https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 15 May 2026 00:28:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365609 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 09:48:37 +0000 Greentea 2365609@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It must be regional because this is totally not a thing anywhere I have lived and it is bullshit. I treat all people the same. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365601 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 09:32:39 +0000 skipra 2365601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have not come across a lot of nannies around us, but our neighbors have a live in nanny that I talk to way more than the parents! I feel like the households with 2 working parents either use daycare or grandma care and I chat eith them all the time.<br /> In our old town there were a lot of nannies and very few sahm. Most nannies would not talk to me, not the other way around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365589 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 08:56:28 +0000 ElbieKay 2365589@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: This bothers me too. Many of the nannies in my town are from Trinidad. We interviewed some of those but wound up hiring one with a different cultural background. I am glad that my nanny is not part of the "nanny clique" because I think it is less likely that she will gossip about me, compare pay, etc. (I did a lot of research before deciding what to offer my nanny, and I believe her compensation is in line with the area.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365561 Sat, 21 Nov 2015 07:58:51 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2365561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: generally speaking, most of the nannies here are Filipino. </p> <p>There does seem to be a big racial divide that I'm uncomfortable with. I don't like what the nanny/mommy &amp; Filipino/White divide inherently teaches the kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365461 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 23:51:55 +0000 travelgirl1 2365461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Freckles: @oliviaoblivia: I see the same.<br /> Because I would see the same nannies out and about though, there are lots that I would chat to,not in any great depth, but always be friendly with, and they would show a lot of interest in my pregnancy and new baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365460 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 23:48:26 +0000 Foodnerd81 2365460@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: the nannies that I can tell are nannies are usually much older, and often a different race from the kid(s). It's usually the age that gives it away though. There are also a fair number of younger nannies that I won't be sure if they are mom or nanny/ sitter, but one way I've found to figure it out is they will call themselves by their name, not mommy (as in, "give that to Katie, it's dirty" or whatever). I generally go on the assumption that they are mom unless they say otherwise though because I feel like there is less risk of offending someone. There are a lot of nannies around me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365456 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 23:26:53 +0000 Mrs.KMM 2365456@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have never met a nanny (other than my one friend who is a nanny that I knew before she started nannying). But if I met one while I was out and about with DD, I would have no issues talking with/befriending her. I don't understand what the big deal is! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365437 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:57:36 +0000 Anagram 2365437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: this is what I was going to touch on. I live in a town with a very big nanny culture and there's definitely a divide. I will chat with anyone while our kids are playing but it would be hard to be close friends with a nanny--not impossible, but hard. And I'm mainly talking about the older career nannies here. They already have their nanny friends, and there is a normal amount of smack talking about employers (i think normal in any job to an extent, but super awkward when I identify more with the parent's POV).</p> <p>If I'm ever home from work on an odd day when most ppl are working, and I take LO to the community room to play with the nanny kids, the nannies will totally clam up while I'm in there, even though they are all laughing and socializing when I walk in.</p> <p>Having said that, I do see one younger nanny out and about who seems cool, and like I COULD be friends with her, but lets be real...I don't even have time to see my existing friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365429 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:41:00 +0000 daniellemybelle 2365429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: The few times I have met nannies (when I knew they were nannies) this is pretty much how it went. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365423 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:21:54 +0000 twodoghouse 2365423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds sort of dumb, but how do you know when someone's a nanny? I have no idea if any of the people I talk to are nannies. I assume they are the moms because nannies aren't very prevalent here, but I wouldn't ever discriminate if someone was a nanny! It's only been recently that I can even think about talking with other people when we're out because my kids can generally take care of themselves at indoor activities. If we're outside at a park I'm 100% focused on making sure one isn't about to jump off a high piece of equipment while the other goes headfirst down the slide. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365418 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:17:39 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2365418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used to be in a live-in nanny and this is sooo true! I was in NY, not sure if that affected things? But sometimes I felt completely disregarded, like an accessory, or not important. FWIW, the mother of the children I watched never treated me like that and was absolutely amazing. But even some of their family members/close friends would straight out ignore me. It was weird. There was more than once that the family had to tell people I'm basically part of the family and they treat me as such. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365413 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:14:27 +0000 Mae 2365413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jedeve: that is awkward! I think with any situation some people are going to be people you don't want to talk to though, for whatever reason. </p> <p>So interesting that this seems widespread! It honestly never generally even occurs to me that someone might be a nanny rather than a mom. With adoption and having kids early and late.. you just never know. Especially because I mostly chat with caregivers of toddlers at the park since I have a toddler-- really no one is too young to have a toddler! lol. </p> <p>@winniebee: that's awesome! I actually sort of have it in my mind I might ask this woman if she ever does date night sitting at some point. I'm generally uncomfortable with "strangers" watching our kid but I've seen how she is with the kids she watches and she is awesome so I'd totally trust her with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365412 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 22:04:30 +0000 jedeve 2365412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I met a nanny once at the children's museum and she was just complaining a bunch about what her employers were doing (like, she thought they were just too lazy to potty train the kid.) It was awkward. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365397 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 21:42:09 +0000 MrsSRS 2365397@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. I was a nanny on the east coast for years. Because I was in my 20s and looked like my little ones people often assumed I was their mom. I would say about 95% of moms would stop talking to me once they realized I was a nanny. It made it hard to find peers because a lot of the other nannies self segregated by language and I don't speak anything but English fluently. I became pretty fast friends with the couple moms who were nice! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365388 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 21:34:19 +0000 Greentea 2365388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wtf? That's really odd. I talk to everyone at the park, it would be awkward not to. I don't always know if it is a mom, grandma, dad, nanny, friend, aunt, uncle why would it matter... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365355 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 21:04:03 +0000 Freckles 2365355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: same here. </p> <p>I talk to nannies but I find that most don't really want to chat once they realize I'm not a nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365350 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:58:38 +0000 winniebee 2365350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't noticed this to be an issue where I live. In fact, I met our current nanny at the kids gym and we hit it off and exchanged numbers. A year later she became our nanny. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365347 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:55:35 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2365347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to talk to nannies, but I haven't found many wanting to talk to me. There seems to be a lot of segregation between moms and nannies here. I don't like it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365346 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:53:31 +0000 catomd00 2365346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Moms in my area are kind of standoffish so I can see this being a thing. When I worked part time I had one nanny friend I met at the park who we hung out with quite a bit. I don't see what the big deal is, but I also totally hang out with our old nanny though and she's still in college. Love her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365344 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:49:42 +0000 Anagram 2365344@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes this is definitely a thing, but in my experience it goes both ways. I will elaborate more when I get on a computer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365341 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:47:56 +0000 Foodnerd81 2365341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I talk to them- not every one but I don't talk to every mom either. I tend to chat more with the younger ones since they are closer to my age so we have more in common, but it would be weird to just not talk to someone when my kid was playing with their charge. </p> <p>That said, I do usually see the older nannies getting together wth their kids more- like I'll chit chat with them by they obviously came to that playground together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-chat-with-nannies#post-2365340 Fri, 20 Nov 2015 20:44:13 +0000 Mae 2365340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So there is this nanny we run into a lot at our favorite playground. She watches two kids, the younger of which is about my LO's age so we chat a lot. I ran into her today at the library and she asked if we'd want to set up a regular play date since the weather is getting too cold to do the park as much as we had been. As we were exchanging info another nanny overheard us and asked me if I was a mom. The first nanny responded before I could answer "she is but she's a NICE MOM. She actually talks to us." I must have looked a little confused because the other nanny then said to me "most moms won't talk to us once they realize we're nannies and not moms." </p> <p>Is this really a thing? Maybe our city is just particularly bitchy? lol I have a hard time figuring out why moms would self-segregate like that if the kids get along. </p>