https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 22:27:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-return-to-work-after-sahd#post-2892454 Fri, 26 Jul 2019 11:47:07 +0000 lindseykaye 2892454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: Thank you for that reminder. It's something I already struggle with even though DH has solo time at home during the week to do a lot of chores... there's still always more to do! I think we'll need to try and be more intentional with getting things done in the evenings. Arranging for a cleaning service to do the deep stuff is #1 on my list of conveniences to start if he goes back to FT work so ideally, we can avoid much weekend choring.</p> <p>LO1 is already in a better mood than earlier so here's to hoping the transition will be smoother than I expected. We're going to try to just be matter-of-fact about it but not make a big deal or talk about it too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-return-to-work-after-sahd#post-2892439 Fri, 26 Jul 2019 10:36:51 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2892439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lindseykaye: I thought of something else. Try to make sure that you still have fun on the weekends and don't just do all of the chores.</p> <p>Unfortunately, I can't help with your oldest. DS was 2.5 and has been in full time care since then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-return-to-work-after-sahd#post-2892411 Fri, 26 Jul 2019 07:52:34 +0000 lindseykaye 2892411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Toad: Thank you so much - this is really helpful!</p> <p>I like your idea to plan out the evening and morning routines and who will be doing what/when. Sounds like evening prep for morning things will save a lot of headaches and rushing around.<br /> We did this for years back when LO1 was small... with the same at-home daycare that LO2 now attends, DH working at the same university (though at a different college within it), among other similarities. We're looking back at that time kind of trying to remember how we handled things.</p> <p>This time though we'll have LO2 at elementary and I think the transition is going to be hardest on her than anyone since she is so used to her routine with Dad at this point and has spent the whole summer home with him. She heard us talking about his potential job and is already upset with him that she would be going to aftercare at school. Which sucks because she LOVES her school and the other kids and teachers there and will definitely still be able to have plenty of playdates with her friends. She is currently sulking in her room mad at Dad as I write this :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-return-to-work-after-sahd#post-2892381 Thu, 25 Jul 2019 21:49:23 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2892381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We went through this when DS was 2.5 and DD1 was 6 months. </p> <p>DS was in 3 day a week morning preschool which moved to 5 day a week full daycare. DD1 luckily got a spot for full time care that started a few weeks prior to DH starting his job. Neither had a hard time transitioning to full time care.</p> <p>DH got a job that was 10 hour days 0900-1900 Tues-Fri. We live in an apartment so we didn't have to worry about lawn care. Our apartment just got cleaned less and DH did some of the work on his day off (particularly grocery shopping). </p> <p>The biggest change was that I had to change my schedule. I'm in DC area and was usually at work around 0600 and able to leave earlier. DD1 daycare didn't start until 0630 but was at my workplace, so I was able to just get dressed, grab my stuff and her bottles/lunch, and put her in the carrier to catch the train to work. My commute is approx 1 hour and her morning nursing was on the train. I changed diaper and clothes when I got to daycare. DS was dropped off by DH as he was in a different daycare. I handled evenings by myself. </p> <p>A few months later, DHs schedule changed to Sun-Wed 0600-1600. This required me to do drop off at 0700 for my oldest and then take my youngest with me to work. I usually got ready, got both kids ready, and we were out the door. DS got breakfast at daycare and DD was nursed on the train. DH and I worked at the same place and left together with DD1. When we got to our stop, one of us would get DS while the other went home and started dinner. </p> <p>The biggest suggestion I have is to plan out your morning routine and your evening routine. I would also see if you can make mornings as easy as possible. I always made the kids breakfast and lunch the night before, so all I had to do was take from the fridge. My lunch was also prepared the night before. Bottles were prepped the night before and in a cold bag in the fridge as well. </p> <p>I meal prepped to make sure that dinner was taken care of and after the kids were in bed did the dishes and prep that was mentioned. Our kids went to bed early at that time and I had time to get everything done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-return-to-work-after-sahd#post-2892132 Wed, 24 Jul 2019 12:33:56 +0000 lindseykaye 2892132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the last two years, DH has primarily been a SAHD after he left his administrative role in higher education. It was a decision based on a combination of factors including supporting me while I finished my Master's, my own work travel schedule increasing, and dissatisfaction in his previous role. He's worked freelance/part-time since then and we've added baby #2 to our family (currently 7 mo old). </p> <p>He's casually been looking at returning full-time and submitted a couple applications this weekend. Well - one of them has already led to a phone interview tomorrow!</p> <p>I don't want to get ahead of ourselves since there is so much of the process left to go, but I'm excited for him! Plus, we really need the additional income to make some progress towards some debt we are carrying after starting private school for LO1 last year and new baby/maternity leave expenses. So I am crossing my fingers hard for him/us.</p> <p>As we prepare for this possible change, I wanted to see if any other Bees out there had been through something similar and had any advice.<br /> I know we will need to use some of his additional income to cover increased costs like gas (for him to get to/from work and more daycare travel days). As well as increased childcare costs (aftercare for LO1 at school, moving LO2 from part-time to full-time). And I figured adding some conveniences to our budget will keep us sane (cleaning service, lawn service).<br /> What else did you do to make this transition?<br /> How did your kid/s handle a longer day at school/care if they were used to one parent being SAH?</p> <p>Thanks! </p>