https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 11 Nov 2026 20:32:33 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1435257 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 22:41:08 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 1435257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely identify with this feeling. Not all the time of course, but it's something I deal with for sure. In my case, moving to a different country so that DH can follow his dreams, becoming a SAHM not of my own free will (although maybe that's what I would have chosen anyway, I'm not sure), raising the kiddos without a support network, sometimes I feel trapped in my own life. Of course they are all choices I made, but not being able to "take a break" from it makes it hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1435253 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 22:38:33 +0000 mlm2934 1435253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've definitely struggled with feeling trapped in jobs and locations. I crave more flexibility in life and hope to work toward a life where I can live more fluidly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1435238 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 22:20:18 +0000 lucy123 1435238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread was fitting for my day today. My husband has a very demanding job working 80 hours a week right now and is currently out of town. I have a pretty demanding job and pretty much feel like a single mom. We have a 7 month old and I have to try and manage all the drop offs and picks ups, all the feedings, pretty much everything all while trying to manage my job as well. I love my life and my family, but sometimes i wish I could just have a few hours where I wasn't worrying about timing her next feeding or will I have time to pump. I agree with @babyjmama where I view weekdays as survival mode and I always feel like I am failing in some ways at being a mother and at my job. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1435204 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 21:51:52 +0000 doodlepoodle 1435204@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: word. Hook me up with some irresponsibility. Let me go get a mani/pedi/massage/cocktails, get dressed up and go out on the town. Instead I'm searching for groupons to the local children's museum so we can get out of this flipping house for more than 5 minutes. </p> <p>@lizzywiz: agreed on the 'daily grind' we call all weekdays 'survival mode' in our house. There's always a next task to complete. Dinner. Dishes. Bath. Story. Laundry. Tomorrow's lunch. Sleep. Maybe. Wash, rinse, repeat. I think the survival more is the most difficult part for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434985 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 20:31:23 +0000 Torchwood 1434985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really don't with my life. Well, we're currently living with my mom, and it's driving me mad, but we close on our new house on the 28th so the fact that it's almost over makes it better. I do think once LO gets here I'll feel like that more. But for now I love spending time with DH more than anything, so it's not an issue.</p> <p>I do think, however, that it's really unrealistic to say people can always get out no matter what. I've never made more than $10/hr at a job, and am not qualified for anything that would really pay more. I was barely able to make ends meet with a roommate before I got married. Once I have LO, if I were to want to leave DH (and keep my kid(s)), even with child support I'd be very hard pressed to survive. If he were the type to run off and never pay, I'd wind up on welfare, maybe even if he did pay. My mom is in debt (due to circumstances beyond her control), and while she'd let us live with her, she can barely pay her own bills, much less help. I know that this isn't the type of situation you're talking about with your friend, but there are definitely situations where people, especially women with kids, wind up trapped because they're dependent on their husband's income, or other situations like having a husband so abusive that they're risking their lives if they leave. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434945 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 20:19:35 +0000 mrsbookworm 1434945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel this way sometimes. I had a good job before I met DH, lived in an exciting city and had a lot of fun traveling and going out with friends all the time. I got to make all the decisions about money, how to spend my time, etc. It's very different now that I'm married with a child. Sometimes I miss that old lifestyle but then I remember how much I felt like I was in a "rut" back then. I wanted to meet someone to share my life with, start a family, etc. I guess there's no perfect balance! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434724 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 18:18:53 +0000 .twist. 1434724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: Yep! I would love some irresponsibility. I know my husband would too. A vacations, hell, even a bunch of money to blow at the mall. Sure I *could* just do it, but I have 3 kids to save for and day care and groceries and you know, my own personal savings for a nice vacation one day. :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434714 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 18:10:46 +0000 nana87 1434714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't feel like this now, but I think I felt a little trapped when we first were married and I simultaneously started my phd program, about 3.5 years ago, and it was really just my first semester: I felt really overwhelmed with everything I had to do for school, and at the same time really annoyed that I had this partner I had to think of as well, I couldn't be selfish with my time, which school completely soaked up. Like, if I was a student, I could eat whenever I wanted, study whenever I needed, have study sessions or hang out with my new friends/colleagues whenever, etc etc. But with dh, he still had a normal office schedule (I worked for 4 years in btw college and grad school, so we used to have the same schedule when we lived together before), and he needed to know when I'd be home, when we'd eat together, etc. But it was really a passing thing--I haven't felt like that at all since getting used to balancing grad school and marriage. Now, I think it's completely, 10000000% awesome, and I cannot imagine my life without either him or school. It'll be interesting when we add a LO into the mix in a few months, the balance is definitely going to shift! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434632 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 17:31:50 +0000 Lindsay05 1434632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It is so hard not to feel trapped when you have little humans to look after. It is absolutely no excuse for an affair though. I have been feeling really trapped for the last month having a newborn and -40 weather. I basically sit and feed LO looking outside at the cold weather. How could you not feel trapped? It has even brought me to tears somedays because I feel my only getaway is to soak in a tub or lay in bed, where I can hear my children crying. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434626 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 17:29:07 +0000 BlueWolverine 1434626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel trapped by my job. I left a very general area to start working in something very niche, but now I'm stuck. If I want a different job in this very specific field, we'd have to move and there are only a few places we could go. I don't regret taking the job - it was a major lifestyle and pay change - but I wish my career were more flexible. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434599 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 17:20:34 +0000 rattles 1434599@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think part of growing up is making choices to pursue one path or another, and the flip side of that is that there are roads not taken and decisions that can't be undone. With marriage and kids come stability and permanence. Most days I take so much comfort in that, but it is intrinsically something in which we're "trapped" in both the big picture and the daily minutiae. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434432 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 16:31:37 +0000 CottonCandy 1434432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lizzywiz: Yes!! Sometimes I get really annoyed at being a "WE"...I just want to buy what I want, do what I want, etc. at times. For example, my lease is up for my car in three months and "WE" have to decide what to get next. End rant. lol :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434417 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 16:29:26 +0000 lizzywiz 1434417@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: DITTO. blerg.<br /> For my part- 'Trapped' is one of the most difficult feelings for me- makes me want to ignore the exit on the highway and just keep driving.<br /> My trapped feelings have to do with marriage more than LO. Sometimes I just get tired of having another adult's choices/decisions/ desires/mood impact mine ALL of the time. Sometimes I just want to think something and do it (buy big ticket item, decide where I want to go for dinner) without consulting/considering someone else. When I get fed up and think that I will NEVER get to make a unilateral decision again, omg, I need a drink!<br /> Also, as a WOHM, I do feel trapped in the daily grind- scurrying from daycare to work to daycare to home to bed and doing it all over again everyday.<br /> I would like to have more freedom in my life to be irresponsible occasionally but we don't have the resources for that right now.</p> <p>We have been married for 13 years, and this feeling has ebbed and flowed over the years. </p> <p>I wonder if our moms felt this way? My mom says no, but her prescription drug use tells another story :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434217 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 15:22:37 +0000 looch 1434217@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel trapped sometimes in the sense that I can't stop the train I am on. I wanted nothing more than to go away for a few days with my husband this winter, instead, we renovated our laundry room.</p> <p>I want a little bit of irresposibility. We have the funds to do both the laundry room and the vacation, but I am too focused on the long game to do both, if that makes sense. So, yeah, money is my mistress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434209 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 15:21:03 +0000 Dandelion 1434209@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt very trapped with my ex. It was a bad situation and I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be a failure with my marriage, but I was really, truly miserable. Once I made the decision to get out of there with DS, it felt so much better.</p> <p>I have never felt trapped in my current marriage. Only that I really want to be here with my family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434202 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 15:18:52 +0000 Mae 1434202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm curious how I"ll answer this in a year, as I'm sure mommy-hood is going to be more of a challenge than I can currently comprehend. But so far-- no. I thought marriage would be way harder than it is for me. I absolutely love it and I love the security and routine and the "rut." I'm the one in our relationship who could do the same thing day in/out week in/out and be perfectly content because I think I'm a person who thrives more on predictability than on excitement. But also my life right now is pretty damn easy and it's about to get a whole lot harder so I can see why someone with kid(s) might feel more of a need to escape sometimes. I think I'm pretty honest with my husband about my feelings and we do both value alone time/time with friends currently-- so I hope that once our LO arrives if I'm feeling the need to escape I'll be able to express that to him and get what I need in a healthy way (via either a hobby or a weekend away or just spending a little more time with my friends). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434182 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 15:14:15 +0000 blackbird 1434182@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh sure, I feel trapped sometimes. I think it's as normal part of life. We get stuck in routines, etc. I really try to maintain certain things that are just "mine" that i can escape to. And having an escape isn't always a bad thing! I know when I get wound super tight and just feel myself going downhill, I get to the gym for an hour or two and come home a new person. And everybody in my household benefits from the mama being in a better mood :) I just think we get in ruts easily because life can become very routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434058 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:46:55 +0000 snowjewelz 1434058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am definitely no where near a life stage that would make me feel trapped (married &lt; 1 yr, no kids yet). But word of advice from people to me was always to make sure I have my own hobbies &amp; keep up with at least a few girlfriends. It's hard for me to develop a new hobby as an adult though! My dog used to be my hobby but now DH &amp; I share life with her. I like shopping and that is one thing I never do w/ DH, but I think I need something more substantial haha. DH &amp; I even go work out together (although I take Zumba by myself). Hopefully by always retaining my identity by doing something for me, it will help not to feel too trapped in the future! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434041 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:41:56 +0000 Cherrybee 1434041@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do identify with that - although I'd never have an affair of course! I am really bored in my career but can't afford the pay cut required to start out in a new field because I have responsibilities - our mortgage, our daughter, the cost of childcare. For example, I put myself through college for four years to get my law qualifications. But when it came to it, I needed to earn £10,000pa more than my best job offer (which was, apparently, very good) to cover the cost of our bills and lifestyle. I'm sure if I really, really pushed it we could cut back and find a way but it's not just me I have to think about anymore, I need to think about my husband's happiness, my daughter's future...... and that's forever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434017 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:35:19 +0000 CottonCandy 1434017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For me personally, a husband and kids definitely makes me feel "trapped" at times. I feel kind of bad even typing that. And then feeling guilty for feeling that sucks too....Sometimes I just miss being carefree and not having to worry about anyone else except for myself. I know that's normal to an extent though. And when I find myself struggling with those feelings, I try to take some me time and do something for myself. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1434009 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:33:45 +0000 mrsjyw 1434009@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's normal for any person to feel like they've lost "ME" in life, especially once that marriage/having kids milestone is passed. But, it's more a life adjustment/passing feelings in my opinion.</p> <p>If I were to feel really "trapped", for me - that would be some sort of regret in the decisions I made to become a wife, mother, etc. And that goes all the way to my job/career choice etc. </p> <p>I def have days where I miss my 'singleton' days, but I haven't experienced feeling 'trapped' in life thus far.</p> <p>As far as mental breaks I give myself to practice "taking care of myself" on a regular basis is: working out, running errands alone, taking time to myself, making time for friend dates, date nights, spending time doing my regular hobbies (ie reading). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/do-you-ever-feel-trapped#post-1433985 Wed, 19 Feb 2014 14:29:24 +0000 lizzywiz 1433985@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I spoke with a friend recently who is dealing with the disastrous fallout of an affair- her affair. It doesn't fit her personality or her her history, but it happened. She didn't even like the guy, but it somehow made her life seem more livable (regarding that-she said that even though she is very busy she often feels bored).<br /> Anyway, we talked about how everyone has their way of 'escaping' when day to day life is too much. Sex, booze, shopping, or healthier things like socializing, church, running. I, for one, had a period of several years where I was definitely drinking too much, to escape what I don't know. The list would be long and varied if we talked about all of the ways we avoid or mask that 'trapped' feeling.</p> <p>We both talked to other friends about it and that word, 'trapped', kept coming up. Nobody is rich, but they all have the ability to survive a divorce, if necessary, or make a life course change or whatever, so they are not literally trapped.The thing is- most of the women I know have built the lives they thought they wanted.</p> <p>I know this is kind of a vague topic starter, but I am interested in the hellobee community's thoughts on this. </p>