https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 22:30:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-159204 Tue, 15 May 2012 13:25:57 +0000 LAGS 159204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mil came for DD's birth and stayed with us for 4 or 5 days after. SIL also stayed a few nights. mil/fil will be coming back for the holiday weekend too. I was hesitant about a full house at first but in the end it was really nice and she spoiled us with frozen meals and housework. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-159107 Tue, 15 May 2012 12:38:22 +0000 daniellemybelle 159107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LivsMama: Wow, that sounds terrible! I would be bitter too. I know it will be awkward but we will have to firmly establish the whole deal ahead of time, or else something like this would happen! And I don't blame them - a new baby works everyone into a tizzy!</p> <p>@Lozza: Setting visiting hours is great advice. While I'm sure they would love to be there all day every day, I'm sure they would respect when we need alone time, especially if we discuss it beforehand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158920 Tue, 15 May 2012 10:39:40 +0000 Lozza 158920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the hotel thing is a great compromise.<br /> My mom came up before the birth and left when LO was about 10 days old, and she stayed with us- that was perfect because she is super helpful, doesn't stress me out, and I didn't mind walking around half naked with my boobs hanging out.<br /> My dad came in for two days after LO was born, stayed at a hotel, and made himself sparse when I was feeding LO. All also good.<br /> My FIL came in the morning after LO was born and stayed another few days, also at a hotel. He is not super helpful, and I wasn't really comfortable nursing in front of him since I couldn't do it discreetly at that point and had to be topless. I feel bad about it, but I really wish that he'd waited a week or two to come up, or that we'd established more firm visiting hours with him... instead he ended up camping out in my living room for a few days, which made me feel like I had to hide out upstairs to nurse the baby, which in turn just made me wish he wasn't there.<br /> If having them around stresses you out, but you still want to give them the chance to meet LO right away, I think the hotel is a good idea and I think setting visiting hours is a good idea, so that you know that they'll be there from, say, 10 AM to noon, and again from 4 to 6, but that you have that time in between to yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158903 Tue, 15 May 2012 10:29:03 +0000 LivsMama 158903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine came when Liv was 8 days old (I left the hospital on a Tueesday, they came on Friday), even though I EXPLICITLY said I didnt want any visitors coming or staying with us for at least a month. They stayed. For a week. And I can tell you that it stressed me out like none other. I dont know how your relationship is with your ILs, but if they stress you out without a baby, multiply that by 1000 because of hormones, healing, etc. You need to set limits on how long they are welcome for in terms of daily and overall length of trip. And in my experience, I still wish I had enforced the no visitors rule. Im still bitter over that visit. Keep in mind, my MIL is NOT the type to step up and help with anything, so it wasnt like having an extra set of hands or any help </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158860 Tue, 15 May 2012 10:01:05 +0000 daniellemybelle 158860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's interesting to see what all of you did! I wouldn't ever keep DH's parents from meeting our child as soon as they can - it's just that "company" gives me anxiety. I'm hoping that they will be happy to stay in a hotel and that will alleviate a lot of stress.</p> <p>I also hope that they will come right when the baby is born and stay for just a few days. After we go home from the hospital, I would really like to be able to get settled. Hopefully they will be okay with coming back for a longer trip when the baby is older! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158140 Mon, 14 May 2012 15:08:06 +0000 autumnlove 158140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL came to the hospital before and after the birth. I wish she didn't come when I was in labor with contractions because I was in a lot of pain, was vomiting and didn't want anyone besides DH to see me that way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158103 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:48:44 +0000 cyndistar3 158103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mil lives in the same area as us, she was at the birth center while I was in labor and saw lo right after she was born. She will probably be there for this one too (not in the same room of course). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158101 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:47:54 +0000 mediagirl 158101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My Mom and Dad plan to be at the hospital when I am in labor and will stay at our house until we're home. They'll stay until we ask them to leave (which I told them may be one night or longer, depending and they're cool with that). </p> <p>His parents won't come when the baby is born. They don't travel much and will probably want to plan to come for an extended period. I did start a conversation with my husband about them visiting. I really don't want them there while I'm on leave. I don't think I could manage his Dad, the dogs, the baby and his mom all day every day for a week. I would probably end up snapping at someone. I know they would probably want to meet the baby sooner but, I want them to come once I'm back at work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158087 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:40:26 +0000 plantains 158087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mum lives in the UK and will be flying in to help. She arrives a couple of days after my due date, so hopefully she will be around for the birth. She is staying with us for 3 weeks. My MIL is only 3 hours away and will be waiting by the phone ready to drive down at teh first sign of labour. She will stay for a couple of days. She won't actually stay in our apt though, she'll stay with BIL who lives in the same building. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158071 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:21:38 +0000 winniebee 158071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have this issue because MIL (and my parents) each live an hour away - so while they will all be visiting close to the birth, no one will be staying overnight (unless we specifically request). Thank goodness! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158067 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:16:32 +0000 chopsuey 158067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Inlaws didn't come visit until LO was around 2 months old. They live in TX! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158056 Mon, 14 May 2012 14:09:32 +0000 regberadaisy 158056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom was here right after her birth and ILs a week after. My mom is staying for about 2 months and ILs stayed for a week. In retrospect we really wish the first couple weeks were just us and the baby. The help and relief was great but having them here just added another level of stress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158033 Mon, 14 May 2012 13:59:50 +0000 DillonLion 158033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My MIL has already asked off work near the due date and will be staying in our house for at least a week. She'll probably get here while I am in labor. (As for additional family from out of town - we're going to ask that they find alternate sleeping arrangements outside of our house)</p> <p>She is going to be a big help and I know between her and my mom, the two of them will do a great job of taking care of the cooking/cleaning while DH and I are tending to the baby.</p> <p>My mom lives close enough that she can come by during the day, but won't have to stay the night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158028 Mon, 14 May 2012 13:57:33 +0000 heffalump 158028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My inlaws live a half hour away, so they're always here! I think you should be fine as long as they're in a hotel. Personally, I wouldn't feel right telling them not to come right away because it's their grandchild, I'm sure they would want to see your LO asap. My inlaws were pretty helpful after LO was born, they'd come with dinner, food, etc, do laundry and clean. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158027 Mon, 14 May 2012 13:57:18 +0000 MamaMoose 158027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our parents live a plane ride away from us. At the moment the plan is to have the first week to ourselves, then have my parents come for a week and then have his parents come for a week. My parents will stay with us. It will be a game time decision whether I will let his parents stay with us or ask them to stay in the hotel down the street. Just depends on how sleep and breastfeeding and all those things are going. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158017 Mon, 14 May 2012 13:53:28 +0000 LuLu Mom 158017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are planning on both sets of parents to be at the hospital when the baby is born, as long as it's not late. Luckily for us they both live within 20 minutes so there will be no overnight guests! I don't think I could deal with that. I do plan on having my mom for a week or so be there with me during the day, I'm guessing my MIL will come after works several days a week to see the baby as well. She is always welcome, I'm lucky because she doesn't stress me out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-in-laws-come-visit-lo-right-away-for-how-long#post-158007 Mon, 14 May 2012 13:49:46 +0000 daniellemybelle 158007@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>(I'm not sure that this is in the right board, so feel free to move it!)</p> <p>DH &amp; I were talking about kids in the car this weekend, as we always do. We got on the topic of when his parents will come visit after we have our first baby. He said he thought they'd either come near my due date, or as soon as I go into labor. This doesn't surprise me, and of course DH will be thrilled to show off his first child to his parents!</p> <p>Still, part of me couldn't help but wish they would hold off for a couple weeks. It stresses me out enough when they visit - I can't imagine how stressful it will be when I'm a new mom! I have already made up my mind that we will ask them to stay in a hotel, but I don't know how long they'd come. They will be retired so they could come for weeks - who knows!</p> <p>Did your in-laws come right away or did they wait a little? How long did they stay? Did they stay with you? </p>