https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 01:04:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2519667 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 10:49:37 +0000 deerylou 2519667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crystal: It seems like likening it to a rollercoaster is warranted. We have indeed taken breaks to focus on other pressing things in our lives, but maybe another one would switch things up. Thanks for your words of advice, and I'm so sorry you've experienced struggle. Luck to you!</p> <p>@bloved: I appreciate you sharing your feelings about this. I am still not sure what I can eventually make peace with, but this feeling of indifference is definitely new and caught me off guard. I am happy to hear of your eventual success! Thank you for the added luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2519332 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 05:29:17 +0000 bloved 2519332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: definitely. I think it is natural to go through that phase. My first son was conceived through Ivf but it was a relatively "easy" journey as that first round worked and we had no losses. When it came time to conceive my second, I thought one FET and we'd be golden. Instead we had 2 losses, 2 FETS, a fresh Ivf and then a 3rd FET that was finally successful. By the third FET I was done. My embryos looked terrible (the doctor gave them a 20% chance) and I was emotionally drained. My husband and I agreed to give it a Hail Mary pass and then take at least a year off to reassess/see if we could be happy at one and done. Amazingly that last FET worked. </p> <p>For me, I am not sure I could have ever fully made peace with being one and done, but for my own sanity/family life, I definitely hit the point where even I recognized I needed a break. </p> <p>this is such a hard journey. wishing you so much luck and hoping you don't have to make that decision. :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2519299 Fri, 08 Apr 2016 00:34:57 +0000 Crystal 2519299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: TTC is hard. Really hard. Especially when you've been trying for a long time, and have had miscarriages. It's extremely draining. Sometimes, I'm very much over it, and others I'm filled with hope and know it will happen. </p> <p>A small mental break might do you good. I hope you get your BFP soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518926 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 17:12:14 +0000 deerylou 2518926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Shantuck: Thank you for sharing your story and struggles. It's definitely a tough journey, for sure. I am hoping your pregnancy is one of perfect health! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518902 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 16:57:53 +0000 Shantuck 2518902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>TTC is not for the faint of heart! I conceived DS the first month I tried 4 years ago. I remember signing up for health insurance and knowingly picking a plan that had no infertility coverage while my husband and I chuckled to ourselves that we wouldn't possibly need infertility insurance as we were extremely fertile. Ha! Flash forward to when my son turned 2.5 and we decided we were ready to try for #2. Nothing at all happened the first 6 months until I finally got pregnant and miscarried at 6 weeks. After that miscarriage, I felt like getting pregnant was consuming all facets of my life. I had lost weight and didn't fit my clothes anymore but didn't want to buy new ones because I knew I'd be pregnant soon. My husband wanted to plan a trip to Napa but I couldn't possibly go there because I'd for sure be pregnant soon. It was awful. I ended up finding a great acupuncturist and starting going once a week. I'm not sure if it was physically the acupuncture or just having somebody to talk to about everything but I felt lots more balanced. She put me on a better diet and I started focusing more on pursuing my own interests (took a fun vacation to Miami with my husband, bought tons of cute new clothes, etc.). I ended up pregnant again and miscarrying at 8 weeks but I actually felt more able to cope the second time around - just more at peace with everything rather than as despair filled as I had been the first time. For that first cycle after the second miscarriage, I was about to start a treatment cycle with an RE when I found out I was pregnant again on my own (about a year and 2 months after we'd starting trying). I'm currently 10 weeks and I don't know how this is all going to play out yet but I'm glad that I kept pushing forward. If for some reason this one doesn't work out, I plan to keep at it. This period of time will just be distant memory one day.... Best of luck. Fertility issues are truly awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518738 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 15:26:13 +0000 deerylou 2518738@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hb3233: Thanks so much! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518710 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 15:03:26 +0000 hb3233 2518710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice, but sending tons of positive thoughts :heart: :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518619 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 14:01:04 +0000 deerylou 2518619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@psw27: Thank you for the positive thoughts! Much appreciated. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518598 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:53:15 +0000 psw27 2518598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: no advice, just positive thoughts that things work out for you - one way or another! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518567 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:36:56 +0000 deerylou 2518567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Smurfette: Shucks, thank you so much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518566 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:35:49 +0000 Smurfette 2518566@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: I hope this is your month. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518564 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:34:45 +0000 deerylou 2518564@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catlady: Thank you for sharing! I have always wanted two children, but at the same time, DD still completes and fulfills our life, if that makes sense. After experiencing a CP, I got it in my head that we'd get lucky the next round. I have multiple friends that had their sticky pregnancy the month after a loss, so I deluded myself into believing the same would go for me. So far, no dice, but of course there's time. Anyhow, I'm really glad you guys got lucky! Wishing you a very successful pregnancy.</p> <p>@jetsa: I so appreciate your very kind words. I can definitely relate to feeling sick over the perpetual waiting game and disappointment. The stories of happy surprises are making me hopeful. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518530 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:22:06 +0000 jetsa 2518530@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Well it took us 18 months to get pregnant with our first and I was just sick over it. Thought something had to be wrong, as soon as we scheduled our 2nd round of testing after trying clomid not working we got pregnant.</p> <p>I knew I wouldn't put myself through that again it was just so much stress, and my DH wanted to be one and done. I was nursing and so we just kept discussing even though we both knew we weren't preventing. A week after LO1's first birthday we got a happy surprise and that was that. Truthfully if it had not happened then, we would have closed the doors and been okay with it.</p> <p>Our daughter is amazing and I can't imagine life without her but at that point in time we were done trying.</p> <p>So much love to you it is a hard place to be in. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518523 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:19:30 +0000 catlady 2518523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was sort of going through this recently. We had a miscarriage before my LO, and then when we started TTC #2, we ended up with another miscarriage followed closely by a chemical. We tried for one more cycle and then suddenly the weight of the previous losses finally hit me. I started getting depressed so DH and I decided to take a break from it and start up again in April (i.e. this month).</p> <p>While we were on break, I started second guessing having another. Life was good and so much less stressful without worrying about TTC. I started looking at our little family of 3 and wondering if that could be enough for me, and honestly, I decided it was. DH and I decided to extend our break a few months longer right before we got a happy surprise and found out that somehow I had gotten pregnant again. </p> <p>So now I'm excited again about #2 but honestly if we lose this pregnancy, I'm not sure if we will try again or just stop. I think probably we will give it one last try (especially since I could finally get tests done if I have a 3rd m/c) but I know how you feel. I feel very lucky about what happened.</p> <p>Hugs. This journey can be so hard. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518516 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:13:25 +0000 deerylou 2518516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: Yeah, we're in that general time frame, as well. Just a very different experience than what we had with DD, so I am sure that is lending itself to impatience and frustration.</p> <p>@T.H.O.U.: Perhaps we'll have a similar outcome. I suppose life occasionally seems to work that way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518493 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:04:48 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2518493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Yea I guess both times it just happened when I kinda was giving up and not sure if I wanted to go on. I was still tracking and DTD. If it hadn't I'm not sure what I would have done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518484 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 13:01:48 +0000 Raindrop 2518484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> <p>We had trouble getting our second also but it was actually quite a normal amount of time... we were just jaded because our first came so quickly. It took us about a year to conceive our second. I did at one point near the end think that it was never going to happen but I always wanted a second so we just pushed on.</p> <p>I'm not sure how I would have felt if we were okay having just one, that was just not a thought we had... it was more like wow they are going to have a bigger and bigger age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518474 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:58:59 +0000 deerylou 2518474@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@T.H.O.U.: I've definitely entertained the idea that it'll happen when we stop actively trying, but who knows. I'm so glad you got your two happy "surprises" - that's wonderful. :happy: </p> <p>@sslm: Thank you for the encouragement! I think that's about where I'm at; worried about more disappointment and hurt, but still unsure what I want to do, from here. I'm happy you pressed on and are soon to meet your little guy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518453 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:49:12 +0000 sslm 2518453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sort of went through this. We tried for about 10ish months to conceive our second, and I had a miscarriage somewhere around the 6 month mark. After the miscarriage I wasn't sure if I could continue, I was really scared of having my heart broken again... and all the months of BFNs was just really waring. </p> <p>No real advice I guess, just some encouragement that those seem like really valid and normal feelings.</p> <p>We did press on and finally got pregnant. Had some weird HCG #s in the beginning and thought it was another miscarriage. DH and I had some pretty serious discussions about closing the baby factory down... but somehow this little guy pulled through and looks completely healthy (I'm 36+3 today). </p> <p>I'm sorry things have been hard. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518446 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:47:37 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2518446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, especially after our second loss I really just was stuck not sure if we wanted to go on. We got a surprise right after that which I'm so thankful for because I really dont know how much more pressure I could have handled. Same thing going into #3, I wasn't sure if I could go through the stress and heartache again but we got a healthy surprise. ETA - surprise not that we "easily/randomly" got pregnant but that surprised that it finally worked without the temping/stressing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518440 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:45:26 +0000 deerylou 2518440@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Aw, thanks, friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518437 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:44:08 +0000 yoursilverlining 2518437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-ever-second-guess-your-desire-to-continue#post-2518429 Thu, 07 Apr 2016 12:41:26 +0000 deerylou 2518429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am reaching the point where I'm kind of losing the desire to become pregnant. I'm tired of tracking ovulation and sulking in the tampon aisle. We've made a slew of plans and goals for this year that revolve around a pregnancy and second child, and I find myself growing sick of planning for a hypothetical.</p> <p>I'm regularly asked when we're giving DD1 a sibling. That she's getting so big, she's no longer a little baby and it's time for another. Well meaning comments that leave me grinding my teeth (ha!). Everyone around me is pregnant and instead of being excited, I am admittedly a bit distant and bitter. I'm over feeling this way around people I really love and am perhaps incorrectly coming to the conclusion that if I make true peace with being one and done, I can crawl out of this rough spot and resume normalcy. </p> <p>Little things about having another baby are suddenly and strangely losing their novelty and spark. I find myself focusing on the positives of having an only child, and dreaming up plans that don't exactly consider another pregnancy or little one. I have an appt with my OB soon to go over our next steps, and I'm just kind of "meh" about it, when before I was dying for answers and solutions.</p> <p>Has anyone gone through something similar? Was it a stage and you ultimately resumed trying with determination (and hopefully great success)? Something that stuck with you and altered your family plans, permanently?</p> <p>I feel this is likely denial talking and I am probably trying to convince myself I am okay being done when I'm just tired of every month being tinged by disappointment. Anyway, I would love to hear about your experience and how things ultimately panned out for you. Thanks! </p>