https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 05:04:15 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201979 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 11:12:55 +0000 kristinleigh 2201979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: agree with this 1000000000% </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201757 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 08:19:51 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2201757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like a lot of this you guys just need to really discuss and determine your priorities. You can't always have it all (aka have free time and save for 50% down payment). You need to work together to determine whats best for you guys. </p> <p>Personally, I feel like Life is too short to not live it. We chose to do less of a down payment and get into a house sooner. When we were younger, instead of saving a ton for a house, we took a ski trip and enjoyed our time together. But you have to decide what is right for you guys. </p> <p>I would also really suggest talking to a realtor or family/friends that own a house about buying a forclosure. In the end, they may not always be cheaper. They can have a lot of hidden issues that can be costly because they often do not have a complete sellers disclosure and they are sold As-Is. If you are scared of a mortgage, what about just renting for a while longer? </p> <p>I agree with Looch - you can never be 100% sure of anything. There is not a clear right or wrong/ ready or not path. You and your husband need to decide whats best for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201689 Mon, 08 Jun 2015 06:20:20 +0000 looch 2201689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have two things to add:</p> <p>1. You can never be 100% sure of anything in life.<br /> 2. If you have to ask, the answer is usually no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201633 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 22:25:37 +0000 BabyTsMom 2201633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi, it seems your heart is heavy with a lot of things. I would say regarding his birthday present (not sure if I should even contribute, since we don't really exchange gifts anymore, haha)-- how about some new gym clothes or bag or a weight belt or something he can use while working out? Or an NFL jersey for the team that he loves? Or even taking him out to do something you both enjoy, like a previous poster said?<br /> Regarding whether he's ready for kids, only you two can really decide that. I think it's great that he's working hard for the future, and it seems that he's not set on working two jobs forever. It sounds like he really does want a child; do you? If you are not as eager to have a child soon, then perhaps the first step would be to be honest with your husband about that. The worst thing would be for you to agree to have a baby just because your husband wants one. Good luck to you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201629 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 22:17:26 +0000 DesertDreams88 2201629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jasmine: you covered a lot of different topics here with lots of different questions, which makes it hard to respond. You would probably get better feedback if you broke it into different posts.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201588 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 21:00:34 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2201588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dh has a few things he's mentioned wanting so I'm getting that for anniversary/fathers day coming up. Yours sounds like he needs something to relax. A massage? Something fitnessy? Session with a trainer? I don't know, he does sound difficult to buy for. </p> <p>As far as timing ttc goes, I think it's something you need to address together. If you don't think you're ready, wait. Because it's not easy having a baby, and it's definitely not easy with a dh working crazy hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201536 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 19:41:55 +0000 simplyfelicity 2201536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jasmine: Wow. You covered a lot of ground here. There is no right or wrong of when to have a baby, what to get your husband for his birthday, how many jobs to have, what's normal or not normal...I honestly recommend that you see a therapist or counselor to talk out these anxieties and develop confidence about the decisions you make. The most important thing you can do is be happy and have peace with your life without analyzing everything. I say this as a person who has been in therapy for years. Don't rob yourself of joy and peace.<br /> As far as his birthday goes, what about NFL tickets? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201450 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 16:20:06 +0000 Mrs.Someone 2201450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should talk to your husband about this and not poll internet strangers... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201376 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 13:15:08 +0000 thestairs 2201376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The reason why he working 2 jobs right now is because I keep telling my husband that I want 50% house down-payment.<br /> I told him that all our lives we both are debt-free so I want to stay that way. So we need to pay the house in cash as much as possible.</p> <p>None of us have College degree, so we don't have any college debt. We also doesn't have any Credit-card debt, we pay our credit card bills on time very month. We both have perfect credit scores.</p> <p>He said he is tired, but it just one year so he can do it. He said he can't met my goal of 50% house payment if he doesn't work 2 jobs.<br /> We plan to buy a foreclosure house, but it still expensive since I want 50% down-payment.<br /> I don't like debt, I don't like mortgage, so I want to pay as less mortgage as we can.</p> <p>I did try asked him if he can quit his 2nd job, and he asked me if I still insist on the the 50% house down-payment?</p> <p>I answered him, I said I still want the 50% house down-payment.<br /> And he said he have to work 2 jobs to make that happen. Foreclosure house is cheaper but need fixing too, so we need to save money to fix the house. You know what he trying to say?</p> <p>You right Ms. Thou, my husband also said that foreclosure house can be a bit of work, so we need to have money ready for that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201352 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 12:05:58 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2201352@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would consider waiting until later in 2015 to really start TTC so when baby would be born in 2016 when he had more time. Also a foreclosure house often requires a bit of work that would be nice to have done before the baby. </p> <p>For his birthday I would consider an activity you guys could do together that you wouldn't or couldn't do pregnant or with a baby. Like a cooking class, join a fitness boot camp class or something like that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201349 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 11:54:52 +0000 thestairs 2201349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Right now I'm at the edge of want my husband to quit his 2nd job. I told him, we poor so we be frugal. We can survive with just his 1 job and my 1 job income.<br /> I need more time with him, on weekend only have HALF a day with him; he left to work to his 2nd job, and I miss him.</p> <p>BUT he wants to work this 2nd job. He said we need the money to pay for mortgage when we buy our house. We need money for the baby too, and we need save up money for rainy days, blah blah...<br /> I don't know what is wrong with him, he have an obsession with saving money. He always think ahead to secure the future. Is my husband NORMAL?</p> <p>What would you do if you in my situation? Would you let him continue to work 2 jobs until next year so we can save up more money. Or he should quit his 2nd job now?</p> <p>This suck, especially when we are a poor couple with No college degree got married. And he is an abnormal husband who have an obsession with working and saving money.</p> <p>May I ask those that have a husband that is workaholic, and loves to save money like my husband, can you share your experience? Does it effect your marriage in the long run? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201348 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 11:54:17 +0000 thestairs 2201348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>May I ask all the mommies and mommies-to-be out there, when did you know you you ready for a baby? Like how do you know that you ready to have a baby? This is important, because I'm still trying to figure out if I'm ready to have a baby.<br /> I know I love my husband, but love is one thing, have a baby is another thing.</p> <p>I don't think right now is the right time to TTC, because my husband is working 2 jobs, everyday he work 12-14 hours including weekend. He work as a local Truck driver and he works at the Warehouse.<br /> Warehouse job is tired because all he do is loading/Unloading, stacking, lifting, carrying heavy stuff all day.<br /> It not like he sitting in the office, but I know he works hard for our future.</p> <p>If now I get pregnant, how he ready to help me take care of the baby when he work this much? And baby cries all night, it will disturb his sleep. How he going to have enough rest to continue working long hours tomorrow?</p> <p>His 2nd job is only temporary, just for one year so we can have enough money save up for a small house down-payment. Next year in 2016 he will be back working 1 job, I think that is the better time to TTC</p> <p>But I'm still not sure if I want to be a mommy or if I really want kids or not. This year I'm already 30 years old, it not like I'm young anymore.</p> <p>I know it would break his heart if I took away his baby wish. This is first marriage for both and he always wanted to be a dad.<br /> Everytime he see neighbors little kids running around playing in the playground; he always ask me when am I going to give him a baby, when we going to have a baby.</p> <p>I'm not even pregnant yet, and sometimes he would kiss my stomach. He and said when I'm pregnant, he wants to kiss my stomach everyday for 9 Months until the baby born.<br /> I can already tell our future baby will be spoil rotten, still in stomach not even born yet and already have daddy kisses everyday.</p> <p>Can baby feel it when daddy kiss the stomach? Perhaps when I'm pregnant and he kiss my stomach, I should tell baby to kick him, KICK daddy and kick HARD, LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-30th-birthday-is-he-ready-to-be-a-dad-should-we-ttc-in-2016-please-vote-on-poll#post-2201347 Sun, 07 Jun 2015 11:53:33 +0000 thestairs 2201347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello, sorry for the bad English grammars, English is my third language.</p> <p>Asking those who are married/or in long-term relationship. Can you share: What did you get for your spouse/SO for B-day?<br /> What you do to show him/her your appreciation? Like what your plan for your spouse B-Day? What you buy for him/her as gifts? Beside the obvious, you know, sex...</p> <p>If you have time and want to help give me ideas on what to get for my husband 30th B-Day, then please read on.<br /> If not, then please share what did you get/or do for your Spouse/SO B-day? so I can get ideas and learn more from you, thank you.</p> <p>-------------------------------------------------------<br /> Warning: long post ahead...</p> <p>My husband B-day will be coming up and I'm trying to make it memorable 30th B-day for him. But he is the type of guy that kindda hard to buy gifts for, he doesn't have much hobies; and we both is just a boring couple. I'm boring and he's boring, so we match and we married each others, lol</p> <p>But this is his birthday as our first year together as 'married couple'. So I want it to be more than just give him Money or give him Gift Cards.<br /> I need help with plan for his birthday or B-day gifts ideas. Or ideal ways to show my appreciation to him on his B-day. You know beside the the obvious, sex..</p> <p>I have a husband that is kindda hard to buy him gifts, he not typical. He doesn't have much hobbies. He have "self-controlled" and he 'level-headed".<br /> I tell about his daily lifestyle and his hobbies, it probably help narrow down what he likes. I still don't know how to plan his b-day. </p> <p>Husband is a Hygiene freak and he is a Health freak. He does NOT drink, he does NOT smoke, NOT even smoke a cigarette.<br /> He's quite sensitive when it come to the drinking alcohol topic, because lost his older sister in a car crash accident caused by a drunk driver. He hates drunk drivers, no way he will let any alcohol in his bloodstream.</p> <p>He work for a Truck company. Being a local Truck driver required No DUI, No DOT violations, passed all drugs or alcohol test. Passed all background check, and passed all random drugs test too.<br /> So working at this job, drugs and drinking is out of the question for him. So no Whisky, no beer, no alcohol as presents, it Not an option. Both of us Doesn't drink or smoke.</p> <p>He responsible with his money, he make sure he put money in his Saving account every month.<br /> He have perfect Credit scores. He Debt-free, never have Credit-card debt. None of us have any kind of debt, we both debt-free and we both like to stay this way.<br /> I don't think he wants to open another Credit-card, he not a big spender.</p> <p>He have a big Van car, and a motorcycle. Which both he bought with his own money and pay it off himself, he had these prior met me. He doesn't need another Van/car or motorcycle for his B-Day.</p> <p>He doesn't really have much hobbies. He doesn't like to play Video games, he have zero interest in video games. And I never saw him play it, just not his thing.<br /> He thinks that the hours play game, those hours he can go work to make money instead.</p> <p>He also never go online, unless he needs to put in an online application for a job. He already have a laptop, he doesn't need another one when he never go online.<br /> All communications are through his Cell phone, perhaps I should get him a new cell phone for his B-Day? But we both already have Smartphone.</p> <p>He doesn't even like to watch TV unless it is News, he loves loves News. He will died if he don't watch News or one day, lol<br /> Oh, he loves NFL Football, News and NFL Football would make him happy.<br /> I do encourage him to go watch NFL Football with his childhood buddies, because I don't know anything about Football. Perhaps let him freely go hang out with his buddies on his B-day?</p> <p>He likes to go to Gym to work out, keep his body stay fit and in shape. He 6'1 and he weight 170 lbs, so he is an average weight guy.<br /> He also likes Guns, the both outdoor and indoor shooting ranges. But uh... not something I like.</p> <p>He loves to read Newspapes and Books. But he only like 2 type of books, that is 'War" books sand 'Politics" books.<br /> I did get him a "War" book for his B-Day once, but he pretty much have all the Books that he likes.</p> <p>And clothes, he have his own 'style' of clothes. So I don't go shopping for his clothes, maybe just a jacket.<br /> Food? he have all different food dishes that I cook for him everyday. Even when he work late at night, I still cook for him in the middle of the night so he can have fresh meals to eat. Cooking for him on his B-Day is like cooking for him everyday, nothing really special.</p> <p>I don't know what to get for my husband his B-day. Beside gifts, I was thinking maybe if we can go on a weekend trip. Maybe see if he can get a day off?<br /> He drive the Local truck, his route is local so he is home with me every night, it just that he works long hours.<br /> He said he works hard so we can have enough money to buy a house. To save money for our future and our baby future, and to save money for rainy days. </p> <p> To him work is survival, work is secure his future. When we dating he work one job, now married he work 2 jobs including weekend, we trying to buy a small house. </p> <p> He have baby fever, so he probably wants a baby for his B-Day present, lol<br /> But I told him we TTC in 2016, I want to spend one year with him before we have a baby.<br /> Fortunately, his 2nd job is just temporary for one year. Until next year when we buy a small foreclosure house he will be back working 1 job, it a better time to TTC</p> <p>If you are a boring couple like us, or if you have a husband like my husband. What's your plan for his B-Day? Like what would you get for him, or how would you plan for his birthday?</p> <p>------------------------------------------------<br /> I wanted to add a POLL to this thread, may I get your opinion. Please vote if you think if my husband is ready to be a dad. Should I go as plan and TTC in 2016 next year? He sure have baby fever.</p> <p>I think age does not define if someone ready to be a dad or not, so my husband turning 30 years old doesn't means much. It all depend on the guy maturity and responsible enough.</p> <p>He is an awesome husband, it just that he just love to work and love to save money. Because to him have saving money give him security for the future.<br /> But this is his first marriage, he never have baby before, so I'm not sure if he ready. </p>