https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 17 Apr 2026 22:58:04 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2758257 Fri, 14 Jul 2017 07:34:17 +0000 looch 2758257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have the Sonos speakers in the living room, playroom and master bedroom. My husband has it configured so that each room can play different music.</p> <p>We use either Pandora or Google Play for music. We have certain preset stations that we listen to, my son isn't a fan of kids music, so we're usually playing Sunny Radio (70s hits), George Winston (piano instrumental) or the Ed Sheeran channel. At night, we have this relaxing station set and we listen to it while reading books (instrumental).</p> <p>As far as rules, there aren't many, to be honest. We don't have cable and only use Netflix or You Tube and that's pretty restricted. My son also has an Amazon Echo Dot in his room and he regularly listens to music in there, his fav is Bruno Mars right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2758160 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:33:09 +0000 codeitall 2758160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Tell me more about Sonos? I love music and so does DS so this could be awesome! When do you typically have it playing/what are your rules around it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2758159 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:31:04 +0000 codeitall 2758159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I think you're really getting to the root of my annoyance with the situation. I find it so frustrating when my time with DS is about experiences and doing things and DH's is about him getting time to play games. And DH is still the favorite parent! Bah. I think adding that bit as a footnote to our conversation last night helped DH see why I'm so insistent about no screen time. Netflix shouldn't be the substitute parent, and even more so if you aren't doing anything productive while he's busy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2758154 Thu, 13 Jul 2017 15:19:44 +0000 codeitall 2758154@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I talked to DH yesterday about how every few weeks we go through the same song and dance of needing to cut back on screen time. A few months ago, we just flat out hid the TV in our closet a couple times. Frequently, he agrees that we need to cut back, but he'd prefer to watch DS for cues for 'when he's done' and I just had to tell him that wasn't working and we weren't doing that anymore. @gingerbebe: you're spot on, moderation just ends up failing<br /> massively. Either DS never is 'done' watching or DH is distracted and misses the cues anyway. </p> <p>@looch: You're right that DH doesn't handle absolutes well when I give them, but... if he is guided to those conclusions, he'll volunteer going cold turkey as a solution :)</p> <p>To be fair to DH, he did try to put down DS around 10, but DS used his words (a huge deal for us right now) to ask for another puzzle before sleep. That's when bedtime went off the tracks.</p> <p>@ShootingStar: DS usually has a later bedtime because he still takes long naps at daycare and since I'm transitioning out of my maternity leave still, daycare pickup is at 3. So our routines currently have a lot of 'blank space' I suppose you could say.</p> <p>We have a weeklong vacation coming up and I intend to use it as a detox. We'll be uninstalling Netflix from DH's phone so DS can't watch it there (it has never been on mine, so he doesn't associate Netflix with my phone), hiding the TV again (we're planning on moving, so we'll just do that early) and DH will be following the rule of no computers while DS is awake.</p> <p>@pwnstar: You're right, I think that this could be a motivation for an earlier bedtime for DS :) And it was a particularly frank conversation, but he agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757807 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 20:37:18 +0000 BSB 2757807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH always needs the TV on like when he sleeps for background music and just always watching something. </p> <p>He watches it in our bedroom. I was on bed rest for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy and I can tell you I turned on the TV in my hospital room about 5 times. Granted, I was on my phone or iPad instead of watching TV, but it was so nice to have a quiet room to myself. Maybe it was nesting or relaxation before the twins came. </p> <p>As for when the twins got here, my MIL would have the TV on when she watched them. After a couple months and seeing my MIL turn their chair around to face the tv to watch cartoons, I knew it was too much. I told her that I wanted the TV off while the babies were awake. I gave her a link to the APA's stance on screen time. She agreed. </p> <p>Now that they are older, we have started using iPads for travel. Two back to back one week vacations got them hooked and we resorted to them, as well. We are back home and the iPad's will be put away and saved for the longer car rides. Which hopefully will be a few weeks since I'm a bit tired from road trips we've done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757800 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 20:10:35 +0000 nana87 2757800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lo1 thinks our tv is broken-- she couldn't handle limits we set on it so now it's never on when she is awake and home. Its been since last December and taking it away totally has made such a great impact on her behavior. I took Netflix off my phone so she couldn't use it and she only gets my phone when I'm nursing lo2 (she has a few apps, like endless alphabet, that are educational and looks at pictures).</p> <p>That said, dh was totally on board (actually he is the one who initiated the change). It took both of us being committed to taking screen time away for it to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757796 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 20:00:07 +0000 wrkbrk 2757796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, chiming in. We can't turn anything on while DS is awake bc if we do he'll whine to watch. Same goes for phones. They actually can't be sitting out while he is awake or he'll ask for videos. It's awful in some respects but nice in others! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757763 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 18:04:16 +0000 codeitall 2757763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow you guys are awesome! I'll get a longer reply in later when I'm not on my phone! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757662 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 14:36:54 +0000 gingerbebe 2757662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolute or cold turkey is really the only way to deal with people who truly have an addiction. If OP's husband is addicted to screen time (which it sounds like he is) and its enough of an issue where they have talked about limiting screen time for their son multiple times (which she said in her post), then I don't see how else you deal with the situation other than having some kind of hard fast rule about screens like "no screens while the kid is up." </p> <p>If OP's husband wants to stay up super late gaming and chatting on Reddit, that's on him, but absolutes have to come into play with his son if he cannot exercise moderation. If OP's husband gets sucked into his game and doesn't notice the time is 11pm and that his son is still awake watching TV, then he just can't game while the son is awake. Kids bedtimes are earlyish anyway, it seems like not a huge deal to say like the hours of 5pm-8pm are screentime free or whatever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757653 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 14:30:03 +0000 ShootingStar 2757653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm confused as to how the 11pm thing happened. What is your routine? </p> <p>For us our nights look something like this:</p> <p>5:30 Arrive Home<br /> 6:00 Eat dinner<br /> 6:30 iPad time for DS or we all go outside for a walk<br /> 7:00 Bath time<br /> 7:30 I put DD to bed, DH puts DS to bed, I give DS hugs and kisses right before he goes to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757598 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 13:23:40 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2757598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be upset if DH was in charge of bedtime and just completely ignored it. </p> <p>To try to get kids to go do something else, I will tell them its time for an educational show. I'll put on something like Discovery Earth or Bob Ross or Mr. Roggers. Eventually they get kinda bored and move on to play with toys or whatever. Or they watch and actually learn something! But I tell them Mom picks the show or the TV goes off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757590 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 13:09:09 +0000 snowjewelz 2757590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From just what you are describing, does your DH go outside to play along with your son when you have family time? Does he take care of your son alone without the use of any screen time? And correct me if I am totally wrong! But I am assuming his method of entertaining your son currently is letting him watch stuff so that he can also do stuff on the computer which is his choice of how to spend his time. </p> <p>And for me, I don't care what they are doing; I am sure your son doesn't have an 11pm bed time and if it's his responsibility to get him to bed, then it's on him to stop whatever they've been doing to make enough time for bed time routine and bed. </p> <p>He can spend time on the computer as much as he wants once both kids are down; but I would be really mad that his only way of spending time with his son is through screen time, which is really not spending time together at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757580 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:53:58 +0000 pwnstar 2757580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree that there is no need to be unnecessarily snarky/nasty, but let's face it--subtlety is lost on pretty much every man. (How many times have we (collectively) had a conversation with our spouse/partners in which we ask for help--help that we think should be obvious to any onlooker--but our partner's response is "but you didn't ask me for help [or ask me for *x*]"?) It usually takes being assertive and direct to get a message across--soft-pedaling an issue as important as this one doesn't do anyone any favors. I don't think it needs to be a screaming match or turn into the blame game--but addressing the issue head on (and even incorporating articles/research like @LBee: suggested) is going to be much more effective than waiting for someone to decide that they want to be part of the solution. Because frankly, if I have to intervene at 11 p.m., I don't care if you want to be part of the solution, because if you won't help, and aren't offering an alternative solution, then it's happening whether you want to help me or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757577 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:52:28 +0000 MrsADS 2757577@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This seems very strange behavior to me by your husband. Honestly that seems to be the bigger issue than the screentime - that he thinks it's appropriate to sit up watching TV (or doing whatever) till 11pm with a young child? I guess I don't know the situation, but that feels indicative of a larger parenting issue going on that's not going to be fixed by "hey, no TV till LO goes to bed". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757572 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:47:06 +0000 LuLu Mom 2757572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I implemented the no TV until after baths and PJs are on. They get to watch a show before bed. My older daughter was becoming a tablet junkie and sneaking away with it (she actually hacked the password on the iPad) so I just put my foot down. I also make DH and I keep our phones away until after girls are in bed (phones were our big issue and it was taking away from family time.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757569 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:42:13 +0000 looch 2757569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: @LBee: I think you need to know your audience when you are communicating your message, that's all. Different methods work with different people.</p> <p>I know I personally do not react well when I am dealt with absolutes. OP, you know your husband best, and how to deal with him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757567 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:40:32 +0000 pwnstar 2757567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Despite his age indicating that he is, chronologically, an adult, letting a kiddo stay up until 11 watching the tele is not *adult* behavior. I would be willing to tread lightly if, say, it was a half hour past bedtime and LO was still awake watching tv with dad. But 11 pm? And only after my intervention? Yeeeah, not so much. I wouldn't make a scene in front of my kid, but I certainly wouldn't tread lightly with DH afterward (especially in the wake of what seems to be an on-going issue). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757562 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:37:10 +0000 ineebee 2757562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I absolutely agree with this. Yes, part of the solution is limiting your husband's screen time, but that shouldn't be your job. I would first find out if DH sees DS's screen time as a problem. If not, then it'll be really difficult on you to get him to participate in a solution, and that's where I would start with him. If he does see the screen time as a problem, then great - you can work together to figure out a solution, and hopefully he'll recognize that he needs to be part of that solution. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757559 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:33:00 +0000 LBee 2757559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Does your husband not see the issue? I'm annoying, but I would print out studies regarding screen time and development and make him read them. It sounds like your husband needs to either have strict guidelines placed on him or the screens need to just go away. If he's going to act like a child, he will be treated like one. Studies have shown even background TV hinders development and the quality of play. You didn't marry a "gamer," you married a partner who should equally respect your opinion... especially one that is well supported by research. </p> <p>I disagree about treading lightly, FWIW, but I feel really strongly about the research as it relates to that much screen time. I'm not some kind of crazy screen time person (my son watches the allowable amount by AAP), but I think it's safe to assume that your son had at least 5 hours of screen time yesterday. That is a lot, even for an adult. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757557 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:31:01 +0000 Truth Bombs 2757557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: while I understand where you're coming from in terms of a spouse not wanting be told what they can't do, her husband isn't acting like an adult. If my husband got upset I would have no problem telling him that if he wants to be treated like an adult he should act like one. Any grown adult should know that constant screen time or being up at 11pm are unacceptable for a toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757553 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:23:53 +0000 pwnstar 2757553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You had to tell your husband to put your young toddler to bed at 11? That's insanity(!)--he should be a parent with you, not an extra person you have to parent. I would go cold turkey on screen time at least during the week. If anyone needs to go outside for that to be accomplished, it should be your husband, not you and your toddler.</p> <p>Eta: Limiting screen time to a post-bedtime activity may even encourage your make sure LO gets to bed on time so that he can game/browse the interwebs to his hearts content. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757552 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:20:25 +0000 looch 2757552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you have to tread carefully. Your husband is an adult, and he may not like being told what to do. I would think about how you can approach it with him in terms of establishing rules for your children without telling him he "can't" do something. My husband wouldn't take to it well, but he does get on board when it's presented in a way when he is part of the solution.</p> <p>One thing we did was to get Sonos throughout the house, so we can listen to music for background noise. My son now asks to hear Foo Fighters, Ed Shereen, Michael Jackson. It's been great and I highly recommend getting something like this if you need to curb screens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757551 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:20:22 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2757551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honest to goodness truth right now? We were doing ok with background tv and what not for a long time until we weren't. Now it just stays off. We just had to commit to it. It's hard though but so far worth it. We've noticed improvements in our kiddos' behavior! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757549 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:18:55 +0000 hellobeeboston 2757549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>agree with @gingerbebe: </p> <p>Maybe start with just the weekdays - no screen time for adults until after bed? You can have 'family time' and do activities, read books, crafts, play, etc. Then dinner, bath, books, BED. Or if you're doing bedtime, he can start in on the screens at that point?</p> <p>Sorry - that's a tricky situation. In my house, I'm the one that likes the TV. I keep it on in the mornings watching the new when i'm getting ready, and i like have it on when i'm making diner, just to listen to really. If the kids aren't watching their own shows, I turn it off.</p> <p>We found the best way to limit was a few things. We had to cut WAY down on ipad time. He only gets it a couple times a week now. If he's watching on the TV, there is a time limit... Using a timer that he can hear beeping when the time is up helps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757547 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:16:51 +0000 catgirl 2757547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's definitely a matter of limiting you DH's screen time. Like others the tv is only on when we are specifically watching something with DD. Our shows and DH's gaming happen when she is sleeping or one of us takes her somewhere else. </p> <p>I am married to a major gamer. Computer game, ps4, and phone games happen daily for him - but not when DD is around. I would be really mad if I had to constantly keep DD always from whatever screen he was using. He plays during naps on his days off, after she is asleep most nights, and sometimes I take DD out so he can get some play time in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757545 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:13:26 +0000 erinbaderin 2757545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like some of the other posters, we don't watch tv while the boys are up unless they're watching something - a little bit on weekdays, more on weekends. It was a big change for us, because we were used to having the tv on all the time as background noise. </p> <p>I don't understand how it didn't occur to your husband that your son needed to go to bed! Why are you doing all the parenting? I don't think you're overreacting at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757540 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:01:26 +0000 petitenoisette 2757540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Another family that doesn't have the tv on when ouR LO is up unless we're watching something with her (she gets screentime some but not all days). I actually really relished being able to use having a kid as an excuse to cut down on Tv time bc my DH used to have the tv on all the time when we were at home. We do use our phones and iPads around her but she leaves them alone. </p> <p>It really shouldn't be solely your job to entertain your kids in ways that don't involve screentime. Your DH should also know that your kid shouldn't be up til 11pm watching Netflix. Sounds like they both need a screentime detox and then explicit limits for your LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757536 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 11:58:42 +0000 gingerbebe 2757536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only solution I can think of is your husband needs to limit his screentime to after your son is in bed. I can't even begin to describe how ragey I would be if my son was up until 11pm on a Tuesday watching TV. You and your DH have to agree on a screentime limits for your son. Like 1 episode of a show per day or whatever. DH is going to have to figure out a way to interact more with his son and parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757535 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 11:57:35 +0000 matador84 2757535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't watch tv when the kids are up unless we are all watching something together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-and-ds-are-screen-addicts-how-do-you-limit-netflix#post-2757533 Wed, 12 Jul 2017 11:55:35 +0000 Littlebit7 2757533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had to isolate my husbands computers (dual monitors plus a TV hooked up). He does a lot of work from home and typically has either a sports game on, or some movie going in the background. Its the only room in our small apt that has a baby gate.<br /> He has some handheld games...I just have to stay on him to not play them around her. They are like a magnet for her. </p>