https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 22:41:48 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177432 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 18:02:43 +0000 wheres_c 1177432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sea_bass: I'm not married :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177334 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 16:26:45 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 1177334@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read the whole thread but I think some topics are more "accepted" than others because of who they affect. I completely respect everyone's right to parent as they choose, but sometimes other people's parenting decisions can affect me. So I speak up re: vaccinations or similar topics because they affect more than just one person. SIDS risks are very well and I take them seriously, but one person's decision about where their child will sleep does not affect me.</p> <p>I appreciate the civility on this site, even when people disagree. And I think it reflects norms as they exist. If you hold a position that is less common, it's less represented, which makes sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177320 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 16:13:04 +0000 chrispygal 1177320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Personally, I'm not sure there are many other "moms" like me on HB and I think that's part of what makes it awesome. EVERYONE is different, even if they subscribe to some of the same ideals. </p> <p>I'm almost 40, just had my first and probably only baby, work one white collar job but work 50+ hours a week (without a ton of time to post), I didn't breast feed, am overweight, had a non-emergency c-section, started feeding my daughter cereal around 5 months, have her front facing in the carseat after 13mo, am generally conservative, shop way too much, and am open-minded. I love coming to this site to see/read about and support other moms, from other areas, and other perspectives in their parenting efforts. If I strongly differ in opinion from someone I tend not to post about it because honestly, I see no personal benefit from it. It doesn't mean that I'm afraid to speak up because trust me, I'm not. I just don't think it's worth it. I have way too much else going on in my life and I want to do my part to keep a positive, supportive community both here on HB and in my personal life. </p> <p>And I echo many other posters who have commented that they would love to see the LGBTQ community and single mothers become more active! Even if we don't have the same day-to-day life experiences we can all give each other empathy, advice, and support which is why I love HB so much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177183 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 14:27:28 +0000 808love 1177183@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JoyfulKiwi: :happy: Well said. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177073 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:47:39 +0000 littlek 1177073@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My political beliefs tend to be very different than most people on here but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate hearing other peoples opinion. I find that people on the bee are very different than my IRL friends and I like the different perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/3#post-1177071 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:47:10 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1177071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is HB only for a certain type of mom/women? No. Is it populated mainly by a certain group of women? Yes. I agree with @Mae: that it attracts a subgroup of women who have time for &amp; access to Internet message boards (so, not many women who work multiple jobs, are single mothers, etc). That leads naturally to a culture that discusses certain topics.</p> <p>Obviously I like HelloBee, as I'm posting here. I've never felt "shunned" for express a differing opinion here &amp; I've done that a few times. I've also never been catty to someone who didn't agree with me. There's been plenty of threads that I read and don't comment on, because I don't see the point in it - no one here is asking for me to change their mind about parenting decisions. We're mostly here looking for support &amp; community. </p> <p>I see HB like a mother's group. You're all acquaintances of mine to varying degrees, but you're not my closest friends &amp; confidants (whom I would heatedly discuss things like vaccinations with). I don't discuss really personal, sensitive issues here - just like I wouldn't in a Story Time at the library. I'm not going to argue parenting decisions here, just like I wouldn't when chatting to moms at the park. It may be a large internet community, but I'm still following rules of politeness. I think most of us do, which is why this is such a popular place. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1177061 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:39:07 +0000 deerylou 1177061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mae: Yes, yes, yes. </p> <p>I think it all comes down to language. Respecting someones' parenting choices does *not* always mean you agree with them, and mirror their actions in your own life. </p> <p>It may appear that everyone reads from the same parenting manual, but I really don't think that's the case, here. "Happy mom, happy baby" is a great mantra to remember on this forum, as we truly don't know the circumstances and conditions that contribute to a mother's choice. </p> <p>If anything, hostile language and judgement will always be met with opposition. Phrase your opinions - however unpopular or "alternative" - with class, and you'll likely be met with appreciation and understanding. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1177051 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:32:25 +0000 808love 1177051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I appreciate posts that reflect strong Christian values. There are very diverse thread topics. Being respectful of all views in a community is very important to me. I don't like the drama. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1177044 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:25:18 +0000 MrsKoala 1177044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: Well said! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1177026 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 12:06:41 +0000 Mae 1177026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To answer your basic question and avoid the controversial topics: </p> <p>Yes, I think this website attracts a certain kind of mom. It feels like women here tend to be married, of a certain age (more late 20s-late 30s vs. early 20s), highly educated, liberal-leaning, and upper middle class. I think there are probably a lot of reasons for that, including that women in white collar jobs have more time/ability to post online all the time, that a lot of people migrated from weddingbee, and that once the first core group of women here represented that group more similar women are likely to stay/have fun vs. people who feel like outsiders. </p> <p>As for why that certain type of mom often have similar views--- I think people who are older and educated probably tend to put a lot of trust in professional recommendations and research. I think people tiptoe around breastfeeding more because not everyone CAN do it, and also because it can be particularly challenging if you go back to work soon after giving birth. Whereas vax is something everyone CAN do if they want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176988 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 11:33:46 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1176988@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I agree and fwiw, I have never categorized you as "conservative" or given second thoughts to what you might or might not believe ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176987 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 11:32:44 +0000 MamaMoose 1176987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: well you see that's exactly why I disagree with the idea behind this post. I KNOW you and I have some pretty big differences politically but I still like you lots! And we get along swimmingly (as far as I know :wink: ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176986 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 11:28:31 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1176986@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: I might scare you then if I didn't self-censor for the hive :)</p> <p>My political beliefs hover somewhere around those of Gandhi and Dali Lama (if only I coul be that good of a person)! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176984 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 11:25:43 +0000 MamaMoose 1176984@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: @mrsjazz: hahaha just this morning I was telling my husband how HB leans so much farther left politically than he and I do! Socially I'm there with you on some big topics: I'm pro choice, I can't wrap my head around why anyone would oppose same sex marriage, I could care less if a parent is single, married, gay, straight, etc as long as they love and provide for their child, etc. But fiscally I think of HB as extremely liberal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176954 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:56:21 +0000 MsMamaBear 1176954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know I just don't comment if it's something I can't relate to or too much of a hot topic where nothing but an argument would come from it. </p> <p>@sea_bass: In fact I can't think of a non-married member or a single mum</p> <p>Me! :happy: I think I'm the only one though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176929 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:41:12 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1176929@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrsjazz: I refer lgbt folks, but they don't stay for whatever reason. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176923 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:30:32 +0000 lilyofthewest 1176923@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @wonderstruck: I think will start up a new thread on that &amp; not thread-jack here. :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176914 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:14:22 +0000 cascademom 1176914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelingnanny: I'm hoping that it expands to older kids too as the Bees' kids are getting older. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176911 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:11:01 +0000 travelingnanny 1176911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would agree with you to a certain degree. I think this community can get too caught up in keep up with the Jones. I also think that the way the Bees have set up this community, they have boxed themselves in as a place for new moms. I'm hoping that will change in the future. I'd like to see more moms with older children. I'd also like more foster and LGBT parents to chime in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176901 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:05:37 +0000 mrsjazz 1176901@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I was thinking the same thing with regards to people on HB being more conservative. I am very liberal and would love more LGBTQ voices on HB. I have some friends who are going to be parents soon and I don't tell them about HB because I'm not sure they would feel comfortable here because it is super duper straight.</p> <p>@mrs. bird: :happy: Agreed. There are topics where we have all been in the minority voice but some of us deal with this differently. I occasionally engage, but a lot of times I just back away slowly from the posts or lurk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176896 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 10:02:38 +0000 Lindsay05 1176896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: Yes. The way the differing opinion is represented is what is the issue. </p> <p>If people have put some serious time in researching about non-traditional (or maybe in a sense traditional) methods of parenting, birthing, whatever, then I think the best approach is help educate and inform those who do not know about it, good or bad. Rather than saying well this is what research says, therefore you are hurting your child and you are doing things wrong. It is all about the approach, ESPECIALLY with sensitive topics.</p> <p>I do feel like HB is an overall accepting community for everyone. It is by far the most sensitive and respectful forum I have seen. I hope anyone lurking who may not feel like they will be accepted steps up and joins in the conversations. I know a vast majority of the bees value your opinions and will make you feel very welcome. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176891 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:59:49 +0000 babycanuck 1176891@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the underlying message here is that regardless of the difference of opinions, everyone is looking for the same outcome: </p> <p>People, who despite a different in opinion, have respect for each others' choices and only want the best for their families, no matter what social and socioeconomic box their family fits into.</p> <p>For my home situation: we are barely making ends meet, have crazy familial situations, haven't had luck with having kids yet, are in a mixed-religion marriage with mixed-race families among us. </p> <p>Even though I may agree or disagree with other posters, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and all that matters at the end of the day on HB is keeping ourselves grounded and having some great people to talk to on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176889 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:58:08 +0000 sea_bass 1176889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>To those who replied to me... </p> <p>I visit other formus and there are large threads for people trying to cut down on alcohol, people dealing with affairs, managing step children etc. things you really rarely see on this. </p> <p>I'm not saying i want people to have problems, im saying we all do, but id go elsewhere to post anything of that nature. As its rarely posted on here I feel like rather than practical advise id get alot of internet hugs. That's fine, it's the tone of this forum. </p> <p>As someone said most mums are married, that's also completely untrue-in the UK only half of children are now born to married parents. Statistically there is a much higher representation of married people on this site. Again, nothing wrong with that. But a relevant observation given the thread tittle.</p> <p>Also gold really doesn't afford you privacy. Anyone with 25 dollars and a PayPal account can read your private thread. </p> <p>Again all just observations. If you're all happy here, that's great. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176883 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:55:10 +0000 cascademom 1176883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After reading this thread, I realize that I avoid more controversial topics on here like others. I left another site because I got utterly flamed for expressing how I felt about my MIL. I remember feeling like a community who once embraced me, scorned me. This was the same time I was going through it IRL with my knitting group. I was truly without support after the birth of my baby.</p> <p>I returned here and chose to be more thoughtful and careful about my interactions. The introduction of Gold really made a great way to express the tough stuff without it leaking all over the Internet. I think HB is crunchier than most places on the Internet while still being a great resource. I remember reading a blogger's post about formula feeding. It made feel okay about weaning at 8 months old.</p> <p>I'd love to see LGBT, single motherhood, and blended families better represented here. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176878 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:53:42 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1176878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@wonderstruck: I think attracting LGBT parents and making them feel more inclusive is worthy of it's own thread. </p> <p>@lilyofthewest: hey there, hometown homie! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176865 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:49:06 +0000 photojane 1176865@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm totally an outlier here. We're broke, I buy my shoes at Target, and I enjoy fast food cheeseburgers. I formula feed my freakin' awesome kid (and plan to FF the rest of them), she eats food from jars, and sometimes I just let her cry. We don't obsess over screen time, and she's slept in her crib from a couple months old (and I like it that way!). </p> <p>While there seems to be so much that separates me from a lot of the ladies here, I've still managed to make some good friends. I think if you seek the positive, look for the similarities, and get to know people beyond their income and level of crunch, it won't be hard to find people you really like. Once you actually get to know some of these ladies, you realize we're all not so different after all. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176859 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:41:33 +0000 wonderstruck 1176859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: Well if we're strictly discussing just how many moms agree on varying subjects, I think that your examples (pro-vax, not co-sleeping) are pretty typical for most moms in the US, which is where the majority of bees are from. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with not being part of that majority, I fully support LGBT families, single parents, SAHDs, etc. I'm just saying that seems to be what is most present here. I'd hate for anyone to feel like their opinion isn't welcome here because they don't fit the majority mindset (well, except for the people that choose to be snarky and say nasty things about other's views, majority or not.) </p> <p>From what I've seen, people are generally welcoming to other thoughts and parenting styles so long as it's given respectfully. For example, if you see people discussing having to move their babies to the crib early on because they're not getting any sleep, there's a big difference between saying, "Co-sleeping has worked great for our family, and I love that I have to worry less about SIDS with it. Maybe if you tried XYZ it could make things easier if you wanted to give it a try too." and saying, "Why would you put your baby in their crib where there's a higher risk of them dying from SIDS?" And yes, the same thing goes for vaccination POVs, although I agree with PPs that it's more of a hot topic since it can affect their children too. And I'm sure it does happen sometimes where people just assume most bees agree with their stance and post something not so nice about the other side - while they may be right about most bees agreeing, I do think that is a situation where we could all be a bit more mindful of the fact that we don't want anyone feel like an outsider.</p> <p>Also I'm curious - for the bees who are LGBT, how do you guys think we could make you feel more included? Obviously we can't change the percentages of how many bees here are straight and how many are not, but what posts in particular make you feel like an outsider? The first thing that comes to my mind that we can possibly change is thread titles that read, "Does your DH ...whatever" instead of using SO or some other gender-neutral title. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176857 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:41:08 +0000 jh524 1176857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sea_bass: well said.@Bookish: I like</p> <p>I'm not even gonna go there...how bout those cardinals last night, hmm :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176855 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:37:48 +0000 imbali 1176855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. bird: +1 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-like-hb-is-only-for-a-certain-type-of-womanmom/page/2#post-1176852 Sun, 27 Oct 2013 09:34:58 +0000 lawbee11 1176852@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think a lot of users don't speak up when they feel like their opinion goes against the norm or is unlike several of the posters before them. I rarely comment on the "what's for dinner?" threads because I am way too embarrassed to say a box of mac n cheese while other users are having couscous and duck! </p>