https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 20:57:07 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93806 Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:22:02 +0000 BoogieBea 93806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I leave detailed instructions for the grandmas when they watch LO. It's even bilingual (english/chinese) since my mom can't read english. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93720 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 20:50:00 +0000 mrstilly 93720@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When DS was younger I just said that we were following our trusted pediatrician's advice, just as they did back when. But I never left DS alone with anyone until 3 months when I went back to work. My (awesome) SIL and step mom split daycare for the first week then DH was home for the summer. </p> <p>My stepmom follows my wishes but she and my dad live farther away. I don't leave DS with my impasse because they don't follow my wishes. They put him in episode when he has stuffed pocket diapers ready to go, MIL won't put him down awake and will get him at the littlest peep. She also has NO respect for DS's schedule and won't put him down to sleep when I ask or will wake him up when she wants. For the first time ever DH and I are going out for a night date next weekend. I'm leaving DS with my inlaws, but my SIL is going to be there to make sure DS eats and gets to bed on time. She lives next door, so she will stay there til we get back. I just don't trust my MIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93683 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 20:13:32 +0000 aunt pol 93683@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: You're a saint that you haven't swung for the mad old biddy already:)<br /> Thankfully there are already 8 nieces and nephews on DH's side, and his parents are great- they'll always help but they're really not the type to insist on doing things their way. Yay! My two younger SILs might be a problem though, (the childless ones, naturally) they already think they know everything from babysitting and would argue the sky was green if it suited them. My family is now my dad and my brother- brother has two young sons so has a fair idea, and my dad is 81 and quite wobbly so he definitely won't be doing any unsupervised baby care at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93659 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:51:47 +0000 BSB 93659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will probably do this but I have a feeling MIL will be offended that I think she doesn't know how to take care of a baby. Ugh! I need to take note of this, I can probably bet money she will do this when we have kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93657 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 19:48:18 +0000 mediagirl 93657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: you make me so happy that my MIL and FIL live 12 hours away and don't travel much!!! I'd rather have them far away than super nearby, available whenever they want to "help out." </p> <p>My parents were in Seattle this week visiting my brother, SIL and new nephew (4mo old). Mom knows better but told me she put the baby on his belly in his crib when she went to help SIL in the kitchen. I scolded her even though she said SIL already freaked out on her about him being on his belly. </p> <p>I think grandparents need to follow the parents rules. If they don't, they don't get to watch the LO's alone. Nuff said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93633 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 18:58:30 +0000 littleveesmommy 93633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove - My mom used to insist I feed LO every time she makes a peep too! But I think she finally got the hint after I was able to read LOs cries and calm her without stuffing my boob at her. </p> <p>We haven't left LO with anyone yet, but I totally trust my mom since she was with me a lot during LOs first month. The only thing I had to be very firm on is that she can't feed LO water before 6 months. She fought this at first saying me and my siblings were all fed water and we turned out just fine. It took lots of reminding her that this is what we want before she agreed not to do it, although she doesn't agree with the reasoning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93632 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 18:57:59 +0000 littleveesmommy 93632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove - My mom used to insist I feed LO every time she makes a peep too! But I think she finally got the hint after I was able to read LOs cries and calm her without stuffing my boob at her. </p> <p>We haven't left LO with anyone yet, but I totally trust my mom since she was with me a lot during LOs first month. The only thing I had to be very firm on is that she can't feed LO water before 6 months. She fought this at first saying me and my siblings were all fed water and we turned out just fine. It took lots of reminding her that this is what we want before she agreed not to do it, although she doesn't agree with the reasoning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93618 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 18:33:13 +0000 cupcakemama 93618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I give my Mum detailed instructions. She takes notes, which is so cute!</p> <p>Putting baby to sleep on its back is a non- negotiable. Do it or don't watch baby. I'd be like @owlmom, throw out the stats and the guilt!</p> <p>@Rubies: I shouldn't laugh but omg. Your mil is a complete nutbag! Your LO is fussy, therefore autistic. Which can be diagnosed from a photo. Nut.bag. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93519 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:36:31 +0000 owlmom 93519@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I'm guessing you've already told her that sleeping on the back is to decrease the risk of SIDS, but could you also try sharing with her the statistics showing the drastic reduction in the incidence of SIDS since we started putting babies to sleep on their backs? I'd also throw in a heavy dose of guilt - something along the lines of "would you be able to forgive yourself if something happened to baby because you didn't follow my requests? Because it certainly won't be easy for me to forgive you." My family is all about pressure through guilt :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93501 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:12:10 +0000 heffalump 93501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Oh wow. Your mil IS annoying! Your husband better appreciate you for putting up with her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93497 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:07:43 +0000 chopsuey 93497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: ugh. your MIL is so annoying. :P I think it's funny that your husband tells you! I mean, way to make you dislike her more :P :D </p> <p>I haven't left my LO with anyone during the day.. we left her a handful of times after I put her down for the night, so instructions were simple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93496 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:07:33 +0000 heffalump 93496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Oh.... than I guess all you can do is tell her what you want and hope she listens. That's a hard one because it's not just waking up a sleeping baby, which would only make your mom's life harder because she'd be dealing with a grumpy baby. It's about your LO's life. Hope your mom understands that and listens to you, and have fun at the wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93495 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:07:30 +0000 Rubies 93495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: OMG, you just reminded me of another story. My MIL knows a retired doctor and asked him to take a look at some pictures of LO to determine whether or not she is autistic because according to my MIL, "a baby isn't colicky/fussy/cranky for no reason". When MIL told this to me, I almost died. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93494 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:04:01 +0000 autumnlove 93494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: i wish...we are visiting my parents this week and DH and I are leaving LO this weekend to attend a wedding! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93492 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:02:43 +0000 heffalump 93492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Lol, my husband would scream at his mom if she talked like that about me! But luckily we have only had one issue- and that's when I said I think LO has reflux and she said no she's just fussy and has gas. I almost screamed at her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93486 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 14:57:06 +0000 Rubies 93486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: My hubs knows his mother is nutso. Sometimes I mimic my MIL and hubs thinks it's hilarious. When MIL calls him, he rolls his eyes, and says to her, "Uh-huh...uh-huh...uh-huh...uh-huh...yeah...yeah...uh-huh. Okay, bye." Then he hangs up and says, "My mother doesn't think you know what you're doing." LOL!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93409 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:59:28 +0000 heffalump 93409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Wow. How does your husband respond to that? Hope he sticks up for you! Or is it just easier to agree and not start a fight? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93407 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:58:09 +0000 Rubies 93407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: In the past, MIL would come over and say, "Why don't you go out for a few hours, I'll stay here with LO" and I would go. But I later learned that while I was out, she would totally just ignore everything I asked her to do regarding LO. So now, when she comes over and tells me to go out, I just say something like, "Oh no, there's nothing I need to do today." I think she kind of knows that I don't trust her, though. Heh heh. But you know what else? EVERY SINGLE TIME she's over, she sees the things I do with LO (how I change her, feed her, play with her, etc.) and she promptly calls her son (my hubs) that night and says things like, "You know, I saw Rubies feeding LO today and I think her puree was too thick. You should really check the puree to make sure Rubies isn't giving her anything she can choke on. Also, I saw how Rubies changed LO's diaper and didn't use diaper cream. You should really make sure Rubies uses it." Etc. UGH! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93406 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:57:13 +0000 heffalump 93406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: Take note from @Rubies. Either she follows your rules or she can't take care of your LO on her own. Even if she doesn't think it's right to put them on their back, you're the parent and you get to make the decisions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93405 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:55:52 +0000 autumnlove 93405@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@artbee: maybe I will leave a note on the crib about putting LO on her back. Everytime I bring it up to my Mom...she says she trusts the advice our pediatrician gave her in the 70s and not the modern guidelines! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93402 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:52:40 +0000 heffalump 93402@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: Go you! Is she upset that she can't watch your LO anymore? You'd think she'd just follow the rules so she'd be able to babysit your LO alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93401 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:51:41 +0000 Rubies 93401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is able to follow my rules but my MIL? She totally just ignores my written instructions. So I stopped letting her watch LO alone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93400 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:51:40 +0000 heffalump 93400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't leave them for my mom because she has spent a lot of time with LO and I together so she knows our routine. But I did leave very detailed instructions for my inlaws the first time they babysat. We also have some post in notes in different places- like a sign that says "Please always strap LO in" on top of the changing table. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93399 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:49:36 +0000 Andrea 93399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only my parents have watched the DD and yes, I wrote them a whole manual but they take it pretty seriously and like to follow the rules. I think they realize that this makes it a lot easier on them since I know what works and they do not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/detailed-directions-for-your-parents#post-93395 Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:44:14 +0000 autumnlove 93395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you leave detailed directions/tips for your parents &amp; in laws when they watch your LO? I think I need to remind my mom to not fill the Dr. Brown bottles past the capacity line, not to overfeed her and put the baby on her back when she sleeps...</p> <p>I just hope my mom pays attention because everytime my LO makes a sound she wants me to feed her! </p>