https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 19 Apr 2026 05:34:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-390082 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 21:02:52 +0000 glimmersnaps 390082@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How interesting! I never even thought to ask. I try to be discrete if there are older kids around. If a dude is there, I'd go in a different room but around another woman I wouldn't hesitate. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389849 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 18:05:31 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 389849@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: same.<br /> This thread is irrelevant to me because I leave the room for MY comfort, not theirs. I only nurse bare breasted in feont of DH. I hate bfing in front of people even with a cover! (aside from MIL &amp; my own mom). I ask to be excused &amp; everyones reaction &amp; everything has been smooth so far:) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389713 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 16:55:51 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 389713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If I'm at someone's house, I'll ask if I can use a room to breastfeed in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389712 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 16:55:49 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 389712@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't ask, I agree, I'm trying to normalize it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389685 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 16:45:56 +0000 Pink Champagne 389685@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel comfortable BFing in front of my in laws, even with a cover, so I just avoid it by bottle feeding. I think it's because right after DS was born, my MIL got all weird about "why she hadn't been able to watch me breastfeed yet". Umm... so yeah, that's NEVER going to happen, you freak.<br /> I nurse DS in front of DH, my mom, dad and my bestie without a cover, but everyone else I've covered up without saying anything. One, most of the time there are other men in the room who don't need to see my boobs, and two, I just don't want to draw attention to the situation. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed, but I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable or like they're on the spot. I figure covering is the easy route.<br /> I did feel a little weirded out at my friend's house when I said I had to feed the baby, and she directed me to their nursery. I am sure she was just trying to make me feel comfortable, but I sat in there all by myself while everyone else visited! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389438 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 15:07:13 +0000 tlcbaby 389438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: They were quite impressive!</p> <p>I haven't thought much about this question until now since I have a while to go before I'll even be thinking about breastfeeding. I imagine I'll have a stronger opinion about it when I have a hungry baby staring me down. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389417 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 15:00:10 +0000 DillonLion 389417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tlcbaby: "YOUR BREASTS ARE HUGE" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389413 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:59:16 +0000 tlcbaby 389413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@highwire: SATC memories! :) I can still picture Carrie's reaction when Miranda just whipped it out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them/page/2#post-389384 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:47:47 +0000 chopsuey 389384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've never asked permission. I would tell them that I was going to nurse. I always wore a cover </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-389382 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 14:47:01 +0000 Chastenet 389382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't ask permission, I just do what I gotta do. I only use a cover if I feel uncomfortable, otherwise my nursing tanks do a pretty good job of covering me. They actually show less cleavage than a lot of girls do on a daily basis!<br /> Also I have to disagree with those that say that as I guest they wouldn't want to make their host uncomfortable. For me it is the opposite. As a hostess, my guests' needs come before mine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388516 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 09:29:09 +0000 Maysprout 388516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would usually say something about LO getting hungry and see what they suggested or sometimes if Id see the hostess I'd ask where a good place was. Some people did offer another room or a quiet place, either bc that's what they thought I wanted or that's what they wanted, but I was happier to not know for sure.</p> <p>But I felt like asking 'can I breastfeed' just put everyone in a bad place. If they said they felt uncomfortable, I honestly would think less of them but at the same time I didn't want to put people in an uncomfy position, it's a catch 22.</p> <p>In my own home I could not bring myself to ask or suggest, it's my freaking home. So I just judged the situation on whether I thought it was better to go or stay and people dealt. I just cringed at the thought of having to ask in my own home, not going to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388501 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 09:22:18 +0000 mediagirl 388501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't been put in this situation all that often. In my home, I do not ask. In my own home, I also don't cover up unless there are men around. In someone else's home, I will just say, I need to feed her, okay if I sit here (ie: living room couch)? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388488 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 09:18:27 +0000 blackbird 388488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think forcing people to see it and be around it and deal with it will necessarily make people more comfortable with it, though. If anything, it seems like it would backfire. I think eventually the US will get there, but not everyone is right now, and that's OK. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388400 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 08:33:42 +0000 meredithNYC 388400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@c.sassy: LOL at "we're not on a crusade". I suppose that's along the lines of how I feel, too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388235 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 01:25:47 +0000 brownie 388235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If we are in public, even with a group, I don't ask. I just feed (without a cover). My friends and family homes I just do it but they are reasonable supportive of it. Asking would bring a lot more attention to it than just getting it over with. If I was at someone else's house it would just depend. I nurse at the babysitters house with her 5 year old, his cousin, her teenage son and her husband there occasionally. I haven't been in a position that I have ever felt I needed to ask or be excused. I will hide if my son needs to be away from distraction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388212 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 00:43:10 +0000 birdofafeather 388212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO isn't here yet, but i don't feel like you should have to ask for permission. i would probably be along the lines of, it's time to feed her and judging the company, proceed. i do think it should be normalized, but at the same time, if there were a teenage boy there, etc, i don't think it's the time for me to activate my "rights," especially if i'm in their home. out in public though, that's a free for all. i doubt i'll worry about who is around at that point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388205 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 00:31:03 +0000 BoogieBea 388205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't ask them but I just let them know that I am going to nurse my child. If I'm in their house, then I'll ask for a room to do it in. My friends always offer a room as soon as I walk in the house anyway knowing that at some point I may need to feed my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388199 Fri, 09 Nov 2012 00:24:43 +0000 Ree723 388199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If someone invites me to their house, knowing I EBF, there is a reasonable expectation that I will be BF'ing my LO at their house. Same thing if they invite us out for a meal or outing. Because I use a cover and don't see how it is any different from being fully clothed and using a bottle, I do not ask if people are comfortable with me feeding in front of them. I just tell them LO is hungry as I start putting on my cover and unhooking my bra. </p> <p>I agree with @Arden and the other posters who said that BF'ing in public really needs to become more normalised in the States. No one even bats an eye when I feed in public here, but I've received lots of incredulous comments from friends and family back in the States who are shocked that I will feed LO anywhere, any time, any place without any regard for who is around. Modesty is one thing, and I do tend to be modest about feeding, but having to remove myself from a situation because someone might be uncomfortable - nope, not going to happen. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388034 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 22:48:16 +0000 pinkcupcake 388034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess it depends on the situation. I always use a cover unless I'm with other women who I know are very comfortable with breast feeding. </p> <p>If I'm at someone's house, I won't ask if I know them very well, or if I know they've also breast fed. However, if I don't know them well or if I think they'll be uncomfortable, I'll typically ask if they mind, or ask if there's a private area I could nurse. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-388021 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 22:40:33 +0000 mamimami 388021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, it never even occurred to me to ask. I use a cover and no one sees anything so why would I ask? If someone is uncomfortable and I'm not even disrobing I don't know how to help that person! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387894 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 21:57:58 +0000 mrstilly 387894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never asked, but at first I never nursed in front of my FIL or BIL. My dad was with us for the first week with my stepmom, so he got used to looking the other way. I never used a cover, but would around my in laws once we got going. I tried to be covered with nursing tops and such but covers never worked for us very well.<br /> I wasn't ever in someone else's home that wasn't family. I probably would have asked if there were guys around but not if it was just women. I don't care if someone else nurses in front of DH but I could see guys being uncomfortable. I guess women too, but I guess I just assume they get it and boobs don't bother them as much since they have their own? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387754 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 21:31:01 +0000 Weagle 387754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's courteous to ask in any company, but especially in someone else's home. Most of the time it's not breastfeeding that people are leery of, it's just a question of modesty and they happen to be private people. I don't think there has to be a "us against them" mentality when it comes to breastfeeding either. We're just feeding our babies. We're not on a crusade. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387237 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 20:01:07 +0000 Arden 387237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it was with someone who was perhaps uncomfortable with it because of their culture, I would make an exception.<br /> If it was someone like my FIL... oh well. I feel like people like that just need to see it a few times and eventually they will get used to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387196 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:54:29 +0000 prettylizy 387196@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been an evolution for us. At the beginning, I would excuse myself because we weren't very good at it yet, couldn't do it under a cover because we weren't good and I felt more comfortable having a quiet space where I could work through my struggles on my own.<br /> Once we got better at nursing, I would casually mention I was going to feed her as I put my cover on, I didn't feel the need to leave the room most of the time (though I would judge based on the company). I nurse uncovered in front of my mom, sister, mil, SIL and bff, though I asked them all if they were ok before I did it. Maybe I didn't ask my sister, but that's sister code! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387158 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:47:56 +0000 sorrycharlie 387158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>unless I'm with my grandmother or mom or aunt, I ask to be excused. I prefer to have alone time, not because I'm ashamed or anything, but because I like the bonding time with LO.</p> <p>as an aside..we're having thrush and latch issues still, so it's painful during latch on, and I don't think company wants to hear my string of cusswords! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387148 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:46:19 +0000 bpcmarj 387148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I judge the company I am in and go from there. Generally I will give a quick "she needs to eat" or something along those lines. I will always cover up to make sure I am being discreet in front of other people. I love the breastfeeding support group I go to because everyone just whips it out and goes for it, like we all just know there will be no judgement there! I do almost always go into another room at my inlaws, but that's for my comfort really! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387099 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:37:15 +0000 meredithNYC 387099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CATWOMAN: Ha! Something tells me he was probably okay with it, though :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387086 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:34:17 +0000 CATWOMAN 387086@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't ask... Until I offended a friend of mine. I whipped it out, not thinking about the fact that her husband and teenage son were present. I have mixed feelings about the situation now, at the time I just didn't realize. It is very natural, and my DDs right. But her son didn't need my boob to be the first one he saw in real life LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-387084 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:33:50 +0000 MsMini 387084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have the same take as @MamaMoose and @Coco Bee. I don't think my right to breastfeed trumps someones right to feel comfortable in their own home. </p> <p>My FIL is extremely uncomfortable with being in the room while someone BF's and they always offer me a place to feed (one of their guest rooms that has a recliner in it). </p> <p>At my house, I used to BF with a cover in the living room, and people who are uncomfortable can go elsewhere. Now LO hates the cover and will do anything to remove it, so instead of flashing our guests, I go to the nursery. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ask-people-if-its-ok-to-breastfeed-in-front-of-them#post-386959 Thu, 08 Nov 2012 19:05:28 +0000 MaisyMay 386959@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think that I would mention that it's time to feed her, and see how comfortable they are with it. I understand that I have the right to feed her where she needs it, but I do also want to respect people's comfort levels. </p> <p>That being said, I also ask before I give myself insulin shots in front of other people because I know some people don't handle seeing shots well. </p>