https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 00:16:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership/page/2#post-2771732 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 16:58:12 +0000 youboots 2771732@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Agreed.</p> <p>Or properly stored poisons like bleach or detergent. Or child proofing in general.</p> <p>My Mom said my sister in pre k handed her a handful of nails.... that she had got by going out her window onto the roof. WTF, Mom? Anyways I'm more worried about good age appropriate supervision.</p> <p>Another thought- it's no secret we have guns but I've never had anyone ask me about how we secure them. FYI In a safe with the key to the large safe in a keypad protected smaller safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership/page/2#post-2771715 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 16:00:42 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2771715@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LulaBee: The reason I don't disclose to just anyone isn't because I'm offended. Yes I do think people wondering off while at our house or breaking in is a possibility if we give away too much information even though we don't have some crazy amount of guns- not necessarily from the parent themselves but parents gossip. I also just don't feel like people are entitled to know where anything in my house is, unless I know them well enough. Chances are if their kid can come over so can they, so they could see what their child would see, but beyond saying "yeah we store them safely" (and who is going to say they don't anyway?) I just don't feel compelled to talk about the details. That goes for a lot of questions though. I would if I were someone's paid child care, but for a few hours over? Nah. I don't really foresee having many play dates with kids whose parents I don't know from pre-play date though!</p> <p>ETA- I don't want this to sound guns vs anti guns either. It's not. If anything I'd say that as someone whose had to research gun safes.. I'm probably more "snobby" (for lack of better word!) about what I consider acceptable than most, aside from those who just say no to any family willing to admit they have a gun. I just don't see what good comes from this conversation for me personally, either as the asker or the person being asked. There's either a level of comfort there or not. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership/page/2#post-2771696 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 14:19:22 +0000 Mrs D 2771696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live in an area that is probably 50/50 on gun ownership.</p> <p>I would say if I am willing to let my child go play at their house without me I have some level of faith in the people as parents and would trust their judgement. No need for a checklist/q&amp;a session of that level before I let my children play there. Chances are I have been in the home myself or know the parents well enough.</p> <p>That said - I also like to be friendly with my kids friends and their parents - so I'd also hope that if I did ever engage in a discussion about it (for whatever reason) they would be open and we could have a discussion about it. With no implied judgement on their choices.</p> <p>We will teach gun safety and awareness to our girls - which will absolutely include letting a parent know if they ever see a gun. I would have no problem having a discussion with a parent if my girls came home and said they saw a gun at so and so's house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771695 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 14:19:19 +0000 gotkimchi 2771695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: I agree because even so many people here say I would never let my kids over there even if the guns are properly stored. So it does give the impression you're looking down on that or saying you don't like their decisions/parenting. </p> <p>@agold: I agree with this 100% I have been following this thread but couldn't articulate my thought but this is exactly it. I live in a place where guns (hunting) are normal and I'm just as concerned with guns as I am with all the other dangers surrounding us including low vaccination rates, drunk driving, police violence, random acts of terror etc. it's a miracle we leave the house </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771692 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 14:12:35 +0000 agold 2771692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just as concerned about haphazardly stored guns as I am about pedophiles, drugs and overall parental negligence. How do you ask a parent if their guns are stored properly; if anyone in their home or access to it is a pedophile; if the parents are on drugs, prescription or otherwise; if there are drugs lying around; and what kinds of things do the parents or older kids talk about around the little kids? Ha! Safe to say my daughter will likely not be going on many play dates. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771687 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 13:58:51 +0000 alphagam84 2771687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We will absolutely ask people if they have a gun in their home and how it is stored before playing somewhere new. It is too big of an issue to not ask the question, no matter how uncomfortable of a topic it is. I would just say "this is a weird question, but do you have guns in the house" then depending on the answer, I'd ask follow up questions. If they won't answer or the answers don't satisfy me, my daughter wouldn't be playing over there. It's too big of a risk in my opinion! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771654 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 12:49:07 +0000 codeitall 2771654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As a kid, I never knew that we had a gun in the house (an old rifle hidden in my Dad's closet that he never used or even maintained as far as I know). I don't like the idea of guns in my house. We aren't hunters and pretending I'd know how to use a gun in self-defense is just stupid. Buuuuut, DH expressed interest in my ex-army FIL's old rifles and next thing I know, they are chilling (in pieces, they don't work at all) in the top of my closet.</p> <p>So I can see why some people feel the need to ask. Just because you know one parent well, doesn't mean you know the other.</p> <p>I plan on discussing gun safety at the same level as the sexual abuse stuff. Depressing, but necessary. I'll never be able to judge another couple and how they keep their home perfectly. Best I can do is train my children to be intelligent.</p> <p>@LulaBee: I think it is less about someone stealing and more about the implied 'you have guns in your house, so it isn't safe for kids' type thing. It can easily be perceived as a slight on them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771629 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 11:59:04 +0000 kiddosc 2771629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I don't really care if people ask, no one ever has, but I know that some of our friends know we have guns in the house. If they want to see how they're stored, I'd be happy to show them. We don't disclose that we have guns unsolicited though, so I would never announce to guests. I think that only creates more chance of something occurring... if people go looking for them, or try to steal them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771589 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 09:18:14 +0000 avivoca 2771589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not comfortable with guns. My husband is. We do not have guns in our house, but my inlaws do. I do ask them to keep the guns up/away with the ammo in a separate location and to not get them out around my children. We plan to discuss gun safety with them instead of avoidance, but I also will ask friends if they have guns in the home and if they are secured. I don't care if it offends anyone, because my job is to keep my children safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771585 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 08:49:41 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2771585@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also think this links back to the thread about visiting the home of a friend before dropping your kids off to play. I would like to go inside the home to make sure things appear to be in order. </p> <p>I do worry though even at FIL/MIL house. Even though most of their guns are for hunting/shooting, they do have a hand gun I believe. Unfortunately I worry they would say something like "Oh yes, its put away" but really the key would be in the key hole of the gun safe or key just sitting on top of the safe. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771574 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 07:51:15 +0000 LuLu Mom 2771574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Honestly in the area we live in, I would find it so odd if someone asked about owning a gun. I could maybe see if someone asked us about owning a handgun and if it was locked/put away/etc. But if someone just asked us "are your guns locked away" I would answer honestly and say yes, we have a gun safe and the children do not have access to it or the amno. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771572 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 07:46:50 +0000 LuLu Mom 2771572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: Our firearms are for hunting (shotguns/rifles), they are not handguns. In the case of an intruder we would be in the same boat as any non-gun owning member and would have to use other tactics I guess as our guns are in the basement which would do us no good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771567 Tue, 05 Sep 2017 07:40:47 +0000 LulaBee 2771567@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm super anti-gun and will for sure ask. If they have guns my kids will not go to the house.</p> <p>I'm curious about the parents who would be offended by this question- do you really think other parents asking for the safety of their kids would want to come steal your guns? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771522 Mon, 04 Sep 2017 19:10:26 +0000 Anagram 2771522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't even trust people to answer honestly, I'm too jaded. I had an acquaintance whose husband was military confide in me that her husband had an ongoing issue with the safety of his weapons. Like he would come home and drop it on the kitchen table and then go outside to do yard work. And they had two under 5.</p> <p>They had fight after fight about this. But the thing that really just galled me is that BOTH OF THEM (not just him) were all rah-rah guns on FB, and were always posting about how they teach their kids gun safety, and "it's not guns that kill people, it's people that kill people". Meanwhile, they were lucky their kids hadn't killed themselves yet. </p> <p>It made me ill and now I don't really trust anyone. As far as what I do, my kids are too young but I guess at some point I will have to treat this like sex Ed and have many many dicussions about what to do if a friend finds/has a gun. Terrible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771484 Mon, 04 Sep 2017 12:32:49 +0000 Mrsbells 2771484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Alba4: I dont ask about it. I dont think theres a polite way to ask that. But it is something I do worry about. So far DD never goes to playdate without me and I intend to keep it that way.<br /> I like to hope that the people DD will play with have parents that would be responsible gun owners. But you never know </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771409 Sun, 03 Sep 2017 12:52:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2771409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the first the gun owners, how would you want someone to ask about it?</p> <p>My family and I attended a party. The homeowner asked one of the guests to check out his gun with him. I immediately freaked out in my head. Should hosts disclose they have guns when they extend an invite? Should guests ask? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771403 Sun, 03 Sep 2017 10:52:54 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2771403@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ShootingStar: that's what I was thinking. Who would be honest who doesn't think it's important around their own kids! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771400 Sun, 03 Sep 2017 08:31:26 +0000 ShootingStar 2771400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: I have the same thoughts about hand guns. I had friends that lived in a not great part of Boston and the husband wanted a gun for protection and talked about keeping the ammo separate for safety and I asked him the same thing. He didn't really have an answer and never got a gun. </p> <p>So I'm very anti-gun. I do not believe that it makes sense for people in the large majority of cases to have access to hand guns. I think the chance of needing it to fight off an intruder must be minuscule. But if a family has a gun and locks things up appropriately I'm fine with it. But how do you ask if someone's an irresponsible gun owner? If I ask "Hey do you leave guns around where kids can get to them?" It's seriously insulting and who's going to say yes? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771365 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 16:52:34 +0000 youboots 2771365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: our guns are primarily used (or were used for target shooting and hunting but I think they have been used 1-2x since we moved and dropped out of our gun club) so not for the purpose of intruders. If our alarm went off the police respond in a minute- literally 7 blocks away. Plus we have an alarm sign and 2 dogs that are outside a fair amount. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771360 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 15:11:43 +0000 littlejoy 2771360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: In our case, our gun is kept in a secure case with ammo alongside it. Since we have a lock on the case, and on the trigger, our LO wouldn't be able to load or shoot it (plus, it's a shotgun, and she wouldn't be able to lift it). Ours is partly for home protection, but I'll be honest in saying I doubt I would be able to load it in time (let alone open the case). My husband could. I think about this from time to time and wonder why we even have it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771358 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 14:03:59 +0000 Eko 2771358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We own guns and it's hit or miss with people around us having them. I have no issues with other people owning guns. If my kid is being dropped off at someone elses house I would assume that we would trust them.. whether or not they had guns. Wouldn't bother me if people asked me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771338 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 10:07:15 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2771338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: that doesn't sound hypocritical to me in the slightest! Sounds totally reasonable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771329 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 07:36:55 +0000 looch 2771329@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I feel like I am a bit of a hypocrite....my husband and I do not have any firearms in our home, but my son spends a great deal of time with my parents, and my father owns several hunting rifles that are kept in a locked safe in the basement. I trust my dad (at the moment, he has all his marbles) not to do any kind of maintenance or anything with the guns while my son is in the house. I am monitoring the situation in case it changes, but for now I am okay with this.</p> <p>As for asking about ownership, I haven't yet done it, because I haven't left my son at anyone's home yet. I fully intend to ask, and if someone discloses it, I will have to decide what to do. I think the main problem I have is that people around here don't have hunting rifles, they have handguns, and that is what worries me the most, because if they are truly being used for protection, it means people have them loaded and accessible. I've read those stories about moms keeping them loaded in handbags around kids and it scares the daylights out of me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771328 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 07:21:07 +0000 periwinklebee 2771328@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Where I live now gun ownership is rare. Growing up, though, many people owned them. It was a cause for concern because not everyone stores them safely, and there were several instances of fatal accidents. While you can teach your own kids about safety, if someone doesn't safely store their guns, they may not do a good job of teaching their own kids about safety. I think you have to trust your instincts, usually if people don't store their guns safely, there will be other reasons why you don't want your kids playing at their house that may be more immediately observable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771327 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 07:14:14 +0000 Silva 2771327@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: we don't keep guns to shoot people with. in the event of a home intruder I guess we would behave as though we didn't have guns in the house (call the police, hide, try to run, whatever). our guns are for hunting (my husband occasionally hunts during deer season), or shooting pests (groundhogs do serious damage around here). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771326 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 04:53:31 +0000 DesertDreams88 2771326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ScarletBegonia: exactly my issue / question. I think several of my friends my store them locked but loaded, or vice versa. My BIL had a fingerprint safe whi,ch was like a holster bolted to the wall. When he pressed his finger to it, it was drop out, loaded and ready. Kind of crazy to me that something like that exists! Buy then again that seems like the sensible way if it truly is for self defense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771323 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 01:51:42 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2771323@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah no comment on asking about people owning guns - I grew up in Canada and live in Australia now so no one (save for people who live in the country) owns or at least talks about owning guns. </p> <p>I have a question for the responsible gun owners who have their guns locked up unloaded with bullets in a different location...what is the game plan if an intruder comes in? I'm curious and don't know anyone who has a gun. Do you run through scenarios? What is the point in having a gun to protect against an intruder if it would take a minute or several minutes to unlock it, load it, and fire it? Or do most people have guns for hobby purposes like target practice, not for self defence?</p> <p>I apologise if I'm threadjacking, and I'm not meaning any offence with this question! Just something I've always been curious about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771322 Sat, 02 Sep 2017 01:31:23 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2771322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so wild to me and something that never crosses my mind...living in Canada. I did have/do have some friends who I know had guns in their home somewhere, but that's because they are hunters and live on a farm. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771314 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 22:06:58 +0000 ALV91711 2771314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: This exactly. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a parent asking this question to us as people don't need to know if we do/don't have guns or where they are. People know that we do as DH hunts but they don't need the specifics. </p> <p>DH has been teaching DS about guns and gun safety and will continue with this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-about-gun-ownership#post-2771291 Fri, 01 Sep 2017 19:33:23 +0000 wrkbrk 2771291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@emilye519: Same. </p>