https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 03:28:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665358 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 13:20:04 +0000 MrsB2012 2665358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would go over Xmas eve and then stay home on Xmas morning. I can see that maybe your MIL was just doing that as you guys wanted it that way last year though, she's probably just thinking that's what you guys would have wanted maybe?<br /> Xmas is super hard for us as DH and I both come divorced families and all 4 parents live in town. Luckily his mom is usually away for Xmas at their vacation home so that's one less family, but it gets super tough organizing everything for sure.<br /> I'd just start doing more what you want, and not catering to everyone else's plans. If it works for you all to get together, do, but if you just want some quiet time with your family, then take that as well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665356 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 13:17:14 +0000 kiddosc 2665356@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a pretty set routine for Christmas, but we live far away from my in-laws, so it's just my family to schedule. We go to my parent's house on Christmas Eve, have dinner and open gifts, Christmas morning is just us, Christmas afternoon is an extended family gathering. I would be annoyed that the plans have to change year to year and would work to come up with something consistent. </p> <p>When we were growing up, we did Thanksgiving with my Dad's family and Christmas with my Mom's. Then the following year we would switch. That was the standing arrangement, so everyone just knew and accepted it. We're hoping to switch to something like this and be able to travel to see the in-laws more often for the holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665293 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 11:39:31 +0000 snowjewelz 2665293@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not since I got pregnant/had kids! Before we'd cater more to my SIL since she has 2 and I only have 1. Now everyone probably caters to us more as I'm about due. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665264 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 10:59:58 +0000 FaithFertility 2665264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone pretty much now that we are the only ones with kids they cater to us, we usually host at our house, but on our time frame! Family all lives close so we just work out times and they all come to us!</p> <p>This year DH works Christmas Eve so my mom is having a little get together at her house for our family and a few of her friends, she is only 15mins away so I will bring the kids for a bit, MIL hasn't mentioned Christmas Eve probably because she knows he is working and just thinks we will probably hang out at my parents, like we are!</p> <p>Christmas morning I like just us for a few hrs! We plan to have everyone over after nap time like 2p.m. for early dinner and gift exchange! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665190 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 08:49:40 +0000 Mamaof2 2665190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess everyone caters to us - we live the farthest away and I like spending Christmas morning in my own home - no rushing! Around noon we head 3 hours south to meet up with my family. They use to do lunch on Christmas and now its dinner to accommodate us. If they preferred to do lunch then we would just miss it.</p> <p>In your situation I would exchange on Christmas Eve - I don't see the point in spending all evening with them and then coming back the very next morning </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665170 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 07:59:59 +0000 bushelandapeck 2665170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It feels like we do all of the travelling but that's partly because we are the only ones in DH and my families that lives out of state. We used to travel on Christmas eve but now we've made it a point of staying home so that our kids can wake up at our house for Christmas. It makes for a pretty chaotic Christmas Day as we go to BIL's and then stay with my mom, but it's the only way it works with everyone's schedules and so many extended families to try to accommodate. That said, I'm not thrilled about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665165 Wed, 14 Dec 2016 07:12:48 +0000 Adira 2665165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can kind of understand this, especially from the point of view of your BIL and his wife. We do the same thing with our families. We split Christmas/Thanksgiving and alternate between my family and his. And we try to coordinate with SIL and her family so that we can have everyone together to celebrate.</p> <p>But I definitely don't cater to them! If it works out, great! If it doesn't, too bad. Once we had kids, I declared we wouldn't be traveling for Christmas anymore. My in-laws were pretty bummed because they like hosting and having everyone over and SIL and her family was always accommodating of that, but I like having Christmas morning at home and everyone lives too far away for us to travel that day.</p> <p>Do what makes you and your family happy! You're seeing the in-laws on Christmas Eve, so exchange gifts then if necessary. There's no need to go back the next morning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2665093 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 21:52:07 +0000 Alba4 2665093@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: We are doing what you and your nuclear family does for the first time this year. It wasn't received well by my in-laws, who expected us to travel 2.5 hours away and spend the weekend. We've decided to always have Christmas morning at our home starting this year, and have invited everyone to join if they wish to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664987 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 17:16:43 +0000 looch 2664987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We travel every other year, and on the years we are not home, we don't have any choice. On the years we are home, I don't want to hurt my parents who on the prior year have not had us home for Christmas at all, so I accommodate what my mom wants, which is Christmas Eve. I host Christmas Day, so I feel like I have done control.<br /> It's not easy, but it's also just another day, it will end in 24 hours. Helps me deal with the fact that I'd rather go to the Bahamas instead! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664980 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 17:12:13 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2664980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I find that interesting how your BIL and SIL can stop the show for the rest of you. Sounds like your MIL really gets in the Christmas spirit when she has ALL her babies around. My mom gets like that too sometimes.</p> <p>Personally, I would push for Christmas morning at home. Even if you all don't get to use the excuse that you're visiting your family there is no need to spend the holiday with your ILs unless you want to.</p> <p>All we have ever tried to do is visit our moms during some part of the holidays. We haven't even been able to do that every year. My mom wanted to come up for Christmas, but I told her no. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664971 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 17:01:28 +0000 twodoghouse 2664971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We used to go out of our way to accommodate everyone, but as our own kids get older, we are prioritizing our nuclear family, which for us means waking up at our own house on Christmas morning and limiting travel on Christmas Day. It was hard for us to do that because for years DH and I spent the night of Christmas Eve with his family, then drove to my aunt's house, then my sister's house on Christmas. We don't ask anyone to accommodate our schedule, just ask that they respect the choice we've made not to drag our kids all over the state on Christmas. It still makes me a little sad that our time with my family is limited at the holidays (the ILs come to our house on Christmas now), but I feel like we are making the best choice for our kids at their current age (they don't sleep well away from home so traveling is stressful). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664945 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 16:04:35 +0000 caterw 2664945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hellz no. We are the only ones with kids so we stay home all day and people can come to us if they want to see us on actual Christmas Day. My mom does Christmas Eve lunch and my ILs do Christmas Eve dinner (they live in the same city) so we can catch any friends and family members then who don't want to travel to us an hour away. I'm not offended if people skip our house.</p> <p>If any of our siblings had kids, I would try to rotate who gets accommodated... It's fun to see cousins on Christmas but it's super not fun to run all around and not have time to open toys and relax. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664941 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 16:00:33 +0000 erinbaderin 2664941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, this isn't cool - it's not fair for them to get to decide what they want to do and you have to fall in line. I would just tell them that you're going to do Christmas morning as a family and you can exchange gifts with the people who are leaving on Christmas Eve. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664926 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 15:44:48 +0000 cat620 2664926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: @Foodnerd81: I'm going to tell my in-laws we would rather stay home Christmas morning. The reason they want to do the family gift exchange on Christmas morning is because they were complaining last year when we did it on the Saturday after Christmas that it didn't feel very Christmassy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664893 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 15:17:07 +0000 Foodnerd81 2664893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would do big Christmas Eve with them and stay home Christmas morning! </p> <p>My situation is different because we live far from both sides, so it's one or the other, we can't split and see both in one year. And for my married siblings it has worked out that we do a bigger Christmas Eve celebration with my family and then my siblings do Christmas Day with their inlaws, but wake up and do presents in their own respective homes. </p> <p>Could you invite your inlaws to come to your house for Christmas afternoon, after they have done their morning with your brother in law? Still do the big Christmas Eve and exhchange gifts with the bil family who won't be there on Christmas Day with you, but have your own relaxing Christmas morning with just you guys? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664892 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 15:16:04 +0000 MaryM 2664892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would push for spending Christmas morning at home. If you're there the night before, what's the point in going back?</p> <p>My mom hated schlepping us to her mom's for 11 a.m. lunch, so my parents decided when they had their first grandchildren to postpone their "Christmas" gathering until the day after Christmas. We've done it every year for probably 15 or 16 years. When I was single, I'd do stockings and breakfast with my parents, then we'd do gifts when my siblings came the next day. </p> <p>DH's family gets together on Christmas, but the host decides on the time and it's usually in the afternoon. I think DH said 1:30 this year (we're hosting)</p> <p>I feel like families/couples should get time to open presents/have coffee/enjoy each other before having to get ready to go anywhere. That's not an obscene request. Especially if there's kids involved. What kid wants to see what santa brought and then leave it all behind to go to their grandparents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-cater-to-everyone-elses-schedule-for-christmas#post-2664884 Tue, 13 Dec 2016 15:10:28 +0000 cat620 2664884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is something that has been bothering me for a couple years now. My husband and I (and our two kids) live just a few miles away from my in-laws. His other two brothers live further away, but usually travel home for the holidays. His youngest brother is single, so he stays for a few days, but his other brother is married, and they like to split the holiday between my in-laws and her parents. I understand why she would do that, but I feel like every year we cater to them and whatever they decide they want to do.</p> <p>Last year, they decided to skip Christmas day and spent the following Saturday with the in-laws. So we postponed exchanging family gifts and eating Christmas dinner until that Saturday, which made Christmas feel very uneventful. My MIL didn't want to cook two big dinners, so we didn't end up doing anything for Christmas. </p> <p>This year, they have decided they are coming for Christmas Eve, but they are leaving Christmas morning to go to her family. So the in-laws want to do Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, but they also want us all to come there on Christmas morning to exchange family gifts before they leave. I had already envisioned Christmas morning relaxing at home with just my family while my kids open presents, not rushing to get everyone dressed and over to the in-laws. </p> <p>Am I being too stubborn if I say I don't want to go there Christmas morning, because I would rather spend it at my own house? How does everyone else handle conflicting schedules for Christmas? Do you cater to everyone else's schedule, or do you keep the same traditions every year regardless of who can make it? </p>