https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 13 May 2026 23:29:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2129010 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 08:04:44 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2129010@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's so interesting to hear the different perspectives! If my mom or MIL wanted to be there, they kept it to themselves. I would not have wanted an audience. </p> <p>I had a c-section so it didn't really matter. Although the nurses asked me if I wanted the grandparents to be in the recovery room waiting for me right after surgery - uh, no thanks! Give me like 10 minutes to say hello to this baby and make sure my organs are all where they should be before I have to deal with my in-laws. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128987 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 07:43:44 +0000 Alivoo01 2128987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't want anyone in the room other than DH and the photographer. Neither one asked, but I'm sure they'd both be there if I did ask them to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128985 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 07:40:57 +0000 Chillybear 2128985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a really long and boring labor.... My water broke at 5am and I was already at 4cm but i wasnt having contractions. I was on pitocin and my mom came up to the hospital around 2pm. She came up by train from the city so my dad was coming later to drive her home.</p> <p>I was really happy to have her there. Hubs really didnt know what to do with me, I was uncomfortable but not in pain and he's not chatty. He was relieved once she arrived because he was able to go grab some lunch and ran down to our ob office to drop off some paperwork. My mom is pretty entertaining and can always find things to talk about so it made the time go much faster. Things started to pick up around 6 and they sent my mom to the waiting room while they did the epidural. By the time i was getting ready to push a few hours later my brother and dad arrived so she went out to the waiting room with them while I pushed and delivered with hubs. My family came in the delivery room about an hour after delivery and after LO was bathed and swaddled. It was already after 1am at this point and they stayed until it was time for us to be moved to our room. </p> <p>I have a really good relationship with my mom and I know that if there was an emergency involving me or the baby she would have wanted to be right there.</p> <p>My inlaws werent able to see the baby until more than a week after she was born. My niece gave my SIL, BIL, and MIL Hand Foot and Mouth disease. Pediatrician said they couldnt visit until they were clear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128962 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 07:01:29 +0000 ValentineMommy 2128962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wanted my mom in there, but since I had a csec, only DH was allowed in the room. I'm not sure she WANTED to be in there, but she was definitely willing.</p> <p>As for MIL, she's lucky she was invited to the hospital to see the baby at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128939 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 06:27:30 +0000 avivoca 2128939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom assumed she would be there, but we shut that down quickly. Her presence in stressful situations stresses me out and I did not need her there. We didn't tell anyone when we were in labor or left for the hospital, and I will do it the same way next time too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128934 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 05:26:47 +0000 Andrea 2128934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128933 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 05:16:31 +0000 Adira 2128933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL mentioned being with me LONG before I even got pregnant, but when I was actually pregnant, she never brought it up, thankfully!</p> <p>And my mom was WILLING to be there and probably would've liked to be there, but only if I wanted her to. She didn't have her mom with her, so she assumed I wouldn't want her with me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128922 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 03:54:34 +0000 maddyz 2128922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a home birth and my mom was there, but we sent her away for most of my laboring. I was glad to have that time with just my DH and later also the dula. I needed that privacy to get labor going. She came back for pushing and I hardly knew she was there.</p> <p>My mom stayed for almost 3 weeks after doing all the cooking and cleaning. She stayed with friends near by (not in oue 1 bedroom with us) and didn't even ask to hold the baby. I gave him to her to told at 3 days old. It was amazing. She was so helpful in just the right way with out imposing at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128900 Wed, 01 Apr 2015 00:57:04 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2128900@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom lives a continent away and my hospital didn't allow visitors, thank goodness. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128819 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 20:58:50 +0000 sapphire 2128819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I invited them both and I am so glad they were there! They were both so helpful during my labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128748 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:50:49 +0000 MrsF 2128748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sure my MIL would have been thrilled to be in the delivery room either time. She is seriously unstable though so, no way. We told her not to even come to the hospital and she came against our wishes. </p> <p>My mom wanted to be supportive however she could. We planned for her to come when I was in early labor and then leave. I ended up progressing really quickly and we never had her leave. There were so many medical people in the room that she just sort of kept quiet in the background. She was thrilled. When DS was born my mom was at home watching DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128745 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:46:24 +0000 Jess1483 2128745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL would never ask, and would likely be uncomfortable if I asked her to. My mom would have been perfectly willing if that's what I wanted, but totally understood me not wanting her there (although I had to give it considerable thought before I decided). She was in and out of the room during labor (once I had my epidural), but always left for checks, and then left when it was time to push. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128743 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:44:04 +0000 Peasinapod 2128743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom got sick early on in my pregnancy and still isn't back to herself. Otherwise I would have liked her support. For no.2 I'm hoping my sister might be there. My husband and I are pushovers so extra support might be nice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128729 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:33:06 +0000 Astro Bee 2128729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL hinted, and my mom came out and asked. Neither of them are very calm people and would just stress me out. Plus my mom's medical problems would prevent her from helping with the physical coping measures of labour, i.e., counter pressure, massage, etc. </p> <p>Neither of them will be there because I told them that hospital policy limits the number of people, and that it would be just DH in there with me. I also stressed the importance of skin-to-skin and bonding time, and said it would probably be 2 hrs or more before they get to see us, but we'd let them and my dad and FIL know. I don't really care who's at the hospital waiting but told them that they'd probably be more comfortable at our house (it's only 15 mins away). Totally up to them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room/page/2#post-2128723 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:26:22 +0000 BandDmommy 2128723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@blackbird: this! Hell no! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128721 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 19:25:12 +0000 ElbieKay 2128721@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: I didn't want anyone waiting because I wanted to take my time with skin-on-skin and have the option to rest. I knew that if they were waiting I would feel time pressure. I'm glad it worked out the way it did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128673 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:19:44 +0000 Miss Ariel 2128673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom died 3 years ago, so that was never an option. In theory I would have loved my mom to be there, but then again if I actually had the chance, who knows. I'm pretty sure my mom would have wanted to be there though. I know her mom was there when both my brother and I were born. Also, I always heard great things about my moms labors growing up, with midwives, med-free, and it was so much a factor in what I wanted for myself.</p> <p>As for my mil, she never expressed interest, but I didn't really want her there either, especially since she didn't understand why I wouldn't want an epidural. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128655 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:08:28 +0000 BeachMama 2128655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For my first, they both wanted to, although there's no way in hell I'd allow my MIL in. She asked if she could stand out in the hallway outside my room. she's crazy. In the end, my mom and sister were there for the pushing phase with LO1, and my sister was there for LO2. My mom would have liked to be there but she had to be home with DD. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128653 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:06:11 +0000 Mrs.Pinecone316 2128653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My SIL let me mom, my grandma, and both her mom and step mom in the room. So I think my mom thought it was common to have the parents in the room because she asked if I wanted her in there but I told her I just want my DH. I love her tons but it would just stress me out more having other people in there. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my MIL in there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128641 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:56:50 +0000 Smurfette 2128641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My SMIL wouldn't ask, even being a doctor. My Mom never asked but I told her early on that I wanted just DH and me. I don't know if I asked her to be in the room if she would have. I think she would have said that it should be a moment for DH and I. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128640 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:56:34 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2128640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom did but is very respectful of my wishes and my need to live a separate life...but I wanted her there and honestly she was more help than DH and she will totally be there this time too. My MIL didn't want to be there and I would have never let her if she did </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128634 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:51:48 +0000 yoursilverlining 2128634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, neither my mom or MIL thought/thinks its appropriate for them to be in the laboring room. They respect my privacy and think birth is a private family moment - with "family" being me and DH. </p> <p>My parents did camp out at the hospital, and MIL would have had she lived here when LO was born. I was totally fine with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128626 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:42:44 +0000 FannyMae 2128626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>MIL didn't ask and my mum definitely didn't. She was already anxious about knowing that I was going to be in pain, so it was just me and hubby. She was with me post miscarriage complications and I was in agony, and I felt sorry for her seeing her kid in pain :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128617 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:32:24 +0000 nana87 2128617@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I asked my mom to be there, and she wanted to be but wouldn't have brought it up unless I did. I didn't ask my mil and didn't want her there </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128613 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:29:08 +0000 Corduroy 2128613@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Technically my parents were in the delivery room but just for 5 minutes or so while I labored... not during delivery. I planned not to allow them in but I had been in labor for days and I knew they were worried about me and wanted to see how I looked for themselves. I don't know if my mom wanted to stay but I certainly didn't want her in there. I couldn't even handle knowing they were in the waiting room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128606 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:26:31 +0000 travellingbee 2128606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was in there while I labored but not when pushing. She didn't ask and I didn't offer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128601 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:24:22 +0000 PurplePeony 2128601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea, they both live so far away that it wasn't a possibility so it never even came up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128597 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:20:39 +0000 Ginabean3 2128597@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither asked but I really wanted my mom to be there and so she was! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128587 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:09:51 +0000 jhd 2128587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>They didn't ask, but I wanted them both there so I asked them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-mom-or-mil-want-to-be-in-the-delivery-room#post-2128586 Tue, 31 Mar 2015 17:09:49 +0000 Torchwood 2128586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ElbieKay: I'm actually really hoping baby gets here in the middle of the night so they can't take it personally that I want them to wait like you did!</p> <p>@blackbird: Definitely agree!</p> <p>My mother really wants to be there, and we haven't really had that talk yet. I'm willing to consider having her come early on and see how it goes, but I'm 99.99999% sure I don't want her there in general. I'll have a doula to give DH breaks so I won't be left alone though. If I wasn't able to afford that, I would probably want her there because I REALLY don't want to be alone at all (traumatic previous experience). MIL I know would love to be there, but DH preemptively let her know that wasn't an option. His sister kicked her out during her labor, so I think that set a good precedent, in addition to the fact that she's just not MY mom. Plus she's a chain smoker, pill addict, alcoholic, etc, so not really the person I want around during labor.</p> <p>I'm also with @ElbieKay in that I think everyone plans to camp out in the hospital, and I am NOT okay with that. My mom can if she just really wants to, but I've told her once and will as many times as I need to that no one is coming in until at least after the first couple hours of skin to skin and working on BFing. No one else is welcome even then. We'll let people know when we're ready for visitors.</p> <p>I think the problem with both of our families is that no one has done the med-free labor thing before, or focused on BFing and skin to skin and all that. They're picturing me laying in bed with an epidural, not feeling anything, chatting happily. And then baby being whisked off to the nursery as soon as she's out. None of which is what we're planning, and we don't need a bunch of witnesses when I'm half naked for various reasons! </p>