https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 01 Jul 2026 05:53:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186925 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 10:17:51 +0000 loveisstrange 186925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. I had some issues with a traumatic birth and PPD and it took several weeks to learn to bond with her. I would say I didn't really feel like she was my baby until like 6-7 weeks. She's 10 weeks now and I couldn't love her more though. I had issues with breastfeeding too and I felt extremely rejected by her and I was so stressed I didn't even want to look at her. Like Artbee, life was so much better after we went to formula and I made peace with that decision.</p> <p>It does get easier to bond with them after they start to show their personality a bit. LO has such a big one already that I can't help but snuggle her all the time. She's going to be a terror when she gets older, so I'm going to do it while I can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186902 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 10:06:57 +0000 heffalump 186902@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel the bond right when she came out. My first thought was "that's my baby?! " and then I came up with a weird theory that they gave me the wrong baby. I mean, I didn't actually see her come out of my who ha. But I quickly realized I was crazy. </p> <p>After a couple of hours I did feel the bond though. But I did also have breastfeeding issues. I didn't like it. My milk didn't come in, and that just spiralled into a big mess. I bated feeding time. I dreaded it, and id cry the whole time. Finally I decided to just stop. It cant be good for my lo if I'm upset all the time, and I wanted feeding time to be a happy time. So I switched to formula and life was so much better. Shes happy and healthy, and I get more rest because other people can help feed her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186743 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 08:21:07 +0000 Lozza 186743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I really felt that bond till DS was about 3 months old, and it wasn't till probably even a month after that that I started feeling things like "I love him so much!" or "I miss him when I'm not around him!"<br /> Now he's 14 months and sometimes I wish I could go into his room at night and pick him us just to snuggle with him. I definitely did not feel that way when he was a newborn... I was more than happy to hand him off any time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186742 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 08:20:37 +0000 plaidpants 186742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for the first 6 or 8 weeks, I loved my LO, but I did not like her very much (if that makes sense). I cared for her and did everything moms are supposed to do but she cried SO much and I had no idea what I was doing! There were times when I just looked at her and thought, "Who are you? What are you doing in my house? Why are you yelling at me??" </p> <p>But like everyone is saying, it really does get so much better! We just had to get to know each other, and we've both changed so much. My LO is almost 6 months and she's like a different baby, and I think I've gotten more confident and sure of myself as a mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186734 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 08:06:24 +0000 Rock n Roll 186734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a hard time bonding at first and I had a vaginal fairly easy birth. It was especially hard because I was sure I would bond with her instantly. But when you're in pain, your own body feels like you don't know it, and you have this tiny person you needs you for everything and can't even give you a smile, it can be hard. I had that "I love you because you're my child, but I'm not in love with you" type of feeling the first few weeks. </p> <p>It gets so much better once they stop crying as much and can smile and interact with you. You will get that bond. It's just not instantaneous for all of us. And that's okay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186719 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 07:53:29 +0000 GrapeCrush 186719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love DS beyond words...but sometimes I don't feel like I'm as bonded with him as I should be...which is a scary feeling. It's gotten much better the last couple weeks, but I too find that I can be a little detached. If DH is around I am very ok with him taking card of him and I sort of keep to myself...or even other family members.<br /> I don't know if it's because I too had a c-section or the fact that I HATED breast feeding and stopped after 2 days of being home. But it's gotten better and I know it will continue to get better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186701 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 07:25:26 +0000 winniebee 186701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt bonded to him right away, but there are still times that I feel very frustrated with motherhood mostly because he is not a very good sleeper at night which has led to sleep deprivation. This makes me feel very guilty because we tried for awhile for our baby and I had pre-term labor and was very fearful for his well-being. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186685 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 07:03:14 +0000 Ms.SK 186685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are all so brave to share with us, thank you!!! My babies are still cooking but this is one of my big fears that I feel i don't have the right to share. I love how safe and supportive hello bee is for anyone who needs it. Thank you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186681 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 06:53:46 +0000 Sammyfab 186681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I felt bonded right away but that's not to say I enjoyed motherhood right away. Even now at 15 weeks I am still not loving this newborn/infant stage. </p> <p>I have grown to really dislike the comments about 'cherishing this time because they grow up so fast.' LO hasn't been an easy baby but he hasn't been a hard one either and DH and I are both looking forward to when we can do more with LO like go to the park, beach or zoo. While baby smiles and giggles do make our day, we are ready for the next stage!</p> <p>Oh, and we had major Bfing issues for the first month. Hang in there! Once you are ready to give up it gets better! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186655 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 05:54:05 +0000 BeachMama 186655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bree72 and @pastemoo I had a very long labor that ended in a c section. I was so exhausted that by the time they showed her to me I was like "great, can I sleep now?". I don't know if I feel the c section made it worse but it was difficult caring for her at first while healing. My husband is soo in love with her and my MIL keeps talking about the great love you feel as a parent and I just kinda nod my head and fake agreement. I feel like the worst mom ever and fear that I'll never be the mom I wanted to be. It doesn't help that she scream when I take her off the boob after a she's only been using me as a paci for 20 minutes and not actually swallowing anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186652 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 05:47:51 +0000 BananaPancakes 186652@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pastemoo: I absolutely agree. I was so traumatized by the surgery that I felt like my mind and body were in a state of survival and sadly, defense. It mentally felt like I had been attacked in a way, and it was hard not to feel some resentment towards the baby. It would have been nice to have someone talk to me about how I felt and not just how the baby was latching and how many dirty diapers he'd had. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186632 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 04:53:02 +0000 pastemoo 186632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, and sometimes still let myself be too detached,,, I'm working on it. It's better in the afternoon and worst from 4am to 10am.<br /> Like @bree72, the feeling is worse from the aftermath of the c section.<br /> I think counseling should be offered right away in the hospital to c section mamas and those who have to be separated from their babies after birth. When they first brought me my baby, I didn't believe he was mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186613 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 02:19:59 +0000 brownie 186613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bree72: @BeachMama: My baby screamed and really wasn't much fun to be around for the first almost 6 months. It is terrible to say that but when they scream constantly it is very hard. My son had milk soy protein intollerance and that is why he cried. The removal of those helps soooooo much. It has made everything much more pleasant. By 6 months we had taken him off of his reflux meds and he only fussed when it has to do with sleep.</p> <p>As difficult as it was and how I very much felt that I wasn't bonded I must have been. I knew something was wrong even when others were telling me I was crazy. </p> <p>At 1 year I am in a much better place. Stick it out, find support and never let anyone make you feel crazy because you aren't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186600 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 00:59:32 +0000 BananaPancakes 186600@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, not at all. It was a good 5 weeks before I started to feel anything, really. It was a scary feeling, especially because my husband and both of our families were just so over the moon, and here I was thinking this was the biggest mistake ever. But, I also was extremely stressed (like PTSD-like stressed) from the fact that I had a c-section and I know that had a lot to do with it. I was just basically tryIng to get through the depression, so bonding took second to that. </p> <p>Once the cloud started to lift and I felt more in control, the bonding came. It's still getting there at 8 weeks, but it's hard because everyone is like "aren't you so happy to be a mother, Isn't it the greatest thing ever, etc., etc." but we're battling reflux right now, so he's fussy and doesn't ever sleep and holy balls am I tired, so no, I don't absolutely love being a mother yet. But I do love him and I have hope those feelings will come. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186587 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 00:24:41 +0000 Mrs. Pen 186587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skibobrown: I had a lot of resentment during the first 8 weeks too. It was hard feeling like I was the only one that could care for him, since DH couldn't feed him. I was the one not getting any sleep. I was depressed and lonely since DH worked 12 hour days, I was alone the whole day. It is really hard to adjust from being a couple who has the flexibility to do anything we wanted, to having a little life completely dependent on you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186574 Tue, 12 Jun 2012 00:00:11 +0000 skibobrown 186574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did feel that bond right away... but I also had a lot of trouble with motherhood at the beginning, and I did start to resent the baby for a while, despite the fact that I knew that I loved her. A big part of the resentment had to do with feeding, since I had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding. </p> <p>Don't feel bad about not feeling the strong bond right away. It's totally normal for it to take a while... and breastfeeding can be incredibly hard FWIW. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186572 Mon, 11 Jun 2012 23:56:55 +0000 lemondrop 186572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, it took me a while! I of course loved him, but the bond took time to really grow. They handed him to me, and I really didn't know what the heck to do with him. </p> <p>One thing that helped me was to go to a breastfeeding support group at my hospital. It was nice to meet other moms who were having difficulties getting started. That and HelloBee made me feel like I wasn't alone with adjusting to the new baby stuff.</p> <p>Sending you big hugs, it took me about 8 weeks to start to feel more in control, and he started getting funner at that point too. Many of us have been there too, you aren't alone feeling like a walking pair of boobs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186571 Mon, 11 Jun 2012 23:54:23 +0000 Mrs. Pen 186571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did... I think one thing that helped was I had a scare with pre-eclampsia while I was pregnant and really feared for my baby's life. So when I saw him I was so happy he was with me, in my arms.</p> <p>I'm sorry you don't feel it :( it does take time for so many mothers. You are doing awesome though. I know those newborns eat a ton!! Good luck!! ((HUGS)) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-bonded-to-baby-right-away#post-186570 Mon, 11 Jun 2012 23:48:38 +0000 BeachMama 186570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did you feel an initial strong bond to your baby or did it take some time to develop?</p> <p>I've never considered myself a mothering person or a baby person. My LO is 18 days old and is very fussy/colicky. She takes forever to be put down and screams after feelings. I've grown to hate breastfeeding. I don't feel that strong attachment to her that everyone talks so much about. I know for some mothers it takes a little longer. I think maybe when she interacts a little more I'll feel more connected, but for now I just feel like her milk machine. </p>