https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 20 Apr 2026 08:26:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534634 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 19:28:53 +0000 Weswife 2534634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in the exact same place as you my dear! I am in the beginning of my TWW as well, but daily I see a mom pick up her student from my class and she is due around the exact same time as I was. Its slightly torture. But I have to remind myself everyday that I am not mad at her. I just want what she has and I will get it, I will. Just like you will! I also have to remind myself that I don't know her story. I don't know if she struggled or has..etc. Everyone has a story and we know ours so we compare, but we have to remember that everyone has one.. We will get our rainbows! And when we do they will be completely perfect! Much love for you, try your best I know its hard I still struggle almost everyday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534575 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 18:09:57 +0000 jaguar 2534575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to, but I do it all the time. My little boy would have just turned one, and my other bebes would be wee ones by now. *hugs* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534518 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 16:08:12 +0000 catlady 2534518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. It's hard. I was doing it today actually. I would have been 39 weeks (which is when my LO was born), or 20 weeks (when I would have had an anatomy scan). Luckily, I am pregnant again, but not far enough along to feel any type of confidence yet.</p> <p>Thankfully, I know that it does fade with time. I had a loss before having my LO and it feels so far away now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534510 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 15:57:23 +0000 MaryM 2534510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: This is the blog that got me hooked on that writer <a href="http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason" rel="nofollow">http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason</a></p> <p>His latest one on "wallowing" is also really good. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534509 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 15:57:09 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 2534509@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I definitely felt that way. I so desperately wanted to be pregnant again by the time my due date came. Fortunately I was about six weeks along with DD so it did make the due date a little easier. DD had a twin and I still think about him or her quite a bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534500 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 15:51:39 +0000 HLK208 2534500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry.</p> <p>I do the same. Every time.<br /> And I still have such a hard time sorting through the emotions. It's feels like time has frozen since it happened. And I go back (in my head) to the moment that I found out I MC often. :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534496 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 15:44:10 +0000 nana87 2534496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: :heart: you are so wise! this part especially hits home for me "people shouldn't ... try to hide their grief or minimize it because it makes other people comfortable" I'm finding the fact that most people don't know about my loss to be really chafing, because the reason I don't tell them is primarily so that it doesn't make them uncomfortable--I'm protecting them rather than seeking their help/comfort for myself. *if* I get pregnant again I'm going to rethink when/how we announce, because I think I need more support than I thought I did before. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534400 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:56:45 +0000 MaryM 2534400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I started following Tim Lawrence on facebook. He's a blogger who blogs a lot about grief and how people shouldn't be held to a timeline or try to hide their grief or minimize it because it makes other people comfortable. </p> <p>I think that's really been the biggest lesson for me. After my first loss I hid everything and couldn't figure out why I wasn't feeling better after a certain amount of time (I probably hit rock bottom 6 months after the miscarriage). </p> <p>I think we can only learn how to heal if we acknowledge how we feel and give it time and room to make an impact on our hearts. Only then can we figure out what the hell we're supposed to do with those feelings </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534389 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:50:09 +0000 nana87 2534389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MaryM: oh you are so right! the only thing we have to remember is all of our hopes and expectations, and it's hard to take comfort in that </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534218 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 10:53:16 +0000 MaryM 2534218@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: "I'm still grieving for what could have been."</p> <p>I think this is the worst part of loss. I don't think people realize that no matter how little our babies are when we lose them, it doesn't take away all the hopes and dreams we built up for them. </p> <p>It's sort of a flip side of most grief (losing people at older ages). When you lose a parent or grandparent, people can say "Remember all the good times you had together!"</p> <p>When our babies die, we lose that too. </p> <p>Absolutely perfectly normal to grieve that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534159 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 10:11:49 +0000 nana87 2534159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>huge :heart: to all of you! I'm so sorry to hear that we're all going through this, but it is so good to hear that it's "normal" to feel this way. Since my loss was so early, I keep feeling like I'm being silly or overdramatic when the waves of sadness about it hit me, but I know I need to just let myself feel, and that it still is a loss even if it was early--I'm still grieving for what could have been. I'm really working on being gentler with myself </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534124 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 09:45:26 +0000 MrsKoala 2534124@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes, I compared. In fact, my due date from my MC just passed and several times that day, I thought about how I was supposed to have a baby now instead of being pregnant. I am pretty thankful that I am pregnant at least. It has helped prevent me from feeling overwhelmingly sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2534012 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 07:08:27 +0000 LulaBee 2534012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally normal, I did after both my losses. One of my best friends has a little boy who is the same age as my son would be had he lived, and sometimes it's hard to even be around him. But I have my beautiful double rainbow baby girl, and am so lucky to have her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533835 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 18:45:42 +0000 delight 2533835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes I do this all the time. My SIL and I had the same due date and I lost my baby girl at 22w. It's very hard for me to be around my niece now and watch her go through all her milestones, thinking that I should have a daughter the same age. I'm hoping that once my rainbow babe arrives, I will be able to let go a little bit of old due dates and feel more comfortable being around my SIL and niece. It is so tough and I'm sorry for your loss and everyone else's losses here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533830 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 18:39:34 +0000 Crystal 2533830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is 100% normal, and incredibly hard. It sucks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533828 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 18:34:03 +0000 Alba4 2533828@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I think that is totally normal. I felt the same way after both my miscarriages. Sending you ❤️. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533689 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 14:56:44 +0000 runnerd 2533689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:crying: it's hard! I usually was able to push it away, but definitely seeing where others were that I would have been do near triggered comparisons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533680 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 14:53:46 +0000 lilyann 2533680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two of my good friends are due around the same time I was supposed to be. It is hard seeing their baby bumps grow (we see them every week) when I don't have one anymore. I hope you get some good news soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533677 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 14:49:39 +0000 MaryM 2533677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it would probably be more odd if you didn't realize the milestones after being pregnant. </p> <p>I don't do it as much with my early loss, but it's hard not to. DH had 8 or 10 friends all due that same year, so when I see those kids, I remember we should have one the same age as them. </p> <p>And then there were a handful of people due around the time of my second (who was stillborn) so it's hard. I've hidden most of them on facebook, but I can't ignore my own nephew (who I've only met once since he was born. I used to go visit them about once a month). </p> <p>The time from her due date up until recently were really hard. I had some hard stuff going on at work and couldn't help but think "I shouldn't even be here! I should be on maternity leave"</p> <p>After my first, it did get easier though. Especially once I'd been around my friends' kids a few times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533642 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 14:18:31 +0000 nana87 2533642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533618 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 13:49:50 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2533618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry. </p> <p>I did the same too. I remember breaking down thinking I should be 20 weeks and instead was 0 weeks. </p> <p>Hugs ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533559 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 12:56:35 +0000 nana87 2533559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Torchwood: :heart: that's so hard to have family due at the same time, I'm so sorry </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533538 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 12:41:54 +0000 Torchwood 2533538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. I tried to avoid it as much as I could. I wound up with two cousins pregnant that were each due in one of the months I was supposed to be due. I hid them on FB for a loooong time. Even now when both kids are two and I'm<br /> holding my 10mo in my arms, it can hurt a little to see them. </p> <p>I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's hard. Lots of hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-compare-2#post-2533524 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 12:19:17 +0000 nana87 2533524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>...where you are in your current cycle with how far along you would have been if you hadn't lost the pregnancy?</p> <p>Because it SUCKS. And I never want to do it again even though I'm sure I will.</p> <p>At a barbeque yesterday, a friend announced she was 11 weeks and due in November. My first reaction was to be excited for her, but hearing she has a November due date made my stomach drop since our due date was October...And then I realized that I would have been 16 weeks this week. As in, first anatomy scan, finding out the sex and whether everything was okay, etc. Omg, I didn't realize how far along I would have been, and now I'm feeling so, so sad that instead I'm at the beginning of a tww :crying: I was already dreading this tww, but so much more so now! </p>