https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 09:08:11 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761657 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 14:05:23 +0000 lamariniere 2761657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really think this depends on the family. In my own family, I ask for and give gift suggestions and everyone is fine with it. In my DH's family no one really asks or gives and we end up with random stuff, some of it is useful, and some of it goes unused and feels wasteful. Personally, I like when people tell me what they want. I'm a terrible gift giver, mostly because I think the receiver is going to hate what I give them and I don't want to waste the opportunity, so I highly appreciate suggestions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761618 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 12:48:28 +0000 littlejoy 2761618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We aren't a big gift family, but if someone asks, I do like to give suggestions. The last thing I want is a big, plastic drum set (which we did receive). If I could steer someone more towards art supplies or books, I will! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761550 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:48:04 +0000 youboots 2761550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a running Amazon list and give it to anyone who asks </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761549 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:42:43 +0000 JerricaBenton 2761549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: very true, make it a lesson! And omg, deodorant?? Terrible gifting to a new level. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761546 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:38:02 +0000 Adira 2761546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: Yeah, I was willing to put up with getting the same thing every year (and one year I got deodorant from them... thanks), but with the kids, I feel bad. I feel bad that the kids are getting junk and I feel bad that the gifts aren't appreciated. The only upside is that it's a great opportunity to teach my kids how to be gracious! But it's HARD to get them to be thankful and appreciative when they get something they have ZERO interest in or absolutely hate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761544 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:34:53 +0000 JerricaBenton 2761544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: yes! The kid stuff is most a annoying to me now. Like it's hard for a 4 yo to understand why they got a 2 sizes too small bathing suit at Christmas or a random baby picture book. DH's family doesn't do the everyone gets the same thing deal, but that cracks me up. Like, absolutely bare minimum thought and care required. I've often said to dh that we should suggest only doing kid gifts on his side but mil would never go for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761542 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:29:52 +0000 Adira 2761542@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JerricaBenton: Yeah, I don't understand the anti-list thing, especially if you aren't going to put a lot of thought into the gift anyway. My in-laws give everyone the same thing - last year we all got winter jackets (Hubs, me, SIL, SIL's boyfriend). They were all identical and not the right sizes. And for YEARS, they would give me hat and gloves every Christmas. Thanks? And now they'll give my kids random stuff they aren't interested in or clothes that aren't the right sizes or my kids refuse to wear. PLEASE just ASK me what they want/need instead of giving us stuff we can't/won't use! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761529 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:15:06 +0000 JerricaBenton 2761529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: this is exactly our situation lol.</p> <p>My side is huge on lists. Everyone gets what they want, plus some extras that are surprises. I love making my list haha. DH's family never asks for ideas, so literally every gift is something we don't want/like, doesn't fit, etc and never a receipt to be found. I can understand if full wish lists aren't your jam, but at least suggestions? Or ask for sizes or what lo is into? Idk I feel like it's almost more thoughtless to buy crap and not care if the recipient likes it and not even give a receipt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761523 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 10:06:51 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2761523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My side is a list family, DH isn't. I basically have to force him to make a list for my family every year. And yet, every year we both return the stuff his family gifts us because it is so far off base from what we want....given this, I can't understand why he is so anti-list!</p> <p>ETA: we make the list but don't share it with anyone until we are asked. My family always asks, but I couldn't imagine sending it out preemptively.</p> <p>That said, we are very conscious of putting things on our lists at all price points, from a book to fancy perfume. (spoiler: i got the book, but no one bought the perfume!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761508 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 09:33:12 +0000 Shantuck 2761508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't like lists. I think it feels too presumptuous. I'm happy to give people general ideas if they ask for the kids and I make sure it's never something pricey but when I'm on the other end, it's awkward when my sister sends me a $100 item on my nephew's "wish list" and I was planning to spend $30 to $40 (it seems like his "list" is always comprised of a single high priced item... and he's 4). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761502 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 09:11:37 +0000 MaryM 2761502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my family, we don't do actual "lists" persay. </p> <p>My mom might ask what DH and I need before a holiday. Or she'll ask for help getting DH's birthday present (he's super hard to buy for). But it's not like he provides a written list of things he'd really like to get. </p> <p>And for kids on that side of the family, we usually either give cash (it's seriously their most favorite thing ever) or for the little kids, I'll ask SIL what they need. With a family of 10 kids, it's kind of annoying if people just keep buying toys for every holiday because they have so much stuff handed down. </p> <p>On DH's side, it's sort of the same. His family just sort of guesses for me. His sister will ask DH for ideas and that helps in getting things that are more my taste...but overall, most things from MIL end up being returned (god bless her, she thinks I'm two sizes smaller than I really am) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761498 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 09:04:59 +0000 catlady 2761498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go back and forth on this. On my side, the lists are so specific, it ends up being stupid. My brother and father tell me exactly what they want, and they want me to tell them exactly what I want (and what DH wants). We could just as easily exchange money, or stop gifting completely, as it is not personal at all. However, it does make it easy for me.</p> <p>On DH's side, nobody ever gives any types of suggestions. It takes more effort to pick out stuff, and the gifts I receive are almost never to my tastes (and this may be mutual but we are all too polite to ever say anything to each other). So gift giving feels sort of wasteful.</p> <p>I like the idea of gift suggestions, it seems like a nice middle ground. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761494 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 09:02:10 +0000 littlebug 2761494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents ask for suggestions for the kids, and I appreciate that. That way we don't end up with stuff that they don't need/doesn't fit/etc. My MIL asks for suggestions but then buys a bunch of nonsense anyway, and it irritates the crap out of me. She never buys the right size clothing (and doesn't get receipts) and buys a bunch of junky little trinkets at the dollar store. I'd rather she spend the money she bought on all that crap and buy one nice thing that the kids actually want! I know it's the thought that counts, but we currently have at least 10 superballs, 4 silly putties, 6 sticky wall-walkers...you get the gist. I sent her the Amazon wish lists I keep for the kids every year, and every year she gets nothing from it, even though she asks me to send it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761491 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:59:54 +0000 snowjewelz 2761491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In both our families we are totally cool if someone just outright asks for what they want, give a list, suggestions, anything! I personally hate getting things I don't really want, or giving people useless things, so I love that we are all just so blunt about it. For our parents, they never have anything they want so it's hard to get it out of them sometimes. For my sister I always ask for a list or general direction. For my kids' cousins, we always ask as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761467 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:30:34 +0000 Truth Bombs 2761467@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Im fine giving suggestions if asked, but I'm not a huge list person. My husband's family is really into everyone doing lists. To me, if someone is just buying me what I asked them to buy me, what's the point? I can just buy it for myself. To me, gifts are truly about the thought. That someone put time and effort into thinking of something they thought I would enjoy. I certainly don't understand being upset that someone wants to pick out their own gift for you or your children. Even if you don't love it, it's a gift and it should be appreciated. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761464 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:26:04 +0000 Alba4 2761464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our immediate families always share wish lists for Xmas and for birthdays. I think it would be rude to have a gift registry for birthdays. I do appreciate a gift lead for close friends' kids.</p> <p>I wish we would stop exchanging gifts between adults for Christmas. It is so costly and we are all able to buy things we need. I'd rather make a donation to charity with the money spend on adult gifts. My mil and my own mother nearly died when I suggested that we only buy for the children. Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761462 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:22:41 +0000 Madison43 2761462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think unsolicited lists are pushy, but if his brother asked what he could get, I would definitely make the suggestion of a balance bike. I always ask for a list or suggestions and am thrilled when people are super specific because it saves me time and I know the recipient will be happy! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761460 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:16:00 +0000 skinnycow 2761460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I create private registries for DD for gifts. I don't share them unless someone asks for a specific suggestion. I've always appreciated suggestions - especially before I had DD and had no idea what kids needed/wanted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761452 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:05:06 +0000 looch 2761452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We only buy for the adults on my husband's side as part of a "secret santa." My mother in law nearly had a stroke at the suggestion that we include some gift suggestions or possibly create a theme for the gift giving that year, even though, behind the scenes, everyone asks for suggestions on what to buy. Since she organizes the names, she said she "had to think about it" and she also got pressure from my other sister in law and now we do the 3 suggestions along with your name.</p> <p>It's great and I finally get stuff I can use!</p> <p>As for gifts for kids, I think it's a great thing. If you don't give me a suggestion, cash it is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761439 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 07:24:54 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2761439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kind of wish the people who buy for LO would ask for a list or at least buy things with similar attributes and quality we buy for him. In the balance bike example that seems like a perfect fit for the giver once he asked for suggestions.</p> <p>For an adult it just seems weird to me to give a list, but gifting adults seems a little odd to me anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761433 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 06:54:32 +0000 Ajsmommy 2761433@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I love lists. And I'd prefer to give the grandparents/aunts/uncles lists too for my littles but we don't really do lists on either side. My in laws do sometimes ask for ideas.. however most of the time they go rogue anyway so it's kind of pointless (ie: last Christmas I told them DD really wanted some calico critters and they seemed interested in getting some for her.. at the last minute xmas eve I decided to buy a set just in case.. THANK GOODNESS I did bc they didn't get her any) I give my mom some ideas and she usually gets one or two of the idea gifts and then some random things she picks.</p> <p>Honestly, I feel like I know my kids the best and I know what they'd like....also I don't want anything too big to take up space or things with LOTS of pieces or parts to lose! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761427 Tue, 25 Jul 2017 06:29:42 +0000 Adira 2761427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LOVE lists! My family does this and still does it now that we're all adults. It's the BEST. I HATE that my in-laws refuse to get on board with the list idea. I've stopped shopping for them altogether because I have no idea what to get them and Hubs doesn't help. And I hate that they won't take all my hints that I have lists for the kids and they just buy whatever they feel like which is usually stuff my kids have no interest in and won't use. I just don't understand why people wouldn't want to make sure the gift they are giving is something someone actually wants!</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: I agree - we don't ever give out our gift list unprompted, even though we all know we're doing it, haha. We wait for someone to ask and then send the lists out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761409 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 23:41:52 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2761409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's one thing if you're asked, but to unprompted make a list comes across as pushy/rude to me. It kind of defeats the point of a gift IMO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761399 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 22:57:32 +0000 Anagram 2761399@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither of our families do lists. But none of us are huge gift givers anyway, so for sure we would never suggest anything over $20. </p> <p>If even my mom asks for a suggestion, I always suggest a smaller, less expensive option. It's not that she can't afford more, it's just that we already buy our kids so much and I'd rather our families spend on themselves. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761392 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 22:10:47 +0000 catgirl 2761392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Growing up both sides of my family liked having suggestions or wish lists. It was just normal for us to do it that way. DH's family thinks it's weird to ask for or tell something specific. BUT his family is horrible at giving gifts. They also don't believe in gift receipts. 90% of things we receive from his family go straight to the donation pile.</p> <p>DH prefers the way my family does gifts but knows he won't change his family. So we just roll with it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761391 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 22:10:42 +0000 Foodnerd81 2761391@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are all about lists on both sides of the family. Some family members prefer direction- like you said, lift the flap books, fall clothes; others want a link to a specific item. I sometimes feel weird sending the suggestions to DH's side of the family though and wish he would do it for his side. </p> <p>FIL has gone a little too far in the other direction, IMO. He wants to know what to buy for LOs upcoming bday that is fun but also educational. Um... I don't know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761389 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 21:58:37 +0000 Jennibenni 2761389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it just depends on what the family is used to. My family thinks it is super rude and gift grabby/entitled to ask for specific things, and my mom really enjoys thinking of/searching for the perfect gift for everyone. My husband's family is the total opposite, his mom needs an exact item, preferably with a link, to shop for. It gives her anxiety if she has think of things and she is offended if we don't get lists to her in time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761386 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 21:46:19 +0000 helloperidot 2761386@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I grew up in a family that was free with gift suggestions and still make a list (at 35), so I'm all for it. My DH is super offended by the idea of suggesting gifts or making lists..."if someone really knows me, they'll know what to gift me!" I'm in charge of making his list now. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761385 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 21:40:33 +0000 jhd 2761385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's family ask for suggestions at Christmas and sometimes for LO's birthday. My mom does her own thing, but we have similar taste and I think she does a great job without suggestions so it doesn't bother me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/directedsuggested-gift-giving#post-2761381 Mon, 24 Jul 2017 21:10:35 +0000 DesertDreams88 2761381@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In my extended family it is very normal to have gift "suggestions." Like we always made Christmas lists and with the adult secret Santa, people would pass around ideas usually through a 3rd party. When gift giving occasions come up with my parents, I usually have general suggestions - like size 7 sandals, bath toys, or interactive (flap, sensory) books, etc. Stuff that is semi-functional and desired.</p> <p>DH thinks gift suggestions are too pushy. For example, his brother is a avid biker, and I thought he would love to pick our a balance bike or trike for LO for Christmas or his bday, in the future. DH was all like, "No, no, I couldn't ever tell _____ that." Money wasn't the issue.</p> <p>What do you think of suggested gift giving, esp among family? </p>