https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 29 Jun 2026 18:17:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-683253 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 21:30:49 +0000 Penny Lane 683253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FarmWifeGina: AGREE! Doc can't tie you to the bed, you can deliver any way you want!!</p> <p>I had labial grazes that had a few stitches each, and an inner tear that the midwives spent a long time debating whether to stitch it up or not. They ended up giving me a few stitches for the inner tear too because they said it kept "dripping" (TMI!) (their words, lol). I had a local anaesthesia for the stitches.</p> <p>Dude was 8 lbs 8 oz, I pushed (only when I wanted to) for 45 minutes on my back (only because I didn't want to move!!) and as directed by my midwife I had my legs in a sort of cross legged position because they said it helps open the pelvis as much as you can when you're on your back. I think my midwife did some sort of perineal support/massage/something while dude was crowning.</p> <p>Recovery was fine! Peeing was only mentally scary (IYKWIM) and the only pain meds I took were a couple of panadol and nurofen </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-683134 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 20:28:21 +0000 Tidybee 683134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My doc also did a lot of perineal massage while I was pushing and she was crowning, so I think that helped a lot! I had a few minor scrapes that she put an internal stitch that she considered not putting in but did just to be safe. I had a really easy recovery...not to mention had to walk down 13 stories the next day when our hospital was evacuated due to Hurricane Sandy. I only used an ice pack once post partum and didn't take a single motrin or tylenol for pain down there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-683122 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 20:23:57 +0000 Bao 683122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Third degree for me. No idea how many stitches I never asked. Her head came out turned though so that's why. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-683050 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 19:52:14 +0000 sera_87 683050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had 2nd degree but it took a long time to stitch up. I also pushed LO out in 18 minutes...definitely could have made it easier on myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682877 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:30:43 +0000 nikol 682877@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no tears here! i didn't do any perineal massage during pregnancy, but after my water broke, a nurse did end up doing some massage and i really think it helped. ds was born about 30 minutes after my water broke with about ten minutes of pushing. long labor, easy delivery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682468 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:20:24 +0000 FarmWifeGina 682468@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: Oh, but to clarify about perineal massage, I'm skeptical of the practice massage done during the third tri, not the massage and perineal support many care providers give during pushing. I had massage done with oil with my first baby and none with the second (because I was only pushing for barely a minute) and didn't tear either time, but that probably has more to do with my skin type than anything. Prenatal perineal massage isn't a bad thing, I'm just not convinced that it works. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682457 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:17:45 +0000 teamjse 682457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO was small, 6 pounds 1 oz, 3 weeks early. I didn't tear, I feel so lucky about it because I have sensitive skin and I'm allergic to adhesive. Recovery would have been tough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682450 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:16:26 +0000 FarmWifeGina 682450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: They can't not "let" you do anything. You're the one giving birth, they work for you. Not "allowing" any position besides lithotomy is pure laziness, not wanting to so something different (look how easy the lithotomy position makes delivery for the delivering doctor. S/he just sits there and catches, much to the detriment of mom and baby), and is NOT evidence-based care. Grrrrrrrrr. Can you tell these kinds of rules piss me off just a little? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682445 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:13:54 +0000 Dandelion 682445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to be cut, cause we had trouble getting the shoulders out. I would elaborate, but I will spare details. On top of that, I tore, so I'm the one who had the 4th degree.</p> <p>I'm 3 weeks postpartum, though, and it's healing very nicely. Just my tailbone still hurts, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682421 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:05:12 +0000 rachiecakes 682421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: I had a perineal massage with oil during labor and was still cut because of DS's position. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682391 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:56:07 +0000 tororojo 682391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 9lb, 5oz baby and a 2nd degree labial tear...no perineal massage and I was stuck in bed (on my side!) for like 36 hrs of being induced. (except for pee breaks) I asked my doc about perineal massage early on and he doesn't think it's effective, so I didn't bother with it. But he did apply perineal pressure while I was pushing the baby out, which helps prevent perineal tears. Honestly, the recovery pain from tearing was nothing compared to soreness from the catheter (which is ALMOST gone now, 4 weeks later) and butt crack pain from pushing for so long. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682285 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 14:13:15 +0000 SugarplumsMom 682285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did, although I have no idea how bad because my midwife refused to tell me. She said it was one continuous stitch. I totally felt it happening and was sure I tore even before they realized I did. With that said, at that moment, I didn't care! I just wated LO out (and I even listed tearing as one of my fears)! I'm guessing it was either a second or third degree tear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682232 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:47:44 +0000 cascademom 682232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: It's not as scary as it sounds. It was just kind of dull pain around the line of stitches. My LO was 7 lbs 6oz at birth. Despite the tearing, I consider myself so lucky to be able to have the birth that I had. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682228 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:47:20 +0000 lovehoneybee 682228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an episiotomy and then a 2nd degree tear. I pushed for 2 hours. The delivering OB did a lot of massaging and rubbed in a ton of oil but DS was sunny side up and he was trying to turn him. His head was stuck and both our heart rates and my blood pressure were getting erratic so he made the cut to get him out fast, but even with the cut I tore. My babe was 8lb 12oz. </p> <p>I was able to poop that night but it stung to pee whenever I forgot to use the peri bottle for about 3 weeks. My healing took longer...it was still healing at my 6wk appt, and at another Dr's appt at 8wks. By the time I got my Mirena at 12w it was completely healed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682226 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:46:51 +0000 hellobeeboston 682226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a second degree perineal tear -- but it wasn't that bad. I healed pretty fast --- I think I was mostly just swollen &amp; sore from pushing for SO LONG (5 hrs).... I honestly think pushing for so long helped me not tear as bad... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682224 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:45:17 +0000 looch 682224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: I took the class offered by my hospital and the midwife explained what to do.</p> <p>Basically, the best time to do the massage is after a warm shower or bath. Use a nuetral oil, like cosmetic grade sunflower seed oil and insert your thumb. Go from side to side, gradually increasing pressure and time. I think I could only stand a few seconds when I started, but worked my way up to a few minutes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682219 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:43:42 +0000 BelugaBean 682219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just had a few stitches but didn't tear too much. It was sore for a few weeks but healed fairly quickly. My baby was 8 lb 5 oz so she wasn't small but DH said that the doctor worked at stretching me out while I was pushing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-682204 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:39:47 +0000 thismustbetheplace 682204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Where/how did you learn to do it? or did you just kind of massage around down there?</p> <p>i'm worried because the hospital I will be using doesn't let you push in any other position besides lithotomy (laying down). :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-681790 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 11:16:24 +0000 Alivoo01 681790@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cascademom: *shudders* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-681673 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:35:17 +0000 cascademom 681673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had second degree tears. It hurt to pee and sit for the first couple of weeks. I think that I fully recovered from it around 5-6 months pp because for awhile there I could feel the line of tear sitting or during sex. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-681667 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:33:05 +0000 looch 681667@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did perineal massage religiously from 34 weeks on and I didn't tear down, just up a very tiny bit. The midwives wouldn't have sewn me up, but since the OB was on call and available, I had a few stitches just to keep me closed so I could pee without worrying about ruptures. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-681624 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:11:09 +0000 FarmWifeGina 681624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@thismustbetheplace: I forgot to say that I'm a bit of a skeptic of prenatal perineal massage just because of some things I've read. And I never did it and still didn't tear. But that's just me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1/page/2#post-681606 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:02:37 +0000 thismustbetheplace 681606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For those who tore: did any of you try third trimester perineal massage or hot compresses during pushing? I'm planning on doing anything I can to avoid tearing but that just sounds so awkward! (especially for DH, who I assume would be the massager).. I'm wondering if it's worth it ;)<br /> @FarmWifeGina: Great tips! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-681528 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 09:36:45 +0000 FarmWifeGina 681528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alivoo01: Honestly, it can depend a lot on different skin types and genetics, some people just tear. However, there are several things proven to reduce and minimize tearing:<br /> -upright pushing positions (lithotomy= bad)<br /> -unmedicated birth, or having your epi turned way, way down or off for pushing<br /> -episiotomies turn into bigger tears, not the other way around<br /> -perineal massage/hot compresses while crowning<br /> -uncoached, mother-directed pushing, you listen to when your body tells you to push and if you're not numb, it will tell you. You'll know when to push hard and when it hurts too much, when to go easy, even if that means shrieking as a pressure relief valve during crowning, lol. Or maybe that's just me. Also, unless baby is in distress, there's no hurry to push him out. It's better to give your tissues a chance to stretch, ie, long crowning phases. Lol, says the woman who's pushed her babies out in record times, albeit it WAS just what my body was telling me to do. Anyways, my two cents, some things to keep in mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-681395 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 08:38:03 +0000 Alivoo01 681395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@.twist.: I'm DEATHLY afraid of the delivery process, especially the tearing and post-natal care also. Even though I squirm and cross my legs when I read posts like this, I HAVE to read up on others experiences to figure out what minimized tearing also! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-680086 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:44:12 +0000 MrsStar 680086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thankfully I didn't tear but I did get a labial graze. The doctor said they usually don't put stitches in for them but because of a bleeding disorder with a high possibility of bleeding they put 1 or 2 stitches in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-680056 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:12:06 +0000 googly-eyes 680056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@78h2o: my husband said I had a lot of stitches from my 2nd degree too... :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-679971 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 22:31:14 +0000 78h2o 679971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 2nd degree tear that was pretty painful, actually. I think maybe about 8 stitches? I was in labor for 34 hours and pushed for 1 hr. She was 8 lbs 11oz, 22" and 95th percentile head circ. OH... and how did I almost forget this, but my LO had her HAND on her head when she came out... as if her head wasn't big enough on it's own, lol! I also think maybe I should have slowed down when she was crowning, but it hurt like hell and I was worried about all her HR decels, so I just kept pushing even after the contraction had stopped because I wanted her OUT. Her first apgar was only a 4. Yikes!</p> <p>It was all totally worth it though! I'm sure you will be fine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-679921 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 22:08:41 +0000 sarac 679921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two tiny first degree tears with one stitch. Irritating as hell, but no big deal. Pushed for 2 hours, 90th percentile head too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tear-1#post-679915 Sat, 30 Mar 2013 22:05:09 +0000 jmarionsmith 679915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 2nd degree tear and even though I had an EPI I swear I felt it when it happened (though at that point I didn't even care because LO was out!) DS was 8 lbs 2 oz and was ALL head! </p>