Hellobee Boards Topic: Did your family focus on looks growing up?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Did your family focus on looks growing up? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 14 Aug 2026 07:31:08 +0000 Modern Daisy on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155688 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:53:26 +0000 Modern Daisy 155688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, absolutely. I grew up in a family with 8 female cousins within a 10 year age range so it was like a fashion/weight contest every time we got together for holidays. No wonder almost all of us developed major eating disorders and/or had problems with depression! I refuse to go to my extended family's trip to the beach every summer because despite my protests, multiple pictures are taken of all of us in bikinis and the elders always comment on our weight openly. I get a ton of flack for not attending, but I totally prefer being ostrasized and talked about behind my back to the critisizm over my body. Alivoo01 on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155642 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:18:52 +0000 Alivoo01 155642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, and I dressed pretty horribly compared to the fashionable kids. My parents were mostly focused on academics for me. mediagirl on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155589 Fri, 11 May 2012 10:01:34 +0000 mediagirl 155589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope. I didn't care about fashion or looks mostly because my family wasn't big into it. My Mom wore make-up, yes but we weren't big into worrying about how we looked as long as we were clean and in clean clothes. LuLu Mom on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155546 Fri, 11 May 2012 09:48:17 +0000 LuLu Mom 155546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Growing up my parents usually let us dress ourselves unless we put together a ridiculous outfit. My older sister struggled with weight (as did my mom) and so they worked hard one summer to lose it. My younger sister & I were always very thin, and my mom would tell me to eat and gain weight. I was always very in to my appearance come jr.high/high school but that was more from my friends than my family. DillonLion on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155544 Fri, 11 May 2012 09:47:45 +0000 DillonLion 155544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Very, very little. The priorities in my family were 1. Are you happy? 2. Are you content/comfortable? 3. Are you doing what you love? emahlee on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155539 Fri, 11 May 2012 09:45:51 +0000 emahlee 155539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No, with my dad, as long as we looked clean and presentable and respectable (i.e. not wear sweat pants to church service, skirt length/neckline should be reasonable and not show too much skin). Yes, with my mum. Physical appearance wasn't high priority but she did emphasize the importance of looks, like skin care and wearing clothes that fit well etc. Sometimes it was annoying (like, constant reminders to use eyecream, for example, or "oh you have a pimple!"), but for the most part, I appreciated it. sandy on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155075 Thu, 10 May 2012 22:24:22 +0000 sandy 155075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Mrs. Bee: @mrs. wagon: It's so sad that the older Korean generation is like this! My parents didn't tell me I was fat but sometimes my dad would comment about a friend after she left and say I needed to watch what i ate or I would end up fat like my friend. I hated it so much. I threaten my dad that I will not let him spend time with LO if he ever says anything to her about her weight...even in a joking manner...he knows I am serious His Barista on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-155064 Thu, 10 May 2012 22:14:02 +0000 His Barista 155064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. Ugh. My parents were very into "respecting your appearance " and I wan embarrassed to say I heard them talk crap about people while we were out. * face palm* mrs. wagon on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154968 Thu, 10 May 2012 21:16:44 +0000 mrs. wagon 154968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My mom is/was really into looks. We'd have EPIC fights because she'd force me to wear skirts to church and to school dances, when everyone else was wearing jeans. Once my youth pastor even pulled me aside and asked me to stop wearing skirts to church and church events because it was stumbling for boys. I was so angry because I didn't even want to wear the stupid skirts. I was also chastized for being fat. Sigh.... when I think about my size back then (probably like 5'3", 120 lbs, size 4) it hurts my heart! My mom used to slap my butt in front of all of her (and my) friends at church and ask me why I was so fat. ETA: I never developed an eating disorder. Instead, I rebelled in the same way I rebelled with schoolwork-- I let myself get fatter and slacked off in schoolwork because I knew if I got skinnier or got all As, my mom would see it as her own success, not mine. MsMini on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154859 Thu, 10 May 2012 20:23:20 +0000 MsMini 154859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It wasn't a big priority, but it was noticed, if that makes any sense. The priorities were how we were doing in school, sports, happiness, then a little touch of attention to appearance/looks sprinkled in. SleepyMonkey on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154833 Thu, 10 May 2012 20:14:15 +0000 SleepyMonkey 154833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. My mom wanted me to look put together (i.e. not wear pajamas to the grocery store), but she never emphasized that my value was based on my looks. My parents focused more on how smart we were, how hard we worked, how successful we were, etc. My mom never made comments about my weight because she didn't think it was important, which I really appreciated, and she always told me I was beautiful. However, being submersed in American culture, it was hard not to think that as a woman, my value was based on my looks or my weight - it is reinforced in magazines, media, etc. I think it is so hard to be a woman sometimes. hilsy85 on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154815 Thu, 10 May 2012 20:06:00 +0000 hilsy85 154815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yup looks were important in my family...everyone seemed focused on looking good and being thin. Not surprising that both my sister and I both developed eating disorders. Andrea on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154814 Thu, 10 May 2012 20:06:00 +0000 Andrea 154814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like Mrs. Bee, my family was always obsessed about my weight. cyneswith on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154809 Thu, 10 May 2012 20:03:51 +0000 cyneswith 154809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not at all - except my mom was constantly fighting to get me into outfits that didn't look insane. Mrs. Bee on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154634 Thu, 10 May 2012 19:14:04 +0000 Mrs. Bee 154634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ in asian cultures it is not taboo to talk openly about weight. my aunt can seriously tell if i gain one pound. every time i see my relatives, they will tell me whether i gained or lost weight. it was definitely a big focus in my family (not so much my parents), and culturally. i am the "fattest" one in my family. probably why i developed an eating disorder in high school! mrs. bird on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154567 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:57:50 +0000 mrs. bird 154567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Not at all! My mom didn't wear makeup or talk about looks. Once and awhile she'd tell me I was beautiful, but there was no pressure to look a certain way. mrsjyw on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154543 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:50:42 +0000 mrsjyw 154543@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope, not at all. And I was always shocked at church when gfs would tell me their moms would tell them to go on diets and stuff... My mom has never been into outer appearances (even though she's a beautiful lady)... and even now dresses very casually/humbly. She says it's a wonder where I get my fashion tastes from, cause she has none! :P Dad always said that looks didn't matter and that my inner strength and brains is what I need to be successful in life. :) Rubies on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154540 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:49:43 +0000 Rubies 154540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My physical appearance didn't matter but they cared very much about social things like manners and respect. heffalump on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154539 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:49:35 +0000 heffalump 154539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ No. My family is very laid back and casual. chopsuey on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154534 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:48:17 +0000 chopsuey 154534@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope! My parents never stressed appearances. When I started getting interested in fashion and my appearance dad was not pleased! To this day he tells me that outer appearances aren't important blah blah blah :D mrbee on "Did your family focus on looks growing up?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-family-focus-on-looks-growing-up#post-154531 Thu, 10 May 2012 18:47:20 +0000 mrbee 154531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's interesting... my family almost never discussed or referred to looks. I never even noticed how unfocused on looks my family was, until I saw some other cultures that were much more focused on looks and where it came up all the time. My parents focused on three things with us: 1) are you hardworking, 2) are you smart and 3) are you successful. The family priorities were pretty much in that order... I was a horribly dressed kid growing up haha! Did your family focus on looks growing up? Were you well dressed growing up?