https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 02:49:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148429 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 10:38:14 +0000 Cherrybee 2148429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: Yeah, you're right. To be fair to him, he doesn't say he's hurt but I can read him like a book and he looks sad! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148412 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 10:02:40 +0000 loveisstrange 2148412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think he needs to stop taking toddler behavior so personally.... She's a toddler. It happens. She could totally reverse tomorrow.</p> <p>C is going through a daddy phase right now. Im like "sweet! go bug your dad". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148393 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 09:20:06 +0000 Cherrybee 2148393@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: Yeah, it not a full on preference. When DH isn't here, she asks for Daddy but he doesn't see that - he just sees her screaming Mummy and throwing herself at me when he asks for a kiss! </p> <p>@Foodnerd81: I will suggest it and see how it goes down. We currently take turns doing the bath and the other person cleans/tidies/puts laundry away. I know this sounds awful but we both prefer the cleaning because looking after E is the hardest work. I feel like DH would rather poop-pick the garden after the dogs than do bedtime/bathtime. He has done inordinate amounts of laundry since we've had e and I can't help but think it's to get him out of E-related tasks. But maybe I'm just projecting! We both need a rest, I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148391 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 09:06:06 +0000 fuzzypeaches 2148391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had this issue too - what worked for us was exactly what pp said (dh do bedtime or at least bath time). I totally understand wanting to spend family time but sometimes even just having him do the actual bath/pjs while I watch or straighten up in the background helps.<br /> We usually split the workload in that one person does bedtime and the other person does dinner/clean up which makes it feel more fair :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148382 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 08:53:50 +0000 blackbird 2148382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: it doesn't sound like a crazy preference, though, she just prefers one person to cuddle on and him to play with? Lord knows you can't take toddler crap personally. For us, she just tantrums for not getting her way and it's worse if I'm there because she tries to kept out of his arms and kick him away to get to me! And always when I'm cooking dinner, heh. Out of sight, out of mind works for us </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148375 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 08:48:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2148375@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: maybe he could just try doing bedtime alone a few nights? C will not give Dh the time of day if I'm in there, but as soon as I leave she snuggles right in. I do feel awful when she cries as I leave but it's so much better once I'm gone (by gone I mean cooking dinner or cleaning up in the kitchen, not out of the house). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148366 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 08:44:11 +0000 Cherrybee 2148366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: We tend to do things like the bedtime routine together and take turns doing the bath. She has great fun with daddy, she loves him to tickle her and chase her, but she only has cuddles for me. He would be pretty mad though if I walked off and left him to deal with a tantrum alone - and I would if it was the other way around too!</p> <p>@Truth Bombs: I'm just worried he will think I'm trying to offload more of the workload onto him..... and if I say its so they can improve their relationship I know he will take offence at the suggestion that the lack of cuddles are his fault for not investing enough. </p> <p>@hilsy85: That partly our issue. DH works long hours including Saturday mornings so the little time he does get we spend as a family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148328 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 07:48:18 +0000 Foodnerd81 2148328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been dealing with this too- including the No! to his hug request. I think he needs to spend more time with her but he's been crazy busy with work and I SAH so it's unavoidable. It's extra bad right now because she is sick. </p> <p>But, if I'm not right there she is more affectionate. Like at bedtime I'll say goodnight and walk away from the two of them so he can do stories and she cries for a minute when I walk away, but then is fine and snuggly with him. If I'm there she will only snuggle me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148323 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 07:40:19 +0000 hilsy85 2148323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has a huge mommy preference as well, and it can be really discouraging for DH. Also, we like to do things as a family, since he works a lot during the week, so it's not always easy or desirable for him to take LO and do something just the two of them. But I do think that's the best way for them to bond so I would try to do that. Even if we're just all at home, and he tries to do something for him, if LO knows i'm there he will whine and scream for me. My willingness to give in depends on how tired I am :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148315 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 07:33:42 +0000 Anagram 2148315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter has had a huge daddy preference since I got sick with morning sickness in December (I still have it). As someone else said, daddy is way more fun that mommy right now--case in point, it's 8:30 am and daddy has already gotten up with LO, dressed her, given her breakfast, and is now outside at the park with her while mommy lays on the couch with unbrushed teeth trying to eat some Cheerios. No contest, really.</p> <p>But having said that, when my husband wants a break or I just need to take LO somewhere, I just take her. She may fight it for about 10 seconds and protest, but she gets over it and we move on. I often take her alone to the grocery store or to errands with me, so daddy can get a break from his side kick.</p> <p>I think the other parent (me in my case) just has to be persistent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148311 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 07:31:53 +0000 blackbird 2148311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They need to spend more time together. Does he do a lot of stuff for her? We go through spurts of this-E wants me to hold her and I give her to DH and say "honey, daddy will hold you" and that's it, even when she tantrums. Then he takes her into another room. But if you are doing all the child caring, then he needs to do more! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148306 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 07:22:45 +0000 Truth Bombs 2148306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you have to "sell" alone time with your daughter to your husband then it doesn't sound like he's really ready and willing to put in the effort to improve their relationship. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148296 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:59:10 +0000 Mama Bird 2148296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're dealing with this too, and the boys spend lots of alone time together - DH actually took a three month leave when I was going back to work, and I work longer hours so he's usually the one picking DS up from day care. It gets better and it gets worse, but mostly I'm just trying to wait it out... maybe part of it is just not wanting to let go of being a baby :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148292 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:50:12 +0000 Applesandbananas 2148292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: DS was like this until I went on a work trip for 5 days. He and DH have been much closer since. Not saying you have to leave for 5 days but I think more DD-DH time would help!</p> <p>My DH wasn't keen on the idea of more alone time to alleviate some of the mommy preference either but once he had to, it went well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148288 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:20:00 +0000 looch 2148288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened to us, but the other way around. My son had a strong Daddy preference and the only thing that helped it was time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148283 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:13:46 +0000 lamariniere 2148283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of my LOs have always had a major mommy preference, but we try to combat it with DH spending more alone time with them. Could he start with something like take her to the playground or the grocery store? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148277 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:07:36 +0000 travelgirl1 2148277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through this for a long time. We tried having it be daddy who instigates fun time and gives treats, and me who did the discipline but, really, you can only keep that up for so long. What ultimately solved it for us - which I appreciate won't help you right now - is my morning sickness because daddy became so much more fun compared to useless mummy on the sofa. From then on she has loved playing and spending time with him.<br /> Could your DH take her to the playground on his own sometimes? Or for a fun ice cream or something? These things do change, they just take time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148276 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 06:05:30 +0000 lady grey 2148276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son is 22 mo and is the same kind of phase. I just remind DH it's a developmental thing and try not to take it personally. More alone time would probably help! I used to work every Sunday so LO and DH had all day together but now I sah. We try for them to get at least a half day alone every weekend. For my LO having DH doing some nap times/bedtime without me helps with the clingyness as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148271 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 05:52:59 +0000 hotchildinthecity 2148271@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe I'm missing something but can't they just have some daddy/daughter time? A little outing or something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-hurt-by-mummy-preference-anything-i-can-do#post-2148256 Sat, 18 Apr 2015 03:24:57 +0000 Cherrybee 2148256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is going through a mummy phase. It's particularly hurtful for DH because she has never been a cuddly child, yet for the last few weeks she has been really affectionate - but only for mummy. DH regularly asks for kisses or cuddles and she replies "no!", then often runs into my arms. I think she thinks its a joke but its really mean! This morning, she snuggled with me in bed for about an hour but freaked out when DH went in for a cuddle.</p> <p>I think they need more alone time but I don't know how I'd sell that to DH. :bummed: </p>