https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 24 Apr 2026 23:12:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448489 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 09:37:06 +0000 Andrea 448489@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: I think it does hurt us more than them right now since they are still young. :-(</p> <p>@NYCaliMama: Wow, DD loves playing with the boys more now. I hope that doesn't change. At our daycare, the 3s and 4s are in the same preschool class so there can be a large age gap between the youngest and the oldest. Should be interesting .... </p> <p>@artbee: Yes, boys are mainly just happy-go-lucky! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448382 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 08:00:41 +0000 heffalump 448382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We camp with kids ages 4-7 (well younger but the younger ones like my LO don't really play with the kids) and they are such mean girls. They spend the entire time fighting with each other. And the parents answer when their child is the one being left out...... go play with the boys, they'll be nice to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448292 Fri, 14 Dec 2012 00:48:12 +0000 SAHM0811 448292@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah DD 1 went though that last year when she was in her 3's. I remember in her 2's class, everyone was friends with everyone... boys and girls too, it didn't matter. But when they all turned 3, dynamics started to change. Girls didn't want to play with boys, and certain girls only played with certain girls. I had to hear everyday who was BFFs with who and the cliques changed all the time, but they also tended to stick with the same BFFs, if that makes sense. I made a lot of 1:1 play dates with her after school and that seemed to help with her confidence and social skills as far as developing a deep friendship with a peer or two. One regular play date was with a boy too because 1) I liked the boy's personality and his mom and I got along and 2) I wanted to keep the "boys are yucky" sentiment to a minimum as much as I could. </p> <p>The good news is, in her 4's class now (pre-K), cliques aren't much of a problem. However, she is in a class of just 10 kids, so maybe a smaller class just means everyone is more likely to get along with each other? There's still some gender division going on, but it's not that bad. And the girls aren't as catty... they all have fun together for the most part. It could just be we lucked out with a good group too. </p> <p>Anyway, glad your DD wasn't phased by it too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448234 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:23:19 +0000 prettylizy 448234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This makes me so sad :( Exclusion like that can be so very mean. One more thing to watch out for I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448230 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:18:55 +0000 HLK208 448230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes!! I just realized this the other day at pick-up, DS came up to me and said hi, while the other boys were playing together and a few of them hold hands, only play on the swings, only color together...it made me so sad that B wasn't included :( ugh it hurt me more than him, I think. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448198 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 21:48:48 +0000 T-Mom 448198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: ok I will... Thanks for the feedback! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448143 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:41:32 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 448143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not at all. Lala said she wa "fat" the other day which is very concerning and the whole school rallied to figure out where she got that from. They scrutinized every song they sin and book they read. We think it might have been a Christmas song (fat jolly snowman)... But the teachers take any violation of Montessori principals very seriously!</p> <p>I would talk to her teachers sooner rather than later if I were you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448095 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:19:09 +0000 T-Mom 448095@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: it's interesting. DD also attends a Montessori school..For the most part it is as you say and everyone is inclusive. I think her teachers probably police their conversations but I have heard it once or twice. If I hear it again or<br /> If she comes home talking about it again, I will probably say something to the teacher. Do you think that is<br /> Helicopter of me? I dunno .. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448087 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:14:07 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 448087@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter's school is great about making sure that doesn't start. In Montessori, everyone is referred to as "friend" and exclusion is not allowed. It's part of the reason we picked Montessori. We just got the school newsletter today and it emphasized cooperation in the preschool/kindergarten age groups. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448075 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:06:27 +0000 T-Mom 448075@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: I don't know if it's really affected her a lot. I think she just ignores it. Even her BFF said it to her so i guess it's just what they do. But i know what you mean. I hope she's not also saying stuff like that...<br /> I can't believe what those girls said to your Dd! How mean. I hate girls sometimes. They just tear each other down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448050 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:55:22 +0000 Andrea 448050@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: she didn't care but I was depressed for her. I feel better now, a few hours later!</p> <p>@T-Mom: aw man, has your DD been affected by it? It makes me wonder if DD is going to be a mean girl herself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-448011 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:35:34 +0000 T-Mom 448011@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes!! I have heard girls say mean things in DD's class (3-5yr old). Mainly from the 5yr olds. I have no idea where it is coming from. It was along the lines with "so and so..I'm not your friend any more" (in taunting voice). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447923 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:48:47 +0000 Andrea 447923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mjane: I definitely will once she moves over! It was just a special treat for her today. They said she was having a rough afternoon so they let her visit the preschool room to distract her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447915 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:44:18 +0000 mjane 447915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I used to teach preschool (3/4's). But teachers should really step with this kind of behavior to stop it and discuss it--it makes a huge difference and moments like those are super teachable. I know it's probably hard to approach the teacher about it as the mama (I dread being on this side of the equation), but consider saying something, maybe in passing, very breezily, to the director or something? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447913 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:41:47 +0000 Andrea 447913@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Ok so I'm not making this stuff up? I was only in there for 10 minutes but it was SO obvious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447909 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:38:41 +0000 banana 447909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin is a preschool/kindergarten teacher and she says she sees this ALL the time. She said it's mainly the girls though. They can be cliquey and catty. And they're only 4/5! She said the boys aren't really like that. They're alot more independent and active and into toys/active play. She said the girls (especially in kinder) can be so mean at times. sigh. I guess I'll have to teach my DD to have thick skin...in preschool! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447908 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:37:25 +0000 autumnlove 447908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it started in kindergarten for me but kids are advanced these days! Poor LO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-cliques-and-mean-behavior-start-in-preschool#post-447903 Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:33:40 +0000 Andrea 447903@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I got to daycare tonight, DD was visiting the preschool room (she is still in toddlers). She was, of course, beyond thrilled to be with the older kids. However, seeing what was going on made me super sad. The girls were grouped together all clique-like in the dress up area of the classroom. They kept trying to take toys away from DD and telling on her to the teacher - saying that she shouldn't be touching the toys. DD was having too much fun and was oblivious. She just moved on to another toy. </p> <p>Btw, all of the boys were playing games on the computer so there was an interesting gender division going on, too. </p> <p>This dynamic is soooooo different than the toddler group.</p> <p>Anyway, it bothered me that they were being so "mean girls" to DD, but I guess I better get ready for stuff like this since she'll be moving over sometime next year. Ack! </p>