https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 26 Apr 2026 05:35:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021752 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 10:24:17 +0000 LovelyPlum 2021752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting! Our MO has come to be that if both of us are going, LO is coming with us. If someone wants to go out kid-free, then only one of us can go. </p> <p>In general, in our circles, it seems that bringing the kids is the norm. If someone doesn't want kids involved, they say so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021659 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 09:32:39 +0000 JoJoGirl 2021659@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is fascinating. I ALWAYS assume invitations are kid-free, even if both me and the other person are parents. If kids are invited, it's always specified. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021641 Tue, 13 Jan 2015 09:23:52 +0000 wonderstruck 2021641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HabesBabe: I have a cousin who does! I can even say girl's night and she shows up with her FI, and her child too now that she has one. It's incredibly annoying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021268 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 22:44:31 +0000 78h2o 2021268@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HabesBabe: I totally agree. Even when my friends with kids suggest going out for dinner, I ask if they were thinking we'd go with or without the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021070 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 20:24:16 +0000 Espion 2021070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We take E everywhere, because he is a fairly mellow kid, but if I was going out to meet friends, I'd ask. </p> <p>We took E to an office-mate's Christmas party, and I still felt a little ridiculous even though they told me it was okay and he was welcomed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2021041 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 20:03:31 +0000 HabesBabe 2021041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: I'm with you. I'm not part of any package deal (kids, or husband), so if I get an invite, I'm assuming it's just for me, unless we specify it's w/ SOs and/or kids.</p> <p>Would anyone assume that if your single/sans-SO friend invited you to dinner, that you would be bringing your SO, just because you had one? Or even if my best friend said to me, "Let's grab dinner/Let's grab a drink" I'd still ask if she meant with our husbands or without. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020988 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:17:11 +0000 babycanuck 2020988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I actually am surprised when my parent friends don't bring their kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020984 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:10:07 +0000 Modern Daisy 2020984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a 16 month old and i would never bring him out to dinner, even if friends requested it. It is way too much work, absolutely exhausting and i don't have any fun if he comes. When he gets to be 3 or 4 i might consider bringing him, but would totally clarify that first regardless but esp with a childless couple. Even though i have a child i would assume you had hired a sitter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020968 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:50:38 +0000 winter_wonder 2020968@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have assumed no kids. I've been out to dinner with a friend who brought her daughter, i think she was 4 at the time. I didn't know in advance and was kind of annoyed...sorry! I was excited to have some girl time but it didn't happen :bummed: it just wasn't what i was expecting! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020924 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:15:10 +0000 Revel 2020924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting thread! I'm a mom and I mostly agree w @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: and PP who would have assumed no kids. I don't think anyone is right or wtong, but my default for dinners out is no kids. That may be in part because we have family to watch her though and a toddler who is into everything! It's tough when you have to factor in paying a sitter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020920 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:11:41 +0000 sunny 2020920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for a dinner that was with an ex-boss, I would assume that it would be a child-free evening. In our case, we don't have any babysitters that we use, so it would have just been 1 adult and the other parent would stay home with LO. </p> <p>However, if friends invited us (as a couple) out at 6:30 to a casual place just to get together (not for a specific celebration or event), I am 100% assuming that LO is invited and she is coming with us. I'd probably sneak it in there, if I wasn't sure that it was clear. "Oh, do you think that place has high chairs?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020917 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 18:11:04 +0000 meredithNYC 2020917@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: yeah, man - I don't consider me and LO to be a "packaged deal" at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020881 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 17:42:44 +0000 GrapeCrush 2020881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ra: word!</p> <p>I never assume the kids are coming/welcome, but I also like to do things sans kids. I can't visit, catch up, enjoy myself fully with one, or both of the kids. They aren't bad at restaurants, but require more attention than if it's just me stuffing my face. I definitely put it out there if I/we need to bring the kids to see if it's cool, otherwise, I just assume they are staying home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020810 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:45:14 +0000 blackbird 2020810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: summer's for day drinking ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/3#post-2020796 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:33:45 +0000 Maysprout 2020796@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I usually save the drinking till tipsy for kid bedtime hours :wink: I guess I'm getting old I haven't been daytime tipsy for awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020793 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:30:48 +0000 Ra 2020793@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always ask, "Should I bring B?" regardless of the occasion. I never assume my child is welcome just because I am. Maybe I'm not in the norm, but I also don't see my son as a "package deal" with us. Not all situations are toddler appropriate. I'm not going to miss out on occasions for the simple fact that my son wasn't invited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020792 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:29:51 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2020792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: you're so right about drinking not excluding LOs. My earlier example at the Mexican restaurant with the double dipping LO involved margaritas for both my friend and I. Typically, we drink til tipsy, but with a LO my pal was one and done. Not quite the same, but close enough. I think those three lines of convo could come up in a much larger discussion though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020780 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 16:14:42 +0000 Maysprout 2020780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: sure if it was a convo with that specific purpose in mind. Most of our plans come up more spontaneously though when we're chatting with people, which I guess was what I imagined she was describing, maybe not though. I also wouldn't think a drink would exclude lo though. But if it's me and dh going out during non bedtime hours we'd have to have a good reason to hire a babysitter. I don't mind hanging out with friends during family hours (non work kid awake hours) but at least in our group maybe bc of the number of hours worked those are fairly clearly family hours and it would be specified and with good reason why kids were excluded. Otherwise people wait till after bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020685 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:29:08 +0000 JerricaBenton 2020685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Baby Boy Mom: agree with everything you said. </p> <p>Very interesting discussion. I always assume friends know we're bringing LO to an early dinner but this is making me wonder haha. If LO was a terror at restaurants maybe it'd be an issue but she's great at restaurants and I've never felt like I couldn't participate in conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020674 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:23:08 +0000 Ajsmommy 2020674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just clarify when making plans. I do find it hard to focus when DD is along and if it's a double date so to speak I feel left out b/c I'm focused on DD and miss out on the conversation </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020665 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:18:06 +0000 plantains 2020665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmm, I live in NYC and I take DD out with me a lot. To the restaurant, the bar you name it. I don't ever assume though, I always tell people I am bringing her. I don't think I have ever taken her to dinner without it being clear that the people we are meeting want to see her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020643 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 15:06:16 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2020643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Maysprout: a convo would like this...</p> <p>Scenario 1<br /> Lemon: hey mamafriend, you want to get together for lunch soon?<br /> Mamafriend: yes, how's Saturday.<br /> Lemon: perfect see you then</p> <p>Kids not mentioned at all. I'm not thinking kids will be there.</p> <p>Scenario 2<br /> Lemon: hey Mamafriend, you want to get together for lunch son?<br /> Mamafriend: love too this weekend, but would need to bring the baby.<br /> Lemon: oh, okay. (A)</p> <p>Or...Lemon: oh, I was hoping we could drink cocktails at lunch, when are you available sand baby (B)</p> <p>So, it's just communication. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020513 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 14:14:15 +0000 Madison43 2020513@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always assume dinners with friends are child free occasions - we have a 7 pm bedtime and even a 5:30 meet time would make me feel rushed and I wouldn't be able to enjoy catching up. Plus, at 15 months, LO is a little crazy in the hour or so before bedtime so she's wouldn't make the best dinner companion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020477 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:59:59 +0000 Maysprout 2020477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For those bringing up invitations who is doing the inviting when talking on the phone and agreeing to meet up? I guess I've never viewed a meetup as one party having dominating control of the invitation specifics. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020470 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:58:44 +0000 fancyfunction 2020470@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm always under the assumption that it's child free unless otherwise specified. If we planned on bringing M it would be something I'd mention ahead of time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020443 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:49:32 +0000 HabesBabe 2020443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even with my close friends, we always specify if it's kids-included or kid-free. If it's not specifically mentioned, I would assume that the dinner would be kid-free, regardless of how "fancy" the restaurant is, or what time we're meeting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020421 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:42:44 +0000 birdofafeather 2020421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>maybe we're skewed by the fact that we have no family in the area and haven't spent money on a babysitter for a night out for just us in the 2 years we've had her, but i would have also assumed LO was going to a 6:30 dinner. sounded like a casual dinner, even though it was an ex-boss. for the future reschedule, i would definitely clarify and if they want something without LO, i would actually probably stay home or have them over after LO went to bed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020408 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:36:50 +0000 PurplePeony 2020408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To me, it depends on the degree of friendship -- with close friends, I'd definitely bring LO, but with acquaintances and not-so-close friends, I'd assume it was child-free unless LO was specifically invited. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020269 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 12:54:43 +0000 Trailmix 2020269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the situation you're describing, I would have assumed you would not bring your LO. If it were a couple-friend of you both or other parents, etc, then it might be different but given the people you were meeting for dinner, I would not take my LOs and would have made the same assumption as the people you were supposed to meet. Probably a good idea to clarify in the future! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/dinner-with-child-free-friends/page/2#post-2020259 Mon, 12 Jan 2015 12:52:11 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2020259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm finding this pretty interesting. For me any time before 8 pm would indicate that we are bringing the kids. But I guess anyone that knows me well enough that we are going to dinner together already knows that I'm a package deal. :) </p>