https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 10:45:49 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864992 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:19:27 +0000 Lozza 864992@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Will your DH be taking off time from work after #2, and will you have other help besides your DH?</p> <p>We're having #2 in October, and we are both keeping our older LO in daycare after #2, and DH will take off 2-3 weeks after #2 is born. Plus my mother lives 45 minutes away and is great so she will be around a lot. So I'll be fine if DH wants to run out and exercise or see friends or do whatever because either he'll be around the rest of the day for a few weeks, or because my mom will be there- plus, I won't have a toddler around to distract as well! If that weren't the case, I'd probably tell DH he needed to cut out the weekday extracurriculars for at least a month, and I'd tell him he could do what he wants with a few hours on the weekends especially around toddler naptime, like Artbee's husband does. I'm sorry, but it is exhausting and draining having a newborn all day- once DH went back to work, I used to count the minutes till he'd be back and could give me a break. I can't really imagine that with another kid to entertain. I think everyone needs decompression time, but I think it's also totally reasonable to ask DH to reschedule that time to be more conducive to helping with the kids, even if that means he gives up lessons and instead finds a friend to play with on weekends or when kids are sleeping. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864906 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:46:47 +0000 Anagram 864906@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe see if he can cut it down to once a week, with the condition that you'll also have 1 time a week to go off on your own to do whatever. (Obviously, with a newborn, that might not happen the first few weeks, but after that).</p> <p>Or, as you said...just ask him to take a month or so off from the activities. I'm not sure how they do it, but my SIL and BIL have 2 kids under 4 and they both manage to do their own activities. She takes photography classes (once a week) and he takes guitar lessons (once a week). And their older son takes every lesson under the sun (hockey, Kumon, soccer, piano) AND they both work full time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864725 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:29:07 +0000 Andrea 864725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Talk it over and let him know how you feel. Maybe he can take a few weeks off and then resume some activities. </p> <p>My DH works late a lot so I'm alone with the two kids, but I suppose that is different. I don't feel like he is out there having "fun" although he frequently goes to fun wine and dine activities through work so maybe that counts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864679 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 08:10:57 +0000 kml636 864679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just have to say, oh he!! no. I know how you feel... but I would definitely say something. My DH is the same, plays golf at least once a week, trains for marathons, did Tennis leagues before she arrived. After LO arrived, he decided on his own to pick golf and give up Tennis. He also goes running after she goes to bed now, maybe I guilt-ed him into it, maybe not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864645 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 07:55:08 +0000 Weagle 864645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would try to talk it through with him. My DH's extracurricular was his work softball league. He loves that thing, and it's a chance for him to hang out with his work friends. LO was born in the beginning of the season, so we decided to take it game by game. It worked because I felt like I had his support when I needed it, and he didn't feel like I was robbing him of his one regularly scheduled "fun" activity. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864604 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 07:36:42 +0000 Mrs. Twine 864604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should talk it over with him and try to let him know what you feel like you need. In our case, I was alone with both girls at about three or so weeks PP because of planting. We made it work, but if I could have had more of his help for a longer time, I would have loved it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864586 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 07:26:55 +0000 heffalump 864586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH volunteers at a few places on the weekends. But he always schedules it during LO's naps so he's mainly only gone when she's sleeping. Could you ask him to try take lessons during your toddler's naps so at least you'll only have to deal with the newborn? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864537 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 06:54:05 +0000 T.H.O.U. 864537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think talking to him rather then "telling" him would make a big difference. Maybe explain it would be nice if he would take a few weeks off and then maybe see about switching some to the weekends? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864451 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 03:28:17 +0000 blackbird 864451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As someone who has extracurriculars during the week, I think a week or two off is reasonable. Or a month, depending on recovery. And of course, its a two way street! He gets a night off a week to blow off steam (which will make him a better parent...I know that playing softball once a week refreshes me and I come home not feeling burnt out) and he returns the favor for you-grabs the kids for a few hours so you can nap or take a bath or whatever if you can't leave the kids yet. I would just see how it goes, though. A guy on our softball team's wife just had their second baby and he was back on week 2. I had lunch with her and she's managing just great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864389 Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:44:40 +0000 katsupgirl 864389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's a hard one. I wouldn't really "tell" him. I'd have a conversation where we both sat down and talked about what having two kids is going to do. </p> <p>Maybe open with something like.. "can we talk about August when baby #2 gets here? I'm thinking we both are going to need to make some sacrifices during that newborn phase. Remember what it was like with #1? I don't know how we'll schedule our time to make sure both kids get the attention they need." Hopefully that prompts him to say he'll give up the tennis. If he doesn't offer it up I'd gently ask if he'd consider halting lessons for awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dhs-extracurricular-activities-when-the-2nd-baby-comes#post-864384 Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:37:42 +0000 Cchoi4 864384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is currently a little over 2 yrs (26 months old) and just started day care 3 days a week. Most of that time he was growing up, DH has taken tennis lessons 1 day a week after work for a few hours. He comes home at 8:30pm (after LO goes to bed). He also has recently taken up golf and has a lesson or golf outing with buddies once a week. I am a SAHM.</p> <p>We are expecting our 2nd in early August and I'm wondering if I should mention to him that he should stop those lessons/outings until our newborn is no longer newborn anymore...or until I can get a handle on having two kids.</p> <p>How do I go about "telling" him to stop? He might come to that conclusion on his own but what if he doesn't? He has already stated he doesn't want to stop his tennis lessons.</p> <p>Do you think husbands/significant others should stop all extracurricular activities until a certain point in time? Or should I let him have one day a week to blow off steam from work? </p>