https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:30:41 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2421558 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:32:48 +0000 wrkbrk 2421558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Maybe! I don't know anyone besides me who FF except one friend who had to bc she had severe pre-e and was taking seizure meds after her baby's premature birth ... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2421520 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:18:20 +0000 NavyRN2012 2421520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I FF my first two, and never felt judged. FF is the norm in my area. However, #3 is EBF and I feel very judged by my family. I frequently get comments from family. And I can't even mention my plans to BF past a year 🙄 It seems that no matter the decision we make for our babies, we can't win. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2421494 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 10:12:09 +0000 clover 2421494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to supplement with LO1 from the beginning and I always felt judged for it (no clue whether it was in my mind or not). He began to prefer the bottle and refuse the breast turning me to EP with formula supplementation. I think its another one of those pressures that hits FTMs really hard. LO2 is 2 months and is EBF so far but I already told my husband and the pediatrician that if she starts refusing the breast I will not EP again and she will be on formula. You have to feed your baby an acceptable form of nutrition, as a STM I have much more confidence in my choices so I would not feel the need to justify them again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2421441 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 09:45:29 +0000 Anagram 2421441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: maybe it's regional or your particular friend circle? I think where I live, FF is still very, very common and in my mom's group at least half were formula feeding from the beginning and that increased over time as people went back to work. I only knew 2 mothers that went to a year breastfeeding. I was the only EPer and I think some of my mom friends were incredulous about that (like, why I would do it, which in retrospect, I sometimes wonder the same thing), but I never felt any judgement at all. But maybe that's just luck with the particular mom friends I made, I don't know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2421235 Thu, 14 Jan 2016 05:31:54 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2421235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With lo1 I did, but with lo2 I don't. Maybe that has to do with the fact that it just didn't work out with lo1 and with lo2 I chose not to because of health reasons, so I guess I know in my head I have that to fall back on. I feel no guilt about it though. Disappointment, sadness, maybe. But not guilt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420858 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 18:47:39 +0000 ldh112 2420858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: Yeah figuring out how much is tricky, what with growth spurts and all. At 6.5 months, she gets about 5 oz 5-6 times a day. Occasionally she wants an ounce more so I make a little more. Formula isn't cheap so I start with less and make more is needed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420713 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 16:29:31 +0000 cat620 2420713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the beginning I did, but with time I got to the point where I just stopped caring. I feel like everyone can find something to judge a person on, even when breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420677 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 16:09:28 +0000 Finfan 2420677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: I have to be honest and say that for a lot of my mom friends on Facebook I don't even know whether they BF or FF. There are a few who work as breastfeeding peer counselors for the county health department but the vast majority never say. I suspect all of my working mom friends use formula to some extent. I do feel the guilt I experienced was from internalizing the "breast is best" message. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420671 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 16:02:46 +0000 wrkbrk 2420671@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Thanks!! Yes. So sorry I want to feed my starving newborn who was crying all night overnight for the first 4 days of his life. As my ped put it: "We are pro-food." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420668 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 16:01:33 +0000 littlejoy 2420668@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: Yes!!! If you've never had to give your starving baby formula ... then you really shouldn't have anything to contribute to a mom who has tried everything. Right?! People are the worst! </p> <p>I'm happy you found a balance that worked for you. Once I stopped obsessing over my production, and started supplementing more, I felt that really amazing balance I needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420665 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 15:59:27 +0000 wrkbrk 2420665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: Lactivist!! Perfect term! I had the same situation. People want to constantly tell me to try essential oils, or oatmeal cookies, or yada yada for my low supply. </p> <p>To the OP's question - I am surprised so many people here think the judgment was in their heads. I am 100% certain that my mom friends judge me for FF based on things they've actually said and how they act. Shrug. I had reasons. DS was losing weight rapidly, was dehydrated, my milk still wasn't in on day 5, his ped instructed us to supplement etc etc. I probably could have weaned him off the supplement but I didn't. Now, like one PP mentioned, he gets about 10 ounces of breastmilk a day and 20 ounces of formula. And it's REALLY GOOD for me not to have to get up in the middle of the night and worry about pumping and for DW to be able to give DS a bottle in public.</p> <p>Rant over. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420570 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:55:37 +0000 littlejoy 2420570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't feel the need to defend formula ... but I did feel the need to explain to my "lactivist" friends that there IS such thing as chronic low supply. They would always suggest stupid things like drinking beer, or water, or taking herbs. Obviously I tried alllll of those things. It just got annoying. I had someone ask (while I was making a bottle), if formula was actually safe. Ugh. People are stupid, and I tried to not let that be my problem. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula/page/2#post-2420546 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:40:08 +0000 Cherrybee 2420546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: Ugh. I hate that. Formula companies are not allowed to advertise infant formula here so instead they advertise their "follow on milk" products, but spend the majority of the advert (TV commercial) going on about how great breastfeeding is, then add "if you choose to move on, our formula is great for babies 6 months +). WTF??? Its so bloody insulting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420532 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:34:13 +0000 Finfan 2420532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: An infant feeding consultant is a much better title. I find it difficult to know when I should increase the amount of formula in baby's bottle. I'd like to know what the typical amounts are at different ages and I would like to be able to find it without having to hear/read about how breastfeeding is better first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420489 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 14:01:43 +0000 Kemma 2420489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lioneyes: I loved my lactation consultant but I wish there was such a thing as an "infant feeding consultant"! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420476 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 13:56:42 +0000 Finfan 2420476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BadgerMom: DH prefers it for that reason too. I like not having to worry about pumping or my supply since I will be going back to work in less than two weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420428 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 13:33:59 +0000 BadgerMom 2420428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same as pp. The only person I seemed to have to justify it to was myself! No one else seemed to care. They actually liked it because they could feed the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420378 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 13:16:25 +0000 lioneyes 2420378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I FF from the very beginning and did not feel that I needed to justify my decision to anyone. My hospital is very pro-nursing, and they were still very supportive of my choice (lactation consultnt was sent to my room by mistake, and after apologizing asked if she could help me with anything formula feeding related). I think because I was confident in my decision (intensified by the fact that LO came early and was 5lbs and needed to gain), I didn't notice if anyone was judgy, and the only person I can really recall saying something was my MIL, but she's an ass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420248 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 12:13:24 +0000 Tanjowen 2420248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: I totally felt like I needed to justify it. Nobody really cared what I did, but I had a few friends that kept encouraging me to continue because it was what's best. I took all the pro breastfeeding articles and comments very personally, but that was all my guilt I put on myself. </p> <p>I had severe PPA and low supply, and my anxiety only impacted it even more. By week 4, we were totally on formula, more for my mental health than anything else. The guilt about killed me the first 6 months because I felt I didn't have a real "reason " to have stopped breastfeeding. It took until about a year for me to realize my son is healthy, happy and I didn't harm him. I very much hope with #2 I will give it a try again and if it doesn't work be okay with switching to formula. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2420181 Wed, 13 Jan 2016 11:42:15 +0000 nana87 2420181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No one ever said anything that made me feel judged, but I still felt really self conscious about it. We combo-fed lo after I had supply issues and it was absolutely the right decision for us-- I'm just weaning lo now at 21 months and using formula from months 2-12 meant we could continue our bfing relationship while making sure lo was thriving. But I always felt I needed to justify why we were giving her bottles too, even though no one ever made me feel badly </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2419325 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 20:03:07 +0000 Littlebit7 2419325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I feel ya on this. I switched to exclusively pumping at about 4 months. At work it was terrible. I'm a physical therapist. Patients are scheduled every hour. There just is no way to pump. I had my lunch hour but other than that, nothing. I would have had to stay another two hours in order to take two pump breaks and still see my patients</p> <p>So I'm very part time. People are incredulous that I pumped and am pumping still I recently switched to formula and one pump. I'm so much happier. Thankfully people are used to seeing LO with bottles from the pumping; I'd just rather not deal with having that convo with people. </p> <p>I did give BF a good go for three months. However I as a type A person I was and am so much less stressed knowing that LO gets X oz of food X times per day. Formula or breastmilk whatever. I just want LO to gain the Lb's </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2419268 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 19:27:43 +0000 erinpye 2419268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I knew I shouldn't have, but I was so disappointed to have to stop BF my first at 8.5 months, that I did. It took a while, but I got over it. Most of my mom friends, if not all, BF, so I would explain why I wasn't anymore. My second wasn't FF, she BF until 16 months, and that was healing for me. To be clear, I believe feeding a baby, however you do it, is best, I just had personal goals and disappointments to grapple with, which involved justification of FF to try and ease my own mind at the time.</p> <p>ETA: conversely, I did have to justify BF past 12 months to my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2419128 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 17:30:48 +0000 Finfan 2419128@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@californiadreams: it does seem like you can't win no matter what you do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2419115 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 17:24:58 +0000 californiadreams 2419115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>interesting to read these replies because as someone who breastfed for over one year, at that point, i felt i had to justify why i was still nursing and felt judged for it like i was weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2419097 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 17:16:51 +0000 BeachMama 2419097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. We supplemented with DD and switched completely at 9 months. DS has had formula since day 5. I'm always afraid of judgment, though really the only person who I've gotten any from is my MIL. I'm always on edge when I buy formula at the store, like someone is going to see it and make a comment to me. But nobody ever has. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2418595 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 12:59:23 +0000 yin 2418595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt the need to justify with my first, even with a pumped bottle of milk. I felt like others judged me, even though I know now that it was just in my head. With my second cared much less. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2418586 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 12:55:15 +0000 Finfan 2418586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Yes, there are really no good studies because there are so many factors in play so we are left with "breastfeeding might be a little bit better in some cases we guess?" Being the scientific answer and "breast is best and formula is posion" being the message moms hear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2418576 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 12:50:16 +0000 Anagram 2418576@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Finfan: I feel like so much of that stuff is environmental, too. How can they really do a study that takes into consideration alllll the variations (daycare or SAH, what kind of daycare, older siblings that are in school, season allergies that run in the family, SAH situations that vary--like one mom rarely leaves the house and the other is out taking their kid to classes every day). I feel like all the environmental stuff would skew any kind of results.</p> <p>Or maybe I just think that because my EBF, daycare kiddo was constantly sick from the second she started daycare until my summer break--whereas my SAHM friends who formula fed had 1-2 illnesses the whole year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2418569 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 12:46:46 +0000 Finfan 2418569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rocker2014: it helped me to know that I was 100% formula fed and was one of the healthiest kids I know. Even if BF kids are healthier on the average, it doesn't mean that will be the case for any specific child. I also read that the "healthier kids" translates to slightly fewer ear infections and diarrhea episodes (like 1 less in a year). So that's hardly something to beat yourself up about, IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-feel-you-need-to-justify-using-formula#post-2418560 Tue, 12 Jan 2016 12:41:04 +0000 Alba4 2418560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but it was all in my head. I put myself through emotional hell trying to nurse a tongue-tied kid and then beat myself up for having low supply. I pumped for 6 months even though he mostly ate formula.</p> <p>This time around, I won't be so hard on myself. If BF works...great! If not, going right to formula. </p>