https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 20 May 2026 09:04:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513726 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 09:36:46 +0000 Happygal 1513726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, I'm sorry, but I did laugh a little when I read that he wants time to mentally prepare. I'm married to an introvert who would totally say something like this. He needs time to process things, and sometimes will give me an answer to a big question I asked an hour or so later! Video games are a form a escapism. Maybe he's just a little freaked out. Shouldn't have blasted it though--rude!</p> <p>If you can make peace with it, I would let him take a day or two. He'll feel mentally prepared for things changing. If he feels the need to be a provider, maybe that is why he is antsy to work and take a limited amount of time off? Or it's really hard to catch up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513657 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:59:30 +0000 wonderstruck 1513657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really see the big deal about a couple of extra days, particularly when he's not planning on taking the full 30 days after - it's not like him taking a couple days off before is taking anything away from you, right? You don't understand because you personally don't feel the need for that time, but I don't think it's totally fair to expect him to feel/react/prepare the same exact way you do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513644 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:49:19 +0000 junebugmama 1513644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're not thinking he will take the full 30 days after, then why not let him take a couple days before. Perhaps he just needs some time to process being the Dad of 2. I think for Moms it's so different. We have been dealing with it essentially since conception and their role is so different. Perhaps he can spend some one on one time with LO too. Babies make things bananas. I think it's ok to take a day or 2 prior to baby to sort of mentally prepare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513636 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:42:57 +0000 Anagram 1513636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amelieisme: I agree with you, especially if YOU are working through Thursday. However...in these situations, you have to consider both what is "right" in this situation (ie. is he entitled to take a few days off work when you are not) and how to make your marriage work.</p> <p>Questions about the days off: how many days exactly ? Will he be watching your other LO on these days or day, washing and folding clothes/putting together baby furniture for the new LO? Or is he just wanting to pretend he has no responsibilities for 3 days?</p> <p>It seems like your husband is freaking out. I would offer him 1 day off--- Thursday. With the stipulation that you get that night/next morning off (meaning he is 100% LO duty and he makes dinner and does bedtime and breakfast in the morning while you mentally prepare for the C section). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513632 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:39:43 +0000 Purpledaisy 1513632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's messed up that you're planning on working up until the day before your c section and he's planning on having time off before. Sorry, but as great as dads can be the mom is the one who gives birth, has to recover, breastfeeding, hormones and night feedings etc. I would be pretty irritated if I were you. I feel like he should take more time off afterwards instead to help you out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513581 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:12:35 +0000 Amelieisme 1513581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: @Greentea: I get your sentiment, but I sort of feel like I am the one who is about to have surgery, be up nights nursing LO, etc. if he is going to take a few more days than the 5 he is planning to take, he should wait until after and tack it on then. Mind you, after LO #1, he was complaining about missing work 5 days after he was born while we were at the pedi trying to figure out why he was losing so much weight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513572 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 08:05:42 +0000 Greentea 1513572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe he is having anxiety and needs to manage himself in his own way. I would let him if he says he needs it, although I understand why you feel annoyed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513556 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 07:49:29 +0000 Dandelion 1513556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My vote is to let him take the time off. If that's what he needs to prepare himself for the new baby, then go for it. Maybe then he can have a few last days with your toddler before he has to split his attention.</p> <p>My DH actually is between jobs, ending his last one in February. He's working on starting his own business, but he's been taking time off to go to doctor appointments and stuff with me and to be an extra hand if I need it. He's driving me a little crazy, but I know this mental time is really for him, and it makes him feel more prepared to focus only on this baby coming.</p> <p>If your DH is only taking a week off after, then it shouldn't be a big deal, if he's got 30 days to use. He'll still have a few weeks worth later on in the year. </p> <p>One other thought...he might be thinking that he's not going to be able to play his video game much when the baby is here, so he might want a few days of "me time" to hash out before LO2 comes along. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-is-getting-on-my-nerves#post-1513532 Sat, 22 Mar 2014 07:29:24 +0000 Amelieisme 1513532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are scheduled to have baby #2 via c section on Friday. DH has lots of vacation (30 days/year). He informed me yesterday he wanted to take a "few days" off prior to Fiday this week to "prepare". I asked him what exactly he needed to do and he said "mentally prepare". I told him he needed to save days for after baby was here and don't see the logic in taking off before she arrives. He does have plenty of vacation, but is only planning to take 1 week off after. Knowing him, he will start to feel guilty and antsy about it towards the end of his time off. I don't want him wasting days beforehand. We got into a tiff about this last night and he pitched nothing short of a tantrum about it. Mind you, I am working up until Thursday as I wanted to have as much time as possible after baby is here (most of which will be unpaid after my vacation is used).</p> <p>This morning we discussed it and sort of calmed down. Then he proceeds to start playing some war game on Xbox at 7 am super loud while our toddler is still sleeping. He never does this and knows it annoys me to listen to. I retreated upstairs. I feel like he is being super juvenile and maybe dreading the baby coming? He is acting like a 10 yo old. Thoughts? Did anyone's husband take time off before baby came? </p>