https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 16:18:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687809 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 23:00:35 +0000 birdofafeather 2687809@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i feel you. from 2y11m to 3y10m, i was convinced i lost my dear sweet girl to a crazy demon and that i was going down with her. we tried time outs, yelling, taking things away, coercing, bribing, sticker charts (probably most successful), time, hugs, space, ignoring, crying..... yeah.</p> <p>we realized that when she got into tantrums, she needed physical touch to calm her. so even when she was freaking out, i waited a minute, and then held her tight until her little body could relax. that mostly helped us not be so angry and get her calm so we could figure out where to go from there.</p> <p>about 2 months ago (she just turned 4), i slowly started seeing my little buddy come back. she's gotten better at getting a hold on her "big feelings" and recognizing when she's doing something wrong. so basically, for us, it just took time. </p> <p>i feel you in the trenches though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687749 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 21:27:38 +0000 ShootingStar 2687749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For kicking and hitting that's an automatic time out. If she won't stay in the corner I'd put her in her room and lock it if I had to. I skew a little more authoritarian than some others here, especially when it comes to this kind of behavior. We are a no hitting house and I take that very seriously. </p> <p>If she won't potty/wash hands before a meal I wouldn't give her any food until she complies and I'd make sure to eat my own meal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687702 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 20:07:49 +0000 Foodnerd81 2687702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsRoo: Pushing her sister is the number one way to get me to lose my cool, and my kid knows it. She keeps going until she gets a reaction. But at least for now time outs affect her and she gets upset and stays in her room. And yes, some days I am legit crazy. Or I pass off both kids to DH as soon as he walks in the door and curl up on the couch for 15 minutes until it's time to nurse the baby before bed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687690 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 19:59:38 +0000 MrsRoo 2687690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: yea, thankfully our 9 month old sleeps pretty well. If I was dealing with this behavior while sleep deprived, I'd be legit crazy. ::hugs::<br /> @Kemma: it's possible she's doing it for the reaction. When she's just defiant, I can keep my cool. But when I asked her to potty and wash up for lunch she came over and kicked me and her baby sister. After she was finished with dinner I was eating the last couple bites on her plate, so she poured her milk on the food while I was eating it. The violent and just purposefully mean behavior trigger me every time. I can stay calm for the first warning, but then when I put her in time out she laughs and follows me back out of her room. That's what I'm having the problem with. If after the initial warning, she keeps going or escalates her behavior, what am I supposed to do? </p> <p>Kudos to FT SAH parents. I've been home with her for two weeks and I want to cry almost everyday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687643 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 19:13:18 +0000 Kemma 2687643@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do you react to the disobedience and is it possible that she's doing it for the reaction? And how is the connection between the two of you?</p> <p>My other thought is that if she doesn't wash her hands then she doesn't eat lunch! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687641 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 19:10:52 +0000 Foodnerd81 2687641@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm afraid we are heading in that direction. My LO is 3.5 and nothing is getting through. She's not even behaving at school anymore. I've tried reward charts and talking it out and yelling and taking things away... I don't even know. And I'm doing it after sleeping through the night maybe a dozen times in the last year (baby sister). I just don't know what to do either and I feel like it's my fault she's acting like this, since I SAH and am with her all the time and lose my temper and yell way more than I should. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disciplining-a-willful-almost-4-yr-old#post-2687634 Thu, 26 Jan 2017 19:01:19 +0000 MrsRoo 2687634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You guys, I'm at a loss right now. DD1 will be 4 in April. I feel like her threenager-ness has been slowly ramping up all year and I'm not sure if any of us are going to make it to 4 with any sanity intact.<br /> She is a perfect angel at school and in public or when someone else is watching her. With just us, the horns come out. She will hit and kick, scream, tell us she hates us, etc at the simplest requests, like: we're getting ready for lunch, please go and potty and wash your hands, cue the willful disobedience. It's not even like a tantrum, she will just flat out say no, and then literally laugh at any attempt to reason, put into time out, and lately we've tried taking toys away- she gets upset for like a minute and then doesn't care. I truly don't know what to do anymore. DH and I were both spanked as kids, but had never even considered it until the past month. I just don't know what to do and am so worried we've somehow created a spoiled rotten mean girl.</p> <p>Here's the short version cry for help: what do you do when nothing works? </p>