https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Apr 2026 02:47:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618475 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 22:40:02 +0000 808love 2618475@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel judged for feeling I am never being judged.<br /> :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618452 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 21:48:17 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2618452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have been, in particular about not breastfeeding and about being a SAHM. I am a WOHM now but I think that gets less judgment although I won't say none.</p> <p>I honestly care very little now. I am more concerned about people judging the way j discipline, etc., but even with that I don't care all that much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618451 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 21:46:36 +0000 Rocker2014 2618451@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, not really, though I keep expecting to be based on threads like these. But, I have a pretty thick skin and my husband would tell you that I can be a little self absorbed, so I'm probably being judged all the time and just not noticing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618437 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 21:30:03 +0000 DesertDreams88 2618437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This one seems silly, but I feel judged for not wearing my baby, and instead using a stroller almost exclusively. In my church / group of friends, most of them baby wear. But my baby is pretty heavy and large at this point, and extremely squirmy. A stroller makes him and me happier. It's not that I don't care about my child and don't want to hold them all the time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618354 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 20:04:09 +0000 Kemma 2618354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a couple of friends who probably judge me for extended bf'ing my 18 month old and my tendency towards attachment / gentle parenting but I'm not terribly bothered and they'd never outwardly say anything about it so we're cool. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618351 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 20:00:31 +0000 lovehoneybee 2618351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really. I mean, I'm sure someone somewhere is judging me for something. I both co-sleep and let my kids CIO. I've both breastfed and formula fed. BLW and purées. I've been a SAHM and WOHM. Worn my babies and put them in strollers. And so on and so forth. It doesn't matter what choice I make, someone disagrees and judges me for it. I just do what I think the best is for my family. If I worried about what other people thought about my choices I'd be crazy, so I choose to ignore the noise... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618334 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 19:51:56 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2618334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wrkbrk: yeah, but it's NBD. We all open ourselves up for opinions. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618269 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 18:39:27 +0000 catgirl 2618269@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: I completely agree. I think education is always a good thing but thank you for the reminder that DD does benefit from it even if I am choosing to stay home. It just will always hurt to hear it from close friends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618156 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 16:16:20 +0000 KT326 2618156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom kind of rolls her eyes at some of the things I do but I think she also understands that times have changed since I was a baby so she doesn't say anything.</p> <p>DS is 4 and still throws temper tantrums once in awhile, the other weekend DH had to carry him out of Target screaming. I definitely felt all the eyes on us but I really don't care. He wasn't listening so we removed him from the situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618152 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 16:05:21 +0000 KT326 2618152@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: that is crazy! Rear facing is so much safer! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618117 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:48:34 +0000 arosebyany 2618117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not that I'm aware of?! I don't speak to my family, and my in laws are awesome for the most part. If people in public are judging me, I'm not really paying attention. My BF did give me a hard time for having a coffee table with "sharp corners" with a child that will be walking soon. Lol she's more concerned for safty, not really judgy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618110 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:35:03 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2618110@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: OMG that's the most insane story I've ever heard. I bet the emergency dispatchers eyes rolled to the back of his/her head. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged/page/2#post-2618109 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:29:13 +0000 Cherrybee 2618109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Y'know.... I don't, particularly. Im sure people IRL and on HB think I'm a bit crap, but it's not *being judged* if you're open and honest about your failings! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618107 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:26:14 +0000 youboots 2618107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@catgirl: I have my degree too, and it feels silly I wasted all that time on school (it's just me putting that on myself). My therapist pointed out that T benefits by having a well educated SAH parent (much of it early childhood education) and that it's not a waste. I thought that was a nice way to think of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618106 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:26:02 +0000 Mrs. Pen 2618106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had finally reached the point of not really caring what others think, even though I've been judged so much since making the decision to work- go back to school, and now work full time in my new field.<br /> However, I really can't help but care when it's family members making comments. Just a couple weeks ago my dad again brought up the fact that I work and that back in his day, women never worked and stayed home to raise kids the way it should be. That's been so, so hard for me to deal with. My mom has worked hard to support me and doesn't say anything anymore, and I wish he'd do the same. </p> <p>I also live in a predominantly SAHM area and I didn't know any mother growing up who didn't stay home with her kids. So it's hard to find support for WOHMs. </p> <p>Since my husband found out he's losing his job, my favorite retort to the naysayers has been "so you think it'd be responsible for me to quit my job and stay home when my husband is out of work?" And lately that's been shutting them up. </p> <p>One of the reasons I chose to go back to school and get a degree because I knew if the worst happened, I wanted to be able to provide for myself and my son. And right now, I'm having to do that. And I can't imagine the predicament we'd be in right now if I hadn't finished my degree and got a decent job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618092 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 15:00:36 +0000 Mrsbells 2618092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I think every parent feels judged depending on the person you are speaking to. Some people judged me for going back to work at 12 weeks or choosing to breastfeed up to 14 months. My coworker actually told me its gross to keep breastfeeding beyond the first few months after birth. Theres so many things to get judged on its actually quite silly. I had a csection after failed induction and in some people's minds that not good enough. I do by best not to let it get to me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618089 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:58:44 +0000 catgirl 2618089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, of course. I think most people do at some point. Judgement from strangers doesn't bother me much but it is much harder from friends and family. Most of my friends do not have children yet, but it is definitely not the norm to be a SAHM where I grew up so they all judge pretty hardcore. They say I am wasting my degree and will be raising my daughter to think she can only be a wife and mother. That stings.</p> <p>We parent differently than any of my inlaws which makes for some interesting comments. They think the differences stem from just me when really DH wants to intentionally do things differently form how he was raised. </p> <p>The only time a stranger really got to me was when I was confronted for rear facing my daughter, who was 18 months at the time, in a Target parking lot. She started yelling at me that I was putting her life in danger and said she would call the cops if I didn't switch her seat. When I tried to ignore her she tried prevent me from putting DD in the car, when I pushed her away she called the police to report that DD was rearfacing. It was ridiculous. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618051 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:26:07 +0000 skipra 2618051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: Oh yes! Super funny! When we announced my second to my judge-y sister, her response was to ask me if I'd heard of birth control. Nice one. I had to preface the announcement of our third with "This was planned." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618048 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:23:44 +0000 oscarthegoon 2618048@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel judged for extended breastfeeding. DS#2 is two and a half and he still asks to nurse regularly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618036 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:09:56 +0000 Adira 2618036@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@oliviaoblivia: I think it's a reflex by people who think WE might be judging them for turning their kids around! So they go on the offensive by judging us first. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618031 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:06:02 +0000 catomd00 2618031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not really, but I just don't care. I'm sure people do but whatever, they shouldn't be concerned about what I do if they don't live with or financially support me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618025 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:01:37 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2618025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I get judged for rear facing too. I don't get it. It's safer end of story.</p> <p>@skipra: the comedians and their "don't you know this happens?" jokes drive me bonkers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618024 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 14:01:31 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 2618024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My In laws are super judge-y people and we see them everyday so yeah, I feel judged. They make some pretty rude comments about everything and are constantly asking questions about things that are not their concern and telling me how what I'm doing isn't the way to do it. </p> <p>I occasionally feel judged by other parents about how I handle DD's attitude or the fact that I'm pretty hands off and let my kids climb and fall (within reason) and even climb up the slide (gasp) if no one is going down. But I don't care. It's usually strangers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618017 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 13:55:26 +0000 wrkbrk 2618017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bao: I am very thankful that one side effect of being married to a woman is that there are no assumptions about which one of us will do what (work, stay home, household chores, daycare drop offs). We try to divide things equitably - not EQUALLY, but equitably for us. And it seems that people just dont know what to think. Hahaha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2618015 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 13:54:16 +0000 wrkbrk 2618015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: on HB? :'( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2617996 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 13:35:45 +0000 avivoca 2617996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Pickle: Yeah, H fell off the playground equipment on Sunday and there was so much judgement from the other moms at the park, just in the looks I got. She fell face first but she was totally fine! It wasn't even the tall playscape, it was the one made for 2-5 year olds. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2617989 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 13:31:40 +0000 caterw 2617989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ughhh yes!! I stayed home for 7 months with DD and then returned to work for a little bit and got "How can you leave her?". Um- I couldn't really and I cried every day so I went back to staying at home when we moved 6 months later. I got tons of crap from my ILs about "not contributing". My MIL always worked a full time job and she thinks I'm super lazy for not working and "making her son pay my student loans". DH eventually made some comment about how he's proud that he can afford for me to stay home and that he loves that I don't leave our kids with strangers all day. ILs didn't really like that, but they haven't been rude to me about our life choices since. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2617962 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 13:02:27 +0000 skipra 2617962@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely! One of my sisters doesn't have kids and she clearly judges the fact that #1 I had kids and too many too and #2 I'm not working and poor DH has to do everything (haha). DH's sister totally judges the way we are raising our kids and has no respect for our wishes for them. DH's mom is constantly asking when I'm going back to work despite the fact that she didn't work until her kids were much older and DH tells her he wants me to stay home. So yes, 100% judged by family.<br /> And totally judged by strangers too! I always get comments about my kids being too close in age. Just yesterday some random women at the park commented that "parenting isn't what it used to be" because I was a few yards away from my kids while they played in a sandbox in my clear line of sight. How can you possibly be a parent and not feel judged?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2617942 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:50:49 +0000 lilteacherbee 2617942@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been a WOHM, SAHM, and a part-time WAHM and I've been judged for all of them 🙄</p> <p>My mom had a lot to say about me putting my almost 3 year old in half-day preschool. And I'm pretty sure when I announce this pregnancy, I'll feel judged for having 3 kids in less than 4 years. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-judged#post-2617929 Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:44:17 +0000 Modern Daisy 2617929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've gotten some snarky and judgy looks and comments about how much we spend on childcare, no joke. We are hiring a full time nanny and enrolling DS #1 in preschool (no public options near me) so our childcare costs are over $3k per month. I would really love it if we had a more affordable option but no family is willing to help us and we both have super demanding inflexible jobs and DS gets sick constantly so 2 in daycare is not a possibility for us. </p>