https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 10 Apr 2026 06:21:06 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1723437 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 11:10:45 +0000 lizzywiz 1723437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: YES. and for me the frustration was all about financial security. And, honestly, jealousy of couples who aren't struggling with this and happy little wifeys who don't have to worry about being able to support a family.<br /> My husband always works hard and brings home money, but in the last 10 years it has varied between minimum wage to white collar and everywhere in between. I finally had to give myself a harsh talk- I never intended to be a 'kept' woman and I pursued my field in part based on having a secure income to support a family. I am coming to terms with the idea that if I want fancier things in life I am gonna have to finance those myself. It is a hard pill to swallow, sometimes, I am embarrassed to say. Not super feminist.<br /> I am not implying at all that you are in the same boat in any regard. Just venting on your thread a bit!<br /> My main point is: I feel your pain :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1716069 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 10:33:15 +0000 LovelyPlum 1716069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I need to re-read this thread when I have more time, but I wanted to chime in with a resounding YES. My DH went back to school to be a teacher, and he recently graduated and is now on the job market. He is an *excellent* teacher but is super nervous to put himself on the market. It is a struggle that we are still working through. Hugs! It is hard to see someone you love struggle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1716022 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 10:22:41 +0000 Greentea 1716022@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: it sounds like you have a pretty good plan :)</p> <p>@Boogs: I know what you mean! I am probably returning to (grad) school myself. Glad your dh has his thing going! Better one out of two :)</p> <p>@yellowbird: yes! I am learning to trust him but also want him to figure it out but also I don't have all the answers! Ugh- second shift- he did that for awhile and I never saw him!</p> <p>@Mama Bird: oh no... so he would have to sort of take a step back to take one forward. Maybe that would be better long term... I guess he has to initiate that choice- tricky!</p> <p>@Mae: sounds like you two are working it out! My friend had a hard time finding work after law school and she ended up moving to Manhattan for a job (she hates NYC!) It always seemed like law would be safe but no one really has a sure thing, safe from regression and possible struggle. Not to be discouraging- just to say I suppose any field has its own challenges even if and when you do enjoy it. That will work well to work as an attorney while you build yourself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1714362 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 19:47:41 +0000 Mae 1714362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine didn't. He's had the same job since I met him and he likes it/plans to stay in the same field.</p> <p>Me on the other hand? Total struggle. I often joke that I sort of duped my husband because when he met me I was a second year law student and it seemed as though I'd just get a normal law firm job and be a successful/well-paid lawyer forever. But then I did get a law job and hated it. And realized I'd really rather be a photographer. Which sucks for a lot of reasons-- not the least of which is my massive student loans. And then I lost my law job anyways (firm closed) and I've not yet found another one so I'm sort of an unintentional SAHM at the moment... who needs to find another law job because we need a steady income, but would really rather just do photography (but I haven't booked enough to do that). </p> <p>I think it stresses my husband out a little bit that my career future is so uncertain. We both really value financial security, and while he makes good money he doesn't make SO much money that I can just not worry about bringing in an income while I figure myself out. </p> <p>What works for him/us is just being supportive but practical. He's made it clear (and I agree) that we need to be financially smart and he would not really be okay with me quitting law and not making any money doing photography for an undefined period of time, trying to become profitable. But at the same time, he's supportive of me pursuing that as much as I'm able to while still doing law. Also, that I don't need to make AS much as I was before, just enough to meet our financial goals.</p> <p>Basically I think that he's as supportive as he can possibly be of me trying to change paths... while still being practical about our finances and obligations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1714348 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 19:34:43 +0000 Greentea 1714348@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@illumina: oou how nerve wracking, but it sounds like things seem to be working out. Consulting can be a really good path. I think my DH needs some more time to clearly decide his path; I think I will feel better once he is more sure!</p> <p>@Mrs. Pen: sounds like a sound plan! I will also be planning to continue school (maybe?) when LO (or any additional) start school. Oh the stress of everyone in school- yikes! I don't have any family for help, so if dh is working and in school... I hope I don't go wacko with LOs solo (!!!!!)</p> <p>@birdofafeather: you hit the nail on the head in so many ways! Exactly- I hope DH becomes definitive in his decision so that I CAN be supportive. Right now it is so up in the air and I am very much a problem solver and type A and I don't really "do" uncertainty. Eek! Hopefully he can do his soul searching (pronto! -just kidding) this summer so that I can somewhat relax and help cheer him on. I know I have to let him figure it out... That's wonderful you have been so supportive in multiple ways and that your DH knows what he wants!</p> <p>Yep, so that is where we have left it after talking last night- he wants to keep doing what he is doing and attend school part-time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713993 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 12:19:27 +0000 Mama Bird 1713993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm glad to hear your experiences with career change... DH is looking at switching fields too. He has a part time teaching gig and it's one of the things he's super good at. The thing is, to become a teacher full time he has to start at square one, take an entry-level job with a big pay cut. He says that he worked too hard to get where he is, and keeps plugging away sending resumes in his field even though it's clearly a dead end :( I think it's partly a man self-esteem thing, not just a financial issue... I'm still struggling to convince him that his health and peace of mind are worth more... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713745 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 07:25:19 +0000 yellowbird 1713745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: that was a hard thing for me too because dh just couldn't tell me what he wanted to do. He wavered a lot about applying for a master's program or just applying for jobs. He was miserable but didn't seem to be working hard to change it. I think i was a little lost though because my career path is so different than his. I know exactly what I want to do, how to get there, and know it won't be hard for me to find something. It was hard for me to let him take the reins when I just wanted to control everything! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713573 Sat, 21 Jun 2014 00:19:35 +0000 Boogs 1713573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily DH has always known what he wanted to do and he's happy doing it.</p> <p>I'm the one struggling. I have a degree that I don't even know if I want to use and have no clue what I want to do when I'm no longer a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713529 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:55:17 +0000 googly-eyes 1713529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I definitely think your concerns are valid! It probably also for us has to do with us being very young, mid 20s, and me being a SAHM for now. The field I studied would be easy to get back into if I had to so that also helps. There are so many little aspects that make up the big picture that its really hard to judge someone else's situation but I think it's great thy you're talking about expectations now rather than later in the midst of a big transition. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713524 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:47:13 +0000 birdofafeather 1713524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH figured out what path he wanted to take about 4 years ago and after schooling and entry level work, he's finally applying to his dream job. his career path (fire) takes a LONG time and he had a great opportunity landed and then because it's a government position, it was taken away about 2 months before it was supposed to start.</p> <p>it's super hard because i'm definitely type A when it comes to work/school etc and i've realized i need to step back and let him do it. because he does a good job, but just doesn't do it the way i would. i supported him by working a day job that i was totally over when i was pregnant while he did school out of town, and then working and taking care of our baby while he did another short term program and was gone 12 hours a day.</p> <p>the important thing to me is that he's working his butt off for this and he REALLY wants it. the other important part is that this job SO suits him and i can't imagine him doing anything else.</p> <p>it would be very hard for me to support DH if he was ambivalent about the job change or wasn't sure. i would want him to have something else going and then work toward the new career part time until he was sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713507 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:33:27 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1713507@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: right - I totally hear ya there. I'm the one in school right now, so I have a lot less time with LO than he does. But I know that would shift if he goes back to school. He has his masters in math education - but he wants to move up to the research and academic development side instead. He said his dream is to write a math curriculum! Or else teach at the university level (he's at a business college), with the ability to have time for research and development. So it would be another 2-3 years likely for him to get a doctorate degree. It feels like so much of our lives spent in school honestly. And of course there is the insecurity of is this what will make us truly happy?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713503 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:30:38 +0000 Greentea 1713503@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: oh how miserable! I am so glad he found something recently that he is interested in. DH has had a heck of a time as well- he has two art related degrees... he is considering a bachelor's that would hopefully lead to a more secure job. After talking to him tonight I realize why I was frustrated- I just didn't know what he wanted, therefore it was unclear to me what role I should play. He told me to let it go awhile and let him figure it out- so I am at least glad to know that.</p> <p>@hellobeeboston: oh no! Well, I hope things look up for your SO... it is difficult because it really does affect so many things... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713490 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:22:04 +0000 Greentea 1713490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pen: does your DH know what he wants to do? I've been stressed because I just haven't been sure if he wants to get back into the field in which he earned a two-year degree- he has been expressing unhappiness with his current job (he got a degree, got a job, got fired and now works a totally different job). I've just been uncertain as to my role really, because I want to help him be happy and figure it out! After reading all the comments, we talked it out tonight and I am feeling a lot better. I (selfishly) also want him to have time to be with me and lo, so the thought of him being in school and working... will be a sacrifice for all of us (if he pursues a new path). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713482 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:14:25 +0000 Greentea 1713482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@googly-eyes: glad you are figuring it out. I think it is a difficult thing to navigate. You don't really know what something is going to be like, especially in practice, before you have actually arrived there. It is like traveling to a foreign land you are supposed to find a happy life in and sometimes there isn't even an open room. That's great your DH is more settled and supportive. DH has been so supportive of me as well; I think we really needed that talk tonight. I just didn't know if he wanted me to keep searching for work for him or what and I am relieved to know what he wants and happy it happens to be to cool my jets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713472 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:05:30 +0000 Greentea 1713472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@loveisstrange: very similar situations! Except, I didn't even meet dh until he was 28! I think you are doing the right thing being supportive. DH's degree will take years as well... Maybe it is a positive that they are making this decision when they are older, wiser -?-, and have some more experience under the belt (hardy har!)- more motivation and life experience to play into the decision. I know that I at times regret getting a degree in my younger years when I had no idea what I was doing. Sometimes I feel MORE stuck than if I had the grants/loans/writeoffs I would now...</p> <p>But obviously with LOs it is more scary and complicated... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713441 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:30:47 +0000 Greentea 1713441@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: what wonderful and rational advice. I actually do feel the same way about dh, and I think you are right- tonight that is exactly what he said- that he needs to take some time to really consider the situation and what will be best. I am proud of him for coming up with a plan (for now) that was his own idea and works toward a higher degree- even if it means another career change. I think my apprehension stemmed in part from worrying whether he was just kind of *running away* - whether he should stick it out in his current pursuit. He told me tonight that he wants to take time to deliberate so that he isn't making any decisions out of desperation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713431 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:22:57 +0000 Greentea 1713431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Starfish: oh you are not alone. DH got fired two days prior to our bfp! This thread is really helping me see the positives. He got the job he is at now and it has free benefits (!) and is relatively secure. We had a talk when he got home tonight. I am so thankful you (and everyone!) commented on this thread- it helped me kind of vent and be more rational (as a result) when we did speak.</p> <p>I feel okay where we left it. For now, he wants to try something new in the fall, as far as a degree is concerned. It was totally his own idea. Prior to this convo, I had not been totally sure if he wanted to continue with his current career- which has little to do with his job- it was the work he was fired from! (He had a very bad experience.) That's where we left it and he is open. I am too. The career /job he had been fired from is something he wants to take time to consider- I am just glad to know because I had been trying to help him find new work in that field. Also, he has been unhappy at his current job- so I was trying to help him get back into his career. Phew! Long!</p> <p>Thanks for your advice. That is crap about the car break-in. When it rains it seems to pour. DH had everything taken from his car once and it feels like such a violation. I have a story about that as well... I will send good thoughts and hope your SO does well in July, or works out whatever is right for him! And for you- commuting can be a life drain.</p> <p>I agree we aren't meant to do the same thing forever. I love that about life! I can't even imagine living in the same home forever... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713149 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 18:10:57 +0000 yellowbird 1713149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes. My dh has two bachelor's degrees but neither were really getting him where he wanted to be. He was in the manufacturing industry for 6 years before we moved cities for my job. I make a lot more than he does and my job was tanking so we had to move. He had a horrible time trying to find anyone to hire him in any field. He found something after applying for 9 months but it was 3rd shift and manufacturing which he hates. </p> <p>He took it because I was extremely stressed being the sole provider but he was miserable. He finally just got hired in a field he is excited about in april, but he took a pay cut and we are definitely feeling the effects. It really sucks but he's much happier so it is worth it. I just hope he can finally move up the ladder and make a career. He's been at entry level pay for 8 years and it is lame :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713091 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 17:18:55 +0000 Mrs. Pen 1713091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I know that my apprehension with DH pursuing other paths is that I feel my sense of security will be breached. I want him to be happy in his career for sure - but I feel "safe" knowing he has a good, stable job right now and what might happen if he messes with that. Does that make sense? At this moment, I'm relying on him to provide the bulk of the income while I'm in school and if anything jeopardized that - I wouldn't be able to support us. He does want to go back to school -but agreed to wait until I'm done. </p> <p>Do you know why you feel frustrated about it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713066 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 16:53:26 +0000 googly-eyes 1713066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dh actually struggled in college but not in the working world. He's book smart but was unmotivated. Now that he's in his field he sees concrete results and he's good at what he does. </p> <p>I, on the other hand, have a degree and a half I don't use, and am planning on switching AGAIN. (eta- I don't need an additional degree, but I will need some training.) Not because I don't like what I studied in school, but because I am trying to get more nontraditional hours as I think it will benefit our family. Plus, I've worked. albeit in an entry level pt position, in the field I want to go into, and I grew up "around " it. (My parents both work in that field and had we moved a couple months ago as planned I had a job to go to as well, but now I'll have to find another here which could be difficult.) Dh is totally supportive of this, probably because it comes with more knowledge about the field and about our lifestyles. He genuinely wants me to be happy, but I also know that in the long run once we have older (school age) kids, I need to make a financial/career contribution for the health of our relationship as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1713050 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 16:41:29 +0000 loveisstrange 1713050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH is currently in the midst of a huge career change. He dropped out of college at 21 to join the USAF and he's been disarming bombs for the past 5 years. Now, he wants to go back to college at 26 and become an engineer... a course of study that is likely going to take 5-6 years for him to complete.</p> <p>Im behind him and I told him I would be. I encouraged him to pursue engineering, because I know thats really what he wants and would enjoy doing, even though he could have done something else in much less time. We've been squirreling away money for the past 2 years and we have the savings to coast by for a while until I graduate next Spring and can get a job. </p> <p>Ive just been supportive and Ive been listening to him and encouraging him to plan out what he's doing. Other than that, I dont think I could do much else. I feel like being supportive is enough right now. Am I worried? Oh yeah. Am I a little annoyed that he is just now deciding this at 26? Yeah. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712804 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 14:30:42 +0000 gingerbebe 1712804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I don't know that DH struggled with his career in terms of changing career tracks, but he got out of law school during a rough time in the economy. It took 18 months for him to find a job and we got married while he was unemployed and I was studying for the Bar Exam. We were brookkke. </p> <p>After 18 months he finally got a job, but it wasn't an attorney gig and it was a 2 hour commute each way. He did that for another 20 months before switching to teaching undergraduate law courses, which is a lot more relevant. During the time he was in his non-attorney job, he started his own private law practice out of his home office. We did it on a shoestring budget, and after 3 years, he makes more money doing the law practice than his day job, but he has the stability of retirement and health care benefits that teaching gives him. Plus he likes it.</p> <p>In the midst of all this, I never worried about his career. He was stressed out, but I never lost faith in him and knew we'd be just fine in the long run. The reason I never felt worried is because he took (and takes) his responsibility to support our family extremely seriously and to be honest, he puts my happiness ahead of his own when he comes up with ideas. That gives me a lot of peace of mind when he comes up with a plan and it makes me want to advocate for HIM more when we discuss a plan of action. And we never do anything until we mutually 100% agree on a course of action. Then there's no resentment in the future.</p> <p>I think if he wants to change careers or do something that could potentially insert some instability into your life, he really needs to earn your support by showing you that he's being intentional and thoughtful about these decisions and how they may affect you and your family in both the short and long term. I think if he did that, it would go a long way in making you feel more supportive of whatever change that might be. If you're feeling frustrated that he doesn't know what he wants to do, I think it just means he needs more time to figure out his options. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712710 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 13:50:28 +0000 Starfish 1712710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really glad I'm not the only one going through this. I honestly have been feeling a bit lonely about it lately. None of my friends really understand the frustrations of having a SO out of work (unemployment is a joke!) while TTC. It's really stressful. </p> <p>On top of everything else my SO had his car broken into last week (smashed the passenger side window) and took something of value (he shouldn't have left it in the car) right outside our place. And then 2 days later his car battery died. Timing at it's finest!! :) To say we are stressed about money is an understatement. but we always figure it out. And we will this time too. So will you.</p> <p>@GreenTea : Since he doesn't know what he wants to do, maybe sit down this weekend and have a casual chat with him. The SO and I have had that conversation "what would you do if money weren't an option" and I think that at least helps you figure out what you really want to do in life. </p> <p>I'm sure we aren't meant to do the same thing forever. It's figuring out what will make you happy, when you are unhappy that is the hard part. </p> <p>I'm hoping through all this my SO will get this dream job and eventually make enough for me to be a stay at home Mom, or at the very least give me the luxury of leaving my current job and finding something with less pay closer to home (my commute is hellish) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712675 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 13:36:26 +0000 Greentea 1712675@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Starfish: Good good points. I think I feel extra stressed because he doesn't know what to do (or what he wants to do). I end up feeling, to some extent, responsible for helping him figure it out/ get it sorted. One option would probably take ten years! (!) At the same time... that time is going to pass anyhow... </p> <p>You have a good attitude and you are right, things could be worse! Always helps to look at the positive... I am glad to be able to vent a little here, I think it'll help me buck up a bit.</p> <p>@Anagram: Thanks Anagram. I feel the same way; he is supportive of me and I am supportive of him (in this and all of our changes). I think the fact that he isn't sure is what adds to the stress. I wish I was a career expert or really knew what was right for him or where he will succeed or just had a crystal ball...</p> <p>@Mama Bird: I am so sorry to hear that. What an awful turn of events in that environment. I know what you mean about kissing butt- DH does not have that personality and it is unfortunate when such seems required. I hope things improve and well done being so supportive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712651 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 13:29:01 +0000 hellobeeboston 1712651@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I know EXaCTLY how you are feeling... Don't want to write too much though, but yeah - it can be tough! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712645 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 13:27:43 +0000 illumina 1712645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not in terms of career choice exactly, but DH got to a point where he was pretty fed up with the job/place he had worked for 6 years and wanted out. There wasn't much else on offer that he was tempted by...except he had this idea of starting his own consultancy business in the same field. Anyway, it was literally the point we were starting TTC and I was planning to SAH with LO so it wasn't the best time to take risks, but I trusted him and let him run with it...we've had some tough times in the last year or two but things are on the most part going really well. It sucks when they're going through it but I think what I learnt was just how to be supportive and encouraging. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712484 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:28:34 +0000 Anagram 1712484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Greentea: I haven't had this issue with my DH, but I've had many many women friends change careers several times. In those cases, their husbands were the primary breadwinners and so I guess they felt more free to switch around (and maybe they were less dependent on steady income). But philosophically I don't believe men should be more tied to one profession because of societal gender roles, KWIM?</p> <p>In practice it would be harder for me to accept because I'm totally a product of my environment, so I totally understand the unease on your part. Good luck to both of you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712479 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:27:02 +0000 Mama Bird 1712479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel for you both! Same situation here. DH has been at his job for 8 years with hopes of being promoted. Two years ago, new management came in and things went downhill. Nothing's done well any more, they're only concerned with stuffing their pockets, and it's just a really unhealthy atmosphere. No one gets promoted unless they're good at kissing up. Two of the senior directors from the old guard have died suddenly this year... heart disease, stroke, and I'm sure the stress. DH sends resume after resume but no results. I've been begging him to just quit, even if we'll be screwed financially. It's hard to be supportive when I'd rather be cutting my hours to be home with our kid more, but anything is better than being that unhappy in your job.</p> <p>As far as helping... I mostly proofread the resumes. I wrote to every one of my Facebook connections who work in the same field, but only a couple responded, and no one could help. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712459 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:19:18 +0000 Starfish 1712459@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@GreenTea: I'm not going to lie, it took me about a month to finally realize that this is something that he needs to do for him, and I need to be a little selfless and let him figure it out.</p> <p>I just keep reminding myself that this is only temporary. Things will get better. If I had the opportunity to change careers and work in a field that I loved I would hope that my SO would support me in the change. </p> <p>I'm not saying I don't have bad days, just the beginning of this week I had a nice cry fest (I really am that miserable at work) but had to put my big girl panties on and realize that things could be a LOT worse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/did-your-so-struggle-with-their-career#post-1712438 Fri, 20 Jun 2014 12:09:18 +0000 Greentea 1712438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Starfish: THANKS- "he needs to make his own choices," I really think I needed to hear that. It is difficult because I am very typeA and he is very much not. "He needs to be the one to figure it out," -yes! You're right. But goodness, this is stressful and requires a lot of patience.</p> <p>It sounds like you understand, being that you have had to cut back as well as stay in a position you loathe to allow your SO to be/feel supported through his change. How do you cope, is their something you remind yourself if and when you feel frustrated? </p>