https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 09:41:35 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1433108 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 09:24:34 +0000 swurlygurl 1433108@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry - I know how this goes! I pretty much did bed time/wakeups 95% of the time up until DD was 12 months. Then I got pregnant and decided it was time for DH to learn because I am NOT doing that for 2 babies! We switch nights now, and it is rough. It would be so much easier for me to do it myself, because I can't sleep while he's struggling and she's crying... But, he has to learn. DH also would not respond well/appreciate any constructive criticism, so I'm just letting him figure it out.</p> <p>One thing that does kind of work is when it's my night and it goes easily, when I go back downstairs or climb back into bed, I'll throw something out there that works and pretend it was something new I discovered. Like 'Wow, she just went down so easily after I let her cuddle on me for 1 minute before laying her back in her crib!'. That way he doesn't see it as me trying to tell him what to do, and might try it on his own on his night. It's slowly getting better, and I can now sleep while he's waking up with her, instead of anxiously listening in to her fussing and him struggling.</p> <p>Although, we only have one baby to wrangle... .haha. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1433084 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 09:14:34 +0000 looch 1433084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the end of the day, I had to let go of the journey my husband took to the end goal. Granted, we only had one child, so doing the nightime routine was simple because we kept it short and we could divide and conquor.</p> <p>What are the tasks that he's doing? Maybe if you list those out, we can give you some cheats? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1433076 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 09:09:28 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1433076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tequiero21: :-(<br /> @T.H.O.U.: been there done that. He gets so stressed when they fuss that I end up taking over.<br /> @Ms.SK: that's not an option for him. We tried teaming up when they first came home but he can't wake up &amp; gets physically ill when he trys. Also the 6-7 hours of sleep that he is getting isn't a good sleep. He's already catching hell at work for lack of productivity. He would rather stay up late with them then get up in the middle of the night.</p> <p>I guess we need to figure out a routine for him. Maybe get some swaddled cheaters. We have a wombie but he doesnt like using it...I'm finding he needs simplicity. He hates the cloth diapers because there is so much to remember. Maybe he just has to suck it up &amp; use some of these cheaters. One good thing is this hasn't detoured him from wanting more children. I kinda hoped it might have slowed him down at least lol.</p> <p>You all are helping me out a lot! We have a book on ththe way, twelve hours of sleep in twelve weeks. Hopefully this will help us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432998 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 08:32:07 +0000 Ms.SK 1432998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am not sure if it will help you but when the twins were little we took a divide and conquor approach - we each had a baby all night. If your baby needed attention, you delt with it on your own. Don't wake the other person up. At least that way it was just 1 baby and not the fear that one would wake the other. I also took the baby that he felt was harder so he grew confidence dealing with who he thought was easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432992 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 08:28:39 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1432992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with PP, come up with a routine with your husband so he feels like part of the process and post a visual reminder or come up with an easy way to remember it in the middle of the night. Look at some sleep resources together. I could not for the life of me get DH to read the Happiest a Baby on the Block, but I could get him to watch the DVD, so maybe look for videos or "cliffs note" versions.</p> <p>I'm sorry it's so hard for y'all right now. It gets better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432956 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 07:51:36 +0000 T.H.O.U. 1432956@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will say that my husband and I have pretty much always taken turns with bedtime. He definitely has his own process that works for him which is different then what works for me. I can hold her a certain way, but he holds her a completely different way to calm her down. </p> <p>What about sucking it up for a few nights to try to let him get the hang of it with just one baby? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432952 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 07:45:59 +0000 tequiero21 1432952@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Awww lucky your hubby is even attempting. My hubby has never put the kids to sleep. Sorry, no words of wisdom here but hope he gets the hang of it soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432870 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 02:49:43 +0000 AprilFool 1432870@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe explaining that babies thrive on routine and suggest coming up with one together. I know you already have one that works for you but maybe he needs to feel a part of the process. Ask him what he thinks will help. Once you decide the routine together you can then both stick to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432862 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 02:34:40 +0000 mrbee 1432862@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: I struggled to take over bedtime. Bee wrote up her process and put it on the wall, so I had that as a handy reference! That was really helpful.</p> <p>I never read the book about the 5 Ss and that's one of my bigger regrets. Although it sounds like they go down without too much trouble if you follow the routine, which is great!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432855 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 02:08:19 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1432855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: he hate bedtime. Its very frustrating for him because they fuss for him. I don't know how else to manage our sleep. We both need it. He works so I can stay home so it's important for him. Apparently he is falling asleep at his desk &amp; is catching hell for lack in productivity. I need sleep cause nursing &amp; taking care if twins by yourself is exhausting. </p> <p>They are starting to sleep longer periods &amp; averaging 3 hours between feedings with a rare 4 or 5 hours thrown in there. So it will get better but what does one do in the meantime? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432850 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:46:57 +0000 mrbee 1432850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: What's his take on how things are going... or does he avoid talking about it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432849 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:45:46 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1432849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@anonysquire: I have a routine that works well. He just doesn't seem to know how to do it or doesn't want to take the time to...I don't know. All he has to do is shortly after a feeding swaddled them tight &amp; put them to bed &amp; turn on the iPod with the noise maker stuff. Maybe give izzy a bink &amp; walk out. 90% of the time this works for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432848 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:39:39 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1432848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: it progressively gets worse as time goes. He used to be real good at soothing them but now as soon as one starts fussing he starts getting real anxious &amp; stressed. He seems to just disconnect at that point. Ex:Instead of holding baby he props them up &amp; holds the bink in their mouth. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432847 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:38:50 +0000 anonysquire 1432847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh crap, I'm scared that my husband will be the same way! Hmm can you guys talk about setting up a bedtime routine or something? Or just flat out tell him you're not getting good sleep so he needs to shape up? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432842 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:24:41 +0000 mrbee 1432842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: ah that's a good amount of time! is he making any progress with bedtime? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432839 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:22:27 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1432839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: About a month. Give or take a week. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432837 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:17:46 +0000 mrbee 1432837@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sugar.Biscuit: how long has he been doing bedtime? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-sucks-at-putting-the-babies-down#post-1432835 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:02:19 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 1432835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He trys to cover the later evening shift till about 11 so that I can sleep through a feeding or two &amp; be able to cover the night shift so he can sttn. This is anywhere from 2-4hours. </p> <p>Problem is as soon as daddy takes over the babiesb (almost 8weeks) start freaking out. I think they can tell he is anxious &amp; then he starts stressing out. So the babies end up crying/fussing pretty much the entire time, I sleep like crap &amp; then when its my time to take over I have to settle two babies &amp; deal with a cranky husband. It's almost easier to just do it myself but this is pretty much the only time I can catch a break. Ive offered to show him what works for me but he doesn't like constructive criticism. Some things he just needs to learn how to do this his own way &amp; find what works for him but I'm losing my patience &amp; its not good for the babies go through this night after night. </p> <p>What does one do in this situation? Words of wisdom from those who have been there done that would be nice. </p>