https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 15 Apr 2026 02:27:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1557243 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 17:14:52 +0000 Applesandbananas 1557243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@autumnlove: I think if it was approached differently, I wouldn't be so annoyed. If they were like "oh, let me take LO for a walk or to do Xyz!" I'd feel differently, but it's literally "Go away, he's only screaming because you're here!" Or they'll address LO and tell him to ignore me, and he doesn't, he just screams more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1557012 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 15:21:10 +0000 autumnlove 1557012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, but I don't mind! :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556979 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 15:10:01 +0000 Applesandbananas 1556979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@kiddosc: @MadamBabyFever: Thank you for a different perspective. I think it's important for LO to build those relationships and didn't really consider that I could be an impediment. I was just seeing the situation as "geez, I'm being exiled, you don't want me, you just want my kid!" Maybe I should, at least with my mom, arrange for them to have one-on-one time. </p> <p>If it's not my mom or another important family member, I think being upfront might be the best approach. While my mom is certainly a frequent offender, it's random party-goers and casual acquaintances also, but I don't think building a relationship applies to them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556539 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 13:26:44 +0000 mrsrain 1556539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be honest with them-- "I look forward to the weekends when I can spend quality time with my child. I am not going to leave the room when he gets clingy. It is just a phase, and I am going to enjoy it while it lasts!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556525 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 13:20:53 +0000 MadamBabyFever 1556525@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm one of those people who want parents to leave, kind of. I'd never tell SIL or BIL to leave the room, but because my nephew has a very strong preference for his daddy and the other males in the family I make sure to schedule some one-on-one time with him when we visit, I'll take him out for a walk or to the playground. Or if we're out for a meal I'll go off with him for a wander so SIL and BIL can have some adult time and enjoy their meal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556482 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 13:08:20 +0000 kiddosc 1556482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I do the same. </p> <p>I want LO to have a relationship with other family members, and the simple fact is that it's easier for him to warm up to someone if I'm not standing right there. Usually I leave the room for about 5 minutes and by the time I come back, he's warmed up and is happy to continue to interact with several people in the room, rather than just me. I don't think 5 minutes away from him is a big deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556382 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 12:37:04 +0000 NurseMommy 1556382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I feel you. No suggestions, but my mom does this too. And my sister. It got so bad that I just told them "too bad, she's my daughter, and I get to parent her the way I want. Please stop trying to make me feel bad." It helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556328 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 12:16:51 +0000 skipra 1556328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When LO was a newborn we visited the IL's and they tried to insist we leave him with them and go somewhere. They had recently moved so we knew nothing about the area and had no reason to leave. We just said no but that we could all go home if they wanted us to leave and we did go shortly after. They've never suggested that again. I think they thought they were being nice but it just struck us as weird. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556321 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 12:11:25 +0000 looch 1556321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I happily oblige, but I know, I am strange in that regard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556316 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 12:08:39 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1556316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: I really don't know. We kind of have the same problem. It's not that he has a mommy's pref, it is more like, they want to be able to have 1 on 1 time with him. My MIL ALWAYS asks me to bring him over (without me). Even when I am there, she will just like take him upstairs for a bath, or take him into the play room and read to him. All very nice, and I am not offended, but it does get annoying when they all want alone time with LO and it feels like you're chopped liver;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1556256 Wed, 09 Apr 2014 11:43:32 +0000 Applesandbananas 1556256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: @deerylou: unfortunately, the worst offender was my mother, who knows LO has been super clingy and at one point, she took him, screaming, into another room. I, of course, followed and took LO from her and calmed him down. I've cracked the silly jokes about being chopped liver but she doesn't care. </p> <p>I like the idea of being upfront, though my luck will be that LO is a total ham that day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1553986 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 12:53:35 +0000 deerylou 1553986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are going through a similar phase, and it's been especially intense, recently. Our kiddo has always been a social, outgoing ham, so this is new. I've had some family make comments about some of our parenting decisions (bed sharing, baby wearing) influencing her attachment. Of course, I know this is a normal stage in development, so I brush these comments off, politely.</p> <p>Personally, I've decided to consistently respond to her reaching/crying for me, if I'm able. I've already gotten comments like, "if you leave the room, she'll eventually forget you're here." However, I'm not going to run and hide at social functions and I don't feel burdened if I have to hold her while snacking or chatting. I think this just comes down to other family members wanting to be the "favorite". It's interesting that it's offensive for a child's mother to be his/her preference, but some people do get bummed about it. I've already spoken to my husband about my intentions to calm our daughter's separation woes when we're visiting with friends or family, so he serves as a good support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1553886 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 12:34:17 +0000 wonderstruck 1553886@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We dealt with a bit of this - I'm not rude, but I also don't put up with stuff like this. I will tell people right when we get there and they're greeting us and wanting to see my son that LO has been a bit clingy lately, he's going through a normal phase, and that if they want to play with him it's best for me to be holding him at first while they interact with him.</p> <p>I've never had anyone tell me to leave the room though! Depending on how pushy the person saying it was, my response would probably range from jokingly/sarcastically saying, "Wow, I was looking forward to visiting with you guys, but I'm just chopped liver compared to LO, huh?" and if they didn't cut it out I'd probably add, "Hey, it really does kind of bug me when people try to get me to go away so they can interact with LO. I don't get very much time with him or you either, and he is going through a totally normal stage where he looks to me for reassurance - please respect that." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-people-ever-want-you-to-leave-when-they-have-lo#post-1553860 Tue, 08 Apr 2014 12:27:59 +0000 Applesandbananas 1553860@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO is good-natured and social but has a huuuuuge mommy preference. If I'm in the room, he wants to be held or be able to see me. I was with family and friends last weekend and they kept telling me to leave the room so they could interact with LO. </p> <p>I WOH and treasure weekends and I enjoy spending time with family and friends but I'm really irked that they kept trying to banish me. It's happened a few times before but this weekend, I feel like it was excessive and crossing over from joking to serious. It's just a phase LO is going through and even though my family and friends don't see him often, they also don't see ME often either. </p> <p>WWYD? I just kind of laughed the first couple of times and played along but like I said, it got excessive. We're planning another get-together soon so I'm hoping for some advice on how to handle this! </p>