these things? Or should I have nursing at a totally different time? Like right before or after bath? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276702 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 13:54:58 +0000 SweetiePie 2276702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: first of all, so sorry! Those nights are the worst. I remember a week like this when my son was about 4 months and it was misery. </p> <p>DISCLAIMER: I am not a sleep expert or consultant, I just have read a ton about the subject and by applying what I've read have gotten my son onto a schedule of naps that last 1.5-2 hours and sleep from 6:30pm to 6:30am with no waking! Of course it wasn't always like this, it took lots of work and adjusting. </p> <p>I would try putting LO down earlier. At that age the max awake time should still be 2 hours. And that is MAX! My son could still barely make it past 1.75 hours. I would disagree with PP who said not to worry about naps, without a doubt at that age sleep still begets sleep. So if naps are short (less than 45 mins to an hour, ideal 1.5-2 hours) it can be throwing the whole day for a loop, including bedtime.<br /> Sorry if you're already doing this and I'm telling you what you already know, but I'd start with making sure awake time doesn't surpass 2 hours. So if LO wakes at 5am, first nap should be no later than 7am. If that nap ends at 8am, next should be by 10am. And so forth. Babies that wake up very early can end up having several naps in a day in order to make it to bedtime.<br /> If you rush in when LO starts crying, try not to! This was a hard one for me but I did discover when I started waiting a few minutes that he did (sometimes) fall back asleep on his own. A big mistake parents make is rushing in thinning the nap is over OR to rock them back down. Many times it isn't needed.<br /> Don't be fooled by the "keep the baby up so they are super tired" trick, it rarely works. Overtired makes it harder to fall asleep AND stay asleep. Which is what I think might be happening with those wakeups 40 mins into the nap or bedtime. </p> <p>Try earlier bedtime. I know this sounds crazy, BUT If the last nap ends at 3:30pm...you might just have to try bedtime around 5/5:30pm! We had to do this for a little while and though it felt really unnatural, routine was a breeze as he wasn't yet overtired, he went down easily, and slept till the same time the next day! Bedtime at that age doesn't effect morning wake time that much! Meaning - if you put LO down at 8pm, she'll wake up at 6am. If you put LO down at 6pm, she'll wake up at 6am. Many babies have an internal clock of sorts which makes them wake around the same time every day regardless of bedtime. So if she is consistently getting less than 11/12 hours a night, it's setting her day up for an overtired mess. </p> <p>Lastly - CIO. I know it's not for everyone but it works! I promise your LO will not harbor a grudge in the morning! That was my biggest fear, but he never ever remembers when we let him cry, he is happy as can be in the morning. If anything he may be happier because he got better sleep!<br /> I used to turn the sound off on my monitor, shut his door, and shut my door. I would turn on music, TV, whatever. I'd glance at the monitor occasionally, but going in ALWAYS made it worse for us. Checks are not effective for every baby. It took 3 nights of full on CIO and it got shorter and shorter and eventually stopped. </p> <p>Be consistent! With time awake, bedtime, CIO, all of that. Babies THRIVE on consistency and routine. It's how they learn and find comfort. The biggest mistake with CIO is that parents throw in the towel because they think giving in is "easier" than CIO. But with 8 months of 6:30pm - 6:30am sleep after just 3 nights of brutal and miserable CIO, I can guarantee it was easier than if he was still waking or not going to sleep on his own! It sometimes took every fiber of my being to stick with my plan for his sleep. (From staying indoors for naps to CIO). It's not just the sleep that will make you feel good. It's the FREE PERSONAL TIME in the evening. It made me a new woman. </p> <p>There have been a few articles that have really helped me and I'm happy to pass along if you are interested. </p> <p>Also, I have a friend who is a behavioral/sleep consultant. She didn't help me (I didn't ask because I felt weird), but it's her bread and butter and she does phone/remote consulting. I can pass you her info/website!</p> <p>Big hugs and hope that even 1 sentence I wrote helps. It's hard and I feel for you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276676 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 13:04:33 +0000 Grace 2276676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't worry about the naps. Anything over 1 hr is a win. 1.5 hr naps are awesome and as your LO gets more used to it, those 1.5 hr naps will become consistent. They might not get longer until she drops to 1 nap.</p> <p>As for nights, you might want to figure out a way to get her falling asleep on her own. I found that at that age, my presence was keeping her awake. I was way too stimulating. Also, what didn't work for you last month might work this month. Babies are constantly changing and what you thought did or didn't work a month ago, may be all changed now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276672 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 12:50:55 +0000 tlcbaby 2276672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had some issues like this, but it was more during nap time than in the evening. I had to slowly transition out of rocking/nursing to sleep by rocking almost to sleep then laying him down and rubbing his back or something until he fell asleep. Then I would just sit by the crib and then I sat on the other side of the room and finally I started leaving the room. Eventually, I could lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276670 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 12:49:45 +0000 ChiCalGoBee 2276670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: I've heard CIO can take up to two weeks to fully work, but if you don't want to do that, I had a friend who just did The Disappearing Chair method (<a href="http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2014/06/the-disappearing-chair-sleep-training.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2014/06/the-disappearing-chair-sleep-training.html</a>), and said it was magic for her baby who she didn't want to do CIO with.</p> <p>As an aside, for us, going in during MOTN makes things SO much worse for our son. Seeing us come and leave is just too hard for him, so we always give him time to calm down if he wakes up and he almost always is able to settle himself with a pacifier/his lovey. Whenever we go in it just makes things exponentially harder and he cries way longer, so I thought I'd put that out there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276650 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 12:23:35 +0000 ellewoods84 2276650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: Sorry you are dealing with this, I know it's awful to feel so sleep deprived and like there is nothing you can do to fix it. I've been there! I do agree with the PP that you should just do whatever it takes during the day for now to combat the over tiredness, if its possible. Also, I would definitely change your routine up a bit and do nursing first (20-30 minutes prior to putting into crib), bath, books, into crib awake. Unfortunately, it will definitely involve crying, but maybe she has a sleep association with nursing? We had the same exact issue. She would go down easily, but wake up 30-45 minutes later and then be up for HOURS, it was pure hell. Nothing worked. We finally changed up the routine, did CIO at bedtime first, and that helped. I always read what happens at bedtime will help with MOTN wake ups. I also read that any wake up really before midnight is most likely a sleep association problem, so I really think changing it up at bedtime will help! I think after you tackle bedtime and have her sleeping a little bit of a longer stretch in the beginning, you can work on other wake ups MOTN. Also, I am not sure if you are on Facebook, but there is a troublesome tots group page that I follow and I find them to be extremely helpful with all sorts of sleep issues. I think they did just recently change the name to precious little sleep though. I would look them up also and they might have some better ideas if you post this there! I love that website and the person who made that website (a sleep consultant) comments frequently. I hope it starts to improve for you guys soon. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276556 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 09:10:13 +0000 BabyTsMom 2276556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumn865: Are you nursing to sleep? if so, maybe you can try putting nursing earlier in the routine so she doesn't fall asleep? Another thought is, have you tried extinction CIO? Maybe your LO gets too stimulated even at the sight or sound of you during checks. Did your DH do checks? it could be that she smells you and wants to nurse when you're near?<br /> Some might not agree with me, but as pp said, I would do night time first and hold her for naps to let her get at least some sleep during the training period. That's what I did and it worked. The downside to that, of course, is that you may have to train for naps down the road so the total training time might take longer....<br /> On the other extreme, have you tried cosleeping? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276500 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 07:23:02 +0000 autumn865 2276500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: I think we might be at this point. We have a friend who recommended someone that they were able to do a Skype/ email/ phone package that has been our last resort. But looking at how things are we might be at that place right now! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276481 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 06:14:01 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2276481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like it might be time to bring in a hired gun. The longer you go on getting very little sleep, the harder it will be for you to be patient with your LO. I would hire a night nanny or a sleep consultant, if I were in your shoes. Obviously don't know your financial situation - ours is TIGHT but sleep is IMPORTANT - I would go without a lot to afford it, I think. I would speak to your paediatrician and ask for a referral or recommendation for someone that might be able to help.<br /> Good luck - I am so so sorry that you are going through this :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276476 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 05:39:52 +0000 Annette 2276476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Gah, I'm so frustrated for you :( you must be exhausted! I haven't personally done CIO yet but I have heard sometimes the checks can just make babe cry more/harder. Do you think that could be the case with you LO? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276475 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 05:36:40 +0000 autumn865 2276475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Annette: thank you for the reply. We have a solid bedtime routien of bath, books, nursing bed since about 2 months but she has always awoken at the 20-40 minute mark and needed extra cuddles to go back down. That one wake up has expanded to 2-3 hours on a normal night to get her down :( a month or so ago we tried CIO with checks but the crying got worse as the days went on and by 10 days and 2 hours straight of crying we threw in the towel. Just don't know where to go from here :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276474 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 05:30:56 +0000 Annette 2276474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm no expert on this but our LO has had nights like this where he is so tired but doesn't want to sleep. Have you tried starting a bedtime routine to help her start to wind down in the evenings? We started spending about 30 mins before bed in his room with the lights down low to get him to calm a bit before bed. As for naps if you need to hold her or find a way to get her to nap somehow for a day just so that she can catch up on sleep I say do what you have to do. Others may disagree on that but if you think part of the problem is over tiredness it may help to reset things). Good luck, do what you have to do to survive it!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/desperate-sleep-help-needed#post-2276471 Sat, 29 Aug 2015 05:19:47 +0000 autumn865 2276471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My 7 month old had an epic night last night and we are at a total loss. Bedtime should be 7 but she took almost 5 hours of rocking until she fell asleep. She finally slept from 11 something to a little after 5 and will not go back down for anything so she got 6 hours of nighttime sleep which is crazy. Naps are shitty and never longer than 1.5 hours at a time usually totaling 2 to 2.5 hours for the day. I know she needs to fall asleep on her own and I know she's not sleeping because she's severely overtired. But at a total loss of where to start and what to do right now. </p>