https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 30 Apr 2026 09:01:02 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564542 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 14:48:26 +0000 magnoliamama42 2564542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: I'm with you - if we waited until all of my "ideal" goals were met before TTC our second child, we'd be 50 before we got there.</p> <p>At this point, I'd like for us to be able to put a sufficient amount of $ in savings each month that would cover daycare for a second child and any additional insurance expenses. This way, I'd know we were at a good point budget-wise to move forward.</p> <p>We are definitely NOT there yet! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564212 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 08:42:18 +0000 periwinklebee 2564212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Thanks! I am a project management type too - spend a lot of my day working in project management software. I probably need a vacation! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564166 Thu, 09 Jun 2016 06:29:35 +0000 looch 2564166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interestingly, no (and I am a project manager by trade). Everything in my life is typically done on a spreadsheet so I can track tasks, lol.</p> <p>I felt like there was still going to be life after having a child, and some things would be more interesting to experience with a future child, but if there was no child, it would be fine too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564141 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 23:10:03 +0000 periwinklebee 2564141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone for sharing - great perspectives! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564096 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 20:56:26 +0000 Eko 2564096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The way I looked at it was that you could always save more money, achieve more in your career, etc. but I really didn't know how different our life was going to be so we really just focused on doing stuff together and enjoying the time. In retrospect it took us 2 years of ttc to get pregnant so I am really glad we did not wait. I had DS at 28 and am really glad I did not wait any longer. Not that it can't be done, etc. but it means a lot to me to not be in my late 30s starting a family just so I could save more. It is completely a personal choice and you will never fully be ready. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564061 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 19:18:46 +0000 ModernDayJibarita 2564061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got married young (22) but knew we wanted kids soonish. </p> <p>Before TTC we:<br /> Bought and furnished a house<br /> Got promoted<br /> Visited 12 countries &amp; 11 states.<br /> Saved $$$<br /> Ran a 10k and half marathon</p> <p>There will always be more countries I would like to visit, more promotions I want and more money to be saved but that is all possible with kids. We discussed and committed to a few MUST DOs before kids and started TTC after our 3rd anniversary. Had our little boy 3 weeks ago :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564034 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 18:27:28 +0000 Alba4 2564034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, we wanted to move out of our rental and to buy a home. We got pregnant a few months after moving in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564033 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 18:27:00 +0000 petitenoisette 2564033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We wanted to buy a house (we had moved in with my parents to finish saving up to do so, so obviously even more essential!) and then I had a school trip that I was going on so we waited until after that. In retrospect we should have waited longer to get more work done on our house that we have been renovating ourselves - I didn't realize how much being pregnant would make me pretty useless at times when it came to working on the house. But obviously I wouldn't really change a thing because then I wouldn't have my amazing daughter! </p> <p>For baby 2, just waiting on preferred age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564025 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 18:19:08 +0000 jape14 2564025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We started TTC about 4 months after I finished my PhD program and after we took a celebratory post-graduation trip to Europe. Gearing up to TTC #2 and just looking for a 2.5-3 year age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564014 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 17:49:42 +0000 periwinklebee 2564014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everyone! </p> <p>@raspberries: "I prepared for TTC like I was facing armageddon" - love it, that might be the best line ever! That's super encouraging to hear. </p> <p>@mdf106: Thanks for sharing. I remember reading something similar in an article, maybe in the Atlantic, about the career advantages of having kids earlier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2564004 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 17:14:12 +0000 mdf106 2564004@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did have some career goals before TTC for my first, mostly because of a career change. I have to say, there are some advantages, career-wise, to having children earlier in your career, when you have less responsibility. My second maternity leave was much harder than my first. I wish I had started earlier, because I would prefer larger age gaps than seem reasonable given my age. Also, I enjoy parenting much more than I expected. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563982 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 16:19:17 +0000 raspberries 2563982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a whole bucket list and accomplished everything on it - but in retrospect, I don't think it was really necessary. I prepared for TTC like I was facing armageddon (i.e. nothing in my world would be the same) but things haven't changed thaaat much since having my little man. We still go out to eat, and go on vacation, and go on dates - everything's a little bit different, but he didn't exactly implode my world (in a good way, haha!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563980 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 16:17:24 +0000 MrsBrewer 2563980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not much really. I really would love to lose 15ish lbs before getting pregnant again. But if that doesn't happen, I'm fine with that too. Of course I would love to save more money and all that, but I want a family more. So I'm kind of going with go with the flow! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563973 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 15:57:45 +0000 youboots 2563973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Quite a few. The only one I missed out on was a vacation in France with DH. We bought a 1910 home that needed lots of renovations and that was our financial priority. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563844 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:15:32 +0000 catlady 2563844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We definitely had major goals the first time. When we got married, we were still grad students, didn't have full time jobs lined up, and were renting. Before TTC, we finished our PhD programs, got jobs (and I specifically wanted to be in mine for a full year before getting pregnant), and bought a house. We also took one last awesome vacation as a couple. It took about 3 years after getting married before we checked everything off and started TTC.</p> <p>Before TTC #2, we really just wanted to wait for a minimum age gap. We waited until LO was almost 2 and a bit more independent before TTC again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563838 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:06:00 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2563838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nothing huge. I wanted to have a certain amount of money saved before ttc our second child because our expenses are so much higher than they were when we had our first. I don't remember anything from before ttc our first, except to be married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563834 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:04:02 +0000 periwinklebee 2563834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ineebee: This is super awesome, I really try to do this too. I think you have the ideal attitude. I need to remind myself - be grateful, not stressed... that may be a new mantra :silly: </p> <p>@nana87: thank you for sharing. That's really impressive to balance kids with a PhD program. And yes, definitely never a perfect time... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563826 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:53:16 +0000 ineebee 2563826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm pretty low-key, and the only goal I had was to appreciate the things I knew would be different once we had a baby. So every time we got to sleep in, go out spontaneously, lounge in the afternoon, etc., I told my husband how much I was appreciating this moment. That way when I looked back, I could say that I didn't take it for granted. I'm so happy I did that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563823 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:51:07 +0000 nana87 2563823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We waited an extra year after we were emotionally on board for ttc for lo until I was past a specific phase of my doctoral program. For me it logistically made sense, but it was also a short-term goal. I could have waited longer--I didn't have time to conduct some of the research I need to conduct, and it's much more difficult to travel and do it now--but there's never going to be a perfectly good time, you know? I waited an extra month after a chemical pregnancy too to try for #2 because of the academic calendar as well, but that was only a single month to wait (and emotionally I think I needed that time to heal) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-goals-before-ttc#post-2563816 Wed, 08 Jun 2016 12:38:01 +0000 periwinklebee 2563816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Did/do you have any goals before adding another member to your family - professional, personal, financial, etc? </p> <p>And are there things you would have really liked to achieved/experienced but ultimately decided weren't essential? Any regrets about things you wished you would have prioritized? </p> <p>My ideal list was sufficiently long that I think by the time I would have checked everything off, I might have been post-menopausal. It provokes some anxiety that I'll regret not doing certain things later (I think because my mom had some regrets along these lines) or that I'm somehow being irresponsible if all the professional/self-improvement things I'd like to work on aren't done, which is a bit ridiculous since we're in our 30s with a great relationship and reasonably stable careers, but anyways... I do really, really want kids. Anyone else ever feel like this? </p>