https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 01 May 2026 18:14:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2108739 Sat, 14 Mar 2015 16:49:56 +0000 Ocean girl 2108739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened to me a fair bit. The strangest time was in a coffee shop when a man (stranger) about 60 years old asked me if I breastfed my daughter. She was about 8 months at the time. I was inclined to ask him what he would've said if I had replied no after he praised me for BFing. </p> <p>It's no one's business but yours how you feed your child, especially not strangers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2108737 Sat, 14 Mar 2015 16:46:38 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2108737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think there is a difference in being open about breastfeeding among family/friends but I feel like it is a loaded question since people tend to be very opinionated. I haven't even given birth yet and both my BIL and step mom asked me if I planned to breastfeed on the day I announced I was pregnant. I told them that I hope to but honestly it made me feel pressured from the start. My own mother wasn't able to so I know that it might not be up to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2108255 Sat, 14 Mar 2015 08:03:13 +0000 blackbird 2108255@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Charm54: gah that would make me so upset! I had a random lady ask me in the bathroom once, totally out of the blue, while I was washing my hands. So weird</p> <p>Maybe this is one of tbose things that feels more weird if your experience is complicated, because I know mine was, and I wasn't about to delve into the whole "my child was in the nicu, wouldnt latch, EPing sucked" etc whole story shebang with people </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2108149 Sat, 14 Mar 2015 01:48:18 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2108149@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I can't believe so many people get asked this!<br /> I can't recall a single time where I've been asked! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107819 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 18:52:48 +0000 Charm54 2107819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes lots in the early months...most times it was just general curiosity asked with other baby related questions (is she STTN, is she smiling, etc). I didn't mind in that case at all.</p> <p>One time though, a random lady came up to me in the grocery store and asked "Are you breastfeeding?? .... There's only one right answer to that question!!" I didn't feel like going into our complex EPing/supplementing story so I slightly smiled and nodded and tried to move on. She then pushed me : "that's FANTASTIC! How long are you planning on BFing for?" .... I was stunned and just stood there.... She jumped in with "I should hope at least a year....if not beyond....you know that's why they give you a year maternity leave!"</p> <p>I was so stunned and offended. I honestly just pushed my cart away without saying a word....paid for my formula (LOL) and broke into tears in the parking lot.</p> <p>I don't think I would let that scenario affect me so much now though, or with LO 2. I would give an education in formula feeding instead of being embarrassed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107808 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 18:44:17 +0000 Grace 2107808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@keepcalmcarrie: I don't know. I guess in my situation, I went from no strangers talking to me (I think I have a stay-away-from-me face) to everyone wanting to talk to me about LO. So I just consider asking about nursing as part of the package. In all honesty, I think they are desperately thinking of things to talk about so I don't leave the area and take the baby with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107537 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 13:37:38 +0000 catlady 2107537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When LO was younger, people would occasionally ask and say nice things when I told them I was. Now that she's past 12 months, most people just assume I am not anymore so no one says anything (I still am though). After reading this thread, I feel lucky to have had mostly positive interactions! </p> <p>The most "judge-y" comments were mostly from family who wanted me to get off my elimination diet and give LO special formula when LO still had MSPI and other food issues. But I know they were mostly just concerned for both me and LO, so I'm not upset about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107531 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 13:32:15 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2107531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsjets: No, not at all, I just started thinking more about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107501 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 13:17:18 +0000 Mrsjets 2107501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@keepcalmcarrie: I hope I didn't offend you, or anyone, I just didn't feel weird about this specific topic of conversation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107426 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 12:34:04 +0000 miramira 2107426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't really been asked this. I visited work today and a female colleague did actually ask but I've talked about pregnancy and birth with her before, so it didn't seem strange or invasive.</p> <p>I get more annoyed when people ask why I don't just take bottles with me when we go out. It makes me feel defensive but I realise that people don't tend to know much about breastfeeding unless they or their partner have done it, or a close friend/relative. I sure knew nothing before I became pregnant! Sorry, off on a tangent... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107296 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 10:35:08 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2107296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travellingbee: and others - you've made me think more about this, and I guess I was projecting my own feelings about this husband's best friend's aunt and my neighbor - who, it's true, aren't total strangers - on to people in general who ask this question.</p> <p>I still think it's a little personal for casual conversation, but that's just me. But it doesn't mean those who ask it are all judgy. Just these two women I was thinking of when I wrote my initial comments :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107279 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 10:13:18 +0000 Anagram 2107279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: oh yeah, that's awkward. Good for you for persevering! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107269 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 10:04:57 +0000 MenagerieMama 2107269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: yeah my problem is I don't actually get breaks so all my patients have to sit and wait for me (I work in urgent care) so I let my staff know so they know why my patients arent being seen and so they don't give me anyone super urgent. I also am supervising PAs and have to sign off on their meds so the nurse usually has to come in and get my signature while I pump. Thank goodness for my cover! It's a hassle. I basically have to announce to the whole clinic when I take my break! No privacy. I'm also the only mom of a baby (we have 2 other moms a month before and after my LO) who is "still" pumping so I'm a novelty I guess. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107248 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:55:14 +0000 autumn865 2107248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I get asked occasionally by strangers (usually elderly women) but I don't mind. The question is typically followed by a story about their kids not judgement. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107229 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:45:55 +0000 Mama Bird 2107229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All the time when DS was a baby. It was totally random people too. I was weirded out at first, but when I asked people why they want to know it turned out they have young kids or grandkids and are also in that stage. I remember being a new mom with no one to answer my questions, so I tried not to mind too much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107224 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:43:20 +0000 Anagram 2107224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MenagerieMama: It was hard to avoid because the only fridge is in the teacher's lounge, so when I would have to go in there to put my bottles up (in an insulated bag of course!) the questions would stary....still pumping? How old is she now?</p> <p>STFU. I think people were genuinely curious because no other teacher has pumped in recent years and we've had a loooottt of pregnancies. Most teachers can't get the time to pump if their conference period and schedule don't line up with pump times. I'm the school librarian and have a little more flexibility with the schedule, so I could make it work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107221 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:42:18 +0000 travellingbee 2107221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Man. Lots of typos there. Stupid talk to text. My point is, yes I would think it was weird if a stranger walked up and asked me anything other than the time! But with acquaintances or friends or family I would be happy to talk about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf/page/2#post-2107219 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:39:51 +0000 travellingbee 2107219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@keepcalmcarrie: if a stranger I didn't Know walked up to me and ask me any question about myself for my child I think I would be weirded out. But if it came up in conversation with someone I just met with talking to your friends close or otherwise, our family, I wouldn't think it was strange at all. I'm sure Ive asked coworkers etc. not judging. Just curious. In the same way I might ask them if they are vegetarian. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107207 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:31:55 +0000 keepcalmcarrie 2107207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsjets: @travellingbee: @Grace: I guess I just don't understand why strangers would be curious about this? Family, friends, even casual acquaintances - okay, that's fine. I welcome it, even, because we had serious health issues before my milk came in that resulted in a NICU stay, and I don't think that issue is addressed often enough in breastfeeding education.</p> <p>But I wouldn't ask someone I barely knew if they were cloth diapering, if they got an epidural, if they circumcised their son, etc. All are perfectly reasonable choices, but I don't think they are questions you would ask strangers out of the blue unless, as @blackbird: mentioned, they wanted to congratulate you (and often themselves) on making the "right" choice, or judge you openly or quietly for being "wrong." I find that attitude gross. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107196 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:22:46 +0000 MenagerieMama 2107196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: yes! Everyone seems mystified that I am still pumping. The comments started around 4 mo and LO is 5.5 mo now... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107194 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:21:29 +0000 Tanjowen 2107194@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Allllllll the time up to a year. He's 15 months now and I still get asked occasionally if I did breastfeed. It's been a mix of judgy comments, curiosity, and questions about his sleep. I hated (and still hate) talking about it with anyone except close friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107188 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 09:16:58 +0000 Anagram 2107188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone at work asked, constantly. 'Are you still pumping?", "You're STILL pumping?!" "When are you going to stop pumping?" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107132 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 08:39:35 +0000 Peasinapod 2107132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think ppl are just curious, or maybe looking for support? I was the first on my husbands side of the family to bf and his whole extended family seemed quite interested in talking about it! I didn't take offence, but they also weren't being negative about my choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107130 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 08:39:19 +0000 LuLu Mom 2107130@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Family (not necessarily close family, LO was born in October so we had Thanskgiving/Christmas) and they would make comments. Come Christmas we had switched to FF and they would be like "oh well that's okay if you do formula..." all judgy...Thanks I KNOW it's okay to use formula, it's what's best for my baby and me, I don't need your approval. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107041 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 07:34:46 +0000 winniebee 2107041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The wife of my husbands work partner not only asked me if I was BF but whether I was EBF! She's a total hippie but come on?! I've met her two times! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107038 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 07:32:45 +0000 Mrsjets 2107038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Grace: @travellingbee: I feel the same way. I was asked with both when they were little, I didn't think it was a secret I needed to keep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107009 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 07:03:20 +0000 edelweiss 2107009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>no, i don't remember being asked by anyone, not even friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107008 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 07:01:04 +0000 shellio 2107008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nobody ever asked me but I know some of my friends complained about getting asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2107001 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 06:49:22 +0000 Cole 2107001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been asked a few times but it has been in context like the lady at the baby store who was helping me pick a pacifier or a new acquaintance I was griping to about my baby's gassy belly. No one random thankfully! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ask-if-you-are-bf#post-2106999 Fri, 13 Mar 2015 06:44:56 +0000 blackbird 2106999@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I found that people either asked because they wanted to 1) applaud you (and sometimes bash the other "side") or 2) demonize you (cough, my ex chiropractor, cough). Which, neither really sit well in my opinion. But some people are just generally "oh cool, me too", insert rainbowy bonding moment. </p>