https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 02 Jul 2026 14:28:05 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-478457 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:47:41 +0000 .twist. 478457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: oh my gosh, that ... is terrible! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-478304 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:01:35 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 478304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Goodness - that must be hard to see :-( </p> <p>I babysat for a lady who's baby would rock back and forth on his hands and knees, pounding his head into the side of his crib, like a battering ram, to soothe himself to sleep. It was so scary when I saw him do it because the mother never warned me that he would. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-478288 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 14:56:53 +0000 mrs. wagon 478288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@caffeinated: LMW does this too, while she's drinking the bottle! Sometimes she'll grab at the bottle and sometimes she'll hold our fingers like handles around the bottle. If she's scratching and clawing, I try to put her lovey in her hand and that usually helps. </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: forcing the lovey on her has definitely helped!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-475201 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:11:47 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 475201@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yellowbird: Usually by modeling healthy self soothing techniques. So if you are stroking their face, rocking them, presenting them with a soft lovey, they will get the picture that these are the healthy things to do instead of clawing or ripping hair or other mal-adaptive mechanisms. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-475193 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 12:09:29 +0000 Freckles 475193@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We use a lovey too, and she just strokes the tags. I'm glad it's gotten better!</p> <p>When LO is nursing (before bedtime) she is pretty tired so she pulls her hair and scratches inside her ear. I was a little concerned that it was an ear infection (i discovered some scabs as well) but read that it was a self-soothing technique when they're tired. She normally sucks her fingers, but i guess because her mouth already has an object, she doesn't know what to do with her hands! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-475124 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 11:49:28 +0000 yellowbird 475124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: how do you teach a baby to self soothe? Is there a certain thing I can do? Dd hates pacifiers, and does suck on her fists/fingers, but it doesn't really soothe her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-475077 Wed, 02 Jan 2013 11:31:46 +0000 mrs. wagon 475077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just a little update... she's still scratching at her ear (even when not crying or upset) BUT she has started to rub her lovey on her face when she starts crying. It almost always calms her down and she falls back asleep! Sometimes with the lovey across her face... eek. Haha. I can usually hear her breathing on the monitor so I don't worry too much, plus after the first few times she fell asleep like this, I stared at the monitor nervously and every time, she pulled the lovey off her face once she was deeply asleep. Phew. Hopefully this lovey will be her self-soothing mechanism. And if it is (Wagon Jr. used one too) then I am investing money in Angel Dear. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471614 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:47:02 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 471614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: You'll do better with sleep training later if you teach her good self soothing behaviors now. It's more work up front, but pays off in the long run!</p> <p>Best of luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471599 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:36:54 +0000 mrs. wagon 471599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: @zippylef: @stargal: @MerryC: so glad to know I am not alone!! these crazy kids.</p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: thank you so much for this. This is what I have been thinking. I'm so afraid for her to turn 6 months because I think the next real sleep training opportunity will be a while after that, but I'm thinking that she needs to be held or rocked to sleep for a while longer. Thankfully I don't mind that much since she falls asleep pretty quickly (i.e. no rocking for 30 mins at a time at 3am, all I really have to do is hold her in the glider). I think her affinity for the lovey is a good sign, but she's definitely not ready for CIO. Glad to have a pediatrician's opinion!!</p> <p>@MungBean: thank you!! glad to hear that your LO was exactly the same and she grew out of it. Sigh. I guess sleep training will just have to wait. And oh my, that new soothing technique is definitely OUCHIE... hehe. She does also scratch things and she has taken to scratching/pinching my neck skin. Owie!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471583 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:27:43 +0000 pinkcupcake 471583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: my LO did the exact same thing :( the inside of her ears was always scabbed over or bleeding :( like you, I kept her nails as short and dull as possible. Mittens/socks never worked - she always pulled them off. In the end, there wasn't much I could do. She finally stopped around two months ago when she turned eight months. Hopefully your LO will stop quicker than that. </p> <p>Now her new soothing technique - twisting my nipples. OUCH. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471580 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:26:39 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 471580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: I'm so sorry. That must be so disturbing for you. It sounds like she doesn't know how to safely self soothe yet. </p> <p>This may not apply to you (since I haven't seen her), but I often tell parents who have trouble with babies that choose destructive methods of "calming" that those babies aren't yet ready for self-soothing. They may need external methods that model appropriate self-soothing (ie mom). So freaking hard when you have two... and like I said, it may not apply to your situation.</p> <p>I'm wishing you calming baby love! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471578 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:26:14 +0000 twinmama 471578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD used to whip her head back and forth when she would settle after being put in her crib. It gave her a little bald spot. I think it peaked around 3 months, and she doesn't do it now at 5 months. Otherwise my kids are pretty tame. Sorry Wagon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471568 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:20:58 +0000 mrs. wagon 471568@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: we're not really at CIO yet.. it's more like fussing it out. So during the fussing she's crying on and off, and then she'll start clawing at her ears and tugging her hair and it starts to calm her down. </p> <p>I cut her nails super crazy short (I think I cut them every other day at this point!) and file them so they're as smooth and dull as possible, and we totally coat her ears and the skin around them with aquaphor before she goes to bed. We've tried putting mitts and eventually socks on her hands (they stay on better than mitts, and her hands are too big for mitts) but she's figured out how to pull them off even if they're both covered (she bites the tips and pulls them off). She's so big and smart. Ugh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471567 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:20:28 +0000 stargal 471567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>P digs at his head and ears when he is sleeping nd eating... sometimes he causes his ears to bleed . O dunno what to do other then trim their nails. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471553 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:11:51 +0000 loveisstrange 471553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>C used to smack her legs on her mattress really hard when she was falling asleep but she doesn't do it anymore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471549 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:10:29 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 471549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Are you doing CIO?</p> <p>Can you cut her nails really short and put little mittens on her hands? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471531 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:04:53 +0000 Bao 471531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No insight, but LO likes to pull her hair in the back of her head when she is tired. I don't think she does it intentionally because she is putting her hand back there for comfort, but since she is only 4 months old she grabs and pulls sometimes then cries because she doesn't realize she is the one doing it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/disturbing-self-soothing-techniques#post-471525 Sun, 30 Dec 2012 22:02:20 +0000 mrs. wagon 471525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wagon Jr. did great with self-soothing. He took a pacifier beautifully, then dropped it when he found his fingers. Then he sucked on his first two fingers and self-soothed with a lovey for about a year and a half. Then he dropped sucking his fingers on his own and he now has his lovey and 3 other stuffed animals that he sleeps with.</p> <p>LMW is a totally different story. She is soothed by sucking, but doesn't take a pacifier. She gets frustrated and lets it pop out. She likes to chew on toys as well but also gets frustrated and throws them away in anger. She puts her fingers in her mouth, but doesn't really suck them. She seems to like the lovey and snuggles with it. </p> <p>But it seems like her self-soothing techniques are solidifying now, and they are a little scary and sad. She scratches at her ears until they are bleeding. Every morning we find new scabs mostly on and around her ears, and some on her forehead, nose, and chin. She also pulls/tugs at her hair around her ears, and she rocks her head very quickly back and forth and kicks her legs violently.</p> <p>Anyone else's baby have such violent self-soothing techniques? :( Any insight? </p>