https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 07:07:00 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons/page/2#post-569765 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:57:21 +0000 PrincessBaby 569765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally felt like just a Big Ol Boob at first...LO was just always latched on Mah Boobs. I couldn't do anything else! But every week, it got easier and easier as we kind of got the hang of things and eventually got a schedule going. It's still tough to be soooo physically attached, ie, if LO is napping and I need to go run errands, I have to wait until she wakes up so I can feed her before leaving her with DH instead of just being all, "Peace Out! I'm going to Target! Give the baby a bottle when she wakes up!". And then I know that I need to be back in less than 2 hours, just to be safe! OR the other day when DH brought her to me as I was going to our bathroom to go #2 and she was screaming her head off starving...I didn't have 10 minutes to go have my own bodily functions! I BF'ed her and held it in, totally uncomfortable, until she was a happy camper. Stuff like that sucks!!!</p> <p>However, I am deathly afraid of her getting sick and the reason that I stick with the inconvenience is because I know I'm passing so much immunity to her. FFing has been so tempting, especially early on when LO had Breastmilk Jaundice and I had to FF and pump/freeze for several days to get her well...I was like, "Holy crap, this is wonderfully easy and convenient!" But Mom Guilt got the best of me and I stuck BFing out:(</p> <p>And I really grew to love that I can stick a boob in her mouth whether she's hungry or not and she is instantly calm. I fell in love with that look of pure ecstasy when she first latches on, and when she pops off and is all Milk Drunk and lazy. I would really miss that if I went to FF....</p> <p>That being said, I was a FF baby. So was my DH...And we both turned out fine! I actually have the immune system of a horse or something...I've only been sick twice in the past 5 years... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons/page/2#post-569742 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:00:35 +0000 mrs. wagon 569742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sweetie. I know exactly how you feel. For a long time I cried through every feeding. So horrible AND the guilt of crying and being so negative while I'm supposed to be having this magical, bonding time with my new baby? So awful. I also needed both hands (and could have used some more hands!) for nursing. I always envied those moms who could just pop the baby on. Nursing in public was hell because I needed both hands (one to hold baby's head, one to position my breast) so we were always wrestling with the nursing cover. Every feeding I just wanted it to be OVER. </p> <p>I totally agree with the others to make short term goals. I think my first goal was a month. Then 6 weeks. Every time I wanted to quit, I was close to a goal, so I'd just do another week just to make it to that goal so I could quit with a clear conscience. Then when I hit the goal it would be at an easier point so I'd just keep going and make a new goal. By the time I made a goal of 6 months (around 4 or 5 months?) nursing was almost second nature. Still physically difficult because of positioning, but soooooo easy compared to the beginning. </p> <p>There is light at the end of the tunnel and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Even just making it this far you have done so much for your baby already. You are doing an amazing job at one of the most difficult things you or anyone else will EVER do. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons/page/2#post-569636 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:44:35 +0000 hummusgirl 569636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I like to say I "stopped" rather than "quit" or "gave up," but yes, I did stop when I could have continued (though I had some complications). Ultimately breastfeeding/pumping was making me anxious and miserable and sapping the enjoyment out of spending time with my LO. I researched the benefits of BFing and did my own little risk/benefit analysis and decided that for us, going to all-formula was the best choice. I know other moms would have chosen to soldier on but I'm comfortable with my decision (with just a smidgen of lingering guilt, I won't lie). </p> <p>Whatever you decide, you're doing a great job and your LO is lucky to have you! If you do decide to stop BFing, this blog post about "How To Give Up Breastfeeding And Not Feel Guilty About It" seems right up your alley. :-) </p> <p><a href="http://porchphilosophy.com/2013/02/12/how-to-give-up-breastfeeding-and-not-feel-guilty-about-it-part-2/" rel="nofollow">http://porchphilosophy.com/2013/02/12/how-to-give-up-breastfeeding-and-not-feel-guilty-about-it-part-2/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569569 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:00:09 +0000 jedeve 569569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was just where you were. And everyone saying it got better at 6-8 weeks didn't help because that seemed forever away! But soon you will realize you haven't cried in a few days and that he is latching quicker and before you notice it will be fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569517 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:04:52 +0000 runsyellowlites 569517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first few weeks are some of the most trying weeks I think any woman will/can ever endure... For me it was harder than unmedicated childbirth b/c it didn't end quickly. Every single day and every single feeding was a choice for me to stick with it. </p> <p>Aside from the feeding issues we had I dealt ALOT with feeling "touched out" since P was pretty much constantly feed and was perma-connected to me the first 5 months. DH couldn't even sit next to me after P went to bed b/c I would feel absolutely smothered. It was difficult and at one time I considered pumping so that DH could feed P her bedtime feeding so I could get my body back for a little while before it was "mommy &amp; daddy time".</p> <p>I'm in the camp of "Get Happy" in less than ideal situations though so I took some time really thinking about why I was breastfeeding and that if I was going to continue I was the one that needed to change, not the circumstance. It took a few days to "wrestle" within myself but I overcame it and I'm now fine breastfeeding frequently and giving DH the physical touch time he needs.</p> <p>The days that were hardest for me, I would read this kellymom post...... Getting back to perspective and realizing that "liking" or "enjoying" breastfeeding wasn't the primary reason I was doing it always helped.</p> <p>"Are mothers supposed to love breastfeeding 24 hours a day?</p> <p>August 28, 2011. Posted in: Common Newborn Concerns,What is Normal?<br /> More Sharing Services</p> <p>by Glenda Dickerson, IBCLC.<br /> Reprinted with permission from the author.</p> <p>If there is a day or week where you no longer feel like you are loving or even enjoying breastfeeding, does it mean that this is the right time to stop?</p> <p>I have felt for years that many mothers wean because they thought they were supposed to love and/or enjoy breastfeeding 24 hours a day. Some of the mothers I have admired the most are mothers that breastfed in spite of not being in love with the act of breastfeeding. They breastfed because they knew it was the right choice for their babies.</p> <p>Our culture has become so addicted to the concept that we are supposed to only do what makes us happy or brings us immediate joy, that we lose a lot of the good stuff along the way–pride in accomplishment, joy in fulfilling a commitment, feeling of achievement through meeting a goal. I don’t think this means people are more selfish today than they were in the past, I just think they have been taught to have different expectations about what they are supposed to feel and how they should respond to those feelings.</p> <p>Breastfeeding is the ultimate gift a woman gives her baby–because she chooses everyday whether to continue or to stop. Don’t look at breastfeeding as something you will enjoy or even like all the time, but as a commitment to your child’s health–similar to the commitment of staying married even when you don’t particularly like your husband for a few days, or staying in college when it is really rough for a while. There are peaks and valleys with breastfeeding and sometimes you will thoroughly enjoy it, and sometimes you will resent it–but in the end you will not regret one day that you stuck with it, even though you were not feeling that joy 100% of the time. When you are in a valley, rest assured that the joy you have felt with feeding in the past will reappear and you will be glad you waited it out.<br /> Breastfeeding — it’s too important not to."</p> <p>What you're doing is the very best thing you can do for your lo and is what was specifically designed for him. It's hard, and you're doing it! Go you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569506 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:53:40 +0000 SleepyMonkey 569506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mentally, I had a really difficult time with breastfeeding. I hated losing control of my day and not knowing when LO would be hungry next. Growth spurts and cluster feeding caused many tears for me. My mom told me it was OK to quit if I didn't like it. But I figured switching to formula wouldn't solve the problem of losing control of my day and it would add more work. So I set short term goals like 1 month, 6 weeks, 2 months etc. By 8 weeks I became indifferent to it and by 12 weeks I began really enjoying it. Now that I've gone back to work, I really miss those nursing sessions during the day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569500 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:43:31 +0000 birdofafeather 569500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I had that painful latch on the left side where the right was fine. I would say in the last week it evened out and is fine now! I'm at 5 weeks PP. stick in there! You can do it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569490 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:34:36 +0000 tysonja 569490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had some latch problems too and it lasted until he was about just under 4 months :( i would just tell myself that "this was the last bf ever!" and then trick myself into doing it again the next time. I'd also pump sometimes instead and give myself a break. we did end up supplementing formula because of low supply and at 7 months he switched to all formula. do whatever is best for you and your family!! :) i will say though that washing bottles is kind of blah, and i wish we didn't spend $150+ a month on enfamil :) you are amazing!! these first weeks/months are difficult indeed!</p> <p>ETA: the high formula cost is because we get the premium enfamil (powder) + LO eats A LOT, the little chunker, + we live in vancouver (expensive everything city). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569486 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:23:40 +0000 autumn865 569486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>((Hugs!)) I totally get your frustrations and those first few weeks were brutal! We had every problem in the book and I remember every hour feedings. Heck, I watched four seasons of Felicity and six seasons of Dawsons Creek during our marathon feedings in the first three months. I cried, she cried , we all cried out of sheer frustration. It got down to that i would go one more day, one more week and so on. I know everyone says it but it gets better and easier! It is just getting to that point. Bottom line is if BFing isn't working or for you, there is nothing wrong with stopping. You are loving and caring for your baby with milk, formula, whatever. I just know now looking back I am so glad I stuck with it. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569444 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:13:00 +0000 sotomorrow 569444@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@zippylef: I also quit breastfeeding (well, she never latched, but I quit exclusively pumping at around 13 weeks) because it was getting in the way of enjoying my baby/being a mom. So much happier. </p> <p>I find formula to be much easier than nursing and pumping, especially as a working mom. There is no need to warm bottles. Expense-wise, it is about $30/week for formula (Similac) for us. I wish I could feed every member of my household for that little money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-569205 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 15:45:56 +0000 oliviaoblivia 569205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there any way you could get an individual LC appointment?</p> <p>In my group BF session LO had a perfect latch and was used by the LC as an example. Two weeks later LO had thrush and I had tremendous nipple pain. I would cry during every feed but thought it would go away once lo got better. Finally I called for a prescription but they wouldn't give me one until I had an LC appt. Turns out in addition to thrush, LO was slipping off towards the end of a feed causing damage that I would feel at the next meal. Within a day of my appt things were 100x better. Now at five weeks BFing is the breeze every book says it should be.</p> <p>You are a good mom by taking care of yourself and D no matter which way you feed him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568907 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:59:14 +0000 mrsmenow 568907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I honestly think that somtimes it is just going to hurt even if the latch is correct. With my second I had that toe curling pain for the first 6 weeks. I was tajing Tylenol/ibuprofen all the time before feedings. It di get better around the 6 week mark. To get through the pain I would count down from 30 (about how long the pain was). ever feedinh just to get myself through- I knew I could make it through 30 seconds and it would be better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568900 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:57:52 +0000 Minnie_Girl 568900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I also had pain while latching when I was doing everything right. Sometimes the nipples just need to be "broken in" because the tissues are tight...that's a fun little genetic gift some women get. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568888 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:53:39 +0000 pl0508 568888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As he gets older you will get your hands back. BUT with that being said I just wanted to pop in and say only you know what is best for your and baby ! While breast feeding is beneficial so is having a happy non stressed mommy ! You are doing a great job regardless of what decision you make ! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568886 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:53:09 +0000 googly-eyes 568886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had latch problems and pumped and quit pumping for personal reasons like zippylef...she was actually very encouraging when I was deciding what to do!! Like her I also was diagnosed with PPD and I think the pumping contributed not only because it's depressing but because between feeding and pumping I didn't keep up well and my dr said my hormones were probably all messed up as th result of stopping soooo slowly over the six weeks I did it.</p> <p>Happy mama makes a happier baby IMO and while I don't regret stopping I do sometimes feel sad about it. Still I know we're all happier for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568873 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:49:53 +0000 ladyfingers 568873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: I have, multiple times and a few phone consults. I'm doing everything they say and it still hurts while latching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568787 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:12:48 +0000 Minnie_Girl 568787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>At the beginning, I had to tell myself that I would reevaluate in a week, every week, and see if things were getting better. If I still felt it was worth it and that we were making progress, we'd continue. </p> <p>There were times when I didn't see improvement and I was miserable, BUT I never reached a point where I thought breastfeeding wasn't worth it. I kept going. And without me even realizing it, things got better! </p> <p>It was a subtle change for me, and that made the first two months pretty discouraging. But it did get better. </p> <p>Consider the really difficult times a sign that you are growing and improving. It's like going to the gym...the discipline hurts, but it really is worth it. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568759 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:00:41 +0000 regberadaisy 568759@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: have you talked to a LC about the pain during latching? I firmly believe with a right latch there should not be pain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568587 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 12:12:00 +0000 sera_87 568587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I have the same problem. I eat a lot of one handed foods. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568545 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:59:00 +0000 Mrs. Pen 568545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It does get better! I remember newborn days the feedings lasted 45-60 minutes, sometimes even 1.5 hours- it was tedious. But by 6 weeks it had dropped to 30 minutes and by 12 weeks, 15 minutes and by 6 months only 5-10 minutes! It is so much easier now. </p> <p>Good call on setting short term and long term goals- that's what I did and I'm so proud I've made it a year! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568542 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:57:59 +0000 sera_87 568542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, if you need to supplement with formula, then do it. You're not any less of a mom for doing so. Pinkie swear. </p> <p>I found that just by giving LO one bottle a day saved my sanity and my relationship with nursing. Trust me, some days I had to take it one feeding at a time. I also decided that stressing myself out with trying to pump (and we don't have a working freezer right now so it wouldn't have worked out anyway) wasn't worth it either.</p> <p>Although I will say - it does get better! good luck with whatever you ultimately decide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568484 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:41:15 +0000 Mrs. Bee 568484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i know it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but you're not a bad mom for wanting to give up! try setting mini goals for yourself (like 1 month) and reassess when you hit each milestone. that's been really helpful for a lot of moms to stay motivated.</p> <p>it breastfeeding doesn't work out, you're not a bad mama and you're doing great! there are still options you can try like exclusively pumping. my pediatrician said as long as baby gets 2 feedings of breastmilk a day, they're still getting almost all the benefits. that took a huge weight off my shoulders. you could probably get 2 feedings worth in just one pumping session. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568470 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:34:40 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 568470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a really hard time nursing, and I had nipple pain in one side up until the day I stopped (10 months). And the pain was so bad for the first couple of months that I did cringe everytime she latched. I had to set mini goals like @Thehistoryofus said, and that really helped. It's very overwhelming in the first weeks. I felt almost trapped because I felt like I couldn't get anything done, except nurse DD. every. single. hour. </p> <p>If the pain is really bad, try using a nipple shield (have an LC show you how to use it!), and that can give you some relief until both of you have the hang of breastfeeding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568466 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:33:30 +0000 loveisstrange 568466@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: There is absolutely no shame in quitting if that's what you feel like you need to do. Your happiness IS a valid reason to quit. I am a firm believer that breast is only best if it's best for everyone involved, mom included.</p> <p>I quit breastfeeding for medical reasons but I quit pumping for personal ones. I just felt like it was getting in the way of my enjoyment of my baby, so I quit. I wont lie and say that I didnt regret it a bit and that I wasn't sad that I missed out on the nursing relationship with my daughter but breastfeeding/pumping was a contributing factor to my PPD and quitting was what was best.</p> <p>Only you can decide what you should do. I wish you the best of luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568455 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:31:33 +0000 rachiecakes 568455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: the first few week are HELL. I can promise that it won't be like that forever or even for long.<br /> But do what makes you happy. I totally agree with Happy Mama = Happy Baby.<br /> Between the every hour feeds, no sleep, people visiting/calling, etc., trying to feed myself and shower, I was miserable with a newborn. And then I felt guilty about it.<br /> Don't beat yourself up. Only you can make the right decisions for your baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568453 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:30:30 +0000 immabeetoo 568453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Have you tried side laying nursing?? Might free up your hands at least! I haven't had any issues but can commiserate with feeling pressure of being the only one to feed etc. pumping was overwhelming to try and start but I felt a lot freer once I knew I could tell DH to bottle feed if I wanted to. Now at two months LO latches himself and I cannot imagine dealing with bottles and powder all day. Hang in there! Bu ultimately you have to do what feels best for you and yours :) no guilt! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568439 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:24:45 +0000 Goldilocks1107 568439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I pumped exclusively and only made it to four weeks. Which I thought was great because I hadn't planned on BF at all.</p> <p>Since the right side is the painful one, maybe you could try feeding him from the left side only and pumping the right side if pumping doesn't hurt. </p> <p>That would also give you a chance to build up a small "sanity supply" so your SO could take a few feedings and you could get some rest. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568437 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:23:11 +0000 Beebug 568437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I want to quit bf'ing every week. LO is just about 4 months and here I am still bf'ing. I've had a couple "issues" but nothing we haven't overcome, I am just sort of indifferent to continuing to bf, and don't even feel overly selfish for feeling that way.</p> <p>You're doing the best you can, some of the best advice I got from ladies on here is quit when you aren't hating it, quit on a high so to speak, then you will really know it was time, and not look back (as much) and wonder if you made the right decision/didn't give up.</p> <p>You are definitely not a failure, all babies are different, all Mom's are different and that makes up so many different outcomes, all with happy, healthy Moms &amp; babies, and different ways to feed the LOs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568430 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:21:28 +0000 mamimami 568430@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Take it one day at a time. I couldn't believe at first that some people could fall asleep while nursing! And I didn't have pain -- it just seemed a little uncomfortable at first. It gets SO much better, I'd say after the first month. If you can avoid putting anything on your nips (definitely no soap and preferably no butter, etc. except milk) I think that might help. Also make sure your positioning is impeccable :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-give-up-on-breastfeeding-for-non-medical-reasons#post-568428 Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:21:03 +0000 plantains 568428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: I cried every time she latched for a while, and I even resorted to taking some Advil here and there because I felt the breastfeeding pain was worse tahn the c-section incision:)</p> <p>How much Lansinoh are you using? Copious amounts is the only thing that helped me. And I do mean copiuos. That and eventually as LO got older and her mouth grew bigger it got less painful. </p>