Hellobee Boards Topic: Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 11:16:41 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187665 Sat, 23 May 2015 07:42:26 +0000 Mrs. Oatmeal 2187665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No one expected to be in the room, but everyone waited at the hospital most of the night. This time, both my sister and SIL really want to be in the room, but we can only have one extra person, and I'd rather not choose. buttermilk on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187664 Sat, 23 May 2015 07:42:25 +0000 buttermilk 2187664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ None of our parents are insisting on being in the room thank God! My mom is a 10 hour drive away so she will leave as soon as labor starts and all of our families are welcome to stop the hospital when the timing is right, and I would love things to work out just like @Charm54: But certainly nobody else in be delivery room, and I want them to meet her right away after! :) Charm54 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187646 Sat, 23 May 2015 06:23:40 +0000 Charm54 2187646@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No one wanted to be in the room for delivery. They respected that it was a moment Dh and I wanted to share together. I had a really long labour and appreciated my family coming to visit me throughout the day. Dh called everyone back when I started to push, and they all (my parents, my 3 sisters, my BIL, my SIl and my MIL/FIL) waited in the waiting room. The nurses said it was one of the most enthusiastic crowds they'd had in a while, haha. I could hear the cheers when DH went out with the pink onesie to tell them it was a girl. I wanted them to meet her right away, so probably 20 mins after birth once everything was all cleaned up they came in to meet her . It was one of the best moments of my life! simplyfelicity on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187623 Sat, 23 May 2015 00:43:04 +0000 simplyfelicity 2187623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's just going to be DH and my sister (I asked her to be there because DH is super squeamish and she is a great support. ) I told my parents that we would let them know when I went into labor and that we would tell them when to leave for the hospital. I don't like the idea of people waiting and chomping at the bit to come in. I would like to have some time with just the baby, DH and I. LAZB on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187608 Fri, 22 May 2015 22:43:52 +0000 LAZB 2187608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ With DS, my mom wanted to be there, and I agreed, but she ended up having a hysterectomy the morning I went into labor (he surprised us a month early), so she obviously couldn't be there. With DD, my mom asked again, but since my first birth was so great with just me and DH, I told her no. bisous on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187604 Fri, 22 May 2015 22:30:44 +0000 bisous 2187604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ This is such and interesting thread. My mom wanted and expected to be in the room. My sister wanted but is thoughtful enough not to ask. In the end, I unexpectedly delivered 10 days early and my mom and I had gotten in a huge argument just days before...so my sis and DH were in the room. (Oh and I recommend avoiding conflict in the weeks leading up to delivery because that fight with my mom was awful and stressful!!!) There was a gaggle of people in the waiting room beginning at 7am and I did not deliver til 3. I wasn't aware til DD was born but I was not happy. mrsjyw on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187480 Fri, 22 May 2015 19:11:52 +0000 mrsjyw 2187480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I wanted my mom there (along w Dh of course), no one else vocalized their want to be there, and I would've declined anyway! YouGotMe on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187479 Fri, 22 May 2015 19:11:03 +0000 YouGotMe 2187479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Foodnerd81: DH's plan for next time is to be out of town for work, as in he would like to leave for months and come back to find I've had a child ShootingStar on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187471 Fri, 22 May 2015 18:58:35 +0000 ShootingStar 2187471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, no one expected to be in the room. I didn't even want people waiting at the hospital, since I was induced and had no idea how long it would take. I wouldn't have dealt very well with other people there. As it was the induction was really tough on me. We kept losing DS's heartbeat and I didn't want an internal monitor, so I spent about an hour having pitocin contractions and not being allowed to move a muscle. It was really difficult to go through a lot of pain and have people around me constantly. The nurse just would not leave us alone; she was in our room constantly checking the monitor. After I got the epidural (which was really painful and scary on top of everything else) I just wanted to kick everyone out of the room (including DH) for 5 minutes so I could cry. Mrs. Sunshine on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth/page/2#post-2187455 Fri, 22 May 2015 18:29:00 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2187455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mom was there and I know she wanted to be but would have NEVER asked that of me. My best friend wanted to be there as well but didn't really ask not did she push about it but she got to be in the room with DD2. My mom and DH were there both times but DH probably would have liked to not be there lol Foodnerd81 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187424 Fri, 22 May 2015 17:49:34 +0000 Foodnerd81 2187424@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @YouGotMe: ha DH has offered to stay with our toddler when I have this next one. He said he'll call me an uber and bring LO when I'm done. :) Tanjowen on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187422 Fri, 22 May 2015 17:45:44 +0000 Tanjowen 2187422@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nobody wanted to be in the room but it's a thing with my family to hang out in the waiting room. Even not delivering until almost 2 am deterred my parents and my sister from sething up camp. Thankfully they just quickly came in, said hi to baby, took a group photo, then left. MrsStar on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187391 Fri, 22 May 2015 17:13:51 +0000 MrsStar 2187391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had my mum and dh with me at LO's birth. My mum didn't expect it and waited for me to ask. While I was pregnant my mil mentioned to dh a few times that she would love to be in the room but never asked me directly. I would have shut that down hard, dh let her down nicely. Fil/Mil/Sil were annoying with their constant text messaging to dh for updates while I was being induced so we won't be telling them anything until baby is here for this next lo YouGotMe on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187339 Fri, 22 May 2015 15:56:21 +0000 YouGotMe 2187339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Only my MIL. She had been there for the birth of all her grandchildren prior to my LO so she expected to be there. I didn't want her to but I ended up allowing it. DH didn't even want to be there. littlebug on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187335 Fri, 22 May 2015 15:50:31 +0000 littlebug 2187335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My sister offered to be there for extra support if I/we wanted it, but I didn't feel it was necessary. sapphire on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187326 Fri, 22 May 2015 15:36:14 +0000 sapphire 2187326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My DH, mom, and MIL were all present. No one but DH assumed they would be. I think MIL was surprised by the invitation but I'm so glad she was there. Mrs.KMM on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187311 Fri, 22 May 2015 15:16:52 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2187311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom wants to be there (and I want her there too!) but she would never expect to be there and would have 100% respected my wishes if I wanted it to just be DH and me. MrsB2012 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187281 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:44:32 +0000 MrsB2012 2187281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When we told the in laws I was pregnant she said, " ill get to be there for the birth, right?" I told her absolutely not. No, not even the slightest chance. She was super hurt by it and asked if my mom was going to be there. I told her no, that no one will be in the room or even at the hospital while I give birth. She brought it up constantly after with dh and told him that I would have to come up with a compromise. We eventually told her if she didn't drop it that we wouldn't tell her when I was in labour. That did the trick. Luckily, for both deliveries she was out of town. I have extremely strong feelings that dh and I will only be the ones present during labour and delivery. I don't want people waiting at the hospital because I'm not going to be rushed to get ready and have someone else take my baby. That's time for the mom and dad and new baby to bond. Woolly Mammoth on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187262 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:31:56 +0000 Woolly Mammoth 2187262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I thought my mom might want to be there, but she wasn't interested when I brought it up. She and my dad did visit right at the beginning of my induction, but then they went home to sleep. My MIL wasn't interested either, but visited after the baby was born. birdofafeather on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187255 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:29:01 +0000 birdofafeather 2187255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ If I remember correctly, I did have a conversation with my mom about it just being me, DH, my doula and birth team, but I don't think it was a big deal and I'm not sure if she asked/wanted to or I just cut it off at the pass. She was wth me the week before I gave birth while DH was out of town so had I gone into labor while she was there, she would have been present at the birth! Jess1483 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187239 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:17:56 +0000 Jess1483 2187239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My ILs are good about giving space. They won't come until baby is a few weeks old. My mom just wanted to do whatever I wanted. I did 13 hours of natural labor (and only wanted dh around), but once I got the epidural, my parents hung out. It was nice to have the distraction. They left for cervical checks and when I started pushing, and we texted them when we were ready to see them after. This time they'll have LO1, so they're unlikely to be there at all until LO is born, and maybe even awhile after that, depending on time. GoGoSnoGirl on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187225 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:11:28 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2187225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Just yesterday my MIL said she wants to be at the hospital when baby girl is "close". I am not taking this as in the room, necessarily, but I was still a little put off... They live just minutes from the hospital. By the time I feel like sharing our brand new family, they'll have plenty of time to get there & see baby girl still fresh & new. MY mom, however, is a different story. She's flying in from out of state & I think I might appreciate her being near/in the room. Torchwood on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187213 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:07:19 +0000 Torchwood 2187213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Foodnerd81: This situation is one of the many reasons why I wish we hadn't moved back home! It wouldn't be an issue if we still lived 1100 miles away like we did the first 5 years of our marriage. Foodnerd81 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187208 Fri, 22 May 2015 14:04:55 +0000 Foodnerd81 2187208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Torchwood: I think my MIL would be happy to be there if I wanted her there but would never think to want to be there for herself. (Moot point since she lives cross country, btw). My mom I think would actually be really uncomfortable! She's not great in those situations. 2littlepumpkins on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187169 Fri, 22 May 2015 13:37:46 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2187169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ A couple and one wasn't even a close family member or friend. I was like no, no, no, but I think everyone knew it was because I was way too freaked out about labor and delivery to even think about other people being there. Torchwood on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187147 Fri, 22 May 2015 13:19:50 +0000 Torchwood 2187147@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom, obviously! My MIL would too, but hasn't even asked because she knows better. I'm willing to bet SIL (DH's twin) would love to be there, but again, she knows better. My stepmom would probably be happy to come if I wanted her, but wouldn't want to for herself. And SMIL would probably just die on the spot if I even brought it up. She has no kids, and doesn't even like babies/kids much at all. wonderstruck on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187143 Fri, 22 May 2015 13:16:50 +0000 wonderstruck 2187143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did. I just said, "No, I'm not comfortable with that." and occasionally had to follow up with reminders that I really wasn't changing my mind, it was my decision, and finally said that if people kept bugging me about it they probably wouldn't get a call when I went into labor because I didn't want people trying to get me to change my mind about visitors while I'm in labor! GrapeCrush on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187112 Fri, 22 May 2015 12:46:52 +0000 GrapeCrush 2187112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom said that if I wanted her there, she would be there, but she didn't expect to be there. I was thisclose to having DH call her, but I ended up having a csection so she wouldn't have been there anyways. I think the ILs wanted to be there...but it wasn't happening. I didn't even want them at the hospital in the waiting room, but that didn't happen. They were there for about 8hrs. This included SIL and her husband, which is funny because when it was time for her to give birth she didn't even want to tell her ILs she was in labor because she didn't want them there... jhd on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187104 Fri, 22 May 2015 12:36:51 +0000 jhd 2187104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't know what they were expecting but we let my mom & MIL know from the beginning that we would like them to be there if they wanted to. MIL & FIL live a few hours away so FIL was actually in the waiting room. Honestly I was so focused on labor I didn't think about any of them. I'm glad the moms were there though because my labor was long and then LO had some major complications so we really needed their support. creativemomma15 on "Did you have people who wanted to be present at the birth?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-have-people-who-wanted-to-be-present-at-the-birth#post-2187100 Fri, 22 May 2015 12:32:48 +0000 creativemomma15 2187100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I am sure if I had asked, my mom would have been in there in a heartbeat! I'm not sure if MIL would have wanted to.... MIL is very aware of boundaries and is never pushy with anything... at first it was almost to the point where she never initiated anything because she didn't want to "intrude" on our time & lives. If I had asked I bet MIL would have been hesitant and want to be sure that I meant it. All that said, it was just DH & I. I have thought about with future kids if we would consider inviting my mom in, but I really loved it being just DH and I and having that time in the beginning just us. But I know how special it would be for my mom to be there.