https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 13:58:27 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736833 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 17:04:00 +0000 Mrs. J 1736833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: yes. This. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736829 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 17:01:12 +0000 Mrs. Grizzly Bear 1736829@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Sunshine: "Sometimes it makes me stabby." :D I laughed. Thank you. Because that's -exactly- how I feel somedays. And it isn't that hubs isn't pulling his weight and I'm not pulling mine, it just gets so overwhelming and I want to just.... GRRR!! You know??</p> <p>@OsoInGreenAndGold: That's always the worst. If you ever need to vent about it, I'm your gal!</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Hubs does some items just because I can't stand to - like taking out the trash or the diaper pail, especially when it starts smelling - but usually we'll work pretty equally. He'll help me pick up toys at the end of the day, swap laundry when he's home and on weekends, does most of the cooking and cleaning. So I'm not lamenting over him not helping enough just sometimes life happens! And then there's a mountain where before there really was a tiny mole hill.</p> <p>@Cherrybee: Thanks :) I always appreciate hugs :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736823 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 16:56:35 +0000 allison 1736823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't have a dishwasher, either, and it suuuucks. I learned that the best way for me to minimize the sink buildup is to reduce the number of plates/bowls/glasses/etc in the cabinet. We only have 6 place settings (dinner plates, salad plates, cereal bowls, forks, knives, spoons). So when those are dirty, we have to wash! It still gets ridiculous a lot, but not as bad as when we had more plates and stuff.</p> <p>All of our laundry hampers are in closets, behind closed doors. Otherwise, E would distribute all the dirty clothing throughout the house, daily. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736789 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 16:43:53 +0000 Mae 1736789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I sah right now and I do more of the chores like laundry and dishes and whatnot. At first it kind of bugged me but then I figured if I'm not working (outside the house) then it is only fair that I do more in the house to the extent I can. But I think it makes a huge difference in my attitude that my dh doesn't seem to expect me to do stuff or care on days where I don't get things done. So it is self imposed. Also.. Days where I don't get stuff done my dh comes home and starts doing chores and that bums me out because usually after a long day at home what I really want is for him to watch lo so I can be off the clock a little. So my getting stuff done during the day actually nets me more free time over all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736760 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 16:32:15 +0000 Cole 1736760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wound up dropping my hours in a major way because of hyperemesis during this pregnancy so I am basically staying home now even without a little one yet. I do the bulk of our cleaning, errands etc but right now I don't mind. For us it has always ebbed and flowed as far as who got the lion's share of the house work and I don't think it's ever been fifty fifty. That being said, we have similar cleanliness thresholds and neither of us minds if a chore gets skipped. </p> <p>I wish I had a good suggestion for you but it sounds like you're a far better housekeeper than me! :happy: The good news is that at some point the little ones can be taught to help find all the puzzle pieces and that the pendulum will swing again at some point. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736367 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 14:29:39 +0000 heffalump 1736367@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. Some days I get a lot done, 3 loads of laundry and dishes are done. Other days laundry is piled and so are the dishes. we are rarely home, and when i am home I have two kids to deal with, plus I get migraines pretty often. DH understands this. Sometimes he'll ask me to throw in some laundry, but he'll always add, "if you can't get it done don't worry about it I'll do it when I get home." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736304 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 14:14:38 +0000 travelgirl1 1736304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Definitely. Which is fine if I actually am at home but since I watch another little girl (in her home) now, I see myself as working OUT of the house. Because I still have DD with me, I think DH still seems me as at home and expects me to do all the housework, not in a demanding way, but he won't do housework himself so I have to do it kind of way :) We got a cleaner once a fortnight which helps immensely. I also try do a pick up and hoover while we eat dinner so it looks nicer for the night ahead and I can sit on my ass and watch Downton Abbey once A is down :wink: </p> <p>@MsLipGloss: LOVE that basket idea, am employing that immediately :happy: </p> <p>@Pepper: Why did I never think of this? Paper plates for breakfasts may just change my life! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736284 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 14:10:02 +0000 kjpugs 1736284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No advice or anything just support. I'm a WAHM parent and DH sometimes seems to feel like because I'm home "all the time" more falls on me. Granted he works extremely long hours, so I like to do more than what would be 50/50, but it does get hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736273 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 14:03:59 +0000 winniebee 1736273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely. It's one of the things that irks be about being home. My husband could care less about a clean house but since I do, I'm always cleaning and doing chores.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736243 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:57:38 +0000 Cherrybee 1736243@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is one of the reasons I struggled with being at home with LO (I had a 7 month mat leave). I resented the fact that all childcare issues and most household chores fell on me. Once I went back to work, things got much better. Yes, we do have our household balance issues - sure - but I love being able to pull the "I work too" card! Sending hugs. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736214 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:49:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 1736214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH and do the majority of the chores, but we kind of agreed on that AND we only have one, who takes 2 naps a day. And I fall behind all the time, so I imagine when we have two it will be way harder. He has certain chores that are more his-- I just hate vacuuming so that's his job, though I will do a quick one in a pinch, but part of the deal with be staying home is that I can pick up extra slack around the house. </p> <p>I will say, from the first time we lived together we both agreed we MUST have a dishwasher. I had always lived without one and it was fine-- annoying, but fine. DH has always had one and NEVER hand washes dishes. I would have gotten awfully rage-y if I was the only one washes dishes, ever. So for the sake of our relationship, it was a must have. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736189 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:37:53 +0000 OsoInGreenAndGold 1736189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes. Honestly, this is the biggest point of contention in our relationship right now. With only one kid, I'm able to mostly stay on top of stuff, but I have a system. Tasks may not always be 100% completed immediately, and DH will randomly get snitty about one thing or another on occasion, and I get defensive. I don't begrudge the fact that I'm expected to do the majority of the stuff, but I do get frustrated that he doesn't always seem to appreciate/be aware of how much work it is just to keep the house from looking like a complete disaster area by the day's end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736183 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:35:55 +0000 Mrs. Sunshine 1736183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Even before LO &amp; we both WOH all the chores were/are my job forever &amp; forever. Sometimes it makes me stabby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736122 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:08:59 +0000 Turd Ferguson 1736122@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. I pretty much do everything house-related (cleaning/laundry/bills/etc). DH is MORE than willing to help, but it's really not too much extra for me (I do only have one LO who is 8 months, though). There are times I let things go (like just doing a quick sweep of the floors instead of scrubbing) a little longer than I used to pre-baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1736117 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 13:05:23 +0000 aegie 1736117@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can understand and I work out of home. Sometimes we let dishes slide because things come up and next thing you know you're staring at the world's largest pile of dishes and it's like tetris getting everything to fit. Plus now that it's summer, our hamper fills up like foam. I think the fact that my husband is tall (6-3) his clothes are just LARGE too. So just having a few of his jeans and shirts in there plus a few towels makes the hamper look like it's overflowing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735981 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 12:10:41 +0000 Mrs. Grizzly Bear 1735981@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: That drying rack would be brilliant! And I togally employ the basket method. At naps or bedtime I go around just collecting the toys then sort them when I'm all done collecting. I find it funny my mom thought my OCD would relax once I had kids ;) Nope, just a whole new level. Like how I have to find all the puzzle pieces. </p> <p>@Smurfette: We used to do that! But now we're to the point where one puts the clothes in the hamper and the other one takes it out and suddenly we're playing indirty laundry because this is the best game EVER. So now the hamper lives in the bathroom. Out of sight, out of toddler mind. </p> <p>@bushelandapeck: Our washer and dryer are outside on the enclosed back porch :( which would work fine if that wasn't also where the bunnies live and how we usually go outside to our backyard. If we tried to do that there would be major meltdown that we weren't A) gettig the bunnies out yet or B) not going outside right now. But great idea!</p> <p>@filly: Funny! My hubs actually cooks and cleans up. We've decided cooking is not my forte (but baking is). Plus he likes expiramenting and I'm much more by the recipe. It makes us both happy - I don't stress, he has fun. :)</p> <p>@Pepper: My inner environmentalist goes "But we have plates for the kids, let's use them!" If it weren't for that I'd be totally with you. Which is why whenever we host anything, we alwayd always always use paper plates. I have enough normal dishes to worry about ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735969 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 12:03:45 +0000 MsLipGloss 1735969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pepper: Same for me . . . I pretty much do all of the same things I did when we were first married and before LO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735938 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:49:08 +0000 Pepper 1735938@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Paper plates! We have a dishwasher, but I still use paper plates for breakfast and lunches. So much easier than dirtying a bunch of dishes when it's just LO and I!</p> <p>I'm a SAHM, but my husband still helps with cleaning. I do feel like the majority of it is on me, but it was like that before I was a SAHM, or even a mom for that matter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735931 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:48:11 +0000 filly 1735931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES YES YES. our one rule that we have stuck with pre/post kids is - - I cook, DH cleans :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735930 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:47:08 +0000 bushelandapeck 1735930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We also ask DS to put his clothes in the washer, which is close to the living room and bathroom where he is usually dressed/undressed. He likes to help and I hate cleaning up clothes everywhere, so it's a win-win for everyone! I don't sort our clothes so whenever the washer is full, I run it. That also seems to cut down on the multiple loads at once. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735921 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:43:24 +0000 hilsy85 1735921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yes, absolutely. I do pretty much everything at home. DH hasn't cleaned anything in...I can't even remember the last time! I do feel like it's my responsibility though. If there is something I want him to do--like if we are having people over and I need help cleaning up--I will ask him and he will do it. But he doens't do any household things on a regular basis. </p> <p>Honestly, if I didn't have a dishwasher I would use paper plates for at least one meal a day! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735919 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:43:01 +0000 Smurfette 1735919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I already taught R when we take her clothes off they go in the hamper. Try and get the kids to do that. It would help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735911 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:39:45 +0000 MsLipGloss 1735911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, when I am tidying up, I carry a small basket with me as I go, so I can just pick things up, drop them in, or, take them out and put them away as I move through the house. You can even get your littles to help with collecting things. </p> <p>And yeah, I know I don't SAH, but thought this might be helpful.</p> <p>ETA: Also, I had to let go of being able to do one task from start to finish . . . so, maybe I didn't get all the dishes washed (I hand wash most of LO's plates/utensils), but I might have had time for a few. It doesn't seem like much progress at the time, but at the end of the day, it really adds up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735909 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:38:47 +0000 MsLipGloss 1735909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about a drying rack like this:</p> <p>[attach=2207/14/n83fko.600x600.Dish.Rack.Tiered.jpg]</p> <p><a href="http://tinyurl.com/qgrf7sr" rel="nofollow">http://tinyurl.com/qgrf7sr</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-as-a-sahp-that-more-chores-fall-on-you#post-1735890 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 11:29:49 +0000 Mrs. Grizzly Bear 1735890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't mean that hubs doesn't do his fair share and then some but sometimes I feel since I'm a SAHM with two littles and we spend a good chunk of our days at home, I just get... Overwhelmed and have to take immediate action. </p> <p>For example, laundry. Hubs and I tend to strip our toddlers wherever they stand if they're about to get dirty or have just gotten dirty and we're trying to clean them up. This means a lot of shirts, shorts, dresses, etc are pretty much flung everywhere. I try to make it anpoint of going through the house every night and pickig up the clothes, putting them in the hamper, and making a pile of clothes that need stain remover treatment. But sometimes those shirts seem to get it in their head to hide and multiply. Suddenly my house is beig taken over by mounds of tiny laundry! It drives me bonkers and the next thing I know I'm washing a load (or six) of laundry!</p> <p>Or how about dishes? We don't have a dishwasher which means we have to hand wash everything. We do our best to keep on top of it but all we have is this teeny tiny dishrack for drying. Add that to limited counterspace and suddenly my kitchen looks like a warzone. If we skip washing dishes for breakfast and heaven forbid we don't immediately do dishes at lunch, by dinner time it's a mountain of stuff! And who has time to do that when you're busy corralling the kids?? Or acting as a medium in a disagreement? But suddenly I find myself elbow deep in suds because I can't stand seeing one more dirty fork. </p> <p>Blergh. Do you ever feel like this? </p>