https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 13:08:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please/page/2#post-2837135 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:59:41 +0000 Charm54 2837135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do all the drop offs and pick ups. Its really helpful to me when DH loads all our stuff in the car before he goes to work. It’s also helpful that he does all of the dog stuff before he leaves so I just have to worry about the kids. I appreciate that on the rare occasions I can’t do the drop off or pick up he rearranges his schedule and makes it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please/page/2#post-2837133 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:55:06 +0000 Mrs. Carrot 2837133@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PawPrints: I second this. We switched our schedule at the start of this year so that DH can do drop-off and I would do pickup, and I am really terrible about not over-engineering things, so I tried to really force myself to step out of his process and it's been working just fine. He gets up at the same time I do (about 2 hours before LO is up), so that he has time for a long shower the way he likes it. I leave at 6:30, LO is up around 7:30, and what happens in between and after that is up to him. The only thing I do is put out clothes for LO the night before because DH admits himself that he has no acumen for clothes selection and Lo doesn't care enough to do it herself yet, but otherwise they're on their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please/page/2#post-2837118 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:05:51 +0000 PawPrints 2837118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Here's our routine:<br /> We do zero prep the night before.<br /> 6am: I nurse DS while DH showers.<br /> 6:15: DH wakes up DD, gets her cereal ready. DD eats cereal while DH cooks himself eggs and eats them. I put DS in his bouncer in the bathroom with me while I shower.<br /> 6:30-6:45: DS still in his bouncer with me while I dry my hair and get dressed. DH gets DD dressed, brush teeth, does her hair.<br /> 7:00: Everyone ready to go. DH gets in the car with DD and DS and drives them to daycare, I head to the bus stop to go to work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please/page/2#post-2837113 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 11:57:15 +0000 PawPrints 2837113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've only skimmed the other comments so sorry if this is repeating things, but: I strongly feel you should not do a lot to prep for him. Let him handle this himself. He's not a child, and even if he were, it's good parenting to allow a kid to experience failure so they can learn and innovate on their own how to be successful and take responsibility for their own success. In other words, DON'T take it as your own job to do all the pre-packing and putting stuff in the car the night before. After he has done drop-off a few times, he'll figure out on his own that it's easier if he does prep the night before. If you both get into the habit of assuming that you're always going to do all the labor and prep to make parenting as easy as possible for him, then that's the rut you'll be in forever! Let him spread his parenting wings and fly. :) </p> <p>In our house, DH is responsible for dropoff of our older daughter, and will be responsible for both kids once DS starts daycare. I don't do anything to prep for him/them. He has figured out what needs to be done and he gets it done. If he doesn't, then he won't get to work on time. Yes, we've had a few failures here and there (like the time we completely missed out on parent-teacher conferences because he failed to notice the sign-up board) but it all works out, and I am so so happy we've set this precedent so in the next 20 years of parenting we'll have the assumption that we are both equally capable and responsible for all parenting duties. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please/page/2#post-2837056 Tue, 31 Jul 2018 06:53:43 +0000 cake2017 2837056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: This is great to read! I know he can do it! Thank you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2837008 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 18:46:14 +0000 Anagram 2837008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: I leave for work at 6:45 am, and it's all Dh after that. I pack the kids lunches the night before, but he feeds them breakfast, dresses them, does their hair 50% of the time (if they are up and I have time, I'll do it before I leave) and he packs their backpacks and water bottles. For the last year, then he walked DD1 to school. Next year, he'll have to walk both kids to school and it's at two different schools. </p> <p>So I think he manages it well because he wakes up early-- he's up at 6, whether or not the kids are up. But they do wake up early, around 6-6:15 usually. Basically he wakes up and makes their breakfast and when they wake up he immediately has them potty, brush teeth, and change. Then he leaves them to eat while he takes a quick shower. At this point, I'm usually doing my hair in the bathroom by the living room so I kind of keep an eye for choking purposes but I don't sit with them at all. When he comes out of the shower, he will sit with them till they are done, and this is typically when I'm out the door. So they are eating breakfast by 6:45 am as I leave. I assume they probably finish around 7:15, and then DH let's them play while he dresses and packs their bag. Then he does their hair if he has to and they are out the door by 7:45-8am. Then he'll drop thebkids at before care and walk to the bus. He's got it down to a science. He even makes a real breakfast most mornings--fresh fruit, eggs, toast, pancakes, etc. or in winter oatmeal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836955 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 15:06:43 +0000 cake2017 2836955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mama Bird: I will be gone before everyone wakes up! Just like now! After everyone’s input i am really believing he’s capable! I always thought that- I just think that comment put me down. Thank you everyone </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836954 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 15:05:13 +0000 cake2017 2836954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Truth Bombs: Another story! I don’t understand why a mother would say that” oh “” you can’t do that. That’s just too much .... I want to speak with DH about this but I am holding off for a better time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836949 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:44:36 +0000 Mama Bird 2836949@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree it might be hard, but not impossible. Maybe talk to LO in advance about dad dropping him off, and set out clothes the night before. It may also help if you're gone before he wakes up. Especially when my kids were little, they'd behave for DH... but if I was around and not dropping them off they would just completely lose it. And then DH either had to drag them to day care kicking and screaming, or spend at least half an hour calming them down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836945 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:39:11 +0000 mdf106 2836945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the best way for your husband to build confidence is to figure it out and completely handle mornings himself, it is just a matter of practice. FWIW my husband is much better at handling the kids than I am, largely because he has much more solo time with them. </p> <p>One suggestion for if your husband wants to shower in the morning after the toddler is up is to have them shower together, especially because it seems like they will have plenty of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836940 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:31:46 +0000 Truth Bombs 2836940@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like your issue is your MIL, not your morning routine.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836939 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:30:29 +0000 mediagirl 2836939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: ah yes, I remember that one time I had to make an emergency trip to Target b/c we left w/o shoes and were too far from home to go back... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836938 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:30:15 +0000 cake2017 2836938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: He’s looking forward to it! He’s nervous I think so I think it will be good to just try to help more with getting him dressed etc. No I will make breakfast and send it with him to the school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836937 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:29:16 +0000 Sams Mom 2836937@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: I have definitely used the car seat as a restraint to get shoes on my semi feral toddler. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836936 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:27:35 +0000 cake2017 2836936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Tanjowen: Good idea! Thank you </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836934 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:23:52 +0000 Tanjowen 2836934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: I agree that prepping everything the night before is key! </p> <p>One tip I read on here before was to keep your kid's shoes in the car, right underneath the car seat. That way no battle to put them on and you don't forget them at home, just put them on when buckle them in the car seat! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836931 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:16:09 +0000 cake2017 2836931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: DS is home and my mom helps. He does not go to school yet. I do understand what your saying. Sorry for the confusion </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836927 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:11:27 +0000 cake2017 2836927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Yes! Everything will be laid out for them both(well DH’s lunch not his outfits haha). DH asked for this so it will help go smoothly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836925 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:08:11 +0000 cake2017 2836925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: I agree 100% and I am tired of hearing this from his family. MIL did everything and I was looked down when I said I am going to work (another post for another day) so when we shared this yesterday we received this negative response. DH wants to help and wants to do drop off so he can have more time with DS. His work schedule is hectic and this will allow for some time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836921 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:06:03 +0000 cake2017 2836921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: These are our exact reasons too. If DH drops off he can get there at 8/815am instead of 630am and I can get him earlier in the afternoon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836919 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 14:03:46 +0000 cake2017 2836919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: I agree with you! That is what my MIL stated and I snapped back saying he’s more than capable! He may have to wake him up but DS usually gets up on his own. @Sams Mom: I agree with you too! My MIL made those statements. </p> <p>Everything will be prepared for each day! I do this currently and it works well for everyone </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836903 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 13:25:13 +0000 LemonJack 2836903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It bothers me when people (like your MIL) act like dads aren’t capable. Because of our schedules, DH has always done the morning routine and drop off, and people have definitely made comments before about how lucky I am that he helps out. Uh, no. He’s just as much a parent as me. The double standard is aggravating.</p> <p>Anyway, to make mornings easier on all of us, we do as much the night before as possible (pack bags, lay out clothes, etc). It’s easiest if DH gets ready before our girls are up, but if he doesn’t, our younger DD (your son’s age) just plays in the bathroom with him while he gets ready. He gets both girls a quick breakfast (eggs, toast, etc), and when they’re done he gets DD2 dressed while DD1 (4) gets herself dressed. They brush their teeth right before they walk out the door.</p> <p>I leave soon after the girls get up, so the only thing I help with is doing our older daughter’s hair. Otherwise it’s the daddy show.</p> <p>I know mornings are a bit hectic, but he’s told me he likes having this time with them. When he is gone and I have to do the morning routine, my older DD doesn’t like it as she’s used to having daddy there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836898 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 13:07:49 +0000 hellocupcake 2836898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: honestly, I would be honest with him. Let him know that it might be hard and that’s okay he’ll get used to it when it becomes routine. I feel like sometimes my DH has it easier because the kids are more respectful of his requests. He can get them ready and out of the house faster than I can. He also doesn’t mind if they’re mismatched or wearing swim shorts and a sweater (clean is his main standard)...so be prepared for that. If he does things differently but not how you would, be okay with it :) I totally understand the worry. I overprepare when Dh has to parent alone but the more we get comfortable with being parents the easier it is to know that maybe it won’t be done how I think it should be, but the kids will be clean and safe so that’s good :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836881 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 12:36:14 +0000 Pollywog 2836881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband does pickup most days, but we tried drop off with a similar routine at that age. They all got up at 630. They took the dog on a stroller walk. They came home around 715, ate, got dressed, and went.</p> <p>What helped was that I had the bags and lunches packed and that I was gone before LO woke up. Dh showered and shaved at night. It was fine. The only reason we switched was dh switched jobs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836873 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 12:22:11 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2836873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do drop offs and pick up mostly, but that’s because I am home. DH is perfectly capable of getting LO dressed and out the door on his own. I will say he tends to need help with remembering to bring supplies- like he completely ignores requests for wipes and diapers. And if he were to pick up LO on a Tuesday he would forget to look into LO’s bin and get his swimsuit (splashground on Tuesdays). But, if he were picking up LO on a Friday he would know and remember to bring LO’s napmat home to wash it. </p> <p>Unless you’re asking your husband to do something you yourself don’t do or completely struggle with I don’t see why he wouldn’t be just as capable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836868 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 12:13:39 +0000 MaryM 2836868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others. I wouldn't try to "help" your DH with a routine unless he asks for your help in figuring it out! He's as much a parent as you are. See how much help he needs before you tell him how he should be doing things. </p> <p>For us, I make bottles and DH washes them (it's an agreement we made when I was puming and burned out and my fingers were cracking from doing SO many dishes!)</p> <p>So the night before, I pack DS's "lunch" for the day. I also pack mine. </p> <p>On Friday afternoons, I pick out DS's clothes for the week. I have a hanging organizer in his closet where I put his clothes for the week. When we're getting him ready for bed, I pull out the next day's clothes. </p> <p>Since going back to work, I shower at night after DS is in bed. I wake up at 6, get ready and dressed, and grab the lunches from the fridge. I wake DS by 6:30, give him a bottle if he needs it, get him dressed, and then we go to daycare. </p> <p>If we had a dog (and a fence), I imagine I'd let it out when I woke up so it could do it's business while I got ready. </p> <p>I do drop off and DH does pick up. The extent of me guiding DH on how to do pick up was telling him where they stored the car seat (when he was in a bucket seat) and telling him the teacher will bag up the empty bottles and give him a paper at the end of the day outlining his meals and sleep. Other than that, DH is an adult and can figure out what routine works best for him. </p> <p>He did drop off once. I let him figure out what works best. I think he dropped off the baby and then got ready for work. Whatever works for him is fine with me, as long as the baby is somewhere safe and being watched. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836844 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 11:25:15 +0000 Mrsbells 2836844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cake2017: my DH handles drop off but we both take turns handling getting them ready in the morning while the other person showers. If you won't be there in there in the morning you can help by laying out their outfits and packing lunches etc ?<br /> When my husband first started drop off i would follow up after drop off time to ask how it went just to be sure he didn't forget. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836839 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 11:21:01 +0000 snowjewelz 2836839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get what everyone else is saying. Between DH &amp; I, we both know that I'm the "better" parent, as in I just have more patience and am better at dealing with babies/toddlers. We are both involved 100% and DH does a lot that I don't do, for example he cooks, buys all groceries, and does all drop off/pick ups. With that said, he is just not geared to be great at taking care of little people (he'd be great at parenting teens later on), so while he puts in 110% effort, when he has to solo them I do try to make it as easy as possible for him. Do I NEED to? I guess no but we're a team and if he'd go out of the way to make sure we're fed when he's not home, then I also go out of my way to make things easier for him when he has to solo both our kids. Anyway... </p> <p>On days where I have to leave early to commute into our other office for meetings, we just prep everything possible the night before (btw we have 2 kids, 3.5 and 1.5). When they were younger, I'd let them sleep in next day's outfits even. Otherwise, I'd lay out all their clothes. So the next morning he literally just has to finish up packing their bags, make them breakfast and dress them. We let them watch TV for an hour in the morning anyway so they're usually not too all over us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836826 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 10:56:53 +0000 psw27 2836826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I mean this in the nicest way possible - but why are you worrying about your husband handling a typical parenting situation in 5 months? This is the type of emotional labor that you do not need to take care of. I am FULLY in support of you doing whatever you can to assist getting everyone out the door in the morning - so if that means one of you watches LO while the other one showers or you help pack lunches before you leave while they are still sleeping, then great! But basically this sounds like a totally normal parenting to me. It always amazes me when people comment/worry/are shocked when my DH has to do totally normal parenting activities. Anyway, I don't mean this in a snarky way at all - I think its very kind of you to worry and if DH has specific worries that you can come up with solutions to then that's great!! But I think DH can do some of the emotional heavy lifting here to figure it out for himself. And if his mother hasn't raised him to be sufficiently able to dress himself, let a dog in the yard, feed/dress his child and get to work, then shame on her! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dh-to-do-morning-drop-off-suggestions-please#post-2836810 Mon, 30 Jul 2018 10:20:12 +0000 Adira 2836810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think I'm confused as to what the problem is, like others have said. If you're currently doing morning drop-off, can't you just tell your Husband what you do and what works for you and then let him figure it out himself? My husband always does drop-offs, so he has a set routine that works for him, so the few times I've had to do it, I've asked his routine and it all goes smoothly for me. Same with pick-up, I always do that so if Hubs is doing it a day, I'll give him tips. But even without that, we both can just figure it out.</p> <p>Here's our routine though (although no dog to put into the mix):</p> <p>Hubs gets up and gets showered/dressed. Then he goes upstairs and gets the kids changed and dressed. Everyone back downstairs for a quick breakfast (the kids eat a fuller breakfast at school, so this is more of a snack). Brush teeth, put on shoes and jacks, then grab their daycare bags from the front hall (I get those ready for them the night before) and off they go! </p>