https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 19:34:21 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/3#post-2684717 Sun, 22 Jan 2017 16:11:19 +0000 tequiero21 2684717@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it really depends on the situation. I don't think it's worthy of divorce just for asking lol. My husband never takes a guys trip. Luckily, he'd rather go away w me than anyone else. I am also more of a traveler than he is so I'd be the one wanting to go to Iceland. So, because of that, I'd be willing to let him go on the trip. But I'd definitely want a girls only getaway too lol. Prolly not two weeks because I don't think anyone would want to watch all my kids. Either way, if you aren't comfy with him taking off all that time, I say talk to him because u may resent him for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/3#post-2684509 Sat, 21 Jan 2017 21:18:00 +0000 JCCovi 2684509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't imagine this happening in our family. (1) The cost would be hard to stomach for something the whole family wouldn't enjoy. (2) Two weeks would be half his vacation time for the year so it would basically derive the whole family of a trip or a visit to family. (3) He definitely doesn't have friends who would travel together for 2 weeks!</p> <p>I can *maybe* see myself going for 2 weeks with family if someone else was footing the bill, but probably not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/3#post-2684160 Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:23:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2684160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: fair enough, I'd be concerned about the money with a 2 week fun trip for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2684147 Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:01:35 +0000 birdofafeather 2684147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: well, i can't speak to the not-recurring, but we'll have to agree to disagree! at least when he's working, i can "throw money at" the problems where if it were a pleasure trip, i would just be grumpy that he was gone that long having fun without me and spending money so i wouldn't spend any more money and just be more grumpy! :P </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683976 Fri, 20 Jan 2017 13:21:16 +0000 FaithFertility 2683976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: The fact that he has to to also take his sick time and such just doesn't sit well with me. It is not responsible in my eyes.<br /> So the burden of kids being sick and calling out of work is now ALL on you?! </p> <p>14 days is a crazy long time for just a "get away" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683861 Fri, 20 Jan 2017 10:19:01 +0000 skipra 2683861@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: That is great that he took off so much for daycare closures last year and figured out spring break already but with him taking 2 weeks for his trip and 1 week to visit his family, it sounds like you will be 100% responsible for all the sick days, Christmas break, etc this year. That is just really unfair to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683598 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 20:28:17 +0000 azjax 2683598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah....no.</p> <p>We have each done solo trips for fun (1-3 days) and work trips (up to 7 days) and aside from it being a hardship for the other parent, the traveler always misses the baby and spouse so much that longer away would be tortuous.</p> <p>It sounds like an expensive one-sided deal has been proposed and I'd be pissed if my husband was seriously considering it. Like really. The time away from family, the unplanned squandering of money, it just seems really selfish ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683540 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:34:59 +0000 LemonJack 2683540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be really hurt that he was even considering this, to be honest. If he only gets three weeks of vacation, to ask to use two for a trip with friends and away from family would be really upsetting to me. </p> <p>I'm all in support of time away, but I think this is asking too much considering your circumstances. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683529 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:24:04 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2683529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@birdofafeather: I think it's worse when it's for work because there's no getting out of it, lol! (eta, and it's recurring!) We both have not 9-5 schedules and solo parent a decent amount... It was hard the first 2-3 years but now I don't mind. Some of my military mom-friends.. I don't know how they do it, but I guess you just do what you have to! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683525 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:20:22 +0000 Boogs 2683525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Haha he gets points for planning ahead. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683508 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 19:06:12 +0000 anonysquire 2683508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe I'm the odd one but I keep encouraging my husband to take an international trip without me. I hate flying!!! And don't ever see myself leaving the country again or going on more than a 4 hour flight. But my husband loves to travel, and I would feel bad holding him back. So I always tell him to plan something with his brothers or friends. Maybe I'll plan a trip for him or something. He also travels with his family or to his family alone occasionally. But again it's because I don't like to fly. And he makes sure I'm taken care of while he's gone and also buys me something that I think is equal value. I don't think it's selfish. It would be selfish if I kept him from traveling I think. And I don't hate solo parenting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683499 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:53:11 +0000 Corduroy 2683499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: @Boogs: I was probably being unfair. He does cover the majority of daycare and preschool closures. For example, he took 5 days over Christmas break and I took 3. He handles all the government holidays too because he's a government contractor. He should be doing all of them. LO has a week long spring break this year but DH found her a spot at DS's daycare for the week so he wouldn't have to use his time. Crafty. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683496 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:42:20 +0000 Boogs 2683496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: That does sound unfair! He should have to use his time off for daycare closures also. And you take your time to visit his family, what about your family? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683490 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:36:23 +0000 skipra 2683490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: that seems really unfair - he gets to use his vacation on 2 week exciting getaway and you get to use yours for daycare closures. What does he say when you explain it that way? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683474 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 18:04:08 +0000 Corduroy 2683474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skipra: We both get 3 weeks now but I'm only 4 months into my job. So he has 3 weeks built up and I have 3 days. I never have enough vacation time to do anything because we spend one week every year visiting his family. Between that, a couple days at Christmas, and daycare closures I don't have time to do anything fun. We haven't taken a family vacation yet. </p> <p>I really wish DH would spend some of his extra vacay time visiting his family with the kids. It would help balance things out and give me some days back to actually do something I want to do. Like, one week in laws, one week Iceland, one week wife vacay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683444 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 17:39:11 +0000 skipra 2683444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How much vacation time does he get from work? Because if this will eat up almost all of it, no way! I would be insulted if DH asked because we get so little time all together and that is SO long! And then you would have time to take off work another time and he wouldn't so it would be you alone with the kids again! It would be one thing with older kids and plenty of vacation time and money so you could also have a nice trip but in your situation I would say no! For the record, DH would laugh if someone suggested that kind of trip to him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683318 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 15:42:27 +0000 hellobeeboston 2683318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, that's a pretty long time... </p> <p>DH and I make sure we balance each getting our own away time, plus time away with each other, plus family getaways.... Its usually a long weekend that we each take once a year - he goes camping with his friends, and me and my girls usually go to NYC.... like someone else mentioned, can he do a part of the trip? </p> <p>I certainly wouldn't divorce my husband over asking.... but 2 weeks is a bit excessive... Make sure <b>YOU</b> get an awesome getaway after this!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683310 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 15:37:51 +0000 winniebee 2683310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH went on a 2 week trip to China for work when DS2 was 3 months old. It suuuucked. I was staying home at the time so at least I could flee to my parents for most of it but it was really hard on me. And it was for work. I just think that amount of time away -- for pleasure -- without me -- is too long for us given this stage in our lives. Nor would my husband want to be gone that long. I think the ideal getaway time is a long weekend - 3/4 days. It's enough time for that parent to get a break, feel revived, etc. We actually have not done a long weekend without each other since we had kids though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683232 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:45:24 +0000 birdofafeather 2683232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: ha, my husband was working for 2.5 weeks as a firefighter this fall and it was TOUGH and that was him making money, not spending it! i would be seriously rolling my eyes at him even presenting it to me!</p> <p>OP, yeah, this wouldn't fly and i'm used to DH being gone working often! he's gone on fishing trips with his dad for 3-4 days and i think i would be good with a 5 day guys' trip, but 2 weeks?! no way. we don't even get to travel like that as a family right now and it's not necessarily due to lack of funds! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683227 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:39:57 +0000 yellowbird 2683227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>NOPE!!!!!</p> <p> Unless he went out of his way to plan all the backup child care I would need and go ABOVE and BEYOND to make my life way easier while he is gone. I can't see that ever happening, so it would never work for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683214 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:30:01 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2683214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a distinction here between what is "ok" and "not ok", for me anyway, is whether it is for work vs. pleasure. The longest my husband has taken a trip solo was before we were married or had kids and it was for 7 days. The longest trip after we were married has been a weekend trip and nothing since we had a baby. He is often gone for up to 6 days for work. I'd be pretty upset if he proposed a 2 week trip solo, but I'm not sure what I'd say. I guess I'd see how much his heart was set on going and try to factor that into my decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683198 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:17:55 +0000 LuLu Mom 2683198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope not going to happen without me for that long. We've both done mini trips apart, max of 4 days, anything longer than that would have to be a couple or family trip. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683166 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 13:53:19 +0000 wrkbrk 2683166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: Yeah, absolutely not would this fly at my house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683135 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 13:26:44 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2683135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two weeks is a long time but then if you think of military couples who are separated much longer than that, it doesn't seem *that* long. So I think it's whatever you're ok with, and it doesn't sound like you're ok with it. Why can't he fly back after the ten days? He doesn't NEED to fly back with his buddies. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683113 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 13:14:47 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2683113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hell no! And I definitely think any amount of time away from parenting duties requires that he ask and provide alternate means for childcare and domestic help. Then there's the discussion about the cost of it all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683103 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 13:02:50 +0000 yin 2683103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. It's too long of a trip, and it would set us back financially. Plus we rarely travel, and I would be upset if he went abroad without us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683097 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 12:56:34 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2683097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If this were something that was really important to DH, and he would help me figure out all of the logistics of home life without him, I would be a little sad that he wouldn't want to go with me, but I'd suck it up and be ok with it. </p> <p>It doesn't sound like you are though, so I would have him look into seeing if he could make it shorter like another poster suggested, or if he could help you secure back-up care for while he's gone. This doesn't get to be him planning a trip and leaving you to plan everything at home. He needs to help figure all of that out too as to not leave you high and dry. </p> <p>Are the other families close to you? Would you be comfortable asking them to help with pick up/drop off for the time he's away to help you out? </p> <p>I guess the way I see it is that my DH doesn't ask for much. He's hardworking, equally parents with me (I also work out of home FT), and he hardly ever takes time with his friends like this. If it were a once in a lifetime trip with all of his guy friends, I'd want him to be able to do that. The catch is that he'd be a partner in trying to figure out logistics for while he was away. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683034 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 12:25:59 +0000 Boogs 2683034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: I would use this to negotiate some things for yourself before you agree; a monthly spa day, your own vacation, a maid once a week while he's gone, etc. </p> <p>My DH has been gone for work before for long stretches, once two weeks and another time three weeks. I SAH so it might be easier in some ways for scheduling, but it was still hard. We eventually found our groove.</p> <p>For pleasure, I don't think DH would ever ask to do something like this. But, if it was really important to him, like I said I would talk about it and maybe have some negotiations lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2683023 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 12:19:09 +0000 psw27 2683023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The only way this would happen is if it was a very, very special trip that my DH sincerely wanted to go on as some sort of bucket list adventure. </p> <p>I'm a WOH mom with long days and a physically demanding commute on foot - so two weeks of doing it all alone with little family help would be overwhelming. Especially with more than one child. </p> <p>The other reason that this would annoy me is that DH and I rarely take two weeks off to vacation together or as a family, so it would bother me that he was doing that without me. </p> <p>Also, I've been to Iceland. It is so gorgeous but as others have said - it is NOT a cheap trip at all. Lodging and food are pretty outrageous there, and I live in the Northeast where I'm used to $25 burgers being on menus. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-taking-a-guys-trip/page/2#post-2682959 Thu, 19 Jan 2017 11:37:37 +0000 Trailmix 2682959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nah. I don't even think my husband would bother to ask me about this one. </p>