https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 18:08:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873447 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 17:42:06 +0000 Mae 1873447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DHs parents have never asked us to come for thanksgiving, so that is easy (even before he met me my husband didn't go home for it bc he thinks it is a dumb holiday and too short a weekend to travel for). We used to go to my parents every year but 2 years ago they started coming to our house and it is awesome. They come a day or two ahead and my mom cooks and we get to be in our own home. (its just my parents, us, and my brother/sil)</p> <p>Christmas we've always gone to my parents or dh's mom. We do "our" christmas the day before we leave for traveling. I do feel strongly that I want my LO to wake up in her own bed for christmas morning-- but I don't care so much before she has a possibility of remembering. This year we will go to my parents. I'm hoping by next year my parents will live in our city and we can just have them over while we open gifts then my mom can do dinner if she wants at her house. I don't know what we'll do about dh's family. he's said we're done going to see his mom for a long time bc its too hard to travel now with LO and she doesn't really have room for us all-- but I don't know if that will fly forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873396 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 16:28:18 +0000 sunny 1873396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both families live really far away. Mine live a 5 hr plane ride and DH's lives in Europe. We usually spend Thanksgiving with some close friends. We love them and are happy that we are invited every year to their family celebration. </p> <p>We have been going to see my parents every other year, and MIL comes to visit us on the off years. I really wish my family would come visit us one year. I don't know how to break it to my mom that we aren't planning to come back this year even though it's "her year". DH is tired of going in the winter and I would much rather go in the summer as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873382 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 16:08:50 +0000 AmandaB8 1873382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We go to our family's holidays. Both our families live 3 hours away from us. </p> <p>This past year, I was too pregnant to go in for Christmas. And honestly? It. Sucked. I will never complain about travelling constantly. One day my parents and aunts and uncles won't be here - and I WONT get the opportunity to celebrate with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873376 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:57:53 +0000 LuLu Mom 1873376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Christmas Eve is at my parent's house, the Saturday before Christmas is at the in laws, Christmas morning is our family time. Then we head to my grandma's for lunch and his dad's side for dinner. I have our morning where Santa comes and I make a nice breakfast, I like spending it with family. It's a lot but it's worth it for my kids to grow up with their extended family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873339 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:26:02 +0000 Greentea 1873339@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I am personally over it. We are doing holidays just us! We haaate holidays and all the pressure and craziness. Last year we ended up driving home in a snowstorm in the middle of the night because we were having such a crap time, so we then decided we were doing our own thing from that moment on.</p> <p>We gotta do what's right for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873020 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:42:10 +0000 mrs. tictactoe 1873020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For the past several years, we have done Christmas at our house, with everyone invited. Usually my parents don't come (they go out of town), but my husband's family does. I love planning everything, but it is a little stressful to have everyone over in our tiny house. </p> <p>As for thanksgiving, we have two: one at my parents' and one at my IL's. That way I don't have to make a turkey and we both get to experience it how it was growing up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1873002 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:34:34 +0000 Meridian 1873002@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This will be our first holiday season with our LO (he's due right before Thanksgiving!). DH's family live 10 mins away, and mine are 30 mins away. </p> <p>Don't think we'll be going anywhere for Thanksgiving this year. I don't have any particular attachment to Thanksgiving except for the copious amounts of food (which I don't want to cook) so I'm fine going to our families' home. But for Christmas, I would really like to start our own traditions now that we'll have a LO. Not sure how this will work moving forward! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1872971 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:15:58 +0000 alphagam84 1872971@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an issue with you being stuck on dish duty while your husband socializes. Why do they feel it is ok to make your clean while he has fun? That s**t wouldn't fly with me, I'd tell my husband to join me in cleaning up and then we would both socialize. No way would I be willing to clean up like some peasant. </p> <p>Your husband needs to have a talk with his own mother about the holidays and how to handle in the future. You should start taking turns: one year at your house and the next year at theirs. If she can't agree, then it is her loss and won't see you that year. You could also go over to a relatives for a short period of time, like for breakfast or dinner, etc. and not stay long. When I was little we did Christmas Eve with my dad's side, Christmas morning and lunch with my parents and sister, then went to my mom's side for dinner. It worked well! For other family, like 2nd cousins, etc. we'd have a Christmas celebration a week or two before the actual holiday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family/page/2#post-1872961 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 12:08:05 +0000 JMOM 1872961@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lion: Truthfully, it is easier to go than get the guilt from certain people for not going. And, it's not like we don't have a great time and enjoy our families and their traditions. There may come a year where we do say we just can't financially swing a trip and stay home. We did miss one year - but we were overseas at the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872945 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 11:56:08 +0000 Mrs. Lion 1872945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JMOM: if that is important to you, do it! It is not your obligation that you HAVE to travel. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872779 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 10:04:08 +0000 ValentineMommy 1872779@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone lives within a 5 mile radius (we're all within 2 towns next to one another), so we see both families. It's a lot of back and forth though, which I don't like. Life would be so much easier if our families would get together and do one big holiday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872771 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 09:58:55 +0000 JMOM 1872771@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are never home for Christmas which makes us sad. We were 3 hours away from family so we would always be gone for every holiday. Now we are 3 states away so we are not planning on going for Thanksgiving which will be nice. But, unless we just put our foot down, we will always have to be traveling for Christmas. I have such good memories of waking up and running out to see the Christmas tree and my kids will never have that. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872760 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 09:52:46 +0000 cascademom 1872760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not yet. I long for the day when we can just have it to ourselves. Right now, we split holidays between families. This year, Thanksgiving is at my inlaws while Christmas is at my parents. My MIL threw in the wrench of FIL's 50th birthday on Christmas this year. It's not their year. They have to respect that, but it's my MIL, so of course she doesn't. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872755 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 09:49:31 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1872755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ever since moving in together we have hosted Thanksgiving. This year we are going to my mom's house. Christmas has always been at my mom's, but this year maybe not. I think we may have a solo Christmas. Besides moms &amp; half of our siblings living in our state the rest of our family is elsewhere. The holidays are not that important to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872627 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 08:57:45 +0000 Mrs. Sketchbook 1872627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We bust our butts to see everyone, which is made especially difficult because my parents are divorced and live in a different state. Right now my parents alternate getting either Christmas or Thanksgiving. We celebrate Christmas morning at home and then travel in the afternoon to my family and spend the weekend. DH's family (local) does their celebration Christmas Eve so it works out well. For Thanksgiving when it is my dad's turn we go Wednesday--Sunday, because he lives farthest away and my whole extended family has dinner. When I see mom at Thanksgiving we actually go visit the weekend after because my mom isn't super into the meal aspect of it and doesn't mind as long as we spend the weekend together. We instead have dinner with DH's family, as they have a big giant meal (my favorite). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872545 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 08:11:17 +0000 loveisstrange 1872545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My family is extremely holiday oriented. We do Thanksgiving afternoon with mine and evening with DH's. Christmas Eve is my family, Christmas morning we open gifts at home and then go to my parents for breakfast (my dad makes biscuits and gravy every year) and then Christmas Day is spent with DHs family for dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872540 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 08:07:01 +0000 My Only Sunshine 1872540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so hard!! We're working on sorting out our traditions too. </p> <p>One thing we did last year that I think we'll do again is on Christmas morning it was just our little family, and then we invited everyone who was in town over to our house for a comfy clothes brunch. We made a big egg casserole and cinnamon rolls and had mimosas. It was so fun and laid back and I loved getting to just stay at our house.</p> <p>This obviously only works if your family is within driving distance and no one else also has the same idea to host so they don't have to leave their house :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872491 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 07:44:42 +0000 Alivoo01 1872491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just do whatever we feel like for each holiday. Thankfully, our families are understanding and don't mind. If we feel like visiting, we will. If not, we'll do our own thing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872461 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 07:15:54 +0000 LovelyPlum 1872461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree about celebrating the season! It helps :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872428 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 06:15:58 +0000 looch 1872428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also do a little of both for the December holidays, my parents are local, my husband's are on another continent. </p> <p>I don't focus on the "day" of the holiday, it makes it a lot less stressful when I am open to celebrating the season, rather than on a specific day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872275 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 20:37:29 +0000 Adira 1872275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've been doing holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) with family, alternating between the in-laws and my parents. But we've always said that we want to eventually do Christmas as a family at home once we have our kids. So baby #2 is due in December and we'll be staying home. I'm planning on inviting the in-laws since this is their "year" for Christmas, but then starting next year, it'll just be us! We'll probably still alternate Thanksgiving for a while though, just because I'm not a great cook, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1872247 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 20:14:14 +0000 ElbieKay 1872247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am going to tell my mom that we are going to host Thanksgiving this year. She is sort of insanely aggressive about hosting Thanksgiving to the point where it drives me nuts. I don't think she will be especially happy about this decision but I want to own a holiday, and I'm Jewish so I don't care about Christmas. She can keep Passover. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871977 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 15:59:12 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1871977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Skadi: we do a little but of both. Both our families live locally.</p> <p>We alternate thanksgiving and Easter. We have thanksgiving with my ILs and Easter with my family. The following year we flip. </p> <p>For Christmas, it was getting nuts. It was so important to us to have our own traditions, especially once our oldest was born, and to be home on Xmas morning and not feel rushed that day.</p> <p>We host my ILs on Xmas Eve. DH and I have fun cooking!<br /> We stay home Xmas morning, but go over my parents in the afternoon for dinner. </p> <p>It's a nice compromise that works for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871969 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 15:54:51 +0000 namaste 1871969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've spent the past few holidays alone but this year we're doing it with family. With a LO, I can imagine the family will want us to visit but I won't really do it unless we want to. I love having our own holidays. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871888 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 13:49:34 +0000 Skadi 1871888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@regberadaisy: We live in an apartment, while our local inlaws live in a nice house, so they'd look at us like we're crazy if we offered to host. Oh, and MIL refuses to eat any of my cooking. I'm not alone in this--DH's brother went to cooking school and if he brings her any desserts or food of any kind he cooked, she says she'll "eat it later" and then throws it in the trash. She has serious issues about believing she is the queen of the kitchen. Good times! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871883 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 13:40:10 +0000 Tanjowen 1871883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My in-laws live a few states away, so we alternate every year on holidays if we go out for Thanksgiving or Christmas. For Christmas we do not go out there on the actual date. We go the week before and do a mini celebration and fly home. </p> <p>Also, we are in a different situation because my husband's schedule means he is usually flying Christmas day, so Christmas is whenever he is home and the day we pick. We do our own dinner and traditions on that day. We've decided for our LO that he will get one gift from Santa on the 25th so he can still get something Christmas day.</p> <p>If it's going to cause family problems to not go on the actual date and that's something you want to avoid, could you set Christmas Eve as your special day together as a family? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871856 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 12:50:21 +0000 autumn865 1871856@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are lucky in that both families are with a 15 minute radius of one another. What really helped us was to "claim" a holiday that we would host every year so Christmas Eve is at the in laws, Christmas Day is at our house, and thanksgiving and Easter are kind of "up for grabs floating" holidays that we sometimes do my inlaws sometimes do my parents. But it helps to have "claimed" a holiday for ourselves so you can go to other peoples house and let them plan and prepare the day and endure dish duty but knowing you have a day that is your own to put your energies into. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871855 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 12:50:20 +0000 Mrs. Chipmunk 1871855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>we had a guest pastor recently that did a really good talk on getting married and the meaning behind "a man leaves his parents to become united with his wife" from genesis - and the modern day thought is that we do leave our families - we're financially independent, we live in a different house, often a different city or state. but the real historical context didn't mean anything like that because you got married back then and still lived under the same roof as your family.</p> <p>the pastor told his own children to be very firm when they got married to tell their parents that trips to visit family are NOT vacations, and that they need to tell their parents that they will not spend their first christmas, their first thanksgiving, etc with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871853 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 12:35:43 +0000 lamariniere 1871853@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I struggle with this too. I am NOT into the holidays but every year since my son was born, my inlaws have flown in (from another country) to celebrate because his birthday is at the end of December. This year we are being strong armed/guilt tripped into going to their place. I am so not looking forward to it. I would rather spend the time off with my little family and just go about not celebrating Christmas as my husband and I would like to. I don't really have any advice though, just sympathy. How does your husband feel? Does he agree more with you or with his family for how the holidays should be allocated amongst family members? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-do-your-own-holidays-or-visit-family#post-1871850 Sun, 21 Sep 2014 12:27:47 +0000 regberadaisy 1871850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LovelyPlum: haha yes! We watch A Christmas Story every year and will continue with our LOs.<br /> We don't mind the hecticness of holiday travel or hosting. Holidays are about family and that includes grandparents and cousins!! :) besides *we* want to see our nieces and nephews around the holidays! </p>