https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 14:09:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916366 Fri, 12 Jun 2020 06:54:21 +0000 psw27 2916366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m not divorced but I’m a former divorce attorney. Happy to give you general advice or point you in the right direction for your state. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916337 Thu, 11 Jun 2020 14:39:51 +0000 Portboston 2916337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got divorced last October. </p> <p>I am located in Oregon and we did everything ourselves, no lawyers or mediators. It was extremely amicable. I am happy to answer any questions you might have. If you can avoid attorneys, go through a mediator for help with the paperwork. Attorneys are typically only there to make money and I have heard horror stories of attorneys creating more conflict then was there to begin with. (I also worked as a legal assistant for 2.5 years so I have a little knowledge on how awful they can be!) But they definitely serve a purpose if needed! </p> <p>I was able to do everything online fairly easily but I know some states are a little more complicated. The only benefit of separation vs divorce is if there are a lot of issues to work out separation will afford you the time to do that while being financially separate. Ie if he ran up all his credit cards while separated, you would not be responsible for them. Plus you can remain on the same medical insurance policy and some states mandate a period of separation before you are legally allowed to divorce. </p> <p>I know of a really good facebook group you could join for advice but I think the first step is getting online and seeing what you need to do first. If there is an online portal for your state there may be some documents you can download to help you start talking about what needs to be agreed upon.</p> <p>Feel free to PM me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916175 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 14:55:02 +0000 poppygirl15 2916175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m sorry you’re going through this. Like other have said, a lot depends on whether this will be a relatively amicable split. If not, don’t be scared to hire an aggressive attorney. You want your attorney to be equally matched to his. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916171 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 10:47:43 +0000 LemonJack 2916171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice, but I wanted to say I’m so sorry. This has to be extra difficult with everything going on right now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916169 Thu, 04 Jun 2020 10:28:54 +0000 Shantuck 2916169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don’t have practical advice as I haven’t personally divorced but I do know from law school that separation requirements vary from state to state so you probably want to consult a lawyer to walk you through the steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916125 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 16:54:23 +0000 Ms. RV 2916125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Downandout: Are you guys in agreement about the divorce? That makes things a million times easier. If not, read up on the process in your state because they are all so different. In my state diverting money would not have really done anything but I know in others it does help. Some places the money (and your assets) are joint until you start the legal process, others states are only joint until you decide otherwise.</p> <p>Also know that whatever you are feeling is okay and is allowed to switch at any minute. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916119 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 14:43:39 +0000 MrsSRS 2916119@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: that's really good advice. I've been separated for three years. Still not divorced because he is dealing with the paperwork and so it will be...a while. We used a couples counselor pretty successfully to help us navigate the shift to co-parenting. It was excruciating but useful. So yes. Secure your finances and safety and then think about your co-parenting goals. Also decide what your budget capacity for a lawyer is </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916116 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 14:39:02 +0000 mrskansas 2916116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Divorce is very overwhelming and I'm sorry you're in this position.<br /> First, I would go set up a separate bank account. If you are able, start having your paychecks go into that account. Protect your money in any way possible. Shut off joint credit cards.<br /> A lot of the steps depend on how agreeable you and your husband are going to be throughout the process. My ex-husband and I were very amicable but still hired an attorney to save us the hassle. It's obviously a very personal situation.</p> <p>I've been separated for over a year now and divorced for six months so if you need more advice (which I definitely have!) or just someone to talk to, PM me and we can email/text or whatever you're comfortable with. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916115 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 14:28:20 +0000 MrsSRS 2916115@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you aren't using a lawyer you can download the necessary paperwork at your states .gov website. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916111 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 13:27:25 +0000 Littlebit7 2916111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I’m so sorry. I haven’t done this, but my sister has. She didn’t have kids in the equation. I used my college network to reach out to a friend who is a lawyer and she referred me to three family law lawyers. My sis had a call with each, picked one. Do you think it will be a smooth split or do you think your husband will have issues over assets etc? In that vein, do you have a lot of assets? There are some legal bees on here who might be able to chime in for ways to protect yourself financially right now if you think your spouse might go rouge with spending (my sisters ex did). She started by having her paychecks diverted to her own personal checking account. Make sure all of the bills are still being paid (even if your spouse says he will take care of it). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916103 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 11:03:29 +0000 bees_knees 2916103@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Downandout: Also no advice, but sorry you are hurting. Take it one step at a time. Thinking of you ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916102 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 11:01:37 +0000 Mrs. Pajamas 2916102@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So sorry to read this. I didn't want to call out any names, but there have been a few recent posts about mamas on here going through divorce. Just search for "divorce" and you can maybe wall those members that have posted? Good luck and many hugs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916101 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 10:54:50 +0000 LAZB 2916101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Downandout: I don't have advice, but I'm sorry you're going through a hard time </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/divorce-need-help#post-2916098 Wed, 03 Jun 2020 10:23:24 +0000 Downandout 2916098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hello, I am on an anon account right now because I am not ready to be public about this. If anyone wants to verify me, please let me know and I will be happy to do so. I've been a member here for almost 8 years.</p> <p>I need to talk to someone who has recently divorced or is separated. Long story short, but my husband and I are going to divorce, but I don't even know what steps to take to get this going and to get it done. I read last night about a legal separation and that seems like the best route, but I am honestly feeling pretty overwhelmed and lost. If anyone on here could give me some advice on what to do, I would be incredibly appreciative. </p>