https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 00:11:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay/page/2#post-2830489 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 11:01:12 +0000 Alba4 2830489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mamaof2: hahaha! Thankfully no!</p> <p>She still is planning a destination wedding, but it is at a really swanky resort in the Hamptons. We built a family vacation around the wedding weekend. So many family members are declining and can’t make it, but in all honesty, I think she prefers a small wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay/page/2#post-2830482 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 10:38:41 +0000 Mamaof2 2830482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: heading to Capri this summer? :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay/page/2#post-2830448 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 07:20:08 +0000 hilary 2830448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends. We had a destination wedding but made it very clear to everyone that we understood if they couldn't come and knew they were happy for us regardless. So we had about 35 people and it was really nice to get to spend time with everyone. Weddings are hard whether they are destination or not though. Live in midwest and have friends that now live all over the country so most weddings I'm invited to are not local and require the same logistics and cost concerns so I just try to work out a way to go but assume they'll understand if we can't make it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2830439 Mon, 25 Jun 2018 05:16:43 +0000 Audreymaria 2830439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The three principle advantages of a goal wedding can be outlined with these words: basic, moderate and loose. Goal weddings can be such a great amount of less difficult to design and execute than near and dear weddings. Goal weddings are normally more affordable than nearby weddings. Wedding arranging is distressing and frequently family and companions can make show and disarray for the couple. Having a goal wedding wipes out a lot of worry since the wedding is far away and just a predetermined number of individuals can go to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776489 Fri, 29 Sep 2017 08:02:43 +0000 ElbieKay 2776489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think glamorous destination weddings are an inconsiderate imposition on your guests. The main exception is when the bride and/or groom have a connection to a particular place. But if you will be expecting a majority of your guests to purchase a plane ticket and spend precious vacation days for your wedding, it's inappropriate. (Obviously there will often be some non-local friends and family, so usually someone will have to travel.)</p> <p>We got married a 3hr drive from where we live because we wanted a rural setting, and we live in an urban center. That being said, it was possible to find a hotel for under $200/night, and the wedding lasted from 4pm to around 10pm. If someone really wanted to attend for just the day, it would have even been possible to drive up and back in one day. And we hosted a BBQ the night before and a brunch the next morning, so we at least provided some additional entertainment and meals if people stayed longer. Most of our guests drove up that morning and spent one night, but we had nice turnout at the BBQ too.</p> <p>This actually worked well because most of the "B-list" invitations were declined, and I wanted a smaller wedding anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776404 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 20:51:25 +0000 nana87 2776404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It depends on the destination. Is it convenient to airports? Are the hotels reasonably priced and near the venue, places to eat, etc? My family and social circle is really spread out all over the country so we had a ton of out of towners at our wedding (like, 2/3 almost) even though it was local for us. But it was in a city with multiple airports, venue was walking distance to hotels, etc. We recently went to a wedding in rural New England that was a huuuuuge pita to get to; it was beautiful but super remote and our hotel was far from the venue, and in traffic it was an 8 hour drive from our home. I’d have rather gone to the Caribbean or something like that in the end! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776390 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 19:36:57 +0000 SweetiePie 2776390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: I mean, not to beat a dead horse, but...I was pregnant at the time with my first. And I remember seeing a couple with a 2-ish year old in a backpack carrier walking up and down all the stairs through the alleyways and I literally said to DH "Over my dead body would I ever bring a child here" and that was before I ever truly understood just how difficult it would be.<br /> I guess some people are nomads at heart and just can't give up the adventures of travel, but...I love traveling but I want it to be a peaceful and enjoyable experience. So if we ever go back (which we'd like to) its 1) without kids OR 2) when they are much much older, like adults! </p> <p>I would maybe tell her that since you'd never given much thought to Capri you did some research and there's just no way you could do it with kids (citing all the reasons I mentioned above). And maybe suggest another more accessible and kid-friendly location in Italy? We've traveled internationally with my son 3 times - Israel, Mexico and Grand Cayman. Knowing what I know, I would absolutely do Europe or Italy in the 2-5 range if it was easily accessible and had stuff to do besides shop and eat (Parks, beaches, kids museums, etc). Rome would be fine for a kid, I think (besides logistics like how to get around, but mostly it was pretty walkable). I haven't been anywhere else in Italy, but I'm sure there are an abundance of beautiful cities that you could just fly into and enjoy.</p> <p>If she doesn't budge on Capri, I would honestly and truly say that you have to decline, or only DH goes...or you find someone to leave the kids with. Especially if you aren't seasoned travelers with kids (and I don't mean that in a condescending way, I don't even consider myself seasoned with kid-travels, I just mean that if you haven't done much travel with kids that is a REALLY ambitious trip to make). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776389 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 19:23:19 +0000 Alba4 2776389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: omg. You are making me hate my SIL right now!!! 🤣🤣🤣😩</p> <p>My SIL, bless her, is a dreamer. By next summer my kids will be 2 and 5 and your description sounds like hell for young kids!!!</p> <p>Let's hope she A. Gets engaged and B. Plans a local wedding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776376 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 17:42:21 +0000 SweetiePie 2776376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything has already been said, but wow - expecting guests to go to Capri is really a hassle. ESPECIALLY if your kids are required as flower girl or ring bearer.<br /> We went to Rome and Positano for our babymoon. We did a day trip to Capri from Positano.<br /> You literally have to take several modes of transport to get there and it’s HOURS of travel.<br /> From Rome we took a train to Napoli (but oF course you could fly right into Napoli but if I recall correctly it was much more expensive). Then from Napoli a 2+ hour Car ride on windy mountain roads to get to Positano OR a ferry from Napoli to Capri. Then to get to Capri from Positano (I imagine there are more hotel options in Positano? But maybe I’m wrong) it’s a 30-45 minute or so boat ride. Then when you get to Capri you have to take the funicular to the top (bottom near marina is a cheesy tourist trap). I mean, it was a pain in the ass as two lone adults. I can’t fathom that with kids.<br /> Once there it’s just very hilly with lots of walking and steps. Not really stroller friendly. There isn’t much to do on the actual Island of Capri besides nice restaurants and shopping and cafes - I.e. not kid friendly and there’s not really a beach (that I recall). It’s expensive AF. If you’re expected to stay in a hotel in Capri or heck even in Positano, it’s going to be SO EXPENSIVE for a tiny not very nice room. Like $1,000/night didn’t even get us a nice room - it looked like a prison cell with a really nice view.<br /> Honestly, I don’t think there could be a bigger pain-in-the-ass location for a destination wedding with kids.<br /> Now, if you could leave said kids home with your family for 5 Days...it could be an amazing trip.<br /> Hell to the naw with kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776370 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 16:46:32 +0000 KayKay 2776370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been to so few weddings that happen in the town/close to where I am currently living, that it honestly feels like most have been "destination" weddings. It's just a matter of how easy/expensive/convenient it was to travel and stay in that location. </p> <p>So, from my perspective, even without kids, I bailed on weddings that were for family/friends that I wasn't that close with. And I have gone on some since having kids that would be more like a destination thing (e.g., Paris) because logistically it was easier to do a week there than a short weekend trip to middle-of-nowhere PA. And clearly more fun :)</p> <p>So I guess I don't really care what people decide to do, as long as they are ok with me deciding whether it works for me/my family, for whatever reason, to attend or not!</p> <p>ETA: it's also a lot easier now because DH can actually take a normal amount of vacation. back in the wedding crazy days, he was a medical student, so blowing half his yearly vacation on one trip that someone else was choosing seemed dumb :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776359 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 16:19:22 +0000 gingerbebe 2776359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not a huge fan of destination weddings, only because most of the ones I've attended have not been well organized. Its just frustrating as a guest to travel a long distance and have to figure out stuff on the fly when you're not familiar with the area. The ones that HAVE been well planned were great, albeit expensive to attend. But because they were well planned, I felt like it was worth it. Since having kids, we've gone to 1 destination wedding (my BFF's so non negotiable) and his wedding was beautiful and well planned. BUT it was horrendously expensive on our end because we had to bring someone to watch our child and get a vacation rental big enough to accommodate us, etc. If it were anyone else, I would have declined. Destination weddings with kids is rough.</p> <p>All of our pre-marriage destination wedding experiences really influenced our own wedding plans. We had a stateside wedding that was sort of a destination in that almost everyone had to travel. We were located in a place where neither of our families lived, so we picked a nice place within an hour drive for us (easier for planning purposes), a 6 hour flight for DH's family, and a 6 hour drive for my family. We felt like that was probably the fairest way to handle it and it was a location where people could easily extend their visit if they wanted to make a vacation out of it.</p> <p>We also tried our very best to make it as comfortable for our guests as possible and kept the guest list very small so that we could maximize our budget for their comfort. Everyone stayed at 1 very reasonably priced hotel. We also covered accommodations for guests we knew couldn't afford to attend. We also grouped all the pre-wedding activities into that weekend so people didn't have to travel multiple times for us, since our bridal party was comprised of people who lived all over the earth. We hosted the rehearsal dinner AND my bridal shower at the hotel the day before the wedding and DH had his bachelor party that weekend so that all his friends and brother could attend. We hosted breakfast before our wedding at the hotel as well. We provided shuttle service from the hotel - church - reception - hotel so no one had to worry about driving, getting lost, or drinking. We had a morning wedding and a lunch/afternoon reception so people could rest up in the evening or explore the city if they desired. We did photos before the service to avoid the long lag before the reception, kept the service short, and chose a beautiful restaurant with good food and good views. We felt strongly that our wedding was our first act of hospitality as husband and wife and we wanted it to be a worthwhile experience for our guests who were undoubtedly taking vacation time and spending money to see us. </p> <p>Finally, one thing that really went a long way in terms of goodwill with our friends and extended family was that we left money in our budget to travel to our respective hometowns to do a meet and greet with friends/family who could not attend. My family declined to do this, but DH's family took us up on it and we had a reception back in his hometown about a month after our wedding and every family member with kids and elderly relative within a 500 mile radius came for a simple luncheon and cake at the family church's hall (its what a typical wedding reception would have looked like in DH's hometown). We had pictures from our wedding out for people to see, my ILs picked decor in our wedding colors, the pastor gave a blessing and introduced us, and they had little speeches. It was really sweet. Multiple people told us they were originally miffed about our choice to have a destination wedding (including DH's grandmother), but that this made them feel included and happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776317 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 13:58:30 +0000 psw27 2776317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pretty much every wedding we've ever been to has involved travel. It's much more complicated now that we have kids (we usually fly one of our moms in to watch the LOs) but it is worth it to be there for our friends! We had a destination wedding as well because we live in a city where we have no family. I like to think I was very understanding when people couldn't make it since it involved travel for every single guest. </p> <p>The one international (tropical) destination wedding we went to was overpriced and weird - it ended up that we had to book through their travel agent so that the bride and groom got perks like room upgrades, a free honeymoon, etc. I felt taken advantage of in addition to spending $5000 to go to their wedding. It made a lot of us eye roll pretty hard to hear how they had a butler for their room when we all knew it was because we booked through their more expensive travel agent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776313 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 13:42:13 +0000 alphagam84 2776313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pre-kid me would have been all in! Post-kid me: Do we have to go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776293 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 12:42:56 +0000 DesertDreams88 2776293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, not a fan, especially not for foreign ones ($$$$ compared to $$). If I'm going to fly outside of the US, I want to plan it all myself and make it a longer trip to cut down the "cost per day" in my head. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776252 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 11:10:31 +0000 kiddosc 2776252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not generally a fan. I think it's a huge ask to expect your guests to fork out a grand or more just to attend your wedding at an all-inclusive resort somewhere. Yes, there is always the option to not attend, but if it's your best friend or sibling, that's going to be a big hit to the relationship no matter how much anyone says they understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776248 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 11:00:12 +0000 looch 2776248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Destination weddings sound good in practice, but my husband is really against both of us being a plane ride away from our son. What we typically have done is to have one of us attend and the other stays home or all three of us go with the understanding that we won't be able to participate in every single wedding related event. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776246 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 10:55:08 +0000 Shantuck 2776246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I generally wouldn't mind a destination wedding that is easy to get to but Capri is not that. It is a very difficult place to get to (and crazy expensive to stay there, which is why most visitors just come in for the day). I can't imagine bringing young kids there. I went there for my honeymoon. We flew into Rome, then took a train to Naples, then took a hydrofoil boat to Capri, then gave our luggage to our hotel porters and took the funicular into town, and then walked up a huge hill to get to our hotel (the streets are too narrow to take a taxi in some parts)... With that said, it was one of the most charming places I have ever been to but it was certainly a production to get there and we were just two adults who packed relatively lightly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776244 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 10:48:14 +0000 avivoca 2776244@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I liked them before kids but now that I have kids, it’s just a hassle. I missed one this year because it was in BFE upstate New York and flight+car+hotel would have been almost $2k for our family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776242 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 10:41:13 +0000 raspberries 2776242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always thought destination weddings are fun, both before kids and after. I've never been pressured to go to one though - everyone I've known having one has been super understanding if we haven't been able to make it happen. I think a lot of people put pressure on themselves to go, and then are defensive if they can't make it happen, even if the actual couple getting married is fine with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776219 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 09:57:05 +0000 Truth Bombs 2776219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I seem to be the opposite of everyone else. Pre kids I thought destination weddings were a hassle because I want to use my vacation time and money to take a trip that I pick, not that someone else picks. And back then I was traveling enough that I wasn't hankering for a fun trip away. Now that I have two kids I would LOVE the excuse to go on a destination wedding and leave them with my parents. It would absolve my guilt about leaving them because I'd be doing it because someone else requested it of me :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776199 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 09:02:55 +0000 ShootingStar 2776199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a big proponent of the wedding couple having whatever kind of wedding they want, but knowing that people may choose not to come.</p> <p>We almost had a destination wedding ourselves, though the destination would have been in the continental US. But I knew almost all of our friends would not go, and that wasn't the kind of wedding I wanted.</p> <p>We've been to one destination wedding and it was fine. It was in FL and we had my parents watch DS for a few days. It wasn't super expensive or onerous. And I knew all along that this particular friend's wedding would be destination. She's a friend of DH's, one of his closest, and she and her BF came to our wedding from China. After our wedding they moved to Vancouver (where he's from). At one point I was worried they'd get married in China (which I knew would break the bank) but no matter what I knew we'd need to go to it wherever it was, and there's no way it was going to be local to us. I thought we got off easy with FL, lol.</p> <p>But now that we have two kids, my parents don't live driving distance, and my dad's sick, destination weddings will probably not be happening for us, but luckily I don't know very many people that would be getting married any time soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776192 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:51:01 +0000 birdofafeather 2776192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went to two different ones in Maui when we were engaged and newly married and they were awesome (one I was a bridesmaid in as well as the photog but it still cost me!). One trip we extended to see friends on Oahu and another we just went for 5-6 days. Now I don't know that I would do it for anyone other than family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776189 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:48:19 +0000 hellobeeboston 2776189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since we've had kids we've had to miss 3 destination weddings :( :( One was just WAY too costly to bring all four of us, and i was still nursing my little one and didn't want to leave him, and along the same lines, another was no kids, and i was still nursing, so we would've had to bring a family member or babysitter, and $$$. And the other was also too expensive!</p> <p>I think its a great idea for people who want to keep it small since it will exclude many with small kids... NOW, a wedding in Capri sounds like HEAVEN... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776180 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:40:52 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2776180@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Pre-kids, I'd be all about it! Post-kids, it's hard for us to find a baby sitter, and the expense of bringing them along for a wedding where we'd have to turn in early and worry about naps doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun for me. If I'm going to a destination wedding, I want to leave the kiddos at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776179 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:40:51 +0000 periwinklebee 2776179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think they're great as long as people have low expectations for friends to come given what a big ask it is, and it's feasible for the wedding party/close family to make it without imposing a huge burden. I personally would not want one, as I wanted lots of our family and friends - many who have kids, health problems, etc - to be able to attend, plus there were lots of amazing places close to us that were meaningful. We have gone to a couple destination weddings when we could, but had to say no to various ones because of expense, leave time, zika, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776178 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:40:03 +0000 Alivoo01 2776178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're going to one in December. I think it'll be fine since there will be other kids there so that makes a difference versus if no other kids were going.</p> <p>My cousin in Australia told us he's getting married soon, which I'm excited about! I'm definitely not looking forward to footing the airfare plus hotel and enduring the long flight with two kids though! lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776174 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:34:02 +0000 erinbaderin 2776174@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it depends. Six years ago my oldest friend had one and it was fantastic - a great group of people, a nice resort. That being said we had the vacation time and money available and were happy to get to spend a week at an AI. These days it would depend on a lot of factors. With that being said I don't have strong opinions on them - if that's what people want then I think that's great, as long as they're willing to accept that some people may not be able to make it. We have definitely declined DWs in the past, even before kids, because it just wasn't feasible. The only person who I would attend for no matter what would be my brother, and that would be fine anyway because all my family would be there to help with childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776169 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:25:46 +0000 snowjewelz 2776169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It really depends! I was a bridesmaid in one when I was young &amp; single, so that was fun! Married but without kids, it would depend on who/where and if we have the budget for it. If it's someone super close I'd go no matter what. If not, then I'd consider budget. Now that I have kids, it would be so tough to go esp if it's no kids. I think when #2 is at least 1 and if they can go, then I'd consider going! </p> <p>I'd add that most destinations weddings I was a part of or was invited too were at some beachy all inclusive so to me it's "easy". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776168 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:22:44 +0000 skinnycow 2776168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not a fan. We're paying 3-4k to go to a destination wedding next summer and I think that's a big burden to put on your family/friends. We can afford it but we're expecting baby #2 and we're also trying to save up for a new house.</p> <p>ETA - We would probably decline attending most destination weddings but this one is my brother's so no choice lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/destination-weddings-yay-or-nay#post-2776160 Thu, 28 Sep 2017 07:25:24 +0000 Littlebit7 2776160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll also add that we were recently invited to a wedding in a reallly far off country where the bride and groom are from. Like...really far. More than 24 hours of travel to a third world country in the Caucasus region.<br /> We had a week of "banked" babysitting from my parents.<br /> So we decided to go.And rolled in a baby moon into the trip in another country on the way home. </p> <p>It was expensive. I'll just throw that out there first off. We used points and miles where we could and fortunately the country was very very inexpensive. But it was one of the more expensive trips we have ever taken. It was also the last trip we will probably take for a long while just the two of us as #2 arrives soon.<br /> It was a once in a lifetime trip and experience that we never ever would have had if we hadn't been invited to the wedding and I'm thankful we were able to go. That said, it would have been impossible with a kid. There were family members of the bride and groom who made the haul and they were all pretty much miserable.<br /> The vast majority of guests were single, DINKS, or family who absolutely had to be there. But everyone spent a lot of money and had to take at least a week off of work.<br /> @Foodnerd81: no I totally get it. It's a very real consideration. And with this hurricane season I'm not sure if anyone will be thinking Caribbean for a season or two unfortunately. There are a lot of domestic places one could choose and still have it be a destination for lots of people but I find that brides and grooms say "oooh lets go somewhere exotic and have our family and friends along". Exotic is hard and expensive. People tend to have blinders on when it comes to wedding planning or a "well I did xyz for X friend so they should do that for me"<br /> Yet Florida, SC beaches, Maine, cali could all be pretty amazing destination weddings yet no one considers them. </p>