Hellobee Boards Topic: Did you tell people about your miscarriage?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Did you tell people about your miscarriage? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 27 Apr 2026 20:48:54 +0000 Ms.SK on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-674058 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:08:44 +0000 Ms.SK 674058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We knew there might be problems at 12 weeks during our NT scan but I still told a few people. As the testing went further I ended up having to tell people at work because I was so sick. When I knew there was no hope I was sorry people knew because I didn't want to have to "explain" what was happening. Some people may know that we tested positive for downs and I miscarried the day before my DNR. But, after the procedure I felt like I needed to share with others so if it happened to anyone else, they would know they were not alone. I felt so alone at the time. 78h2o on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-674047 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:06:12 +0000 78h2o 674047@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I talked about it with close friends and family... in part because I needed the support and in part because I felt as though it's a topic that's not talked about but should be. I didn't feel like it should be this terrible shameful thing. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, and in fact, I'd carried a child and loved a child (if only for 7 weeks).. I didn't want to act like it had never happened. My husband dealt with it differently though and preferred not to discuss it with anyone. I can totally understand that perspective, People grieve differently. For me though, it was theraputic to talk about it, or at least acknowledge that it had happened. swurlygurl on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673998 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:56:15 +0000 swurlygurl 673998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I didn't. All my family/friends would want to talk about it and ask a thousand questions and ask me how I was doing every time they saw me - all stuff that would make me too sad. I generally do better bottling stuff up anyway AprilK on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673915 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:38:06 +0000 AprilK 673915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm pretty open about it when we end up talking to people about TTC - I say that it took us a year with a miscarriage in there, and am consistently surprised at how many people say "I have had one too!" It really is so common, but that doesn't make it any easier. Right after the m/c, I actually saw a therapist b.c not many people knew and none of my close local friends were even anywhere close to TTC so they really had no idea how to deal with me. And I felt like DH got kind of tired of talking about it all the time. It helped so much, I didn't go long but it was just good to go somewhere where I didn't have to worry about what the other person was thinking, about asking them about their day, about anything but just unloading. I am so glad to this day that I did that. Happygal on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673898 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:34:02 +0000 Happygal 673898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ A friend of mine had a miscarriage, and she was desperate for people to speak to about it. She felt it was some secret kind of thing, and she didn't want it to be. I witnessed more than once where she shared that she had one, and another friend I hadn't known about shared she had a miscarriage as well. So if you want to talk about it, if you think it will help you in the healing process, I say you should do it. I'm not sure how you bring it up, but you'll find a way. Your openness could be really helpful to someone else. Hugs to you, RunNerd! heffalump on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673855 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:25:25 +0000 heffalump 673855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did something similar. At first I didn't want anyone to know. Only immediate family knew I was pregnant, DH told them about the miscarriage and then I rarely spoke about it to them. I didn't want anybody to know because I didn't feel up to talking about it. A couple of months later I felt more comfortable talking about it and telling people, so I told some close friends. Now that it's been years and I have LO I'm to the point where I will tell people if it happens to come up in conversation. 2PeasinaPod on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673642 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:44:06 +0000 2PeasinaPod 673642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Only close family knew about my first one. It was really too hard for me to talk about at the time. My second was just my DH and I that knew. Now that we have LO, we talk about it freely. Alivoo01 on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673623 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:37:58 +0000 Alivoo01 673623@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We told both sets of parents together because that was when we were planning on telling them we WERE expecting, but instead, we no longer were. I also told my BFF because I tell her EVERYTHING. I went into hiding for about 2 weeks after and the 2 other people I talk to frequently guessed it, and I confirmed when I was ready. I also told a couple close friends about our loss (after I had come to terms with it months later) when they kept teasing us when we'd start having babies. Sugar.Biscuit on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673590 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:29:06 +0000 Sugar.Biscuit 673590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I've told close friends & family. Don't want the world to know but wanted them to know so they would back of a little and stop pushing us to have kids. Those 'when are you going to have kids' conversations were killing me. ShootingStar on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673557 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:20:36 +0000 ShootingStar 673557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I have told people, I really hate that it's this hush hush topic. I told friends of mine soon after it happened, and my parents knew too. A month ago my mom had friends of theirs over for dinner while I was visiting them and the woman asked if we had any family plans. I'm not big on lying or covering things up so I just straight up said we'd had an early loss a couple months before and that we were hoping to be successful again soon. She was like "well I had a loss before my first daughter too" and moved right on. I may have shocked everyone else at the table though, haha. buffalove on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673487 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:56:49 +0000 buffalove 673487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I shared with people. The first one I had to b/c we had already told a bunch of people (I m/c at 11 weeks). The second one was very early so initially we just told immediate family and a couple very close friends then after about a month I opened up to more friends. I found it very helpful in my healing process and allowed people to be sympathetic and understanding when, for example, I turned down a baby shower invite or disappeared off FB. And like you said, it's just part of my story now. I'm not at all ashamed (I never felt that emotion) and I don't think it's anything to hide. mrskc on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673484 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:56:16 +0000 mrskc 673484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ A lot know about my first one since we had announced to friends and family. Then we had to tell them all we lost the baby. That was hard. My family was supportive, but a lot of people didn't know how to respond. They acted like nothing happened and that hurt. Not a lot know about my second miscarriage b/c it happened very early. I was already miscarrying when I found out. It was before I even got my first period post D&C and it was an accident that I got pregnant. I do think it should be talked about more and people should be aware of it. I hate how taboo the subject is. Running Elley on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673464 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:51:05 +0000 Running Elley 673464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ We hadn't officially announced either time. Right after the U/S confirming my first mc I called my mom... I just needed to. We ended up telling a few close friends. We told all of our parents and siblings. Eventually I just wanted people to know. Very few people (DH, my sister and my mom) knew about my second one because it was so early. Now I talk about them freely... I think they need to be talked about. lovehoneybee on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673394 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:28:57 +0000 lovehoneybee 673394@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Some people, the ones who knew we had been pregnant. I shared more after I got pregnant again. Dandelion on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673382 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:26:37 +0000 Dandelion 673382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No...only my parents and dh's parents knew I was pregnant, so they were the only ones I mentioned it to. During the course of my pregnancy, though, I mentioned it to people. My loss was different, though. I didn't want to have to tell anyone, yet so many people were waiting to hear news of a new baby, so I had to have my parents spread the news to their siblings before I would even mention it on facebook or to anyone else. It was very hard for me to come out and say it. Still is. shopaholic on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673361 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 11:22:16 +0000 shopaholic 673361@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. I didn't want to at the time and DH still doesn't want to. It's one of the things I'm iffy about even mentioning on HB, but I don't like that it is such a hush hush thing and yet so common. I still get emotional about it, but learned for even just telling a handful of family members on my side, people don't know the right thing to say and often can make me feel worse about it. duckduckkristen on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673144 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:39:17 +0000 duckduckkristen 673144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I only told my immediate family and 2 close friends. We never told DHs family. Since DS was born though I've told more people. I guess back when it happened I just didn't want people to know we were trying and ask questions all the time. I don't bring it up or anything, but when people ask how long it took to get pregnant I'll usually tell them I miscarried and got pregnant with DS 2 months later. blackbird on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673142 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:39:10 +0000 blackbird 673142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I actually shared quite a bit. Everybody knew i was pregnant the first time because I was 12 weeks when I miscarried. I was rushed to the hospital and it was a big ordeal--DH was out of town for military training and my MIL came to take care of me. Everybody knew. The second time, only a few of my very close friends knew because I ended up miscarrying on my birthday and they were all just so sweet and supportive about it. I have the greatest IRL friends, really. I don't mind sharing with people I know well or people whom I think would benefit from the knowledge (ie they've opened up to me in some way/shape/form) but I don't just...announce it to strangers or acquaintances or at work. Freckles on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673139 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:38:50 +0000 Freckles 673139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, i told people. I only told really close friends in the beginning, and it took me a while to tell others. If having a conversation about my pregnancy (i got pregnant a few months later), i would mention how i miscarried earlier. While DH didn't want to talk about it, i felt that talking about it made the hurt go away. I had to see it as something that "just happens" as opposed to this big life event that prevents me from moving on. singingbee on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673135 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:37:49 +0000 singingbee 673135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I talked about it. Everyone knew because of how far along we were. They had to send an email out to all the parents at my school and EVERYONE knew. In some ways it was nice because I didn't have to keep saying it over and over again, but other times people wanted to talk about. The kids also wanted to talk about It some. They were really about it though. It did help in the fact that most knew why I was acting the way I did. Now that we are pregnant again, everyone that we've told so far has been overjoyed for us, which is really sweet. You will find that more have gone through this and they were really supportive and that was nice. MrsH on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673085 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:29:12 +0000 MrsH 673085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't feel like I need to hide it buy I also don't want to talk about it with everyone. We had not told very many people we were pregnant so we of course told the People who did. I told my bosses so they would know why I missed work. We still have not told dh's siblings because I don't want questions about it or our current TTC plans. Caly on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673048 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:20:49 +0000 Caly 673048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Mine was early on so absolutely nothing in comparison to what some others have gone through. I told some friends well after the fact, however, still haven't told my family/parents (happened over a year ago) since we're still in the thick of TTC. I'm very open about our struggles when it comes up since I kinda feel people don't talk about it making it more hush hush. MrsTiz on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673032 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:17:17 +0000 MrsTiz 673032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had to, unfortunatley. My MIL told her whole extended family that we were expecting and we lost it, so I made her go back and tell all of them that. Honestly that was the worst part, having to tell 20 people. lilteacherbee on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-673025 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:15:54 +0000 lilteacherbee 673025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I talk about it. We miscarried last July and for the first 2 or so months, I didn't want to mention it at all because I would turn into an emotional mess. Now, it's so much a part of who I am, that I find myself talking to people who I know have been through it before, like my boss. Now that I'm pregnant again, lots of people don't understand why I'm so nervous so I end up confiding in close friends. mlm2934 on "Did you tell people about your miscarriage?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-you-tell-people-about-your-miscarriage#post-672997 Thu, 28 Mar 2013 10:08:22 +0000 mlm2934 672997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Its been about a month know since we found out. At first I just wanted desperately to close the circle of people who knew I was pregnant, so they knew I no longer was. And I didn't want to talk about it. Now that the pain isn't so raw, I feel compelled not to hide it necessarily. I want people to know, it's like it's a part of my story now and I don't want to be ashamed and closed off hiding something that has so deeply affected me. I've randomly told 3 friends this week who didn't know about my pregnancy before hand. And I'm planning on calling a close relative or two and telling them. How did you handle sharing or not sharing this event? I don't want to talk about it all the time, but I think it's a shame that a lot of us feel like we have to hide something so impactful.